Rune

That trip was a massive headache. Traveling halfway across the planet just to visit some backwater village calling itself a kingdom. There was no direct route here. It is on the wrong side of the barrier, and the only way to get through it without approaching the Nexus took months. I am exhausted. And now that I get here, it's even worse than I imagined. The buildings are fairly impressive, considering how the residents of... what was it again? Potestia? I have a hard time tracking all the minor little playgrounds in the third plane. This one has clearly been abandoned for far too long if the residents are escaping and trying to form new ones.

They are doing alright, I suppose. Although there are startlingly few children about. There is little about at all, in fact, excepting the busy fumbling of people recently in distress. The most I am likely to find to entertain myself here are a couple of books based on their dull culture, and a few people to admire my Nexus magic. I wave down a man in something that looks like a makeshift uniform. I prepare for the tired song and dance I always go through as they assume I am a child. Asking where my parents are. Refusing to take me seriously. I already have a massive water spell brewing, not with mana but with the Nexus, just to skip that bit.

He sees me and I roll my eyes, prepared to be brushed off by the very people I am here to help. "Lord Rune!" he exclaims instead, "You have returned! Thank the Collector, we need the help. Please my lord, it's the stewards. They've been murdered. It's the former queen... she... please, we need your help," he begs. I just look at him in bafflement.

"What do you mean 'returned'?" I ask. "I've only just arrived?"

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Leo

Charlotte and I stare in shock. We escaped the field easily, once my abilities manifested. But... the whisper sphere broke at the same time. The Radiant Woods wilts and recedes anywhere I walk. The world re-establishes reality, rejecting whatever warped atrocities have been done to it. I leave a trail behind me where the Radiant Woods cannot exist. But we are trapped, now. We don't know where we are. We don't know how to get home. We can't call Lily. We don't even know who won.

All we can do is wander, and survive. That much has been easy enough. The sky over us is normal again. As we walk we discover rivers that heal as I approach. Charlotte's magic keeps us safe. The itching on my face is unquestionable now. I have a beard growing in. Without Lily. Without Sara. Just me. Charlotte's body is changing too. Slowly. In little ways. It is everything. It is slow but every morning, we both wake up a little more ourselves. More validated. Like river water, leaving dirt and impurity behind as it flows ever forward.

But now, we both gape. We both stare. Because we found our first monster. Our first victim of the Woods. They were sleeping, as I approached. And once we got close enough, they began to change too. Teeth receding into their face. Extra joints and a hard carapace contorting and dissolving as a human man emerges. Weary, and wrinkled, and human. And I feel it. Getting back... that's not what I want to do. I scratch my face as it becomes more clear. Charlotte and I don't just need to find the other two who fell into the Woods with us. I want to find every single victim. I want to give them what I now feel. The body they belong in. The freedom that has been denied them. The future they deserve.

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Lillith

I take a deep breath. Then another. My heart is as still as ever, so why does it feel so heavy? My fist hovers in front of the door, ready to knock. I helped bring down a country, but knocking on this door is far more terrifying. But I made two promises. I was reminded of the first this morning as my catty neighbor pounded on my door like she was trying to knock it down. The sound wasn't the worst thing waiting for me with consciousness, but it wasn't the best.

The cold of a world I wanted to deny tried to freeze me to the bed. So many things reminded me of the reality I had left behind as I slept. Each one burned my skin like ice. The cruelty in it felt more real than ever. More unavoidable. More constant.

There was also the warmth of a woman, reminding me I still had a reason to accept it. I woke up with my arm around her waist and my head on her shoulder. Something in her bleary eyes at the sound of the banging door still sent butterflies through my stomach. Even now.

