"Well, I'm just glad you're all right," said Holly, giving Katniss another hug.

"Holly, you've said that eight times now," the girl pointed out.

"Right, right, sorry," said the elf, pulling back.

Twilight swallowed another forkful of her garden salad. "We'll have to keep an eye out for this Tally in the future. Who knows what could happen if she were to ally herself with The King's League, or worse, the Night Terrors."

"I doubt she could ally herself with anyone, if her first impulse is to kill people. And are we certain that the Night Terrors are really worse than Dio?"

"As horrible as Dio is, Poppy is far and away a larger threat," said Twilight gravely. "Not only does she have more raw power, but she's a manipulator. And that's the most dangerous thing of all. Right, Alucard?"

The vampire was staring silently into the distance, and seemed to have ignored Twilight's question.

"Right? Come on, back me up here."

Alucard turned back to the rest of the group.

"Something's coming," he announced, drawing his pistols. "Get ready."

Luffy quickly crammed the rest of the box of donuts into his mouth and balled his fists. Usagi scrambled back towards the van, Jack scraped his sword from its scabbard, and Katniss turned back to Vash.

"Hey, do you want to give me back my bow anytime soon?"

"It's in the truck if you want it," he replied, dusting his coat off as he got up. "But I'm going to talk to whatever's headed this way first."

"He's not serious, is he?" asked Alucard.

Katniss frowned. "He is."

Dust began to swirl on the horizon, billowing up to the sound of a choppy rumble. In its center was a small silhouette, slowly growing larger.

Twilight set down her salad. "Alucard… what is it? Is it what created that light?"

"Interestingly, it is not. It looks like a girl on a motorcycle."

"Well, here's to hoping this won't end up as a repeat of last time," said Katniss, removing her weapons from the truck.

Vash set out toward the dust, open hands raised above his head.

"Wish me luck, guys," he called back.

"There's always room for the ancient art of parley," hiccupped Jack.

Vash knew that he looked silly, but it was his duty to give whoever it was a chance. The sandstorm loomed much closer now, and he was beginning to be able to make out the rider of the motorcycle. He waved his hands with sweeping, slow movements, and shouted as loud as he could.

"HELLO! HEY, CAN WE TALK FOR A SECOND? WOULD YOU MAYBE LIKE A DONUT?"

The girl seemed to look up and take notice of him- Vash was impressed that his plan was going so well. He was less happy to see her leap up onto her seat, then vault off of the motorcycle in an elaborate backflip. Vash ducked out of the way to dodge the large, cumbersome machine as it ripped across the patch of dirt he had been standing on moments before, flipped onto its side, tumbled into the diner, and exploded violently. The rider landed with extreme grace, and removed her helmet.

"I'm sorry, what was that? I couldn't hear you. That's a loud bike."

"That diner… had excellent donuts," whispered Vash feebly, looking back at the carnage.

"That's what you were going to tell me?" asked the girl. "Well, I guess it's kind of irrelevant now. Say, do you want to help me fight these guys on my tail?"

Vash raised an index finger. "I can do you seven better! Right this way, milady!" He then turned and sprinted in the direction that he came from, with the girl following closely behind. They emerged from the dust cloud in front of the other gathered fighters, who looked a little concerned about the sudden loss of the diner.

"Vash, what was that?" cried Katniss.

"The motorcycle. No biggie, right? The diner closed fifteen minutes ago, it's empty."

"Oh, yeah. I guess we were the last customers," the Tribute admitted.

"So what's up with this new chick?" asked Luffy of Jack quietly. "She's pretty cute."

"That she is," replied the captain. "And I haven't the foggiest about 'er."

"Hey, I know you guys," exclaimed the new girl. "Psycho coat-guy, survival girl, the leprechaun and the stuffed animal! Yeah, you're Mikasa's friends!"

"I'm not a stuffed animal," protested Twilight. "And I'm not sure I've made your acquaintance."

"No, you have," assured the girl, touching a heart-shaped brooch on her neck. Her white racing suit- which by all appearances should have been fireproof- burst into flames as her briefly-exposed body subtly changed shape, her hair shortening and her curves becoming more pronounced.

"C'mon," she jabbed. "Who could forget Cutey Honey, the Crimson Warrior of Love?!"

"Did you see that?" whispered Luffy to his captain once more.

"I did. My only regret is that I didn't have an artist on hand to capture the moment."

"Don't worry," called Honey to the pirates. "I'll send you all the pics you'd like later. But right now, we've got bigger problems. I've been hunted for this whole freaking round by a bunch of android sheep, and it'd be most appreciated if you'd help me knock them outta commission. Heck, I'll even tell you where I hid the coin in Abingdon."

