Chapter Seven
One Cat Scratches Another
“You look adorable when you bleed,” Sardius said to Jenna. With a mock flourish, he presented her with a pack of gauze to stop the bleeding.
“You’re hilarious,” she said, taking it and putting pressure on the cut on her collarbone.
“Who was it who told you that if you let Charm stay with Lucy and Armen, you might lose her affection?”
It was Sardius who had told her that, but she couldn’t attribute the quote to him now since he wasn’t answering to that name. “Shut up, Ryatt,” she said, bored and rolling her eyes. “I didn’t expect her to forget me so completely. My only comfort is that Arman also got the hell scratched out of him.”
“Why is that a comfort?”
Jenna wobbled her hand and prepared to explain something confusing. “I’m not so cross with him over what happened when he was my designated husband that I want him scratched. I’m just glad Charm didn’t fall in love with him and his being scratched is evidence that she didn’t. It’s much better to know that the object of your affection hates everyone and not just you.”
“We’ll get you cleaned up and then we’ll introduce her to Moonbeam.”
“Maybe that’s a mistake,” Jenna said as Sardius readied the cream to make her cut look healed, even if it wasn’t.
“It’s not a mistake. If I’m a betting man, and you have no idea what my gambler level is, I am going to bet that Charm is going to love Moonbeam.”
“That can’t happen if Charm hates everyone,” Jenna said scornfully.
“Moonbeam has better manners than you and I think Charm will sense that immediately. I think they’ll cozy up to each other. You just don’t think that’s possible because you are the sort of person who loves dangerous things and you want to see them scrap.”
“I do not,” Jenna denied emphatically. “I’m the sort of girl who likes a cup of tea and a good book.”
“Yeah, a good book about butchering butterflies,” Sardius intoned almost musically. “How self-deluded can you get? You have no idea who you’re trying to shack up with, my dear,” he said, turning the conversation to himself. “Sardius is a famous criminal, and you have never once asked me how many people he’s killed. You don’t seem to care.”
She huffed. She had grown to hate talking about him in the third person. “Forget Sardius. What about you? I’m sure you have some gory stories up your sleeve. Go ahead. Take off all your clothes and tell me the story behind each one of your scars.”
He looked at her like she was the devil. “Maybe later, when you’re feeling less grouchy. It’s not your fault. Misha and Josh made you start trying on outfits for the photoshoot with Favel and you had to go out to meet Lucy and Armen in that outfit.” He looked down at her clothing and smothered a snicker.
It was a blue-scaled bodysuit with a white tutu. It was quite probable that both the bodysuit and the skirt were ruined since the blood splattered in an unfortunate pattern all the way to Jenna’s knees.
“All part of my plan to get out of wearing this,” she scoffed with her arms crossed. “If Charm didn’t scratch me, she would have scratched the tulle of this skirt.”
“Whatever you say,” he said blankly as he peered into the carrying case Charm was housed in after her attack on Jenna.
He stuck a finger between the bars, but the cat didn’t swipe. She only hissed.
“Moonbeam is in the front hall, asleep in her tray. Maybe Charm won’t even acknowledge her.”
Sardius finished treating Jenna’s wound, helped her off the stool in the bathroom, picked up Charm’s crate, and took them both to the hall. Just as he said, Moonbeam was asleep in a tray that had been covered in fur. Despite Jenna’s complaints, he waved her away and set Charm’s crate down a few feet away from Moonbeam. Then he quietly slid open the door.
What happened after that stunned Jenna.
Charm didn’t come out of the crate immediately but poked her head out and looked around. When she was ready, a little white paw touched the tile. She didn’t do much exploring, but instead, hurried to Moonbeam. She sniffed her, prowled around her curiously, and then put out a paw to place it inside the tray. Moonbeam opened her eyes and looked at Charm, but closed them again, like whatever Charm did was of no concern of hers.
Five minutes later, Charm was cuddled up next to Moonbeam and both of them were napping.
Jenna furrowed her brow. “How did you know that was going to happen?”
