Peak of Autumn, Week 4, Day 7

After the Count had left, emotion overcame me, and I grabbed a ball of yarn and chucked it at the door. And then another. And another. Until 23 out of the 25 balls of yarn found themselves violently thrown across the room with an unsatisfactory soft thud. No matter how hard I threw, the thud hardly made a sound. I needed something heavier. I whipped my head to the next heaviest object, Noir, and grabbed him with as much force as I could muster. My arm was raised, half-cocked, and ready to launch him at the door.

I paused, gritting my teeth and jerkily lowering my arm.

“[Shadow Animation]” I hissed, ready to tell Noir to run or clean or hit, ready to test the limits of what I could convey in a single word. Ready to make the bunny satisfy my rage.

Instead, I took a breath and reminded myself, “Breathe.”

With a shock, I felt the ice of mana leave me. Bringing my arm back down, I looked at Noir more closely, checking to see if the command had truly caused the bunny to breathe. The answer was, of course, no. There was no gentle rise and fall of the bunny’s chest. I didn’t feel the wind of an exhale tickle my knuckles. Instead, the soft paws of the knit animal reached out toward me, struggling gently against my grip. I brought him closer to where he seemed to be reaching for –me. My anger was stalled due to my surprise. Noir continued to reach his arms out, clearly trying to get me to bring him ever closer. His struggling didn’t cease until his paw was firmly pressed against my chest. I held my breath, waiting to see what he would do. Only that seemed to be the wrong move because Noir immediately started tapping my chest with his paw. It wasn’t violent, not really. It was more insistent. I took a sharp breath, and Noir turned his head up to me and tapped my chest again as I held my inhale. Seconds later, he tapped me after I exhaled.

Breathe, I repeated to myself, tearing up, “You’re helping me breathe.”

I wiped my eyes with my free hand and continued breathing with guidance from Noir. Slow inhale, tap, slow exhale, tap, and repeat. After several minutes I began to feel the boiling anger beneath my skin calm. I continued staring at Noir, listening to his tapping –even when it intensified as my mind drifted, wondering what this meant. Wondering if this would ever happen again. Wondering if this was truly a part of me or if I had broken off something of myself and sacrificed it to create the current Noir. I took a slow inhale, tap, a slow exhale, tap, and repeated the process.

For twenty minutes, my bunny helped me calm down. Helped me find my composure. My will. Myself. And that was what he was, really. Noir had stopped being simply a knit animal to me. He was a partner, a friend, and I could give him life at will. He was all I had in this manor that rejected me at every turn. He was solace in the dark. Noir was so much more. And it may have been that I was simply starved for connection that caused me to cling to him, to embrace him even after the animation ended. But in elsewhere, there were golems much like Noir, called by different names and serving different purposes, but they had earned the respect of the Dome. And Noir had earned that from me. Because despite being made of magic, he had taken a part of me that was alive and made it all his own. Noir had proved he was capable of shaping the command word to suit his mood, and, in my turmoil, he showed me compassion. Every time.

“I don’t care if I’m projecting,” I decided, holding the bunny in front of me gently, “Noir, it’s you and me. You and me and this horrible house.”

As the cooldown ticked ever closer to zero, I found a new goal. The more I level [Shadow Animation], the more Noir could do. The more complicated he could act, the more freedom he possessed, the longer he could be around, and the less he would sit inanimate.

“[Shadow Animation]”

“Hug.”

It was self-indulgent, but I didn’t care. I had the rest of the night to contemplate what my orders would mean. And I enjoyed the feeling of Noir embracing me back. As the timer hit twenty, a green notice appeared.

[Congratulations! Shadow Animation is now Level 4! Class experience applied!]

Immediately I pulled used [Inspect].

[Shadow Animation: 3rd Tier Skill. Immediate activation. Duration of 25 minutes. Cooldown of 9 minutes. Current animation options: Wisp, Infusion. Current level of command comprehension: simple. Current number of commands able to be issued: 1. Current number of animations on a single summon: 1. Current level [4] out of [80].]

I stared at the singular change, the length of time. As soon as the cooldown hit zero, I began again.

“[Shadow Animation]”

The story has been taken without consent; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.

“Roam.”

Noir toddled around, going from me to the edges of the near-empty room and back again. He looked under the bed, in the pile of yarn, and on the lowest shelf of the bookcase before he went inanimate once again.

“[Shadow Animation]”

“Collect.”

Noir rolled all 23 balls of yarn back to me, working slowly to get them stacked into a pile. It was clear that ‘simple’ commands were more than just the word used. They still sent meaning through whatever mana construct was connecting us. There was no other explanation for the care that Noir put into organizing the yarn.

…

“[Shadow Animation]”

“Dance.”