"All right, miss," bowed Jack. "I happily accept your offer. Just point us at the ruffians, and-"

The rumbling bellow of a Tyrannosaurus Rex shook the ground at their feet as the massive creature split through the dust cloud with its rail-spike-filled open jaws. The huge teeth then clamped shut, and began to articulate words.

"Isn't this a most interesting surprise? Miss Kisaragi has found her way back to my old nemeses, Team Mockingjay. And to think that I now have the opportunity to crush you both at once, yesss."

A boy clad in nothing but underwear and boots tumbled off of the dinosaur's head and bounced off the ground, from which he picked himself up rapidly.

"But, Mr. Joe, I thought we were trying to get Honey back, not destroy her."

"She has proven that she will not join us. Now we will prove to her the error of her ways."

A young man, clad in a ragged red jacket, emerged from the dust to kneel next to the boy. "Hey, she's not that great. She can be kinda mean, anyway."

"I've had about enough of her, too," growled a dark-haired woman clad in tactical armor and a trenchcoat. "I suggest the rest of you get out of our way."

"That ain't gonna happen," smirked Luffy. "Honey cut us a great deal, and we're not about to let that go. Let's get 'em!"

Jack raised his sword and hollered an unintelligible battle cry, as the warriors began to rush toward their foes. Honey decided that the lady with the assault rifle should probably be stopped first, and as such aimed to disable her first. She hunkered her body down into a full sprint, sidestepping a three-round burst while drawing her sword from the air. The woman seemed to notice what Honey was up to, and caught Honey's thrown-forward face with her boot, sending the android sprawling backwards into the dirt.

"You're a miserable little ingrate," she hissed. "All you ever had to do was say yes, but, no, you can't do that, and now you're the victim."

Honey wiped a dribble of blood from her nose. "But at the end of the day, you're the one antagonizing me."

"I'm just following orders," said the woman through gritted teeth. "That's what I'm here for. It's what I'm good at."

"Just a bunch of sheep," spat Honey, leaping to her feet. "You're no better than an assembly bot."

"Not true," smiled the woman. "It might surprise you to know that I'm a human being."

"For a team of androids a lot of you sure do seem to be humans."

"That's not the point," she countered, her smile gone. "Machines are stronger, more efficient than organic life. I was a human being- but the lives of others mattered enough to me that I got rid of my humanity, so I could protect theirs. Motoko Kusanagi, Transcendent Technomorph number five."

"Bra-vo," cheered Honey mockingly, complete with a slow clap. "Aren't you a selfless hero? Somebody, get her a peace prize, stat!"

"I'm not going to make any progress arguing with you, am I?"

"None at all."

"Very well then," grunted Motoko, launching herself at the girl. Honey stepped to the left and successfully dodged the Major's body, but the cyborg countered by flinging her left arm out, catching Honey's chin with a hammer strike. Honey reeled backwards, but recovered quickly enough to lock her Silver Fleurette against the barrel of Motoko's assault rifle and push the weapon's firing line away, just before another three-round burst would have met its mark. Honey flicked her wrist and swept the blade's tip into the bottom of the woman's wrist, which allowed her to knock the weapon out of her grip.

"Now how are you going to beat me without a weapon?" asked Honey with her usual coy grin.

"Don't you get it? I am a weapon," roared Kusanagi, sweeping a lightning-fast roundhouse kick into the place Honey had been just a moment ago, if she had not jumped over the attack.

"Right, because you replaced your old body with a robot one," mused Honey as she landed. "So what part of you is still human?"

Motoko let out a pleased-sounding grunt, evidently happy to talk about it. "Nothing on me's original except my brain stem. The rest is all high-performance cybernetics."

"Thanks," said Honey, suddenly behind her. Too late, Motoko realized her error. Honey rammed the tip of her Fleurette upwards through the back of the cyborg's neck, leaving her body just underneath her high-performance cybernetic chin. Her body was wracked by a short spasm, and then fell limp. Honey held the back of Kusanagi's metal skull still as she neatly removed her blade, which had little blood on it- somehow quite fitting.

*** 

Luffy dodged under another swing of the young man's gigantic sword arm, which Jack parried as the blade slowed at the end of its arc.

"What kinda fruit did you eat to do that?" yelped the boy from underneath his straw hat.

"Man, I don't even like fruit all that much," said Rex. "Soy un junkie de comida basura."

"Oh, he's a New Spaniard," the captain remarked.

"Actually, I was born in Switzerland. I can't show you the certificate, but I swear I ain't yankin' your chain."

