"Is that popcorn?" asked Holly.
"Yes, it is," confirmed Twilight, slightly adjusting the dimness of the can lights along the ceiling.
The group found itself seated in what appeared to be an absolutely normal movie theater, with a small podium set up in front of the screen where Twilight Sparkle sat.
"What's going on?" groaned Mikasa, only just coming to. "Why is it so dark?"
"Are we watching a movie?" wondered Ruby aloud, shifting in her seat. "Are there going to be EXPLOSIONS?!"
"I am sick and tired of getting teleported everywhere," growled Ryuko. "It's too damn disorienting."
"Ah, but we didn't teleport anywhere," explained the alicorn, fluttering her wings. "Allow me to elaborate."
"You see, I had to keep a few secrets from all of you in the beginning. I'll admit, I had to tell a few lies. But I couldn't just explain everything when prying ears were listening. I learned enough about you all to know that if I kept you in the dark just enough, you'd get tired and demand answers. And thanks to the nature of the Grand Combat, you would probably get those answers out of me by force. As I already explained to some of you, I needed that to happen to be able to harness the Residual Magical Genesis Field and break through the Limit to achieve my Alicorn form."
"What is this Limit of which you speak?" asked Adam with raised hand.
"I'll get there," promised Twilight Sparkle.
"What I'm about to tell you, I can't let the Master of Games hear. I had to be at my most powerful in order to create this, which is an isolated pocket dimension."
Kamina looked around worriedly. "Okay, this is getting weird. I was just in this for the chicks, not a lecture." Simon elbowed him in the gut and motioned for him to keep quiet.
"A pocket dimension movie theater?" questioned Holly with a bit of disbelief.
"Well, if it works," shrugged Katniss.
"Twilight Sparkle's full power allows her to manipulate space itself," added Hermione from her seat at the back of the room. "She can do a lot of other interesting things at full strength."
"That's right," smiled the alicorn. "I'm not going to be able to sustain this for long, though, so please keep that in mind throughout the presentation." She took a moment to clear her throat before continuing.
"Now that I've explained why I have chosen these methods, I need to get straight to the heavy stuff. As you're all now aware, there are multitudes of alternate universes and dimensions out there, and most of you all hail from different ones. That is the natural order of things, for you to be in your native reality. However, some time ago, a few individuals became aware of the existence of these other realities. They joined forces in order to maintain the balance of all possible realities, which we came to dub the metaverse. The organization was named the Illuminati Brotherhood, after an ancient group who sought to influence their world from the shadows. I am an honored member of the Illuminati, as is Mrs. Granger. Normally, our numbers are quite small, with fewer than one hundred members at any one time. But in light of this recent crisis, we have significantly bolstered our ranks."
"The crisis being the Grand Combat, right?" the elf asked.
"Exactly. It should come as no surprise to all of you that the Grand Combat is a far more sinister affair than it first appears. After all, how can the Master of Games summon you from your own dimensions, if we have established that this is not something that occurs naturally? The answer is that the Master of Games is not the being he wants you to think he is. He is Hastur the Unspeakable, a Great Old One- a being from the space between dimensions, of power so vast that attempting to comprehend even his true physical form can drive the untrained to complete insanity."
"Oooh, spooky!" giggled Ruby. "I bet the explosions come next!"
Twilight ignored her and continued.
"The actions of the Great Old Ones are so difficult to detect and observe, that this is the first cosmic event that we have been able to respond to, if only because of its massive scale. It started millennia ago- mere days by measurement of beings so ancient- with a battle between Hastur and his brother Cthulhu."
Cthulhu. That's the name from that… dream, or whatever, when this had just begun, thought Holly. So that's the connection.
"While we identify them as near-equals, it is important to know that the capabilities of these two beings could not be more different. From what we currently understand, Hastur possessed more reality-altering abilities, while Cthulhu's specialty seemed to be in more subtle manipulation of minds. For all of his raw power, Hastur was defeated by his brother's less overt methods, and was left to die. Or whatever cosmic beings like that do- we're not quite sure yet; perhaps it is not our place to know. What we do know is that Hastur was not quite dead, and used what little power he had left to create what we currently identify as the Nexus of Carcosa- the location of the Grand Combat. His plan is simple- he will feed on the negative energies of your conflicts to restore himself."
"And we're going to stop him?" asked Katniss.
Twilight shook her head. "No. Doing so would be too dangerous. The Illuminati may be powerful, but we are not powerful enough to challenge him directly. Our plan is ultimately to get you back home."
"There's no way he's just going to let us go," said Holly.
"You are correct," admitted the alicorn. "and we are still working on that. This rescue is a long ways off. And there have been a few complications to the plan."
"Complications?" moaned Ryuko, who had never been a fan of complications.