“Furlees are like capybaras. All the other animals love them. They’re so chill. The exact opposite of you. But maybe this whole situation,” he said, indicating the whole of the palace with a wave of his hand, “has made you more high-strung than you used to be on Earth.”
Jenna shrugged. “Why is everyone getting after me about my stress levels lately? I’m not wound up that tight. I just have a lot on my shoulders. And to make matters worse, I have to go talk to Armen and Lucy. Do you want to walk to the Salt Palace with me?”
He nodded. “Why are you asking? I can’t let you out of my sight.”
The Dahlia Palace was anchored next to the Stone Palace on one side, so Jenna had to take an inner walkway attached to Excelyn’s palace to get to the Salt Palace.
“Did you know that Fallcet heard the news of Favel building you a palace of your own and he’s put in a request to take residence of the Dahlia palace after you leave?” Sardius asked.
“I hadn’t heard that,” she admitted, her skin crawling. “I imagine he thinks he’ll get some prestige from having my palace after I leave like that means he’ll take my position as chair of the committee once I’ve been replaced or something. I guess he thinks it’s tradition since Arvantis was the chair of the committee before me.”
Sardius chuckled. “Please tell me you don’t believe any of that crap that just came out of your mouth.”
Jenna moaned. “I’d like to believe that instead of believing something weird like that he wants to sleep in my bed.” She stopped and rubbed her eyes so hard, it almost looked like she was trying to gouge out her eyeballs. “I can’t even think about him. He’s not an issue. If he’s not doing something that requires my immediate attention, I refuse to think about him. Back to our conversation about the palaces. Yes, Philip is going to live with Excelyn, but it would be better to keep the Sand Palace empty so guests can stay there. We can’t let anyone move in and frankly, after everything that has happened there since the very first guests came to stay, I don’t want to use it for anything other than guests.” She turned to him with red eyes. “Even if I don’t serve as a diplomat, this is my circus and these are my monkeys, so I get to decide who lives where.”
“And you’ll let Fallcet take the Dahlia Palace?” Sardius persisted.
“I have no idea,” Jenna deferred. “For now, I want him in the Sand Palace because I still don’t think of his recruitment as permanent. I don’t know why I think that. It’s not like we can get the crown off his head. It’s permanent, but… I want him here like he’s a guest until my new palace is ready. By then, I will have assigned the other palaces to new diplomats, and the only palace that will be left will be the Dahlia Palace. It’s just bad luck that it’s mine.” She huffed. “I really hope the palace Favel makes for me is as good as the Dahlia Palace. That place really grew on me.”
Sardius put his hands behind his head as they walked together by the sea. “It was my favorite too.”
Jenna cracked her neck as they climbed the stairs that led them to the Salt Palace. She couldn’t stop things from changing. They were supposed to change.
The first sight they received was of Lucy sunning herself on the deck, her belly huge with a baby inside. Actually, her belly looked unnaturally big. Was she carrying twins, or triples, or an entire baseball team? Jenna shuddered at the sight of her. Lucy looked so uncomfortable, she was unbearable to look at. It should be mentioned that Jenna’s reaction to Lucy was not her normal reaction to the sight of a pregnant woman. It was Lucy specifically that made her teeth ache. Her cousin looked terrible. She had acne all over her face, down her neck, and chest. Her face was swollen and so were her ankles. It also seemed that she was so sunburnt that her hair had turned a most unnatural shade of reddish blonde.
“Due soon, cuz?” Jenna said instead of saying hello. It was the most polite thing she could think of to say.
“I’ve been due every day for a week,” Lucy confessed.
“You didn’t need to come if you were this pregnant. Actually, you didn’t need to send Armen if you needed him to help you with the baby. He could have come after you were settled. Besides, I don’t need to talk to him for long. Only a minute or two. Would you like me to call a pod for you so you can give birth at home?”
Lucy rolled her eyes and put a pair of sunglasses over her eyes in a gesture of annoyance. “Jenna, you are such a snob. You walked up and you didn’t thank me for looking after your cat or bringing her personally back to you.”
Jenna bit her lip on a thousand things she wanted to say.
