"Can't you get them out of here?" pleaded Piccolo, still attempting to sound as gruff as possible.

Hermione found a spot on the wall next to her friend and leaned up against it.

"No, I can't. They're not under my jurisdiction. Sorry."

"What even is a glee club, anyway?"

"It's a group of people that get together and sing."

"So, like a choir?"

"But exponentially more annoying."

Nonon swung her baton about, barking orders.

"The risers will be over THERE, Inamuta. No, to your LEFT! GAMAGORI! Be careful with that piano!"

"I AM BEING CAREFUL WITH THIS PIANO!" roared the huge boy, removing the instrument from his shoulders and setting it on the floor gently.

"Not there, you toad!" the pink-haired girl howled. "Over HERE!"

"They really are more annoying," whispered the Namekian.

Inamuta tapped a few buttons on the tablet he had sewed into his uniform's sleeve.

"That should be everything. And just in time, too. The potential members who signed up should be arriving-"

"BAWITDABA DA BANG A DANG DIGGY DIGGY, DIGGY SAID THE BOOGIE, SAID UP JUMP THE BOOGIE!"

Miku skipped into the room, producing her own accompanying guitar and drum track. Elsa followed just behind her, hands clapped over her ears.

"Absolutely repulsive!" she moaned. Miku instantly stopped singing and pirouetted on a tip-toe to face Elsa.

"Would you prefer I sing something else?" she asked politely.

"If you must," sighed Elsa, removing her hands from her ears, "then something a little more pleasant."

Miku inhaled, performed a few more revolutions on her toe, and began again.

"Snow glows white on the mountain tonigh-"

Elsa clenched a hand over the vocaloid's mouth.

"If you sing another word of that song, I am going to freeze your tongue and snap it right off."

"Understood!" giggled Miku, who hopped away humming the song instead.

"I swear, she'd be better off used for spare parts!" fumed Elsa.

"Is that so, Trans-Dimensional Analyst Elsa Arendelle?"

Elsa froze in place (metaphorically) as Rei Two walked up alongside her.

"N-no… that comment was in jest."

"Good. Every member of the Illuminati is to be respected for what they can bring to our organization."

"Y…yes, ma'am," stuttered Elsa.

Rei Two was trailed by a pair of Rei clones, who were as silent and blank-looking as usual. After them, four small horses trotted through the door, discussing something amongst themselves excitedly.

"Everything is simply wonderful," sighed Fluttershy. "The animals are all just so friendly."

Applejack scratched her mane. "But I thought you was workin' in the Menagerie. Ain't it full of scary aliens?"

"I like to think of them as friendly woodland creatures," said Fluttershy softly.

"I don't think any of them lived in the forest, though," Applejack replied.

"The forests were different where they came from."

"Well, how 'bout you, Rarity? How's the work in Outfittin' holding up?"

"It seems fine. I mean, the work is interesting. I've never done a full line of uniforms before. But I do have some concerns about how things are being run."

"Like what?" squealed Pinkie Pie. "Not enough SEQUINS?"

"No, no. Nothing like that. First they tell us that an executive decision has been made to use trace amounts of Life Fiber- and the stuff is just awful! You have to wear these special gloves over your hooves, and a mask… otherwise- well, they didn't tell me! They just said it would be dangerous!"

"Sewing? Dangerous?" pondered Applejack. "Well, I tried my hoof at it once, and I kept poking myself with the needles, so that doesn't seem hard to believe."

Rarity gave her friend a scowl and shook her head. "No, it's more serious than that- and that isn't even the worst part! They said they needed to add a staff member in order to manage Life Fiber use, and so they brought this lady in prison garb! With armed guards! Terribly suspicious, even if she has nice hair."

"Welp, me and Pinkie Pie have been working our flanks off in the kitchen. Been a lot of fun. With the tools they've got down there, you can cook up anythin' yer heart desires! Apple pies, apple tarts, apple dumplings, apple sauce, apple fritters, apple cake, apple-"

"AND LOTS AND LOTS OF SUGAR!" squealed Pinkie Pie, bouncing away.

"That's everyone," noted Nonon, looking out over the potential members.

"No, we're still missing one Protoman," said Hoka, looking down at his tablet.

"Protoman?"

"Hey, I'm Protoman," called the figure rushing through the door. He was short and stocky, wearing massive boots, a yellow bandana around his neck, and a darkly-tinted visor. "Have you guys seen Bass?"

"Bass?" asked Nonon, scrunching up her nose.

"He's not on the list," Hoka told the new arrival.

"Aw, man. He told me he was going to sign up. You see, we're getting the band back together. We're on a mission from God."

"Yeah. Sure you are," grunted Sanageyama, patting the squat man on the helmet.

"Listen up, people!" shouted Nonon, tapping her baton against the music stand she stood behind. "We need to figure out everyone's section. If you know what your section is, raise your hand when I call it out! Soprano!"