"A Swiss Spaniard with swords for arms. Now I really have seen everything," mumbled Jack, swinging for a counter. Rex lifted his BFS and effortlessly blocked the attack, but was stunned by an elastic punch from Luffy.

"İAy, Dios Mio! You gonna quit that?"

Luffy's response was not a yes, as Rex had hoped, but instead a "GUM-GUM PISTOL!"

A stretchy uppercut lifted Rex off the ground, but the Swiss Spaniard showed no signs of defeat. He retracted his BFS back into a normal human arm, as two large turbines sprouted from his back.

"HA! I can fly! What are you hombres gonna do now?"

"GUM-GUM BAZOOKA!"

"Say what now?"

Luffy's arms shot upwards, each one sailing past Rex's head.

"Heh, you missed!"

"I swear, that is just disgusting," moaned Jack.

"Yeah, but it works," countered Luffy.

"True, true."

"No, it doesn't work," called down Rex. "'Cause you miss-"

Luffy's arms, having begun to contract back to their normal length, sped back to Rex's head with hands open. Luffy caught the back of Rex's head, and returned him to earth, while putting in the extra effort to introduce Rex' face to his knee on the way. His nanite backpack receded into his unconscious body.

"Good work, lad," said Jack. "Let's clear out before this gets any hairier."

Luffy swung his straw hat back around his neck. "Whaddya mean?"

"I mean, we haven't been here long, right?"

"Yeah, so?"

"And this is the first team we've seen come through here, right?"

"Yeah… so?"

"So no one's come by to snatch the coin, savvy?"

"Ohh, I get it," grinned the boy.

*** 

Holly's punch connected with the center of the boy's chest, but it did very little to him. In fact, Holly felt as though she might have taken more damage from the attack than anyone.

"D'Arvit," she said, pulling her hand back. "That smarts!" She maintained her hover above the ruckus below, as the boy's heavy boots kept him aloft on high-intensity jets.

"Why don't you all stop? I just wanted to hang out with Honey!" cried the boy.

Holly was a bit confused. "Hang out with her? I thought you were trying to kill her."

"No, you don't get it. Mr. Joe wanted Honey to be on our team, but Honey said no," explained the boy. "So Mr. Joe told us to chase her down and try and convince her to join us anyway, but she kept tricking us!"

"…Because she didn't want to join your team. What's so hard to get about that?"

"I know that, but… I wanted to be on her team."

"Oh, so you're saying-"

"She's really pretty," he continued. "And I think I love her."

Holly slipped her Neutrino back into her holster and patted the boy's hair. "There, there, kid. If you want a romance to blossom, you can't have it be part of somebody's agenda. Go talk to her yourself. Tell her how you feel."

"R-really?" he sniffled.

"Of course! Just make sure to be honest, and be prepared for rejection."

"Wait, what?"

"See you," shouted the elf, carried away by her mechanical wings.

Tobio dropped back down to the ground, hopping over a stray sword slash and rolling under a spray of bullets on his way to his goal. Honey was prying her sword out of a very dead-looking Major Kusanagi. She didn't look like she was in the mood to speak with him, but Tobio figured it was his best chance.

"Um, Honey? Can… can we talk?"

"Considering that the rest of your team is getting run through a meat grinder right now, sure, I guess I can spare a moment. Are you going to give me your whole introduction, too?"

"No, there's nothing to that. I'm Tobio Tenma, Transcendent Technomorph three. That's all you need to know about me."

"Wow, you actually spared me all of that pretentious babbling. Thanks, Tobio. I think I like you."

"Y-you do?!" he whimpered, his eyes widening.

"Yeah. Definitely better than the rest of those shmucks."

He dug the toe of his boot into the ground and wiggled it across the dirt. Now's your chance, Tobio. Don't screw this up!

"Well, the thing is, I really like you. Like, a lot."

Honey covered half of her face with her hand. "Ho, boy."

"'Cause you're really pretty, and smart, and stuff, and-"

Honey crouched down to his eye level, wrapped her arm around his neck, and planted a kiss on his cheek. The boy was stunned- had it really worked?

"Listen, Tobio- that's really sweet," she whispered. "But you're not my type."

Tobio's illusion of success crumbled with a single sentence. He desperately attempted to repair the damage.

"I mean," he stammered, her face still so close to his. "We can't- I don't think that we could, you know- cross-platform integration."

"No, Tobio. I mean, people like you aren't my type."

"B-because I worked for Mr. Joe?"

Honey narrowed her eyes, blushing slightly.

"Kid, you don't get it, do you?"

"No, I-I don't."

Honey removed her arm from around him and stood up, patting him on the head- which he was honestly getting quite tired of.