“I came with Armen on purpose at this time. I want to have my baby here,” Lucy said grandly. “It’s appropriate, don’t you think?”
“Come again?” Jenna asked, hoping she had misheard something.
“When I have my baby, I want you to crown them,” Lucy said distinctly so Jenna couldn’t fail to understand her.
Unauthorized content usage: if you discover this narrative on Amazon, report the violation.
Jenna chose to focus on the least upsetting part of that sentence. “Them? Are you having more than one?”
“Just one,” Lucy said irritably, running a hand over her bare belly.
“Do you not know if it’s a boy or a girl?” Jenna asked, curious in a completely unhealthy way.
“We don’t know yet. Armen is the kind of Adamis that chooses its own gender around the age of three. So, we don’t know.”
Jenna smiled. “Well, that’s exciting. Though, I don’t recommend having your baby in the Salt Palace. At the very least, we should choose a hospital for you to deliver here on Octavia Prime if you don’t want to go back home to Octavia Five before the baby is born.” Jenna tapped her earpiece, “Ixy, can you get me a list of hospitals where Lucy could have her baby?”
“No, Jenna!” Lucy squealed. “I’m having my baby right here. I don’t want to leave and have you refuse to crown it.”
Seeing Lucy’s resolute face, Jenna pursed her lips and sat down in the shade of an umbrella next to Lucy’s chair. “Lucy,” she said patiently. “I can’t crown your baby. It doesn’t matter where it’s born. Whether it is born on Octavia Five, at a hospital here, or in the Salt Palace. I need diplomats who are ready to serve and your baby will not be ready to serve for decades.”
“You were crowned as a baby!” Lucy remarked loudly.
“Yes. And having experienced that, I wouldn’t recommend it. I need adults. We can talk about it again later.”
“You’ll put me off again later,” Lucy whined.
“Then get a clue,” Jenna replied cruelly, losing her composure.
“You don’t have to take it out on me that Armen liked me better,” Lucy spat.
Looking at Lucy spread out the deck chair like chunky peanut butter someone couldn’t get flat, Jenna couldn’t imagine being jealous of Lucy for Armen’s sake. Even if Jenna had liked him, being pregnant with his child looked like a horror movie.
Jenna sighed and then she prepared to say something that was a complete and utter lie. She glanced at Sardius and hoped that he knew she was lying. “You’re right. I wish we could trade places. Why couldn’t Armen have loved me? Then I’d be the one having his baby and not you! It’s so unfair. There you are living peacefully in my grandfather’s home playing house and I’m here, working my tail off?”
Lucy’s mouth hung open. Clearly, that was the last thing she ever expected to hear Jenna say.
“Can’t you have your baby somewhere else?” Jenna continued, unable to meet Sardius’ gaze. “Somewhere where I can’t see you and the happy little family you’ve become?”
Lucy sat up with great effort and, turning to face Jenna, she put her feet on the ground. “Jenna, I’m sorry things turned out the way they did, but I can’t leave until you’ve crowned my baby. I couldn’t face myself if I let the chance for my family to have a crown slip through my fingers again.”
At first, Jenna didn’t know what she was talking about. Then it clicked. Lucy thought that she would have been crowned as a diplomat if she hadn’t gotten pregnant with Armen’s child. Nothing could have been further from the truth. Jenna never would have crowned her no matter what happened. Putting aside every annoyance that had ever sprung up between them, Lucy was not the type who would make a good diplomat. She caved at every suggestion, changed her mind at every new piece of information, and deliberately went against Jenna just to be contrary. As for Armen, he never could have been crowned. He was Jenna’s third husband and then he was exiled.
Jenna almost face-palmed herself.
“I have to take my place here,” Lucy said sternly, sounding almost exactly the way Jenna sounded when she was stern, which made it extra gross.
“Let me see if I understand this correctly,” Jenna said in a voice that was the very opposite of stern. It was fluid and giving, allowing Lucy to say whatever she wanted to say in return. “You’re saying that you want to stay here until your baby is crowned, but when your baby is crowned you plan to stay in the Salt Palace?”
