Chapter 17

FERRIS DIPPER

Ferris Dipper didn't know what to do.

It felt like his world was falling apart.

He had created the Silverlight Forest Protection Unit in hopes of trying to help the wildlife in Silverlight Forest.

And despite having saved countless animals, it ended with Ashley's murder.

The SFPU still existed, but it was the skeletal remains of what it once was.

NYTE stood in its place, a group that he didn't feel should have existed.

They would find Ashley's killers and hold them accountable. Ferris knew they would. But they shouldn't have had to.

Ashley should still be alive.

The SFPU should have always existed until they collectively decided their work was done and it was time to pass the baton to the next group who would continue their legacy.

They shouldn't have had to rewire the Camera Trap alerts so volunteering officers from the Moonfall Precinct could go track down poachers after having the alerts sent to them. It should be them, the SFPU, hunting down the offenders and bringing them to the Moonfall Precinct.

The decision to stop should have been theirs. The possibility to continue hunting down poachers existed, but Ferris couldn't see it happening again any time soon. Maybe not ever.

Ferris's fathers had always told him that a little stress was ok. That emotions were never bad because it was a way for your body to communicate. That whenever you felt something you weren't sure of to take a moment and sit with it, try to figure out why you might be feeling that way.

But he didn't know what was going on now. Nothing made sense.

Please, he thought. I need you. I need you, dads. Come back, Toby and Tony. I need your lighthearted jokes, Toby. I need your support, Tony. I need another hug, another meal, another time of just sitting on the damn couch as we watched a movie on that little tv when you were beyond exhausted after a day in the mines but still wanted to find something to do with me and I was just curled up between the two strongest people I knew who never let it go unknown how much you both loved me. I just want one more movie night with the two of you. One more movie night where Tory tries to sneak up on the couch but settles for resting her head in my lap because she knows she's not supposed to be on the furniture.

And I just want one more hug with Ashley. One more of his bone-crushing hugs where whatever was bothering you just melted away in his embrace and he just breathed warmth into you and suddenly the impossible day you were having felt possible. One more round of Ultimate Ballgame where he laid out and dove for the ball and stained the entire front of his shirt in mud and grass. One more of those contagious smiles that split his face in half and lit up the whole world.

Ferris leaned back in his chair, blinking against the burning in his eyes. Crying wasn't a bad thing. His fathers had put in great effort to teach him that— emotions weren't bad, and showing them wasn't either.

But he didn't want to.

Not when he was still digging for anything that might give some sort of why.

He had long email chains going with Asa and Azrael, Larson, Cynthia. And while he received replies, he wanted more. Ferris wanted to know everything.

How else was he supposed to solve Ashley's case if he didn't have everything?

He needed to do something. Anything that might help.

Ferris had already scoured every post made on the CaspianLyonAuthor Muse account for any sort of clue. Had picked up every book on Ashley's bookshelf in hopes that maybe there was another journal hidden away, despite Charlie telling him there were no more clues in the shelves. Had asked Zip again and again if he had found anything else in the Spider Ridge mines book Ashley had hidden away beneath his bed. Had asked Zip if there was anything suspicious in the Camera Traps, even though they had already been checked.

Everything felt hopeless. Like there was just nothing to do, nothing that could be done.

Ferris knew the Moonfall Precinct was working tirelessly on Ashley's case. That Asa and Azrael were too. But who knew how many other cases they were working on?

Every case they were investigating deserved justice, of course... but Ferris just wanted answers. He wanted Ashley to be able to rest easier knowing his killers had been caught. He wanted Kristin to have a shot at maybe sleeping through the night. He wanted the Trinity off the streets since they didn't deserve freedom after what they had done. He wanted to be able to maybe not spend so much time wondering what had happened to his friend, to not spend so much time having the memories of Ashley's body laying cold on the tray in the Moonfall Precinct flicker through his mind's eye.

Ferris groaned and tugged at the roots of his hair. His chair squeaked as he leaned forward too quickly, and his elbows scuffed against his desk. His fathers had always told him that people could change. That bad people could become good if they were willing to put in the work.

The Trinity was bad, there was no question about that. Ferris knew there was no coming back for the three of them. No matter who they were, no matter what reason they might claim for having killed Ashley and Alaska, murder was something that no one could come back from.

Things aren't always black and white, came Tony's voice. He had been cooking breakfast, whisking eggs. Nine-year-old Ferris had been talking about a book he was reading for school and how the villain was so evil. His father had pressed him on who the villain was, and that led to a conversation about what could be justified and in what circumstances.

