Chapter 17

REN

Ren's sandwich was about as appetizing as milk left outside for a week in hundred-degree heat, but they managed to choke it down.

"Do you think Kristin will let us take another look at Ashley's journal?" They asked, picking at the leftover crust from their sandwich.

Kristin and Zip still remained in the workshop attached to the SFPU garage, leaving Ferris and Ren to finish up lunch together.

Ren had cleared the plates when Ferris ate the last of his meal, standing up and collecting them before he could move to do so. Their stomach twisted at the sight of Kristin's partially-made sandwich, slices of bread littered with gouges and holes. It felt like an echo, a physical manifestation of what Ashley's death left behind. The tattered pieces of pain and confusion and grief, so tangled up that Ren wasn't sure they would ever be able to pull them apart. Not while the wounds were still so raw.

"I'm sure Kristin will at some point," Ferris replied. "It's something of Ashley's, and it seems Ashley felt whatever he wrote was of great importance. I'm not sure when Kristin will want to open the journal, though. It could be later today, or it could be a few weeks from now."

Ren nodded.

"Do you have a Muse account?" Ferris asked.

"Do I have a Muse account?" They echoed his question.

"Yeah."

"No. Why?"

"I found the account Ashley mentioned in his journal. CaspianLyonAuthor. I can only see the description of the account, though. To see the posts, I need a Muse account."

"Do you think Ashley left hints?"

"I don't know. I just don't like sitting around. It feels like I'm doing nothing." Ferris huffed a humorless laugh, running a hand through his hair.

"I feel the same way," Ren murmured, staring down at their hands. "I want to be doing something as well, yet I have no idea what."

But really, what was there that they could do that the Moonfall Precinct wasn't already doing? The Moonfall Precinct were the ones with every resource possibly needed to get to the bottom of Ashley's murder, not Ren. They had years of experience and training, and Ren didn't. They had a network of contacts that Ren lacked.

The only thing Ren had that the Moonfall Precinct didn't was knowledge of Ashley when he was alive. What he was like. What he did. An inside look at who he was that couldn't be gotten through stories told by another.

But that could only get Ren so far, because, at the end of the day, they still didn't have the capabilities of the Moonfall Precinct.

Sitting around didn't feel right, though. It felt too still, too close to giving up.

CaspianLyonAuthor might just be Ashley's fake Muse profile and might give nothing more than whatever posts he had created for his alter ego, but it at least gave the illusion of doing something. And the thought of possibly getting some sort of information was tantalizing enough that Ren stood up and crossed around to the other side of the table to sit next to Ferris.

Until Kristin decided to open Ashley's journal again, his Muse profile was something to look at.

Ferris had already begun to scroll through the posts.

"What did you put as your username?"

"ToryFairy77. There's a story behind it, but it's a long one."

Ren nodded and took the hint. They were curious, yes, but they weren't going to push. Not when Ferris wasn't in a sharing mood and had only said there was a long story to skip past questions about the username. And not when there were more important things that needed to get done. Perhaps another time, but right now they needed to look at Ashley's Muse profile for his author persona.

Ren peered over Ferris's shoulder. He scrolled through posts on CaspianLyonAuthor, most of which were selfies of someone who looked like Ashley in the vaguest sense. The only real similarity was the same dark skin Ashley had.

"Do you think he photoshopped himself?"

Ferris glanced up from his phone briefly before zooming in with two fingers to get a closer look. He narrowed his eyes and replied a few moments later. "No, I don't think so. Ashley went through a lot of effort to create this Caspian Lyon persona so he could hide his journal. I'm not as knowledgeable about technology as Zip is, but someone would probably be able to undo any editing Ashley did on a photo of himself and trace it back to him. He might've photoshopped a photo of someone else, though I'm not sure."

"I think you're right. With enough effort, I have no doubt that any photo that was once obviously of Ashley could be traced back to him. And-... wait, when was the last post uploaded?" Ren leaned over as Ferris scrolled up to the last picture released, humming a soft reply.

