Leo
I actually feel... something close to comfortable. Not what I used to feel around Charlotte and Lily but... something not entirely different. My hair is too long and well, a lot of things are wrong. But I am dressed half comfortably in public for the first time in a long time. A little like Lillith actually. And no one has even glanced at me twice as we walk down the empty path through the Radiant Woods. No sneers. No comments under their breath. Everyone has bigger things to hate than my clothes. I am marching toward a city with a spear on my back, ready to fight for my life and those around me, and I am the most comfortable I have been for a long time.
Because I am the one going. Leo. Someone like him, anyway. Closer than anyone here but Charlotte has met. And as far as everyone with me is concerned, that's all there is to it. Maybe they are all too focused. Maybe they are all too afraid. Maybe Charlotte has been out in public so much they've gotten used to the idea. Or maybe the church has been disposing of and hiding our existence for so long that they just never had a chance to learn they were supposed to hate us. Probably all of the above. But the result is this. I am almost happy. I might even remove my makeup before we make it, finally let my face touch the open air again.
It doesn't hurt that a massive weight has been lifted from my shoulders. For weeks I have been in a near panic about Lily and her brother, for no reason. He's been part of a trap the entire time. So when they were ready, they could lure the royal mages away from the city. Or so Lily finally explained to Charlotte today. If Charlotte hadn't been close to announcing the danger to the room and fighting to stop this entire plan, Lily probably wouldn't have said a word even then. I can't blame her, exactly. It did keep Ed safe, and it's the reason this plan isn't, frankly, insane. If I hadn't been so worried about Edward I would have been worried about this instead.
They may want Lily dead, sure, but they don't care who else gets hurt, and there was no way to guarantee all of them would be in the capital when she showed up. No way to get them all in the same place. Unless, of course, they had someone on the inside. Or, as Lily was apparently planning, trap someone on the inside and use them to draw the royals out. It's how she knew it was a safe time to attack, and it's how she's going to fight them without anyone else getting hurt. Not a terribly complex plan, but effective. Considering the certainty of other spies with our recruiting method, it was the best they could do. Give them the information anyway, from someone actually close to Lily. It makes me feel more confident. Charlotte is clearly still worried. She still seemed to want to get everyone to just turn around. But it's a high-stress situation, and I have confidence in Lily.
Two horrible walls of horror line our path. Fire and violence lie at the end. And I feel... light. I've left my room in more ways than one. But... something still bugs me. Some instinctive fear I've cultivated from years of needing to fear every time I need to buy groceries or go to the bathroom. Like standing on a precipice with only loose pebbles to secure my footing. The fear of heights where the heights follow you to the ground, offended you ever dared to climb to them in the first place. I give another cursory glance to the group around me. Still, no one watches me. No one smirks. No one does anything but march forward, carried by rage.
Perhaps it's the lie I still carry. The lie that offers me external safety while inviting the most dangerous thoughts, late at night. I decide I need to wipe the make-up off. If it's safe now, it will be safe without it. I try to convince myself of this, repeating it to myself again and again. If the threat isn't external, perhaps it's internal. I look toward the front. Charlotte is outpacing all of us by a significant distance. Two hundred paces maybe? I tried to keep up with her at first, but she told me she wanted to fight off anyone who might attack us before they could reach anyone else. It makes sense, so I have been hanging back. But she'll have a handkerchief I can use.
She won't mind if I catch up briefly. I feel lighter with each step, as I feel safer presenting myself. Maybe I'll ask her to help cut my hair on the road too. It won't look nice but... it will feel like breathing. Still, that sense of danger lingers. That anxiety like you get just before begging for food or money. Just before meeting someone powerful you know will hate you. That pounding in my heart which makes me want to find somewhere to flee. To back out. But I don't know what I need to back out of. Maybe I am just scared of making it to our destination. I've never fought before. Not effectively, anyway. And not when I had anyone on my side.
But that doesn't feel right. If anything, the idea of having people fighting by my side, fighting back and standing a chance of winning... it only makes me feel more free. It's something else. Something failing to line up, like clothes that are too small. What is it? Why did Ed wait until Lillith wasn't around to report about Ember? I know he was who I heard now. I know Lily knew it too. I get a little closer to Charlotte but slow down. Well, they certainly wouldn't want to do it in front of Ember. That's probably why they split up in the first place. So Lily could watch Ember while Ed reported. Yeah, that makes sense.
I pick up my pace again. It still wasn't following. What was the rush? If they didn't want Ember to hear their plan, they could have just waited for privacy. Wouldn't Lily have preferred to screen the information shared first? Yeah, they went ahead and shared things they would rather keep secret, but that was because some things were going to leak anyway, like a giant furry woman with a tail wandering around. But Details of Ember's country? Her allies? Surely Lily would have preferred these details remain private? Why wait for the first moment he was alone and immediately tell his contact everything? It didn't make sense.
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I pick up my pace, beginning to jog to catch up to Charlotte. This was it. Ed was playing both sides. He is a traitor, he must have been using the plan as cover so he'd have an excuse if he was caught. It has to be him, Charlotte is right. Only a few of us had that information. Ed and I were the only men there, and It was a man's voice I heard. I have to warn... My heartbeat speeds up. A possibility I refuse to acknowledge presents itself. I take a few more steps. I pause. Was it a man's voice? Or was it just a deep voice? I know better than anyone that the sound of your voice doesn't make you a man or a woman. I take a few more steps, more slowly this time.