“I would have to stay here until my baby was ready to serve as a diplomat, wouldn’t I? You would be the perfect auntie, helping me and Armen raise the baby. Like a real family,” Lucy said enthusiastically.
It was at that moment that Jenna realized that Lucy also wanted Jenna to babysit her baby. The horror washed over her like someone had just poured hot maple syrup all over her.
Ixy cut in. “I don’t have immediate access to the rail guns in the Salt Palace, but if you say the word, Jenna, I’m sure I can get access.”
Jenna didn’t answer Ixy. “I’m not your baby’s auntie,” she said calmly to Lucy, still keeping her voice as soft as possible. “Through you, I’m their second cousin once removed. Through his father, your baby is my ex-husband’s child.”
“But you never had a real relationship with Armen,” Lucy said hurriedly.
“Yeah… I didn’t,” Jenna agreed. “Look, Lucy. It’s clear that you don’t understand my circumstances. I can’t be your baby’s auntie. I have a job to do that has nothing to do with you.”
“Armen and I could help you with your diplomatic work and wouldn’t it be amazing for Celestina to do a show on your growing family?” Lucy said, offering everything she could think of.
“You want to be a reality TV star?” Jenna gasped. “That’s the last thing in the world I need.”
“You just aren’t thinking about this,” Lucy continued. “If you really considered how great it would be to have a child running around the palaces and all the unique footage Celestina could get, I’m sure you’d change your mind…”
Jenna had begun crying. If it appeared that she was crying because she was tortured at the thought of having Lucy and Armen’s child running around all beautiful under her nose, then she was lucky. Instead, she was crying because if she didn’t cry, she’d stand up and beat Lucy’s head with the first rock she could grab. As it was, she was eyeing a particularly large hunk of pink salt that had a lamp inside it.
Lucy said more before she noticed Jenna’s emotional state. “See?” Lucy said kindly. “You need us here. All this is too much for you.”
Jenna stood up and looked down at Lucy. ”I need you to leave. I am completely inflexible on the issue of crowning your unborn child. I won’t do it. I need adult diplomats. Thank you for taking care of my cat. I wish you all the best in your delivery and your family in the future. I only need to talk to Armen for a moment and then I’ll be off. We should say goodbye now.”
Lucy stood up. “Surely, we need to talk about this more.”
Jenna put her arms around her cousin for a microsecond. Lucy didn’t even have time to return the hug.
Turning to Sardius, Jenna asked, “Where’s Armen?”
“He’s on the front deck, pacing.”
“Goodbye,” Jenna said to Lucy and walked away.
“Wait,” Lucy said, waddling behind her. “I’m coming too.”
Jenna did not wait for her. Instead, she pushed ahead, listening for the beat of Sardius’ feet behind her.
When she came around the Salt Palace, she saw Armen and was in for an unexpected delight. Seeing Lucy looking so much worse for wear did not make Jenna happy. Seeing Armen look so much worse for wear made her very happy. An evil smile spread across her features and helped to dry her face. She hoped to pass the look off as welcoming. “Hello, Armen,” she said in her perfectly professional tone.
He turned toward her. His tan was faded, he was thinner, and she spotted a whole patch of his hair had turned gray in the back. Did he know about it?
Armen put out his hand. “Nice to see you, Jenna.”
She shook his hand and glanced at his ear. The PA’s earpiece was still there.
“I suppose you know why I wanted to see you,” she said brightly.
“No. I haven’t the faintest clue,” he said, trying to look like he honestly expected nothing.
Jenna knew he was lying. What he thought was written all over his face. He thought that he and Lucy were there because at least one of the three of them was going to be crowned.
Jenna wasn’t cruel enough to make him wait to find out that his hopes were being dashed to pieces. “I came to ask you for your earpiece back.”
“Oh,” he said, touching it, but not immediately removing it. Armen dropped his hand. “Sorry. I just didn’t expect to hear you say that. I was worried about what coming here would mean. If I’d be welcome or not. I wasn’t sure. Was I only invited to return the earpiece?”
Jenna nodded. “Is it still working?”
“Yes. No one bothered to reassign him. If you remember, his name is Jisbet.”