"You'll figure it out someday." she said sternly.

He swatted her hand away. "But I don't want to figure it out someday, I wanna know now! What am I doing wrong?"

"For starters, you're throwing a fit," replied Honey, raising her voice. She lowered her sword towards the boy. "And if you keep it up, you're going to be sent to time-out."

"Fine, I won't throw a fit," Tobio huffed. He hopped into the air as his feet transformed into rockets, keeping him aloft on pillars of blue flame. "But if I beat you, you'll have to tell me."

"Deal," smirked Honey. Tobio blasted away into the sky, leaving the female android to stare up into the clouds.

So he's putting distance between us… If he's a long-range fighter, I might not be able to stop him.

A twinkle directly above her was Honey's only warning of the attack. She dodged backwards as the boy returned to earth like a meteor, plowing the earth aside with the impact of his own body. Honey's boots lost traction as the ground underneath them shifted, and she began to slide downward into the crater. Tobio's silhouette stood in the center of the depression, with a single arm extended towards her. At the arm's tip was a long, silver barrel, crackling with energy.

It's a beam weapon- I don't know how effective that thing will be against me, but I can't take my chances.

Honey yanked the ribbon tied around her left arm off, and felt her engine transform the strip of fabric into a cruelly-curved blade.

"Honey Boomerang," she whispered, and flicked her wrist outward. The boomerang looped into the barrel protruding from Tobio's arm and knocked him off-balance, giving Honey the opportunity she needed. She transferred her downward movement into a pounce that forced the boy into the back of the crater, pinning him under her heel.

"No fair!" he protested. "You cheated or something!"

"Did not," insisted Honey.

"But I wanna know! Why?!"

"Like I said, you'll figure it out," frowned the girl, running her sword's tip over a panel on Tobio's chest. It swung open to reveal a few wires, which she quickly clipped. Tobio stopped struggling after that.

*** 

The large man continued to advance toward them slowly, drawing a scoped pistol from the heavy rucksack slung over his broad back.

"So what is this thing?" asked Vash worriedly.

"A machine," replied Alucard. "Like the others."

"Let's give it a chance to be reasonable."

"Additional targets identified. Beginning termination," it grunted in a thick accent.

"And the chance is gone!" cackled the vampire, drawing his weapons. He emptied both magazines into the man, each slug visibly knocking his body about. However, at the end of the assault, the machine seemed no more deterred for the huge, bleeding holes now scattered across its body. Alucard was visibly disappointed as he put his weapons away.

"So, if bullets can't stop it, then what can?" Vash wondered. Alucard cracked his knuckles and began to advance toward the man.

"Lively discussion, perhaps," he suggested, throwing his fist into the man's chin. The leather-jacketed machine stumbled backward, but quickly righted itself, lifting its weapon to fire into the vampire's gut. Alucard responded about the same way the man had to his bullets, and returned for another strike. However, the machine was ready, and intercepted the punch. Before Alucard could escape, the pistol was pressed against his forehead. "Or not."

Vash watched his fellow red-coat's head get turned into pulp, as the mechanical man began to move towards his remaining target. He purposefully drew his own pistol, even though he knew it would probably do him little good. He aimed it into the advancing machine's forehead.

"Mister, prove to me that you're not some dumb robot! Come on, surely you can think and feel like your friends could!"

The man said nothing, moving within three meters of Vash.

"I said, come on, dammit! Don't make me shoot you!"

Another heavy boot pulled the man closer.

"Fine. You leave me no choice," frowned Vash, firing a single shot. The bullet went exactly where he intended, and the gun was removed from the mechanical man's hand.

Vash pulled his sunglasses down, offering the man a warm smile. "Now, let's work this out."

The man simply reached back into the rucksack he was carrying, and began to slowly remove something large. It was bulky and mechanical, with a large drum slung underneath. All mystery surrounding its identity was dispelled as the several gleaming barrels appeared.

"That… is a big gun."

The minigun's barrels began to wind up to speed, which was an excellent indicator for Vash to run for cover. He complied by ducking towards the beat-up minivan that the other warriors had arrived in, and found that he was not alone. A purple unicorn was drawing lines into the dirt, her brow furrowed.

"Twilight, right? What are you doing here?"

"Planning a way to defeat our implacable friend, there," she explained.

Usagi crouched behind her, arms around her knees. "And I'm here for moral support! Go, Twilight, go!" she whispered.

"All right, I think I've got it," she said, looking up from her calculations. "He has a hyperalloy frame. It's a lot of different metals, but I think I should be able to cast a spell that will magnetize him, if only briefly."

