"Oh! I wasn't expecting a visit," said the bearded man behind the door.
"Neither were we," grumbled Nonon.
"Shut up, Jakuzure," hissed Inumuta.
Hermione brushed her colleagues aside and stepped up to the door, shaking the man's hand.
"We're with Regulations, and we're here for an inspection. It won't take long, I promise."
"Then, you can come in, I suppose," said Mr. Ikari, opening the door further. The quintet entered a dark room lit by the dim orange glow of the wrap-around tanks in the walls. Floating in each one were uncountable Rei clones, their pale bodies reflecting the orange light, their red eyes staring out at them pathetically.
"Whoa, that's creepy," whispered Sanageyama.
"Say what you may about the process, but without Rei the ship would be dead in the water, as it were." Gendo's voice betrayed only the slightest hint of offense.
"Well, I think it's fascinating," said Hermione with genuine-sounding sincerity. "How does it work?"
The man looked stunned. "You… really want to know?"
"Certainly. Knowledge is power, and all that."
Gendo used a gloved hand to push his glasses up by the bridge. "I'd be happy to show you."
He led them to a door that opened as he stepped in front of it, leading into another room. Unlike the first, it was very well-lit, revealing row after row of hospital beds and fold-out nightstands. On a few of the beds lay Rei clones, either reading heavy-looking books, sleeping, or staring aimlessly at the ceiling. In the center of the room stood a very concerning-looking black obelisk, with an unusual emblem seemingly carved out of the material in its center. The emblem immediately brought to mind a skull, but it was like no skull Hermione had ever seen. It was almost completely round at the top, where the cranium might be, and it extended downwards in a long, thin, triangular beak. Its only other feature were two perfectly circular, perfectly blank eye sockets. It was not a pleasant-looking thing, and Hermione was quite certain it would be visiting her in a wide variety of disturbing dreams very soon. Gendo did not seem as disturbed by the device, as evidenced by him picking a spot on the floor to stand and address them immediately adjacent to it.
"Miss Ayanami may seem like a fairly normal girl on the exterior-"
Nonon suppressed a giggle. Gendo suppressed a snarl. He then continued.
"But she is in reality much more than that. She is a vessel for the soul of Lilith, the Second Angel. Under NERV, only one Rei was ever active at a time. But with the resources here, Number Two and I came up with a brilliant solution. Lilith, as an Angel, was an impossibly powerful being. In fact, it was powerful enough that its very existence had the ability to permeate an infinite number of dimensions."
Hermione's eyes widened.
"But that'd be on par with-"
"A Great Old One? That is correct. Rei and I were able to work that omnipresence to our advantage by using this," he placed a hand on the terrifying structure. "The Angel Drive."
"I've done just a little reading on the Angels," said Hermione, with a nervous grin. "So forgive me for assuming- that's an S2 engine?"
"It doesn't look like any sort of engine I've ever seen," observed Hoka.
"It is," replied Gendo to Hermione. "And that's because it's not quite an engine," he explained to Inumuta. "The S2 engine is actually an organ possessed by most Angels. It is the source of their phenomenal power. In the Angel Drive, it runs a complex network of inter-dimensional exchanges."
Hermione's old eyes lit up with an enthusiasm they had not seen in a long time. "So using the power of the S2 engine, you've been able to pull souls of Lilith out of alternate dimensions to populate the vessels of multiple active Rei clones. Amazing!"
"I'm surprised you were able to deduce that, Mrs. Granger," said Gendo behind raised eyebrows. "You really are a prodigy."
"Oh, I'm certain I'm on the dumber side of the founders," blushed Hermione. "I'm as smart as I am because I've put time and effort into it. Guys like Artemis or Dexter… they're on another level."
Gendo waved her response off with his hand. "You underestimate yourself, Mrs. Granger. And I'm certain that your maturity gives you a few advantages over them as well."
"Every once in a while I think that some of the decisions are…" Hermione paused, and shook her head. "We're getting off-topic. Very off-topic. We're here for an inspection."
"Of course," sighed Gendo. The investigators spread out through the room, pretending to casually observe the room as a disgruntled inspector might, while carefully processing the details as a disgruntled private eye might. It turned out that being a gumshoe was harder than it sounded on paper. The room seemed to be fulfilling its purpose normally. There were no signs of tampering or anything out of the ordinary. Even if something was awry, none of the Reis would be of any use, as talking to them was about as productive as asking vending machines for refunds.