Ember would not be dismissed again. I promised to help her fight the sages, if they were what she said they were. I wanted the morning to catch up with Sara. To hear about what she went through. How she communicated with me, with Annie. How she took part of the Radiant Woods back. But... I made two promises, and the first was at my door. I shared a look with Sarafyna, the mist of sleep still in her eyes. A thousand words passed between us in the look, and I nodded. Then forced myself from the bed. I had one night. One night to be vulnerable. But the world is still waiting for me. And there is more left to burn.

Ember was irritated, but quickly appeased when I agreed to begin planning to leave right away. She was easy. She was the first promise. She was the promise I could still fulfill. But I made two promises. Before I do anything else, I have to face the one I broke. What had I said? Something about keeping her real kids safe? It seemed so clever, so biting at the time. I suppose it still is. But it wasn't supposed to bleed like this. I didn't feel the sting, when she first slapped me. I brushed her off. I ran away. I can feel it now.

I finally work up the courage to knock when the door opens. Again we find ourselves in a doorway, sharing a terrified look. My breath catches and my knuckles stay frozen in the air, ready to rap against a door that is no longer there. She and I share more than grief in that moment. More than loss. She feels as terrified of me as I am of her. As her hand raises to my face a second time, I flinch, and she freezes. A heavy moment passes, both our hands waiting awkwardly in the air. I feel that unique tension that always precedes oncoming pain, but instead her hand rests on my cheek. Her fingers are as cold as ice. Her gentle touch as warm as the sun.

This story originates from Royal Road. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.

I have to present a strong face for her. Same as I always have. Same as I did when she shut down the first time we lost Henry. Same as I always am, for everyone but Sara and Henry. For everyone but Sara. I steel my expression. I need to apologize. But I need her to know I am still strong. Still able to fight. I broke my promise to her, but I can still keep her safe. I can still keep everything she has left safe. I need to be the pillar holding a roof over her head. I need to be Lillith. I believe I can. I can take any biting words she has. Any condemnations. I can be her pillar and take her rage. Until she says a single word.

"Lily," she whispers, and I am undone. I always feel taller than my mother, but I am not. It just feels that way. Lily. She called me Lily. Not Annie. Not even Lillith. Lily. She towers over me with a single, barely audible name. "Lily I... I'm sorry. I meant to bring you dinner. All of you. I don't know... no, that's a lie. I know what I was thinking. I shouldn't have hit you. I just... Lily. I know you tried. I know. I know. I do, and I know Henry, he..." she trails off.

She is speaking to herself as much as me. All my attempts to present a strong front have dissolved. I can taste the tears running past my lips. I can't find the words. She speaks again in my stead. "I spent yesterday wondering if I was going to lose two of my children. My real children. I don't know how I questioned that. When I saw you... when Sarafyna brought you back, I knew. I knew who you were. I know who you are. I'm sorry. I am so sorry. I love you, Lily. Thank you, for being alive. Thank you for coming back. Thank you for protecting my children."

"I... I didn't," I finally answer, "Henry..." I feel her hand tense, the tips of her fingernails just barely pressing against my cheeks. Her face grows tight for a moment, and I see it. I really am her daughter. She is shredded inside. But she... wants to be strong for me. She wants to put on the brave face I failed to present to her. It breaks my heart. But... I need it. I can feel it. It's my turn. I failed her. I broke my promise. I let her son die. But she remembered I am her daughter, and she loves me just as much. And she is telling me it's my turn. This only makes me cry more.

"You protected two of my children, in a city where thousands died. So... thank you, Lily," she says. My hand, no longer furled for a knock but still awkwardly running through my own hair, finally falls. I rest my head on my mother's shoulder. We don't embrace. We still feel too much pain. My turn or not, this is a brave face she is putting on. The tension of my broken promise remains. Still. I can't help being the broken one for a moment. I can't talk about this anymore.

"I... I have to go again, Mom," I say. I feel her tense up further, but she doesn't speak yet. "I have more to do. More... promises. I have to leave. I have to help Ember. And Sara couldn't find Leo and the others and..." I pause. She knows all of this. "But... I'm not taking Ed. I want a few people to come with me. But Ed and Gil... they'll be here. With you. Safe," I promise.