If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.

Vash scratched his head. "That's great and all, but what's making him magnetic going to do?"

"It's going to make things stick to him, like this minivan. But it's going to take some time to cast. I'll need a distraction."

Vash stood up, and flashed a crooked v-for-victory sign proudly. "Have no fear! I, Vash the Stampede, shall provide a distraction!"

"Thank you, Vash. For everything."

"Hey, don't mention it. They were just donuts."

He sprung out from behind the van, and directly into the sights of the man with the minigun. The barrels were already at speed, so the man simply moved his finger to the trigger and unleashed a storm of lead accented with glowing tracer rounds. A minigun's trajectory was a little difficult to read, due to the shifting positions of the barrels, but Vash had dealt with them before. With a single, carefully calculated burst of speed, he stepped out of the way of the bullets. The man began to swing the barrels toward Vash's new location, but the gunslinger was much faster than he had anticipated, closing the gap between them almost instantaneously. There were several conflicting runtimes on how to respond to such a situation, but before his processor could decide on one, he felt a hand on top of his head, and a significant amount of pressure. The pressure then disappeared, as his target swung back into view.

"What's happening?" squealed Usagi from behind the van.

Beads of sweat dripped off of Twilight's straining face, as she put all of her effort into her spell. "Have you ever heard of a log roll?"

"Where the big guys run on the tops of them? Yeah."

Twilight grunted against the force of the collecting magic and motioned toward the scene, which Usagi crawled forward to observe. Never before had either of them seen something so stupendous, nor so ridiculous. Vash had vaulted up onto the gun's spinning barrels, and was currently running against them. It seemed that the mechanical man was equally dumbstruck by the unusual maneuver, as he stood, letting the barrels spin, with his jaw hanging open. The gunslinger was visibly panicked as well as he carefully measured each of his strides.

"If you could hurry up that spell, that'd be great!" he cried.

"Done!" shouted Twilight, nearly collapsing. The man was suddenly surrounded by a faint pink glow. "It's got a five second delay! Run!"

Vash hopped off of the spinning weapon and sprinted away, keeping his hand on his holstered pistol. It was good thinking on Twilight's part to incorporate a delay, otherwise he'd get stuck as well. Exhausted, Twilight dragged herself to the side of the van, and tapped a metal panel with her horn. The vehicle instantly began to slide toward the man. At first, it traveled right-side up, but soon the friction on its wheels tilted it onto its side as it raced roof-first towards the man. He adjusted the aim of his heavy weapon toward the sliding van, but was unable to fire before he was engulfed by the mass of metal, the weak roof crumpling around his solid frame, the engine block and transaxle warping inward to surround him. With a mighty pop, the replacement driveline jumped out of the transmission. With several other pops, a few bullets entered the exposed gas tank.

"Aw," groaned Alucard. "I thought it would explode."

*** 

Katniss sprinted past the advancing dinosaur's leg, extending her knife to her side to rip away the flesh to the metallic bone beneath.

"GAAAARGH!" screamed Megatron, swinging his head down to unsuccessfully snap at the girl, who had rolled to one knee with a drawn bow. A single arrow found its mark in his eye, and the Predacon bellowed more as he tried in vain to remove it with his stubby arms.

"It's almost like you're easier to beat, this time around," said the girl, drawing another arrow.

"You FOOL!" hissed Megatron. "I am FAR from defeated. Have you forgotten that I have another pair of optics?"

The brightly-colored scaly hide lifted away as the beast's body rearranged itself into the Predacon's robot mode. He lifted the reptilian head, which was now mounted on his right arm, and began to charge purple energy from within its throat. Something small, yet very fast, drove a flying kick into the arm the moment before his beam discharged, resulting in a nearby piece of desert scrub being vaporized instead of Katniss. Holly performed an elaborate aerial loop away from Megatron and landed where the shrub had been.

"Yeah, we know about your optics. I'll tear them out like last time."

"The great Megatron will not be defeated the same way twice," he roared, driving his melee-weapon bearing left arm into the ground underneath Holly, who lifted Katniss with her into the air, with some effort from her mechanical wings.

"You pester him from one side, I'll go for the other," Holly instructed. She set the girl back down opposite where they had been, while the elf returned to face the Predacon.

"So, you believe you can surround me? You will not be successful, no."

"What makes you think that?" shouted Katniss. "We've beaten you every time we fought you!"

"That may be so, but I now have a team," corrected the robot. "See? I can defeat you at your own game, yes!"

"Your team is dead," announced Alucard, leading Twilight Sparkle, Vash, and Usagi to Holly's side.