Ferris knew few things were as simple as black and white, but he didn't know how the Trinity murdering Ashley and Alaska could be anything but black and white. He firmly believed in listening to every side of the story and looking at something from every angle. But what could the Trinity possibly say in their defense?

He sighed. Maybe he just needed to sit on this and get something to eat. Maybe food in his stomach would jumpstart his brain and give him that lightbulb thought. Some idea he hadn't thought of that would solve the case.

Yes, he thought. That would do it. I just need food.

Ferris flipped off the light switch to his room as he walked through the doorway and out into the living area of the NYTE house.

xxxx

The mood was somber. Slow. Sluggish. Silent.

Ren methodically stacked tomatoes atop meat, cheese, and lettuce on their sandwich. Charlie narrowed her eyes at the tomatoes. Zip stared at Kristin with worried eyes, and Kristin sat at the head of the table, wringing his hands as his knee bounced in a blur.

"Are you ok, Kristin?" Ferris asked slowly, breaking the quiet.

"Was it the right decision to give it to them?" Kristin whirled around, stress written across every bit of his expression. His dark eyes were wide, pleading.

"I..." he trailed off. What could he really say that would solve anything? Yes, and Kristin might feel guilty for not giving Ashley's journal to the Moonfall Precinct sooner. No, and Kristin might regret his decision and want the journal back.

"I don't know," he eventually replied. "I don't think that it could hurt anything, but I don't know what the Moonfall Precinct might find. I hope they will find something that will lead to the Trinity's arrest. But I don't know."

"Kristin," Ren said.

Kristin turned around to face them, and Charlie jolted up from spacing out at the tomatoes on Ren's sandwich.

"What?" Kristin's voice was quiet, rough.

"They'll take good care of the journal," Ren said.

"No way they're losin' something like that," Charlie added.

"Accidents happen." Kristin chewed on his lip. His hands trembled as he clenched them on the table. He looked like he was a half step away from a panic attack, and Ferris guessed he likely was.

"Sure, but not something like that."

"You don't know that."

Charlie shrugged. "True, I don't. But that ain't gonna be happenin', Kristin. No way the Moonfall Precinct is gonna lose a piece of evidence like that. Something written by Ashley. They're gonna want that for proof that whoever the Trinity is murdered him."

"If you..." Zip narrowed his eyes, lips thinning as he mulled over his words. "If you wanted... I-I could-. I could see what the-they have on it."

Kristin frowned. "You can see what the Moonfall Precinct has on Ashley's journal?"

Zip nodded, pushing some beets around on his plate.

"How?"

He hesitated, and Ferris tried to read between the lines of what he was saying.

"Zip," he started as he crossed the room and sat down in a chair beside Kristin. "How legal would you seeing what the Moonfall Precinct has be?"

Zip didn't meet his eyes, although he rarely did. "Not... not very."

"Do it," Kristin said. "Whatever it is, do it."

Ferris was only somewhat surprised. Before losing Ashley, Kristin wouldn't have been so quick to say yes, but he wanted answers. And Ferris did too. The line of right and wrong had become more blurred.

"What would you be doing?" Ferris asked.

Zip finished chewing on a beet before replying. "Hack them."

"What do you mean hack them?" Ren asked, carrying their sandwich over to the table and sitting down. Charlie grabbed an orange and followed them so NYTE was all sitting around the kitchen table.

She sat across from Ferris and slouched down in her chair, ankle pressed against his.

Zip stared at his fork for a minute as he processed Ren's question. "Everything is... digitized. Know enough you can do it. Maybe not... not hack. More..." Zip thought over what he was going to say. "More trick them into getting you-you access."

"That still sounds very illegal." Charlie scratched at the orange's peel until she could start removing it.

"Won't it work though?" Kristin asked.

"Yeah." Zip nodded. "I can do it."

"Then shouldn't we do it?"

Ren swallowed a bit of their sandwich. "Break into the... online system of the group that's trying to solve Ashley's murder?"

"Wait, hold up. Why can't we just ask them? Like call Larson up and ask him for information." Charlie paused on peeling her orange in one long strip. She rested her heel against the top of Ferris's foot beneath the kitchen table, and Ferris tried not to react. He figured she was trying to ground herself.

"Because they're not going to tell us!" Kristin cried. "I've tried to get information and all I get is we're working on it or yes, Ashley's murder is related to Alaska's— they were both killed by the Trinity but we have yet to find a connection between them. Nothing new, and it's driving me crazy."