…

“[Shadow Animation]”

“Play.”

It was late into the night when Noir was rolling one of the green balls of yarn that I had tucked under the comforter back and forth. At one point, as my eyes were drooping, he began rolling one ball of yarn into the other and even attempted to stack them like building blocks —which, of course, ended in one of the balls of yarn rolling down and away on the bed.

I awoke to light from the suns filtering in through the window and the undeniable presence of the System rewarding my late night antics.

[Congratulations! Shadow Animation is now Level 5! New features unlocked! Class experience applied!]

[Shadow Animation: 3rd Tier Skill. Immediate activation. Duration of 30 minutes. Cooldown of 8 minutes. Current animation options: Wisp, Infusion, Weapon (small). Current level of command comprehension: simple. Current number of commands able to be issued: 2. Current number of animations on a single summon: 2. Current level [5] out of [80].]

I took a moment before—

“[Inspect]”

[Current animation options: Wisp, Infusion, Weapon (small)]

[Wisp: An amorphous blob of shadow with substance manifested for the sole purpose of being animated.]

[Infusion: Utilize pre-created shadow constructs and animate them based on the ability of the construct.]

[Weapon (small): Utilize small weapons no larger than 100 cm^3. Can only consist of weapons capable of being shaped at the current level of Shadow Manipulation.]

I stared at the list of animations and felt a comfort seep out of me. I had Noir –and I had another way to gain power. It was a gift to wake up to. A gift I had earned through the torture that was living in Gargantua. In Maeve. In this house.

I cleared away the System notices and rolled over to grab Noir, who had been left inanimate a mere foot from me as I had drifted to sleep.

[Shadow Animation]

I felt the power run through me as I used the Skill, a small sense of pride at the ability to use it nonverbally clenched my heart as the ice of mana flooded the air surrounding me and sank into Noir’s body. With a thought, I stretched my arm over the edge of the bed and grabbed the knit panda I had been working on over the past few days. It was yet to have a name, like the other knit animals packed away. I felt my mana extend past my fingers and sink into the mix of black and iridescent yarn body.

“Follow me.”

Two words this time, rather than one. The potential for more complicated sentences. Both knit animals began shifting in my hands. Sliding off the bed, I placed them both down and took a tentative step away from them before looking back over my shoulder. Both animals were toddling after me, Noir smoother than the panda. I kneeled low, waiting for them to reach me.

“Noir and–” I let thoughts of darkness and shadow fill me, a smile twitching on my face, “Haze. There, now you both have names that suit you.”

I spent the morning circling my room, watching Noir and Haze track my moves and attempt to follow me. At one point, I had climbed back into the bed and waited for them to follow, only to see them both distressingly reaching up the edge of the bed frame, jumping with their short legs, unable to climb up. I promptly grabbed them both and placed them gently on the mattress to allow them to pursue their goals.

Mid-morning, I braved what was left of my closet to find a bag –of which there were somehow still half a dozen displayed, each in a different shade of purple. I grabbed a deep purple with indigo and gold embroidery. I had yet to bathe, and so I picked an outfit that matched the bag and went to get ready. Rather than braiding my hair, I left it wild –simply combing it while it was wet and waiting for it to inevitably re-coil and flow like a black mane around me. Tucking Noir and Haze into the bag, I wore it over my shoulder and took the only path I still felt comfortable using –the window.

I made my way through the hedge maze, pausing at the fork in the path –where I usually veered right to get to the clearing Eunora loved to laze in. Only, the Count had mentioned a set of knights had arrived with him –and they would be taking me to Fellan. The borderlands. It was the edge of the Dawn territory, bordering Calsta. It’s a two-month trip to arrive by carriage, an unfathomable distance to travel in solitude.

Eunora had only ever met the knights at the manor and only in passing when they were doing rounds. There were a few whose names she had remembered, a few whose names she had forgotten, and many who she wouldn’t recognize in a lineup. Perhaps now was the time to meet them, to make an impression more than a disobedient, disloyal child.

I swallowed. Eunora was scared, I could feel her fear of rejection coursing through me. It was different than the pain she had when it came to her family. This fear was more visceral, turning my stomach and causing bile to rise up my throat.

Eunora, you poor anxious child, I groaned to myself. Her anxiety was eating me alive –only that was just it. It was hers. These knights were charged to protect, I knew I didn’t need to fear them –whether they liked me or not, though one was clearly more preferential.

I took a breath, feeling for my Skills.

“[Sophism]”

The world slowed and came awash with red light before settling into strands of pink and white. Whenever I looked down the path leading to the training grounds, the color intensified to a deep crimson.

Brel would hate what I planned to do next. Grel, unfortunately, would love it.