It was a copy of the faux Pockets of Gold and Silver, a book similar to Ashley's journal; a leather cover and golden letters, although there was an image of two small children, each carrying an overflowing bag of money over their shoulder in the middle. A steaming mug filled with coffee was placed above the book, giving the image a staged feel.

"It looks like it was posted about three weeks ago. Did we have anything going on three weeks ago?" Ferris set his phone down, tilting his head to the side and squinting in thought.

"I'm sure we did, but I don't believe it was anything super unusual. We arrested Pyr Iskie a week or two before that."

"I'll look at the records when Zip comes back. I don't want to disturb him and Kristin." Ferris's voice softened.

Ren nodded.

Nothing in the SFPU camp had changed; everything was where it should have been. And yet when Ren returned with the rest of the group after finding out that Ashley had been murdered, it felt so dramatically different. Like something in the fundamental makeup of the camp had been modified so it resembled a place Ren knew so well, but that would never hold that spark of something they hadn't known was so crucial until it wasn't there. Something they hadn't known to look for, something they hadn't known they'd miss, because it was something they had never known to think about.

A drizzle began outside, as if echoing the somber feeling in the kitchen of the SFPU house, and raindrops trickled down the windows.

Ren pressed a hand to their chest, and the beginnings of tears prickled in their eyes. "It hurts so much," they found themselves saying. "And knowing that Ashley didn't get whatever mercy a quick, painless death could've offered makes it hurt so much more. The pain he-... And yet, I can only imagine what it feels like for Kristin."

"I can't imagine what it feels like for him either," Ferris murmured, leaning forward on the table. He stared at his hands and fiddled with his fingers. His jaw worked and he swallowed, lip trembling. "Time can heal many wounds, but... but there are some that can never truly heal."

Ren took a deep breath, exhaling slowly to quell the quiver in their throat.

"We each had a different relationship with him," they said. "Kristin had a very different relationship to him, being his brother. But... I don't really know what I'm trying to say."

Ferris didn't respond, but he gave a subtle nod. His watery eyes were fixated on his hands, but his gaze seemed distant. Elsewhere.

xxxx

Charlie came through the door a little while later. Her hair stuck to her skin and her clothes dripped onto the floor. "Whoever decided it should be raining now made a terrible decision," she grumbled as she peeled off her coat and threw it over the back of the couch, holding onto it as she stepped out of her sneakers.

The hard edge in her eyes —somewhere between frustration and pain— made it clear asking where she had been would not be a good decision. She was not in a sharing type of mood. Pushing would only cause her hackles to rise further. Ren held their tongue.

But when Charlie turned around and saw Ren and Ferris at the table, her cross expression softened. "Oh," she said. "Hi, I guess. I'd ask how it's going, but I don't think that's a great question right now."

Ren shrugged. "It's ok."

"I'm gonna change, but either of you want something to eat when I come back here? I'm feeling snack-ish and I'm pretty sure I haven't eaten or drank in the last several hours."

"I'm good," Ren said. "But thank you."

"Something small? I could probably eat something if it's ready to go." Ferris glanced up

"I think there are some hardboiled eggs."

"I'll have those, please."

"Alrighty. I'll be back in a few."

Charlie ducked down the hallway that ran parallel to the kitchen and living space in the SFPU house, and her door shut behind her. Ferris watched the empty space she had been standing in just before for several moments until he picked up his phone again. He unlocked it and scrolled through the last few posts on CaspianLyonAuthor.

Ren let the silence sit before they decided to break it. "Are you going to show that to Charlie?"

"Show what to me?" Charlie returned, padding into the kitchen and pulling a shirt down her torso. Ren saw Ferris staring at the band of skin on her waist and quickly looking away when it became covered with a light blush, but they didn't mention it.

This text was taken from Royal Road. Help the author by reading the original version there.

"I searched for the Muse account Ashley mentioned in his journal," Ferris said. "It does exist and looks like what I'd imagine an author's social media might look like. You were able to figure out the patterns and clues Ashley put in his bookshelves. I thought that perhaps he put clues in the Muse account as well. I didn't see any, but I also wouldn't be able to decipher anything from his books."