"Maybe if you had spent less time chasing me around you could have accomplished something," Honey sneered. "But, what goes around comes around."

Holly holstered her Neutrino, knowing that it would not take the warriors much to finish off their opponent. "Are you ever going to learn?"

"I need to learn nothing!" screamed the robot. "I am the great MEGATRON! Predacon mastermind extraordinaire!"

"Excuse me, did you say Megatron?" asked a deep, gravelly voice.

Megatron looked around, unsure of the source.

"I did, yes. Who wants to know?"

The truck, which had spent the entire battle parked, backed out of its spot and rolled towards the Predacon. The gathered fighters stepped aside to make room as it came to a stop, its brakes letting off a hiss as it halted. Four short, mechanical sounds were followed by a storm of others as the vehicle began to disassemble and reassemble itself into another large mechanoid. Unlike the sleek lines of Megatron's armor-like body, this new machine was very clearly made from the parts of the truck it had once been, which jutted from its body at improbable angles. It stood a fair bit taller than Megatron, who was looking rather concerned.

"Optimus!" cried Katniss, in an unusually obvious fashion.

"So that's why it talks," Vash realized.

"Like some vast, overgrown action figure," whispered Twilight.

"My name is Optimus Prime," it grated.

"Now, that's not right," stammered Megatron. "I've seen Optimus Prime, and he's not quite as ugly as yourself."

"And your appearance is unlike the Megatron I once knew," admitted Optimus. "But your actions cause strife all the same. Any Megatron is an enemy of mine."

Optimus extended his right arm outwards, and the ever-shifting metal rearranged itself around a glowing-orange blade.

"Well, I ah, misspoke myself. My real name is Joe, Joe Convoy."

The glare from the red-and-blue robot's shifting, metallic eyes showed that he was not convinced. He began to stomp closer to Megatron, holding his sword at the ready.

"I think we should give these two some room," suggested Holly, and the warriors retreated to the diner.

"Let's not let this get out of hand," cried the Predacon, taking a nervous step backwards. "This is all just a big misunderstanding."

"Misunderstanding? Did I misunderstand how you antagonized my friends? How they claim your actions in the past were no nobler than your actions now?"

"I may have enhanced the truth just a little, yes."

"Freedom is the right of all sentient beings. For you, I can make an exception," roared Prime, swinging his blade arm towards the target of his ire. Megatron raised his melee weapon to block the attack, which resulted in the sword sinking into the weaponized tail before coming to a halt. Megatron countered by bringing his Tyrannosaurus head-beam cannon to bear, jamming it into the side of Optimus' body. The larger bot used his free hand to drive a punch into Megatron's face, which forced the Predacon further back. Megatron seized his backward momentum as an opportunity to disengage his left arm from the tail, freeing his robotic hand beneath. His talon-tipped feet dug into the ground as he lurched forward to bring an armored knee into Prime's abdomen. The stunned Autobot took his turn to fall backwards, but Megatron would not let up on his attack, following with a bodyblow from his now-unoccupied fist. A roundhouse kick to Prime's chest knocked the robot to the ground, as Megatron drew his arms into a complex stance.

"I see you've never taken the time to study Metallikato- a very effective art, yesss."

From inside the diner, the warriors anxiously watched Optimus fall.

"I don't think the truck can get up from that one," murmured Vash.

"He will if I have anything to say about it," growled Katniss, snatching the gunslinger's heavy pistol from its holster and clicking the safety off. Before anyone could stop her, she pointed it out the window and fired.

Megatron's first instinct was to find what had plinked against the back of his head- an instinct he should have suppressed. He turned away from Prime and looked back towards the diner, only to have his left optic destroyed by a high-velocity slug of lead. His instincts then led him to howl in pain, and turn away from whatever had hurt him. This meant that he had to shuffle around on his big legs, one of which caught against another that Prime had subtly lifted while the Predacon was distracted. In turn, this caused Megatron to topple face-first towards the Autobot, directly onto the lifted Energon sword. Optimus shoved his impaled opponent to the side, removing the blade from his chest and collapsing it back into his own arm.

"One shall stand, one shall fall," he grunted, gingerly removing the dead Predacon's face.

"That was pretty brutal," remarked Honey, the others having followed her from the diner. "Even by my standards."

"I do not apologize. Those that pursue the Decepticon ideals, regardless of what they call them, must be stopped. No matter the cost."

"Whatever happened to your vow of non-violence?" asked Katniss, handing the revolver back to Vash.

"I forgot. My bad."

"It was very convenient of you to forget," chuckled Holly nervously. "Just make sure you direct that forgetfulness at the bad guys."