"How do you know that?" Ferris asked, keeping his voice level.

He wanted answers. He knew everyone did. But breaking into the databases of the Moonfall Precinct... they were a part of Waverwell government, and getting caught doing that could result in getting arrested. Ferris trusted Zip's capabilities, but it was still illegal.

"Because I just do."

"How about we try talking with Larson and Asa and Azrael before we start thinking about hacking into a Precinct's servers?" It was a sentence Ferris never thought he would be saying, but nothing was any sort of normal. Everything had been thrown up in the air and spun around until no one knew which way was up.

He then added: "The Moonfall Precinct is coming by tomorrow to deliver supplies. You can talk with them then."

"I forgot about that," Kristin murmured.

"It's fine. We've all got a lot on our plates."

Charlie picked off a slice of her orange. "Think it's saying somethin' that none of us have even looked at the tv in, like, a long time."

xxxx

The Moonfall Precinct delivered the supply run shipment the following day. Rift Oberhofer helped unload the van, and Kristin was the first one out the door to greet the officers.

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"Hello," he said.

Ferris trailed a few steps behind him.

Ren stood on the lawn opposite the NYTE house, and they drills with the dogs. Morpheus and Pyxis followed a series of commands while Somnus lay in the shade beside the dogs' house. None of the dogs spared more than a glance at the Moonfall Precinct van, instead keeping their attention on Ren.

"Hello, Kristin," Rift replied. "We have brought food and other supplies based on what you have usually gotten in the past. Please let me know if we missed anything."

"I... I'll look th-through what you've-. You've brought." Zip slipped away and walked over to where a group of officers were helping unload the cars.

Boxes got stacked up and sorted— food, materials for Zip's workshop, gear for the dogs, miscellaneous items that would get sorted through later.

Ferris could see the question bubbling on Kristin's lips. What he wanted to ask but wasn't going to demand right off the bat. But he held it in and played along with Rift's questions, and Ferris could see it eating at him. Kristin wanted to know about Ashley, and so did Ferris.

"Let me know how much all of this cost and who paid, and I can transfer that amount to them," Ferris said, gesturing to the boxes.

Rift waved his hand. "No, no. It's already been paid for. Don't worry about any of it."

"Wait, hold up." Charlie descended the stairs from the NYTE house, buttoning up her jacket. She threw a ball back to Ren when it bounced into the courtyard. "Who paid?"

Rift shrugged. "I'm not sure. They wanted to remain anonymous."

Charlie froze, and she rolled her eyes.

"They think they're so smart, don't they? They think that'll change anything?" She started back toward the house. "I'll be back in a few. I need to write a carefully worded letter."

"Wait, Charlie," Rift asked slowly.

"Yeah?" Charlie turned around.

"Why did you name the disease Arkreyitis?"

Ferris stiffened and looked up, body still as he watched Charlie's reaction.

She had paused, expression carefully blank, but Ferris still saw the thousand emotions flicker across her face, far too fast to be able to tell them apart. Charlie narrowed her eyes, rocking back on her feet in a casual motion that was just slightly too robotic for someone who knew her but would look natural to someone like Rift.

"Slip of the tongue, I suppose," she said, voice falling into a drawl. "Mouth got ahead of my mind. Wish I could take it back, but doesn't work like that. No proof but doesn't make it right. Didn't mean it when I said that."

Ferris wondered how many times she had practiced those words in the mirror.

Rift hummed. "I'm not coming after you, so please don't take that question as me investigating you. I was merely curious."

"No, no, I don't think that." Charlie shook her head and shrugged. "It's a reasonable question. I said stuff without proof, and naming the disease after Arkreon is a pretty big dig at Leviathan Inc., even if it was accidental and I never meant it."

Ferris's heart sunk.

He had hoped that Charlie wouldn't take her mistake to heart, but he could hear the vein of steel in her voice, the beginnings of a tremble. He could see how she had taken several small steps away from Rift and how she held up her hands in a placating gesture that she passed off as a shrug. He could feel the prickle in his own body as her hackles started to rise and she donned defensive armor, a layer of protection like a cornered coyote— all teeth and claws, lashing out before damage can be done first.

"Anyway, I've got a letter to write, and it ain't gonna write itself. Nice seein' ya, Rift." Charlie wiggled her fingers in a farewell before disappearing back into the NYTE house.

Ferris watched the door for several moments after it had closed.

"How is the investigation into Ashley going?" Kristin asked.