"Once you know what to look for, it's actually pretty straightforward. It's just knowing what to look for and where. But yeah, I can take a look. CaspianLyonAuthor?"

"Yes, that is the account."

"Lemme see," Charlie said, making a grabby motion with her hand. Ferris handed over the phone, and she pursed her lips, scrolling through.

"ToryFairy77. Fun name. How'd you choose that one?" Charlie glanced up.

"Long story."

"Alright, very well. Ashley really went to town creating Caspian Lyon and making him very author-y. Getting each picture to look that high quality and keeping the story straight on who Caspian Lyon is and what has already been said and what hasn't? That's a lot of work."

"Are there any clues you can see in the posts?" Ren asked.

Charlie shook her head. "I'm not seeing any that follow the patterns he used in his bookshelves. I could take a longer look later to make sure I'm not missing anything and go through every post, but I don't believe there are any here, at least within the first few I've looked at. It also doesn't seem very likely that Ashley would've put clues in any of his posts."

"Why?" Ferris took his phone back when Charlie gave it to him.

"Muse accounts are open to the public; anyone can see any account, provided they have one of their own. Ashley's bookshelves are private. Mostly. CaspianLyonAuthor is not private. At all. He wouldn't've been able to control who saw anything he posted on the account."

"Anyone would be able to see anything within the posts," Ren murmured, mind working over Charlie's words. "Someone could've pieced together what Ashley had hidden within them."

"Exactly," Charlie said, making her way over to the fridge and pulling it open. "I'm not saying there aren't any clues, I'm just saying CaspianLyonAuthor is a hell of a lot less secure than Ashley's bookshelves, at least as far as controlling who'd be able to see said clues, knowingly or not. However, I can guarantee you that if there is anything Ashley has hidden within the posts, it has been hidden well. Very well. Better than... probably anything ever hidden in the history of Waverwell. Might be somethin' in his journal, though. Some hints, a guide, maybe a fun little treasure map. Why'd you look at this again?" Charlie turned around, a package of ham in hand and a slice well on its way to her mouth.

At least some things haven't changed, Ren thought. It was obvious that a part of Charlie's behavior was an act; it lacked the ease and grace her actions normally had. A bit too robotic and prickly to feel wholly natural. Yet going to the fridge to find something to eat midway through a conversation was entirely her. In Charlie's words, I'm hungry. I'm still listening even if I'm not staring into your eyeballs. If I don't find food, I'm not gonna be listening because I'm going to be thinking solely about food. Lemme get something to eat. Ren couldn't argue with that.

Ren huffed a small laugh as they watched Charlie grab a glass of water, an apple, and a bag of chips, some hardboiled eggs, balance them with the package of ham in her arms, and then make her way back to the table. She deposited them in a haphazard pile, plucking up the apple before it could roll off the edge.

"Ashley mentioned CaspianLyonAuthor in his journal, and Caspian Lyon is the pen name he used when he published the book version of Pockets of Gold and Silver." Ferris twirled his phone in his grip. "And I don't like sitting around. It feels like I'm not doing anything, even though I don't know how much I can really do. The SFPU doesn't have the same capabilities that the Moonfall Precinct does."

"Here. Some hardboiled eggs." Charlie pushed the container of them across the table as she sat down.

Ferris held it up with a frown. "I don't want eight of them. I like eggs, but not that much."

"In case you get hungry later. Or share some with Ren."

Ferris rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, that's right. He did put CaspianLyonAuthor in the journal. I forgot about that. Maybe there are some clues in there." Charlie leaned back in her chair. Her expression brightened with realization, and she crunched on a mouthful of chips, chewing in thought. "Yeah, I'll have to look over the account again in more depth. There's gotta be some reason he told us that. Don't think Ashley would've said something like the Muse account of a fake author he created just cuz. I wanna see the journal, though. Might be some clues as to if there are clues in Caspian Lyon's posts."

Ren shook their head. "We're going to let Kristin decide when we look at Ashley's journal again."

Charlie nodded with a shrug. "Yeah, probably a good idea. Where is Kristin anyway? Zip, too. Didn't see either of them when I got back to camp."