Usagi, who had been weeping through the duration of the fight, took a moment to wipe off her tears. "Hey," she sniffled, "what happened to Captain Sparrow and Luffy?"

"We're here, we're here!" called the younger pirate, dashing back from the scattered buildings that composed the center of the town, which the warriors had nearly forgotten about.

"You've found your mate and we've found the gold," grinned Jack, tossing their new coin into the air and catching it as it fell. "So all that's left is to keep sailing north, right?"

Honey, certain that all threats had been eliminated, transformed back into her default state, her hair turning blonde as it lengthened. "Unless you want to head east."

"And why would we want to do that?" asked Luffy.

"Because there's a coin left in Abingdon's bank, and everybody else skipped town."

Jack began to stroke his beard thoughtfully. "I do like the sound of that. But what about our standing agreement with the Miss?"

"You may travel on your own if you desire," stated Alucard. "You have taken us far enough."

Twilight Sparkle pulled on his coat, and the vampire knelt to speak with her quietly.

"Are you sure about this?" she asked.

"Absolutely. We now have Katniss and the police elf with us. I trust they can protect you far more than these buffoons could. And we must keep moving north."

"Of course, I- I just had gotten a little attached to them."

"They'll be fine, Miss Sparkle. Luck seems to be on their side."

"All right." Twilight turned to the pirates. "You may go."

"But… our van got trashed!" cried Usagi.

"I believe I may be of some assistance," offered Optimus Prime, as his parts began to shift back into the custom truck the warriors were more familiar with.

"Well, what are we waiting for?!" shouted Jack. "The Crimson Corsairs set sail again!"

"Yeah!" screamed Luffy, sprinting for the truck. Usagi followed obediently, and soon the pirates had packed themselves into their new vehicle and drove away.

"Now, why in Frond's name did you do that?" asked Holly of Honey.

"I wasn't going to be able to win this round with them chasing me," explained the android, jabbing a thumb back towards Megatron's cold metal frame. "So I decided I would settle for good, old-fashioned revenge. And I got it in spades. I think I'm just going to take it easy from here on out- I'll see if the diner has anything decent left in their fridge."

With that, Honey spun on her heel and waltzed toward the squat stainless-steel building, whistling as she went. She paused and turned back, and looked up at the sky.

"Do you hear that?"

"Yes," said Alucard. "Interesting."

Soon, the sound could be heard by the others, and odd mixture of struggling turbines and cursing. Holly located the source first, cupping a hand over her eyes to see through the midday sun.

"Is that-?"

The object dipped and sputtered through the sky, cutting an uneven path towards them. It was lopsided, and as it drew closer, it became clear that it was not one object, but four. Adam was being held up by the back of his pants, and was clutching Ruby tightly to his chest. Mikasa, on the other hand, was clinging fearfully to Ryuko's arm. The girl's Kamui was in its Shippu form, which was evidently not designed for passengers. The four warriors began a pathetically uncoordinated descent, which failed about twenty feet from the ground to end in a clumsy crash.

"Hey, guys," groaned Ryuko.

"Oh, wow! The whole gang's here!" cried Ruby. "Except for Kamina and Simon and their cool robot."

Mikasa pried herself out from underneath a good portion of Team Mockingjay. "Where's Honey? Is she okay?"

"Right here," waved Honey, rushing back towards them. "Sorry about ditching you back there, Mikasa."

"I forgive you," grunted the scout, subtly apologetic.

Ryuko pushed herself free and dusted her Kamui off. "Now, the real question is, is the bike okay?"

"That would be a no," said Vash, pointing back at the pile of wreckage that had put a significant dent in the diner.

"Damn, just my luck," cursed the girl. "And who the hell are you?"

"Oh, I'm Vash, Vash the Stampede, the Six Billion Double Dollar Man, a hunter of Love and Peace, and the world's greatest gunslinger," he said, sliding over to Ryuko and bowing before her.

"He hitchhikes with me, and won't say a word; Ryuko walks in with less than her underwear and he won't shut up," sighed Katniss, rolling her eyes.

"Hey, now," chuckled Vash. "You can't blame a chivalrous knight for honoring such a fair lady." He picked up Ryuko's hand, moved his lips toward it, and was knocked thirty feet away by a backhand slap.

"The fair lady says you can cram your love and peace down your fancy coat," sneered Ryuko.

"Okay," whimpered Vash, massaging a new bruise.

Adam looked out across the mangled frame of the minivan, the lifeless chassis of Megatron, and the still bodies of Motoko and Tobio. "Judging by the excess of corpses, I assume that you were already able to rid Honey of her pursuers?"