"It's going well. We are continuing to look into the Trinity and possible leads, including information given to us by Felix Fisk. And we are looking through Ashley's journal. Larson wanted me to let you know how much he appreciates you bringing your brother's journal to us, Kristin." Rift offered a smile that Kristin did not return. "We hope that Ashley's journal will give us some insights into the identities of his killers and their motive."

"So what do you have?"

Rift exhaled slowly, keeping a pleasant, neutral expression. "I'm sorry, b-."

"But what?" Kristin growled. "But you can't tell me?"

"We will share as much as we can, but we need to ensure that when we catch the Trinity that we have a case that no defense can break."

"I get that. I really do. But I want to know what you're doing to catch my brother's killers. What do you have on Ashley Baok's case? Have you solved it yet? Do you know why he was killed? Do you know who the Trinity is? Can't you catch them? Ashley deserves justice." The words poured from Kristin.

Ferris couldn't blame him. He felt the same way, even if he wasn't as close to Ashley as Kristin was. He wanted the Trinity caught. He wanted them locked up forever. He wanted them to pay for what they had done, even though no real justice could ever be served.

Ashley could never be brought back to life. Neither could Alaska, and neither could any other victims currently unknown to officers.

"Listen," Rift said, voice softer. He chewed on his lip for a moment, thinking over his words. "I don't know what you're going through, and I won't pretend to know. But I lost my brother a few years ago. His name was Ridge. We lost him in a house fire. It hurts like hell, and I-."

"Is there something more to this than some I've lost someone too? I appreciate the sentiment, but I just want to hear about how you're going to find the Trinity and reveal their cowardly faces. I want them to rot in jail, completely forgotten while they wither away in their cells, lost in the dark like the monsters they are." Kristin's chest shook with a shaky breath.

Rift ducked his head. "I apologize. I was trying to explain that I can understand how much you want to find Ashley's killers. I do too, and I promise that I will not stop searching. I will do everything that I can to find the Trinity and hold them accountable."

"It's not that I don't believe you, but prove it. Don't keep telling me that you will, do it. Catch them. I don't want to see the last faces Ashley ever saw, but I will. I will look them each in the eye and tell them what they took from this world."

"We will not stop searching, Kristin. I am not foolish enough to say I want to arrest the Trinity as much as you do, but I want to get to the bottom of it all so we can arrest those responsible."

"Can't you tell me more?"

"I wish I could, but there are some things that I cannot say. There are some things only the killer would know, and those facts cannot get out."

"How close are you?" Ferris asked.

Rift didn't respond immediately. "We... it's hard to say. I'd like to say an arrest warrant is being written as we speak, but we are not there yet."

"The Trinity killed again. They killed Alaska Wendell March in Corville. Who knows if they have killed others? How much more does it take? Do more families need to get destroyed for you to catch these guys? For the Trinity to be taken off the streets?" Kristin's expression was pleading, filled with heartbreak and pain and grief that bled through like water dripping through cracked porcelain.

Ferris winced but held his reaction mostly inside. He didn't disagree with Kristin. At least two murders was at least two more than should've ever occurred. Until the Trinity was locked away, there was the terrifying but all-too real possibility of them killing again.

But he also knew that the Precinct's work of investigating a murder was tough and tedious. They needed to comb through every crime scene to make sure nothing was missed, needed to label and sort through every bit of evidence, needed to run tests on the evidence for DNA or fingerprints, needed to piece together what happened with the information they had to arrest the right person and make sure they had the right person.

But Ferris still just wanted answers.

He let Rift excuse himself when an officer called for him, and he let Kristin take a walk around camp to get away from everyone.

Ferris sat down on the steps of the NYTE house and watched a line of ants march through a patch of grass sprouting up from a crack in the concrete. He wished he could be like them— just going about his day with a singular mission in mind. No crushing worries of if a friend's killers would be caught, if answers would be gotten.

"Are you ok, Ferris?"

He looked up to see Ren staring at him. They stood patiently, awaiting a response.

"Oh, yeah. I'm, uh, I'm fine. Just tired and have a lot on my mind."

"You can go inside— Zip and I can deal with this."

"No, it's really no big deal." Ferris stood up, ready to help with the supply run shipment.

But Ren stopped him by holding their hand up. "Go inside, Ferris. I can take the lead on this."

"Bu-."

"Stop it. Go inside. Charlie needs you."

Ferris whirled around, then turned back to Ren.

They raised an eyebrow. "She hasn't come back outside. She's usually the last one to leave something like this."