Ren looked out across the courtyard toward the garage. The door to Zip's workshop was still closed, just as it had been when he'd led Kristin into it.

"They're both in Zip's workshop."

Charlie raised her eyebrows, a chip pausing partway to her mouth. "Are they now?"

"Not like that," Ferris sighed, exhaling in a way that echoed exhaustion down to his bones. "Kristin was about to cry and Zip brought him away so he could get some time alone. He wasn't going to remove himself from the table. We all knew that. Zip just reacted first."

Charlie huffed, shoulders drooping and gaze falling to the side. She took several breaths before she turned back to Ferris and replied. "I didn't mean it like that! Come on, Dipper. I'm not always too serious, yeah, but I'm not gonna make jokes like that about Kristin and Zip. Not when things are like this. You know Ashley and I had the biggest teasing streak going. We were always messing around. And now we... now we-. We don't. Zip always gets so uncomfortable when anyone mentions anything about him and Kristin, too. I rarely take most things seriously, but I know where the lines are that I shouldn't cross."

"It sounded like you were, though, Charlie. Sounded a bit like you were implying Kristin and Zip were, you know-," Ren murmured, crossing their ankles beneath their chair and leaning forward on their forearms. They kept their voice soft and even, watching Charlie carefully for any reaction on her part.

Charlie blinked innocently —the only thing her expression and actions gave away— and then interrupted Ren. "It wasn't a joke. I was merely surprised, that's all. Zip rarely does anything like that." She paused as her shoulders drew up, chewing on her lip before continuing, and the words spilled from her mouth. "Do you ever think I don't care? Or that I take things to far? Cuz... I-I do care. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. I don't want you to think anything like that, since I don't want to be that type of person. Does it come across that way? I-I... God, why can't things just be easier? I don't even know what my brain is doin' right now."

Charlie's lip curled and she exhaled a sharp breath through her teeth, eyes flashing. Her fingertips dug into her cheeks as she placed her elbows on the table to cradle her chin in her palms.

"I know that you care, Charlie," Ferris said. "I apologize for anything I did that made you think otherwise. I know that you care very deeply, and I have never questioned that. Not in the slightest. I realize that I could've been clearer in what I said. This is a stressful and tough time for all of us, and I'm not thinking as clearly as I could be right now. I will try to be more careful in what I say in the future."

When Charlie looked up, Ren caught a flash of pain within her eyes, but she covered it up a fraction of a second later, hiding it behind towering walls. She huffed a short laugh and ran a hand through her hair. "Glad you didn't think so."

Charlie shifted on her seat, pulling a leg up. She chewed on her lip, a slight frown wrinkling her forehead as her eyes flitted across the room, lingering on the window that offered a view of Zip's workshop and the garage. Ren was just about to ask what had her so on edge when Charlie spoke first.

"Either of ya looked at Waverwell News recently?" The ease in Charlie's voice felt far too casual, and Ren wondered what she had seen.

They hadn't kept up with anything happening in Waverwell. Ashley's murder was more than their mind and body could handle; the news would only add to the stress. Arresting poachers, too, but the Moonfall Precinct would take care of that.

"You haven't?" Ren and Ferris nodded in unison at Charlie's question.

She hummed. "Someone said that new disease in Corville and Dal was caused by Arkreon and Leviathan Inc. knew about it. No idea if it's true and didn't really read the article, but that's what the claim sounds like. Regardless of the truthfulness of it, it's awfully juicy. Did You Hear?! is probably like eighty percent articles on that claim right now."

Ferris unlocked his phone, likely looking up the story to read it himself.

Ren narrowed their eyes.

Leviathan Inc. was one of the most well-known companies in Waverwell, arguably the most well-known. Ren thought Chad and Darcy came across as a bit haughty, but they'd never met the owners. As with anyone famous, there would be rumors and gossip. And most of it would be without much-needed context, false, or stretching the truth so far that it closely bordered on false.

"Well, the claims will certainly stir up quite a bit of drama," Ferris said, looking between Ren and Charlie as he spoke. "But I'm not seeing any concrete proof right now. The article I'm looking at is the first one posted on Waverwell News. It was posted... it looks like, uh, this morning. One of the writers got a letter from someone saying Leviathan Inc. skimped on safety measures and that Arkreon is the cause of the disease. The person is anonymous and didn't give their name in the letter."