It's hard to mask your voice when you speak in a whisper. Why would my whisper sphere pick up Ed's conversation anyway? It doesn't make any sense. A sphere calls who you want to call. Why would Ed want me to hear that? The only reason my sphere should have picked it up was if the caller wanted me to hear what they were saying. Or maybe... maybe if just some small part of them wanted me to. No. There was no chance. Why would she? She loves me. She relies on Lillith. There is absolutely no reason Charlotte would turn on us. I'm being silly. I need to stop letting the upcoming fight get in my head. I can trust no one like I trust Charlotte. Not even Lily.
But... what if she did? Lily told her... everything. But why would she tell me all of that? Well, I would have followed Lily if she didn't. And Charlotte does love me. Why else would even a small part of her have wanted me to catch her? It's that last thought when I realize it. I believe it. I don't know why, but somewhere, I do. I think Charlotte is the one who called them. And Lily told her the plan. All of it. She is so far ahead. To protect us? From whom? This road didn't exist two weeks ago. Any danger that can reach us can come from the woods beside us as easily as in front of us. No. No no no no.
My heart tries to beat out of my chest. Water runs down my cheeks, and I begin to walk heel to toe. Quitely. Suppressing my mana. Please. I have to be wrong. It is agony, trying to close the distance this way. Charlotte seems to be hunched over as I get closer. Snot begins to run out of my nose. My heart is beating too fast, my head is starting to pound. No. No no. I get close enough to hear whispering. This can't be happening. Why? Why would she? Why? I finally get close enough to make out words.
"Thank you, Charles. You have saved King Godfrey a great deal of trouble today," A smooth voice says.
No. Why?
"It's Charlotte. You know that, Ansel. And he'll keep up his end of the deal?" She responds in a whisper I recognize all too well.
"No," I say out loud before I can stop myself. Charlotte whirls on me with a look of horror on her face.
"Wait, Leo," she says reaching out for me with one hand.
"W-why?" I plead. Her frown jerks briefly into a hard frown, like one might have while fighting off a sob.
"It's not what it sounds like. It's for you. And Lillith. I'm trying to keep everyone safe, Leo, please," she begs. I reach to my side, looking for my whisper sphere. I have to warn Lily. "It's... it's not there. Please, hear me out," Charlotte says again. I turn on my heel and run back to the group behind us. I feel her begin to chase, her aura releasing and nearly knocking me off my feet. She won't hurt me, but I run like my life depends on it anyway. I feel pure mana trying to stop me, but if she restrains me too directly, they will notice something is off.
I have one chance. I throw all of my mana into a sound spell just to amplify my voice. "Warn Lillith! She's running into a trap!" I scream into the spell, and the third plane descends upon us.
"Leo, don't do this. Don't you trust me? No one is going to get hurt! Godfrey isn't going to harm anyone! He's offering clemency!" She insists. What is she talking about? Her mana finally catches up to me and forces me to the ground, knocking the air out of me. "Listen. You will never be safe in Lillith's world. I like her too, but surely you must see that. We will never, ever be safe and accepted. The best we can hope for is the strength to protect ourselves. You will never be able to leave your room again. Even if we both change completely, there will always be someone who remembers, and someone who hates us for it. We will never be people to anyone. But we can protect ourselves, in the right world. Please, Leo! Listen!"
No. No, I can't accept that. I understand what she is saying, but she is wrong. I need to tell her she is wrong. I understand it now. But again, I am forced into the dirt. Forced to submit. Forced to comply by someone stronger than me. Charlotte... this won't make us safe. It already failed me! I struggle to move as Charlotte hovers over me, pleading, begging me to understand. I don't even know if she is speaking to me or herself. And she is forcing me into the ground again. Again. Not again. I have to fight back!
Just when something in me is about to break, like wood under too much pressure, her mana disappears, all of the pressure with it. As the force releases, my struggling throws me too hard in the air for a moment, leaving my head to crack against the ground as I land. Everything spins. Physically and mentally, my world turns upside down. Reality is wrong. It's wrong. When I finally get my bearings and pull myself to my feet, Charlotte is wrestling the others.
"Stop her!" a man yells.
"Tie him up," another demands.
"Get the sphere back!" a woman cries. I look around and spot a riot spike in the ground. Sure enough, my mana is gone. At least four people are wrestling Charlotte, who is looking pleadingly at me, make-up running down her cheeks. Her hand is reaching out between her assailants, still begging me to understand. I step forward, reaching back. I still love her.
"Don't hurt her," I beg. They continue to wrestle. Has anyone warned Lily? Or did Charlotte somehow take everyone's sphere from them? I step forward, grabbing Charlotte's hand, only to get jerked forward. There are too many people trying to restrain her at once, we are moving too far. The road isn't wide enough for this.
"I got it," Someone yells, and I see the woman next to me grasping a whisper sphere. Of course, they have to warn Lillith. I hold Charlotte's hand tight. She didn't want to hurt anyone. I believe that much. "Shit, I dropped it, stop that," the woman curses as the sphere falls to the ground. It rolls away and the woman dives for it alongside another man. I move into the empty gap to hold Charlotte closer. I need her to understand. Her more than anyone. I need her to understand. The woman picks up the sphere and immediately tries to call someone.
Charlotte lunges to stop her, while I and the one man still trying to restrain her lunge after her. We all collapse into the woman, and into the Radiant Woods.