"Mmm-hmm," nodded Twilight. "Alucard and I were travelling with another team when we picked up Holly in Southville-"

"Ha-ha! Called it!" cheered Ryuko.

Twilight placed a hoof on her face before continuing. "- and defeated Dio's team. We then continued northeast, passed through another town, and found Katniss and Vash here in Easton. After that, Honey showed up and we helped her defeat Megatron and his new goons."

"I had a jet," noted Holly. "It turned into a robot."

Ruby's eyes lit up. "Awesome."

"So you guys were able to grab a bunch of coins, right?" asked Ryuko.

"We relinquished all of our coins to the team we were travelling with as payment for their assistance," Alucard explained.

"You did WHAT?" cried the girl in the Kamui.

"As odd as it sounds, we have bigger priorities than winning this time," said Twilight. "Poppy's revenge scheme is seriously dangerous. We can't have her actions upset the way things are, otherwise our..." she twitched her hooves to indicate quotation marks- "friends might have trouble with their mission. Collecting the coins before confronting her would only be furthering her goal and putting us all in danger. If we need to prove to her that we won't work for her, then that should be our first priority. That means we need to be making our way towards that confrontation."

"But before we can get to Northville, we've got to find Simon and Kamina," Holly pointed out. "Without a mecha, we'll have nothing to counter the Valvrave."

"How are we supposed to find them, though?" asked Katniss.

"Process of elimination," explained Twilight. "Alucard and I started out in Mare Sanguine, to the southwest."

"Okay, I was in Southville," said Katniss. "Before I got a ride with Optimus to Terre Sombre."

Ryuko raised her hand. "Wait, who's Optimus?"

"A truck," replied Holly. "Just left, with the other team we mentioned."

"Oh, okay. I think I might have seen that. I was in the middle of nowhere with Ruby and Adam, but we eventually made it to Weston."

"Poppy dropped me out of the sky," bragged Holly. "I think it was northwest of here."

"I was outside of Abingdon," Mikasa added.

Twilight' eyes lit up. "So the only place that wasn't covered… was the far east."

"Which is where we are now," Katniss realized.

Holly nodded. "So they can't be far."

"Maybe we could watch for more of those bright flashes!" suggested Ruby. "Their robot always makes those!"

Honey spoke up. "Hey, that reminds me. The big blue light from back in Abingdon? That's a guy looking for you," she pointed at Ryuko.

"Wait, that was this Goku guy? Are you serious?"

"I didn't get his name," scoffed the android. "He was too busy firing his world-ending laser beam to get to that. But if you've heard of him, then, yeah, that's probably who it was."

"Hmph," Ryuko snorted. "I still don't have time for a fight, even if he's some kind of living light show. I've got more important things to do."

"There's some guy chasing you?" asked Katniss.

"Yeah, Sol Badguy filled me in."

"And you didn't…?" Holly's voice trailed off, and she replaced her words with gestures indicating extra teeth and a monstrous stance.

"Nope. It was very formal. Until we got arrested."

Katniss stamped her foot. "Let's focus, here, people. How are we going to find our pilots?"

"I said, we could look for bright flashes," pouted Ruby. "Like that one."

She pointed to the northeast at a series of concentric glowing octagons that flickered in and out of existence sporadically.

"That looks familiar," noted Mikasa.

"It's an AT field," concurred Twilight. "From Shinji's EVA. Nopony would be stupid enough to fight that thing on foot, so there's got to be other mecha out there."

Holly cleared her throat. "Well, if you want to get technical, we did once fight it on foot. Sort of."

"How did you-"

"Shot him in the hand, dropped a building on him."

"Oh. Clever."

"Madre de Dios," coughed a feeble voice from behind them. They turned to find Rex sitting on the ground, holding his head in his palms. "Que duele de la cabeza," he moaned.

"Oh, they didn't finish you off?" snarled Honey. "Shame. I'll have to do it myself."

"No!" cried Vash, leaping to the young man's side. "Don't do it! He's hurt!"

"Well, duh. That's the point."

"No, it's not. Listen, kid, you're not going to try anything funny, are you?"

"Claro que no," groaned Rex. "I just want this headache to go away."

"See? He just needs help."

"Ugh, you're pathetic," growled the android.

"Let's get some ice for that bump of yours," said the gunslinger, examining the young man's head. "Honey, could you go check in the diner?"

"Fine, fine," she grumbled, turning back.

"We need to go," sighed Katniss. "Vash, you can keep Honey in line, right?"

"Love and peace will always conquer hatred," he grinned. "I'll see you guys later, as long as you've got some donuts."

"All right!" declared Holly. "Let's go find that AT field!"