A vast majority of the gathered members raised their hands.

"Alto!"

Rarity and Applejack lifted a hoof.

Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon.

"Tenor!"

"I'm a tenor," declared Protoman.

"Then you're with Hoka and I," said Sanageyama begrudgingly.

"Bass!"

"He's here?" gasped Protoman.

"No, the section, you dolt," snarled Nonon.

"Oh," sighed the Robot Master.

"I, IRA GAMAGORI, SING BASS!" bellowed Ira.

"So that's it? We only have one bass? What a disappointment."

Nonon's disappointment was interrupted by a knock on the open door.

"Is this where the glee club is meeting?"

"That voice," whispered Nonon, eyes distant. "It's a low baritone!"

"Yes, this is where the glee club is meeting," replied Rei Two.

A short, black hedgehog stepped through the door, carrying a clipboard and a pen.

"Good. I've got some paperwork here for you to sign."

"You little tease!" screamed Nonon. "I already filled out a half-ton of paperwork for Suzumiya!"

The hedgehog shook his head slowly, wagging a finger. "Psssh… but nothing for Personnel, kid."

Miku pushed Applejack forward. "Well, excuse me, sir, but um, if you don't mind us askin'… can you sing?"

"Yeah, I can sing. It's been a long while since I did, but I can."

"What she's trying to say is CAN YOU SING WITH US?!" hollered Pinkie, appearing from thin air behind the hedgehog.

"Hmph," he grunted, setting his clipboard down. "I'll make you a deal. You fill out this paperwork, and I'll consider it. As long as you're not singing any damn Journey."

"We were… not planning on singing any Journey! None at all!" chuckled Nonon nervously. "Can I get your name, sir?"

"Shadow the Hedgehog. Now get on that paperwork."

"Fine. I will," Nonon snorted. "Hoka! Get on that paperwork!"

***

Gendo opened the door slowly, sticking his head out and looking up and down the hallways. The woman grabbed him by the chin and shook his head mockingly.

"You honestly didn't think I already checked that it was clear? Silly little Gendo."

He pulled himself out of her grip and opened the door, placing a gloved hand on his chin to rearrange his neatly trimmed beard. She entered the darkly-lit room, slowly moving her gaze from tank to tank of Rei clones in varying states of completion, all floating in bubbling LCL.

"Quite the place you've got here," she said slowly.

"Can't stand it," shuddered Opal in her folding chair, clutching her chocolate bar closely. "They're all staring at me."

"Eat your candy, weakling. Those who cannot tolerate that which is unpleasant in their quest for power do not deserve that power."

"Or we could use that power to make things a little more pleasant," Opal protested.

"Ladies, please," said Gendo softly. "The layout and setup of my department is meant to mimic the environment I used in the production of the Rei clones during my work for NERV. It is entirely functional."

"Functionally creepy," hissed the pixie under her breath.

Gendo walked past them to a sliding door at the end of the room. "If you two would follow me, the project is this way." The pixie and the woman obliged and followed Gendo through the sliding doors into another room. This one featured brighter lighting and individual tanks for each Rei clone. The clones themselves were different from the other room, as well- they were expressing an incredible amount of individuality for something that was a clone. Certain ones were taller, others were shorter, some had different hair and eye colors. There were also a few that did not look like Rei at all, and an even smaller handful that bore little resemblance to a human being.

"What is this place?" asked Opal, finding herself much less interested in eating her candy bar. "Where you put the mistakes?"

Gendo stopped and turned suddenly, glaring down at the pixie.

"I do not make mistakes. These are experiments."

"Oh you are an evil bastard, aren't you?"

"Silence, worm," said the woman. "Where is she, Gendo?"

"Over here," he said, crossing the room to a tank covered by what seemed to be a recycled bedsheet. He removed a series of magnet clips along one side and pulled the sheet back, allowing the woman to gaze directly into the tank.

"So far she has matured well. By my current estimates, she will be completely operational in forty-eight hours," said the man, pushing his glasses up by the bridge. "I had to take a few liberties with the resources I had at hand, but I think you will find the results satisfactory."

"She's beautiful," whispered the woman in reply.

"She's blonde and smiling," grunted Opal. "Not even alive yet, and she's already an idiot."

The woman turned to Opal with a wicked grin. "I would kill you on the spot for saying that. But in two days' time, she can make her own judgment on you."

A choking, gulping sound escaped Opal's throat.

"I trust everything is to your liking, Mrs. Kiryuin?" asked Gendo.

"Wonderful, Mr. Ikari," she smiled.

"I will send Rei One to notify you as soon as this…" he checked a sticky note placed on the side of the tank. "… Nui Harime is complete."

"Do that. Then we will discuss how to move our agenda ahead," said the woman, turning away and bathing the room in the thousands of colors streaming out of her hair.

"What a freak," observed Opal accurately.