"I know," she finally responds. "I know. But... promise me. Promise me you will come back again? I want all th-three of my children safe. I want you safe too. Please... promise to come back?" I wrap my arms around her and bite my lip. I can't. I can't promise her that. Not after breaking my last one. It makes me feel sick when I open my mouth to try.

"I'll do my best," I answer lamely. She doesn't respond for a long moment, then pulls herself back, away from me. Leaving me empty again. She gives me a terse nod.

"Well. You had better begin making arrangements, then," she dismisses. She quickly retreats back into her room, apparently forgetting why she opened the door in the first place. A glistening from her cheek explains why. The mask was going to crumble. I sigh and my shoulders slump as I leave her alone. Sara's warm hand runs over my shoulder as I reach the corner at the end of the hall.

"How is she?" she asks. I walk alongside her for a moment before answering.

"She is in pain. And she is wonderful," I describe, failing to elaborate any further than that. Sara doesn't push and we walk in silence for a while. I don't know where I am going, so I just approach a window, breathing in the fresh smell of the fruit and the foliage growing along the outer wall.

"Who are we going to take with us?" She inquires, answering my request before I can make it.

"You assume I am bringing you?" I joke half-heartedly. She hears the question behind the quip and gently bumps her shoulder against mine.

"I am never leaving your side again, my love," she whispers in my ear. I close my eyes and let the clean air blow across my face.

"Nor I yours," I agree. I need her to help search the Radiant Woods anyway. Something strange is going on with that, she should have been able to sense our friends the moment she entered. But they were nowhere to be found.

"So. Who are we bringing with us?" she asks. I think for a moment. Maybe I think it will distract her. Maybe I think it will give her purpose. Maybe she really does need me, day after day, after day. Maybe I am just selfish and I need her, to remind me to feel. To remind me that, even with my mistakes, I am human.

"Autumn," I reply. She is one of our weakest mages. But... if she'll come, I want her with me. "And August, I suppose. Then just Ember." She nods. It's a small group. And the twins may not agree. But I'd prefer a small group. Fewer people to protect.

"The old team, back together again," she says. I smile.

"Everyone but Pete," I challenge. She looks down.

"Everyone but Pete," she agrees. She hasn't spoken to me about her family yet. Her father and her son. She must have seen them, as I slept. But we have time. We have time to talk about everything. Because we are never going to be apart again. We remain quiet for a long time before she finally changes the subject. "I met a sage, you know."

I look at her curiously. "And?" I prod.

"A real asshole. I think Ember may be on to something. But... he said something to me. About my... scars." Of course. Sara is wonderful. Sara is amazing. Sara is beautiful. And she has been leaving so much space for me, but she has her own trauma and grief to unpack. The very scars she mentions are fading and returning to her face like a holographic card. "He said that... anyone who acted like they didn't see them was lying." She leaves the question unasked. I nod.

"I see your scars, Sara," I answer. "Of course I see them. Just as you see mine. Just as you have seen mine all morning. Just as you saw mine when I came home last night and needed nothing more than you. Your scars are you. They are a part of you. I see them, and I think of them constantly. They are one of the sharpest aspects of your beauty." As I say this, they lock into place, covering her face again, exactly as they should. She takes a deep breath through her nose and smiles.

"Hey, Annie," she asks. "In your world... did they let women get married?" I give her a genuine, full-mouthed smile. The world is so dark. So hopeless. I hurt so, so much. I still can't reconcile the fact of Henry's... absence with reality. I can't. But I do have a sweet woman by my side. A woman who loves me, and a woman who hurts when I hurt.

We look out the window together, toward the east. There is a new world in front of us, and a newer one behind us. There are more chains left to break. I can move forward, if she can. I hold her hand in mine, and remember there is still hope, even when everything hurts the most.

End of Volume 3