"Yes- as we mentioned earlier, Carcosa features something called the Limit. Think of it as a sort of passive magical barrier that prevents most warriors from achieving a certain level of power. It does not seem to restrict gains in physical strength, but it does impede access to forms that have reality-altering abilities, such as my alicorn body. This makes traveling in and out of the Nexus of Carcosa in order to coordinate the efforts of the Illuminati more difficult for me, as I'm their inside pony. I've been catching rides with Mr. Alucard to make up for it. We have begun to resolve this issue with the versatile AEGIS system, a compact space-time transit device. You saw Hermione use hers to arrive here."
"As we move into the further phases of our plan, we're going to be making more and more incursions into Carcosa," added Hermione. "We need to study it for weak points, and we need to catalogue everyone here into our dossiers. Expect to be seeing more of us. And stay out of our way, if possible."
Holly raised her hand, and Twilight gave her the floor. "Would now be a good time to tell me what that thing I threw up was?"
"That is another one of our complications," said Twilight uneasily. "For reasons beyond our current understanding, Hastur brought Cthulhu into Carcosa. How he was able to achieve this in his weakened state or what his motivation was is uncertain. However, in order to be able to achieve this, he had to condense Cthulhu down, and he seemed to pick you at random-"
"So that was Cthulhu? And it looks like me now?"
"Yes. It might be the largest wrench in our works. We have no idea what it wants or what exactly it will do, but we can be certain it will have little concern for the importance of our mission or the safety of others around it. If it interferes with our plans, it may throw our entire operation into ruin. Avoid it at any cost."
"That helps a lot," muttered the elf sarcastically.
"Unfortunately, it's all I can tell you. And that about brings you all up to speed. I don't have long left, so can I get any questions before I have to collapse this pocket dimension?"
"What are we supposed to do?" asked Katniss.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, what are we supposed to do between now and whenever you bust us out of here?"
"Play along," sighed Twilight. "Keep doing what you're doing. Making more allies is possible, but you'll have to keep this secret from them the same way I withheld it from you. You never know who could be working for the Master of Games. Just move forward with caution… that's about all I can tell you."
Katniss gave a mournful chuckle. "Playing along. At least I'm used to that."
"Any other questions? Last chance."
No one raised their hand.
"Okay, I'm going to send you back now. I'll join you shortly."
Twilight's horn glowed again, and the warriors disappeared. Only Hermione was left in the room.
"How was that?" asked the alicorn. "Did I do okay?"
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"You did. You gave them enough to feel satisfied, and left the bits they shouldn't know yet out."
"Good, good," exhaled a relieved Twilight. "And you're back to the way you were before, aren't you?"
"The ideas that go through Artemis' head sometimes," sighed Hermione. "I think I'll stick with being a grumpy old hag. My childhood wasn't exactly an ideal one to relive."
"I need to collapse this so you can get back."
"Right-o, then. I'll see you later."
The fighters arrived in the exact same location from which they left, just down the road from the Second Street Ballrooms.
"Well, I never want to be that elf, but… I told you so!" sneered Holly.
"We agreed to help you out," said Katniss. "It's not like we doubted you that much."
"I feel jipped," pouted Ruby. "There wasn't even a movie at all! She was just TALKING the whole time! And there weren't any explosions like she promised!"
"I do not think she promised any explosions, Ruby," Adam pointed out.
Twilight and Hermione appeared in a flash of light, but Hermione activated her AEGIS as soon as she was on solid ground, bringing her protracted visit to an abrupt end. The alicorn sauntered over to her once-again-friends as her wings dissolved away into ethereal lavender feathers, drifting upward like released balloons.
"Good to have you back," chuckled the elf, ruffling Twilight's mane.
"I think that's my line," she whinnied. Everyone had a good laugh about that one. "Now, I believe there are two VIWs left to snag."
Holly nodded. "… Because no time has passed since we left. All right, let's go score us some-"
"The Eighth Street Foundry VIW has been defeated. One remains," announced Deep Thought.
"D'Arvit," the elf cursed. "Well, we can go for the last-"
"The Forty-Ninth Street Insurance Office VIW has been defeated. No targets remain."
The tinny sing-song of GLaDOS cut in. "Congratulations to team Night Terror for destroying a majority of the targets. I had no idea that you meatbags could be so efficient."
"We lost," breathed Katniss. "After winning everything else… we lost."
"And we had that streak for a reason, we worked together. Now we split up, and this happens," pondered Holly.
Adam shook his head. "We are not entirely at fault for our loss."
"Whaddya mean?" asked Ryuko. "We were a mess. You saw it. We did pretty much everything besides accomplish our goal."
"The team that won," explained Adam, "took out two targets in unnaturally rapid succession. They must be exceptionally powerful."
"Or well coordinated," suggested Holly.
"Or both," Ruby added.
"If that's the case, we'll have to be on top of our game next time if we want to beat them," said Twilight.
"Heh," sighed Holly. "After all of that intrigue, it's just back to smashing stuff harder."