"So the claims could be true or it could be a baseless dig at Leviathan Inc.?" Ren drummed their fingers on the table.

Ferris nodded. "Yeah, that sums it up."

"What's your login for Muse? Just downloaded it and I'll need it to see Ashley's account." Charlie held her phone up and wiggled it. The minimalist sign-in page was pulled up on the screen.

"You can create your own account. It's free."

Charlie sighed. "I suppose I could. I'll just have to make sure I don't forget the password."

Ren smiled at that. They'd been there several times when Charlie had dragged Zip to her phone or laptop so he could reset the password because she had forgotten the login information, username included. He'd told Charlie to write them down somewhere secure, but Ren wasn't sure if she had actually done that.

"You will have to remember what you put as the password," Ferris agreed with an amused look on his face, though it didn't quite reach his eyes. "I don't think Zip wants to keep resetting your passwords because you can't remember any of part of the login information."

Charlie gave him a cold scowl.

"Yeah, whatever," she murmured after a long pause.

xxxx

It was the evening when Kristin decided to open Ashley's journal again.

Dinner had come and gone with Charlie fishing out leftovers and random already-opened packages from the fridge and cupboards for everyone to nibble on, and the tension in the room was thick enough to cut with a knife as Kristin leaned against the kitchen counter, journal in hand. His body was tense, held close together like he was moments from falling to pieces. Ren thought that perhaps that wasn't too far from the truth.

The rest of the group was seated at the table, right where they were for dinner. Kristin had been, too, but he had stood up, likely to get a bit of distance, and no one had asked him to stay.

The room was silent. Kristin stared at Ashley's journal, eyes drowning with grief and pain. His fingers trembled, and his knuckles paled.

Ren found themselves holding their breath. What could be so important that Ashley had asked the SFPU not to tell anyone about? At least, not to tell anyone until they had figured it out, whatever it was.

There was plenty Ren knew Ashley had felt was important, but anything they could think of was all something anyone would be able to figure out easily or would already have known: Kristin, his friends, his job, reading, the prank war he had going with Charlie.

What was it Ashley had written about? Apart from Charlie, Ashley had been the most open one in the SFPU. Yet he had hidden the journal, and even Ren hadn't known it existed until Charlie had found it.

Kristin visibly steeled himself before he opened the cover of Ashley's journal with the care that would be given to the most precious of items.

Ren heard Ferris draw in a sharp breath. Charlie sat up a little straighter, and Zip perked up from the pen he had been assembling and disassembling.

Kristin trailed a finger down the page, tracing over Ashley's writing. He closed his eyes, and a tear slipped down his cheek. Ren wanted to go over to him, but they knew it was a moment that he needed to work through on his own.

He continued reading through entries of Ashley's journal, flipping through the pages seemingly at random. No one broke the silence. The air was thick, pressing down, insistent in a way that Ren could never quite forget, but it hadn't dipped into a choking, screaming quiet.

But then Kristen stopped. He was nearly at the end of Ashley's journal; only a handful of pages remained. Ren tensed. Something had shifted, and the hair on the back of their neck prickled. A primitive safety response saying to be alert, get ready. Something's about to happen.

"Oh, God." Kristin lowered the journal, blood draining from his face as he looked up. No one spoke, but the what? was nearly audible. Ren held their breath.

"Those whistleblower articles on the news..." His gaze dropped back to the pages. His hands trembled, and Zip scrambled to his feet, taking the journal before it fell. Zip cradled it in his arms like a live grenade, setting it down on the table as he climbed back into his seat. Ren wasn't entirely sure Kristin realized Zip had taken the journal.

"What about them?" Charlie pressed when Kristin didn't continue. Her voice sounded distant, even though she was only a couple of feet from Ren.

Kristin drew in a shaky breath. And then another.

"Ashley knew about that," he murmured, voice almost inaudible. "Ashley knew about what the whistleblower said long before the articles were released."