Perhaps Gendo isn't up to anything at all. Perhaps this is one of Artemis' schemes. Maybe Gendo got on his bad side, and we're his show of force. Or perhaps he wants a normal inspection done properly and used the investigation as a ruse to heighten our perceptiveness. Or maybe-
"WHAT IS THIS?" roared Gamagori, causing the sleeping Reis to bolt upright in surprise. Gamagori stood in front of a sliding door that was certainly not the one they had entered through.
"That's the experimental wing," said Gendo, sounding a little concerned. "You shouldn't go in there." After saying that, he furled his lips in an awkward manner.
"Shouldn't go in there?" Hermione repeated severely. "Our job is to inspect your entire operation. Why shouldn't we go in there?"
"I… um… I mean," he stammered. "It's just… if you thought the holding room was creepy, you will like that less."
"Nobody said we liked this job," snapped Nonon. "You're taking us in there."
"O-of course," smiled the man weakly. He walked over to the door and it opened for him.
He must have some sort of receiver on him, Hermione noted. I wonder if there are other doors that can only be unlocked when he's around.
Gendo led the group into the room, which was as well-lit as the one they had been in before. Hermione decided that she would rather it had been a bit darker. Individual tanks lined the walls, each one holding a single Rei. These, however, were no clones. The alterations from Rei to Rei were sometimes as simple as a different eye color, and sometimes as horrifying as a few extra appendages. One of the Reis bore the skull-like emblem from the Angel Drive for a face.
"Nonon, I blame you for any nightmares I'm having tonight," quipped Inumuta.
"Jeez… it's like a freakshow in here," Sanageyama muttered.
Hermione turned to an increasingly-nervous-looking Gendo.
"Mr. Ikari, how much of this is... on-the-books?"
"All of it, I assure you," he replied, wiping the back of his glove across his forehead. "Research and Development sends me ideas for… prototypes. They're always tinkering… they always want to see if they can do something better."
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"And you just plug the numbers in and see what happens…" whispered Hermione, slowly being consumed by the horrific sights. Her eyes were drawn across the room against her will, encountering hideous abominations that would in no universe be called human without dishonesty. As she moved from one Rei to the next, she felt her stomach churn and force something upward. Carefully-timed breaths held it down temporarily, but could not keep it there for long. She was about to wretch when she arrived at a tube that was different from all of the others. It seemed to have a bedsheet drawn over it.
Hermione swallowed hard. "Shouldn't a lot more of these have sheets over them?"
"Listen, you're not feeling well," said Gendo, rushing to her side. He wrapped an arm around her shoulder, but the sudden movement was too much for the witch to handle. She pulled herself away and heaved the contents of her breakfast onto the floor. She was about to wipe her mouth off when another liquid splattered on the floor caught her eye.
"Oh my goodness," cried Gendo. "I'm sorry, Mrs. Granger. Really, I am. I'll clean that up right away."
Hermione picked herself up off the floor and made a brief attempt to pull herself back together.
"Yes… thank you," she mumbled, pulling a sleeve across her mouth before returning to her previous demeanor. "So why does this one have a sheet over it?"
"It's… being serviced."
"Well, I think we ought to inspect the repairs."
Hermione snagged the edge of the sheet and pulled it off. The Elite Four rushed to her side.
"It's empty," noted Sanageyama, stating the obvious.
It was indeed empty. The tank was stark white compared to the other ones' gentle orange glow, though a few small rivulets of LCL dripped down the glass.
"It's empty because it's being serviced," grunted Gendo.
"What was wrong with it?" Hoka asked.
"Current distributor," replied the man.
Nonon frowned and placed her hands on her hips.
"There's nothing here, Curly. Can we get going?"
Hermione frowned at the girl, then nodded. "I think we've seen all there is to see," she sighed. "Thank you for your time, Mr. Ikari."
The man nodded, and the five Regulations officers made their way out of his offices as quickly as they could. Hermione took a gulp of air as she stepped back into the ship's corridor and began to walk towards Research and Development's facilities.