Ren had a point.

"Yeah, that's odd. I'll go check on her. Let me know if you need anything, alright?"

Ren inclined their head. "I will."

xxxx

Ferris returned to his room, and just as he walked through the doorway, he took a quick step back.

Charlie sat curled up on his chair, shin braced against the desk, and she face was scrunched up in a look of disgust as she glowered at his computer screen.

Ren had been right— something was wrong. A bolt of guilt lanced through Ferris's sternum. He had known Charlie was upset, but he didn't even bother to stop in and check on her. He would have to find some way to apologize and make it up to her.

"What's going on, Springs?"

Why she was in his room and not her own Ferris didn't know, but he also didn't really care. She had some reason. That was enough.

Charlie moved the mouse around and then clicked a few times, scoffing. "Beverley and Richmond are at it again. Just told Did You Hear?! all about how they're supporting the Silverlight Forest Protection Unit. Claiming they're so proud their daughter's a part of it. The hell they think they're talkin' about? Beverley'd have a damn coronary if she found out what I do —did— in the SFPU." Charlie laughed, but there was nothing humorous about it. "They think suddenly supporting the place I work is gonna make me like them? They think it's gonna fix the years of them... of them-."

Charlie threw her head to the side, lip curling, and Ferris caught a glimpse of the shininess in her eyes.

"They think it's gonna fix everything, Dipper."

"I'm sorry." It was all Ferris could say. Because what could he really say? No words could make it all better. Nothing could erase the years of neglect and manipulation.

Charlie had never had someone who would be there for her as a child. Ferris didn't need to know all the details of her childhood to know that. The fraction he did know was enough.

She was told to go away when things were too much for her and she wasn't behaving.

When she cried, she was told to go to her room because big girls didn't cry.

In school she acted out because she wanted someone to notice her.

At home she would pick fights because she wanted her parents' attention.

But she would deal with her problems on her own, because that was what she had been taught to do. No one would listen when she needed help, so she learned to solve everything on her own. Fix her problems by herself, or ignore them until they went away.

Charlie was strong. She had been forced to show a strength Ferris couldn't begin to understand.

He wanted her to know that he wanted to see every side of her, not just the one she persona she pieced together for the world. He wanted to see the parts of herself she had been told were bad because they were parts of her.

"What can I do?" he asked.

Charlie stared at him, a depth in her watery eyes Ferris had rarely seen. He could see the conflict in her gaze— what she wanted and what she felt she should want.

"I don't know," she murmured.

"Ok," he responded, sitting down against the wall of his room. "I'm here for whatever you want or need."

They sat in silence. A prickly sort of quiet that was tense but not uncomfortable. Ferris stretched his legs out and tried not to make Charlie feel any sort of pressure. The last thing he wanted was to make her feel like she needed to do something she didn't want to. He wanted to help, but he had no idea how. He couldn't relate to what she was going through in the slightest. They were both trying to work through Ashley's murder, but Ferris had a great relationship with his parents. He couldn't understand what it was like growing up with parents who didn't do their job right. And that left him floundering. All he could say was that he was there and do what Charlie wanted of him, and he hoped it would be enough.

Ferris was snapped out of his thoughts by Charlie throwing a pillow across his lap and flopping down atop his legs. Her knees pressed into the side of his calf, and she wrapped an arm over his shins, fingers holding onto the seam of his pants.

"Push me away if you want, Dipper," she mumbled into the pillow.

"I'd never." Ferris placed a careful hand on her shoulder, and when she didn't flinch or move away, he gently ran his palm up and down her side. He tried not to be too stiff beneath her weight.

"Don't have to do this cuz you feel bad."

"I don't mind, Springs. Please, don't feel like you're forcing me into anything."

"I know," she whispered, voice nearly a whimper.

Charlie curled into his legs further, clinging to him tighter, and Ferris wished there was more he could do. He didn't know her pain, but he wanted to take it away. But he couldn't. All he could do was be there.

Ferris continued rubbing her back as Charlie took several deep breaths, exhaling slowly as she trembled.

But it wasn't enough. Charlie clawed at the side of his calf and buried her face in the pillow, hissing through her teeth in a choked sob.

"Why'd they have to show up? Why'd they have to reach out again? I thought I had escaped them. And then they show up right after I slip up and my tongue beat my brain and I said something without thinking and it got me in trouble. And they showed up right after that. Just with their what did we do wrong attitude of innocence and expectance. Why'd they come back, Dipper? Things were already enough with Ashley. Was trying not to let the pain from losing him get to me. And then they just show up the second I slip up. Why'd they have to come back? I didn't want them."