The weary team enjoyed one last laugh before they sunk into the ground and returned to the common hall, which never would feel quite the same again.
***
Hermione warped in on the ship's bridge, surprised to find it nearly empty. A solitary Rei Ayanami sat behind a display console, typing a few notes into a data log. The witch scurried over as quickly as she could, acutely aware that she looked much sillier sprinting around as an adult than a child.
"Excuse me," she said. "Where is everyone?"
The girl turned, and Hermione instantly spotted the 'II' pinned to the front of her uniform.
"Everyone is down in the engine room, Mrs. Granger." replied Number Two. "We are about to go underway. I am almost finished here. I have the coordinates."
"Oh, that's very- thank you," Hermione whispered. "Listen, I'm sorry about what I said earlier."
"I realize my demeanor may not be the most social. I apologize for any inconvenience I may have caused due to my lack of 'suave'."
"No, no!" cried the witch, suddenly wrapping the girl in a hug. "Don't you tell yourself that! I was wrong to say what I did. It takes all sorts to keep us going- young and old, friendly and grumpy, quiet and noisy. It's not my place to make an insult like that. So I'm the one who's apologizing, and that's final."
"Mrs. Granger, I cannot reach my AEGIS if you continue to hold me so."
"Oh- right- sorry," said the woman, releasing Rei to plug in their destination.
They arrived on a stage that had been assembled in front of the ship's central engine regulator. Several other high-rankers surrounded them- The Doctor, Chief Program Coordinator Suzumiya, the heads of Research and Development and Engineering, and Captain Littner stood next to Chief of Regulations Kiryuin with a particularly hostile glare. The cavernous room was filled to the brim with nearly everyone who could claim to work for the Illuminati- TDAs, scientists, and kitchen staff were all gathered together in anticipation, though for what Hermione was not exactly sure.
"Ah, Mrs. Granger," said Artemis, working his way around the stage to shake her hand. "I just took a look at the report from your last incursion. I need to speak with you in my office privately after this is over."
"Yes, sir," saluted the witch, who was beginning to realize that her custom-made training robes were quite ill-fitting now.
A lecture on my failure, I'm sure. Though with Artemis, who knows. Maybe he'll be dosing me up with gamma rays.
He turned to address the crowd, tapping something on the lapel of his suit that must have been a microphone.
"I will keep this short, because we all have very important jobs to return to. It is my honor to guide this organization as we set out to preserve the safety of the metaverse. The cornerstone of our success is this, our new base of operations, the Cathedral Cosmos."
A round of applause rose from the crowd.
"I feel that there is no one better to command our vessel than our very own Captain Yoko Littner. Let us give her a warm welcome."
Another surge of applause, some wild and peppered with cat-calls, much of it restrained. Yoko stepped forward, bowing, which caused a few more excited whistles to rise from the crowd.
"Thanks, Artemis. It's great to have command of a ship like this, with all of you smiling faces working under me. It's a dream come true, I really mean it. Except the parking."
A few hearty laughs were quickly suffocated by the silence of the Reis. After Yoko's attempt at comedy had been completely stifled, she continued.
"But like Artemis said, you've got jobs to get back to so I won't keep you much longer. Core Drill, please," she said, holding out her hand. Chief of Engineering Dexter pushed a few of the taller officials out of the way and scrambled over to Yoko, handing her a small object on a chain. Yoko held it up in front of the crowd.
"Thanks to the geniuses we've got working for us, we were able to grab a chunk of solid Spiral Energy and synthesize it into a Core Drill, which is all we need to reach 100% operational capacity."
Well, that all makes sense now, thought Hermione. Would a little transparency have hurt?
"Okay, I'm going to need everyone to listen up here!" shouted Yoko, the microphone enhancing her raised voice. "We're all going to need to be fired up for this to work! Can I get a YEAH?"
Half of the audience shouted "YEAH!" in return, while the Reis whispered their response.
"You can do better than that, come on!" roared their captain. "Can I hear that, but LOUDER?!"
"I was not aware that this was going to be a pep rally," whispered Rei Two.
"Only now are things not turning up how you expected?" giggled Hermione back. "You've had it lucky."
"YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" screamed Yoko alongside her subordinates. "Okay, that's good. Now you're going to have to do that, and say, 'Cathedral Cosmos, Spin On'! You got that?"
Another YEAH was her response. She grabbed the Core Drill by its tiny handle and thrust her index finger as high in the air as she could.
"You see this? This is the drill… that's gonna save the heavens! CATHEDRAL COSMOS, SPIN ON!"
With the mighty bellow of the audience behind her, Yoko drove the drill's tip into the engine regulator. Bright green lines of energy radiated out in an unsurprising spiral pattern along the machinery as it began to churn and whine. The whine grew into a steady blast of sound as the engines purred to life, a slight shift in the floor indicating that the vessel had begun to move. Thunderous applause followed before Artemis held up a hand and announced "DISSMISSED!"