Jenna’s eyebrow twitched. “Really? May I speak to him? Ixy, can you patch me through?”
“No need,” Ixy said with a giggle in Jenna’s ear. “I know what’s going through your mind, Madam Diplomat. You are curious about how his PA could be a man when hardly anyone lived through the prison riot over at the men’s prison?”
“Exactly,” Jenna said to Ixy, pleased Armen couldn’t hear Ixy’s half of the conversation. “What’s the explanation?”
“His he is a she and her cell is above ours. She uses a voice-altering program. Armen thinks she’s male and a tiny octopus in his ear. Jenna, if I have ever earned any favor in your sight, please do not tell him that Jisbet is a woman. It would ruin so many things.”
Jenna rolled her eyes and turned back to Armen. He had no idea that he was being gawked at in his private moments by a cluster of women in a prison. “It’s a relief that you’ve kept the earpiece in good condition,” she said to Armen. “Can you please remove it for me?”
Armen kept his hands at his sides. “I’m afraid not. It’s glued in.”
Jenna nodded. “I see. Ryatt, would you do the honor?” She took a step back.
Sardius snapped open his boot and retrieved a cruel-looking instrument that had multiple pointy parts.
The day got more satisfying as Sardius loomed over Armen. Jenna hadn’t realized that Armen was kind of a small guy before. His skin was too smooth too. He looked smaller and wussier than even Fallcet and that was saying something.
Armen squirmed while Sardius palmed his head and put the tool in his ear.
Lucy chose that exact moment to come around the corner. She screamed.
Armen turned his head.
The earpiece popped right out.
“Got it,” Sardius said pleasantly before he returned the tool to his boot.
Jenna let Armen explain to Lucy what they were doing.
When he was finished, Jenna waved a farewell wave to them. “Have a good trip back to Octavia Five. As a baby present, I’ve decided to give you my grandfather’s house.” After the two of them had lived there, Jenna wasn’t going to want to go there ever. It was all right. After all, it wasn’t really her grandfather’s house anymore.
“Wait!” Armen said, closing the distance between them. “Don’t you care about the house itself? It’s that too much of a sacrifice?”
“Don’t worry about a single thing. Take it with my compliments. I hope the three of you have a beautiful life together.”
“Are you cutting us off?” Armen said, chasing after Jenna and Sardius.
Lucy was following too, but at a much slower pace.
“Let’s not call it that,” Jenna said over her shoulder. “Just take care of your family, Armen. Ryatt, sever the connection to the Salt Palace and let it go adrift.”
She turned back to Armen. She and Sardius were on the dock of the Stone Palace and Armen and Lucy were on the dock of the Salt Palace. Sardius had opened the locks and the Salt Palace was floating away.
“You shouldn’t do this. Lucy will call all the news outlets. She’ll say things you wouldn’t even imagine,” Armen shouted across the distance.
“And every time she does, I will say that I love her like a sister, no matter what she says about me. I wish you all the best. Say whatever pleases you. I’m too busy to watch the news. I have far too much work to do. A pod will arrive at your door within the hour. It will take you anywhere you want to go. You can decide when to take it, but my hospitality does not extend any further than the end of today. Goodbye.” Jenna turned on her heel and walked away without a backward glance.
“You didn’t owe Lucy that pack of assuaging lies,” Sardius said to Jenna, referring to what she said about being jealous of her pregnancy and of her marriage to Armen.
“Yeah… I did,” she said wistfully as they walked back.
“Why?”
“Because I’m never giving her anything else. I don’t care that she took Armen. She didn’t exactly take him. He chose her over me and that’s fine. I’m glad he did.” Then she spoke to Ixy. “Please let me know when they’ve left.”
“They’re arguing. I’m listening through the microphones. Now, I like listening to people fight, but this is next level. Lucy is a piece of work. I’ve never heard you rage like that, Jenna.”
“Stop listening to them, Ixy. Just let me know when they’ve left. I need to have them off my mind before the AAMC nominees get here.”
***
Lucy and Armen left later that night when she went into labor. Naturally, Jenna did not hear if they had a boy or a girl.