"I don't know," Ferris whispered. It was all he could say. He didn't know why Beverley and Richmond had shown up to Raconteur that day. He didn't know what had made them decide to seek out Charlie a year after she had run away.

"It's not enough, Dipper. It's not enough."

"What isn't?"

"I don't know. Everything is so much. And my skin. It's too tight." She sat up, raking her fingernails down her arm, and Ferris gently removed her hand before she could hurt herself further. Charlie didn't seem to notice. Ferris didn't know if that was better or worse.

He tried not to freeze too much when Charlie swung a leg over his and wrapped her arms around his sides, crumpling into him. Ferris held onto her, matching how she squeezed him in a bone-crushing embrace. She clung to him like she might get pulled away if she let go.

Charlie was taking what she needed, and if it offered her comfort, he would give it to her. This was something easy to offer. Ferris didn't mind physical contact or hugs.

"It was never your fault," he whispered. "I don't have to know everything you went through to know that for certain. It was never your fault, Charlie."

"But maybe..." her voice cracked, and her words trailed off into a choked inhale.

"You were a child."

"I know," Charlie eventually replied, turning her face into his neck as she tightened her grip. Ferris pulled her in a little closer. "I know it wasn't my fault, but my head likes to tell me it is. That maybe if I just did a little better on some assignment my parents would've been happy. That maybe if I got into the front row of the ballet recitals my parents would've told me I had done a good job. That maybe if I had just sucked it up and worn the dresses and makeup that the fights would've stopped."

Ferris didn't know what to say in reply. Because what could he say? No words could take back the years of actions Charlie's parents had made that drove her to feel how she did. He couldn't say anything that would take away her pain.

"I'm so sorry," was all he could say. "I'm here. You're not alone. I'm right here."

"I know," Charlie repeated.

"What can I do?"

"I don't know."

Ferris paused, trying to think of what she might want but wasn't asking for.

"Do you want to stay here for a while?"

Charlie was silent for a few minutes, and Ferris was just about to pull back and ask if she was ok with the hug. Even though she started it, she might have gotten uncomfortable.

"Sorry," she said.

"For what?" Ferris paused.

Charlie hooked her chin over his shoulder, and Ferris let himself get tugged back into the embrace before he could fully pull away. "I didn't respond," she murmured into his neck. "I didn't want to inconvenience you, but... I mean, hell. You're like the nicest guy out there. I know you wouldn't care if I wanted to sit on the floor in silence for like an hour. If that's what I needed in the moment, you'd happily sit there. But my damn brain likes to tell me it's gonna make people upset and they're only doing it out of pity or they want something out of it for their own self gain. Stupid brain just likes to get in the way. I know you don't care about that stuff. You just wanna be there and help. You're like Ashley— nice guys."

"Your brain kept you safe, didn't it? It kept you away from those fights? It got a read on people so you knew who to avoid?"

"How'd you know that?" Charlie grumbled in his ear.

"Educated guess, I suppose."

"Mr. Smarty Pants."

"At your service."

Charlie flicked him in the side, and Ferris felt her smile against his shoulder.

"Thanks for making me feel better," she said as she fell into him further.

"Of course. I'm always here." He ran his hand up and down her back.

"I miss Ashley. Doesn't feel real that we'll never see him again."

Ferris nodded even though Charlie couldn't see. It didn't feel real. He still half expected to see Ashley at the kitchen table in the morning or tinkering on a truck in the courtyard, just doing things around the camp. He still half expected to see Ashley arriving back from that last supply run.

"It doesn't feel right," he said. "It feels the same way as it does with my dads- I keep feeling like I'm going to see Ashley walk through the door and ask how everyone's doing."

Charlie hummed her agreement against his shoulder.

"Is this weird?" she asked.

"Is what weird?"

"You. Me. Us. Here?"

Realization dawned over Ferris. "Oh, ok. I don't think so. I suppose it's only weird if we make it weird."

"That a challenge, Dipper?" Ferris could hear the taunt in her voice.

Maybe she wasn't quite back to normal —whatever that looked like in the wake of Ashley's murder and the return of her parents— but she had calmed down, and Ferris was grateful she felt she could find comfort in him.

"Do you want it to be one?"

"Nah, not really," Charlie murmured. "Too tired, so I'll let you off the hook. But only this time."

"I wouldn't expect anything less from you, Springs."