"That was a waste," grumbled Nonon.
Hoka shook his head. "I learned about how the Reis were made. I wouldn't say it was a total waste."
"I, IRA GAMAGORI, FOUND THE WHOLE THING UNPLEASANT!"
"Never before have I wanted to get out of a room filled with naked chicks that badly," muttered Sanageyama.
"Ikari was clearly hiding something. I wouldn't call that a waste," said Hermione.
Nonon shrugged. "But how are we supposed to find out what he was hiding? He's got a whole room full of suspicious stuff."
"And clearly some of it was more suspicious than others," the witch noted. "Let's look at the facts."
"Oh boy," cheered Sanageyama unenthusiastically.
"Gendo claims that all of the experimental projects have been authorized. One tank is empty and covered by a sheet."
"He said it was broken," scowled Nonon. "So what's wrong with that?"
"For starters, why would you hang a sheet over the tank if it's broken?"
"If the glass was shattered, you wouldn't want it to go over the floor…" whispered Sanageyama, realizing the problem as he spoke.
Hermione lifted a finger. "But the glass wasn't shattered, was it?"
"Maybe the guy doesn't like to look at problems," offered Nonon.
"But that would imply that there actually was a problem to begin with," said Hoka, zipping his uniform up past his mouth.
"HE SAID THE CURRENT DISTRIBUTOR WAS BROKEN," shouted Gamagori.
"But there's evidence to the contrary," replied Hermione. "Let's think this through. What is the tank normally full of?"
"That orange stuff," recalled Sanageyama. "LCL."
"Exactly. LCL is orange."
Nonon glared at her superior. "What are you trying to get at?"
Hermione smiled. "When you run a current through LCL, it becomes clear in color and its viscosity is greatly reduced… you can essentially breathe it like air."
"Right," Nonon snapped back. "And that tank was broken."
"So if it was working, what color should the LCL in it be?"
"Clear."
Hermione stopped, and her colleagues halted with her.
"Now… what color was the LCL in all of the other tanks?"
Nonon's eyes widened. "…Orange."
Hoka unzipped his uniform back past his mouth. "Then we can assume that the normal operation of those tanks involves no current at all."
Hermione nodded. "None of the other tanks were operating with charged LCL, which is only used in cases where a conscious subject must be immersed in LCL, in order for them to breathe. None of the Reis in the tanks were conscious, and were therefore kept suspended in the inactive LCL… which means that the current distributor being broken is a lie."
"So the sheet's real purpose was to hide whatever was in that tank," gasped Sanageyama.
"But what if it was empty?" asked Nonon.
Hermione's confident grin faded. "You are really dedicated to playing Devil's Advocate, don't you?"
"Who said anything about playing?" replied the pink-haired girl smugly.
"Oh, God, you're serious."
"We can't make an assumption unless we've ruled out all of the possibilities," noted Hoka. "For once, Jakuzure's contrary nature might be useful."
"You keep on yapping, like one of those annoying little dogs," hissed Nonon. "The tank could have been empty beforehand. What if they just hadn't put a Rei in it yet?"
"There were drops of LCL on the inside of the tank," countered Hermione.
Nonon already had a rebuttal. "He could have just filled the tank with LCL and no Rei. That would have left drops all the same."
Hermione looked up at the ceiling and paced in a little circle. Nonon's conclusion was logical… but there was once piece of evidence that she didn't have.
"You didn't puke on the floor," Hermione said aloud.
"And that means I'm a step ahead of you, Curly," snarled Nonon venomously.
"No, it means that you didn't see what I did. There was LCL on the floor in front of that tank and trailing around the room. The tank wasn't empty and it wasn't just full of LCL. Something alive was in there and it left at some point."
"And there we have it. Let's go to Research and Development," chirped Nonon, starting off down the hallway. Hermione's jaw dropped in astonishment.
"Wait, you're just going to walk away?!"
"Well, what else are we supposed to do?" asked Inumuta. "We weren't told to arrest Gendo, and even if we were bringing him in for questioning wouldn't get us anywhere. We've found out all we can, and we'll report it back to Lady Satsuki after we complete the second half of our mission."
"Of course," groaned Hermione, taking point of the group as they continued walking. "Errand running."