THRUMMM.

Levi whirled, startled. “What in the hell?”

A black hole opened up between his cell and the next one. A distant galaxy glimmered in the hole’s heart. All around it, space distorted and churned.

Levi blinked. “A Gate? Whaaaa…? How? You can’t be there!”

The Gate, which had no problem existing right there, continued to exist.

Clicking his tongue, Levi circled it as best he could from his cell. “Couldn’t have spawned between me and the way out, huh? Right in the middle of the cell. Dammit.”

“What’s going on?” the man with elongated limbs asked, sitting up out of a dead sleep.

“Hell if I know,” Levi muttered. He glanced around, then grabbed a handful of water and threw it into the hole.

The water vanished, the same as anything thrown in a Gate vanished.

“Hey! What’re you doing?” the man asked, running to his side of the bars.

“Tickling the Gate,” Levi replied matter-of-factly. He grabbed another handful of water and threw it in the Gate. “You know what they say about gift horses and mouths, and all that.”

“Stop that. Hey! Stop it! What if the monster spawns on my side?”

“Good luck, have fun.” Splash.

“No—no, that is not the right answer! I’m suppressed! I don’t have any skills!” the man protested.

“Skrub. Sounds like a skill issue,” Levi replied. Another handful of water vanished into the Gate’s ceaselessly churning maw. He paused, thinking, then leaned in, putting the edge of the surviving suppressor cuff into the Gate.

“What the—what if you fall in?” the other man gasped.

“What if I fall in? You know, I’ve never tried that,” Levi commented. He gazed into the Gate.

The Gate stared back. Hungry. No—ravenous.

“And I’m a tasty little snack.” He pulled his wrist out of the Gate, and the suppressor cuff fell away. The part that had dipped into the Gate was gone, cut off as smoothly as a laser.

“Huh. I’ve got a new idea for a business,” Levi said. He picked up the remaining cuff and tossed it in.

The Gate trembled. The fissures at the edges of the dark maw shuddered, then broke open, fracturing deeper into the fabric of reality.

“You’re a tasty little snack?” the man in the next cell asked.

Levi blinked. He gave the man a weird look. “The hell?”

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“You just said that.”

Levi tossed his head and stuck his hip out, giving the man a sultry look. “Oooh, don’t eat me, daddy.”

The man retreated. “I regret saying anything.”

“As you should.”

Levi tried the cot, but it was firmly secured to the wall, and one yank was enough to remind him that his thumb was too broken for that shit. He abandoned it, leaving the cot where it was, and went back to tossing water in.

“Stop tickling the Gate! It’s not funny,” the other man demanded.

“First, I’m not trying to be funny.” Levi ladled another handful in. “Second, it is funny, and third, fuck you, you can’t stop me.” Another splash.

The man rushed the bars. He jabbed his arm through, clawing toward Levi.

“Oooh, almost had me!” Levi cried, shaking his butt at the man mockingly. He continued splashing water in to the Gate.

“You fucking maniac!”

“Guilty as charged.”

“Stop! You’ll kill us both!”

“Le gasp! I can’t imagine anything worse than that!”

“I’m in here for public drunkenness, dammit!”

Levi glanced at him. “Did you piss in public, too?”

“Yes, but—”

Tutting, Levi shook his head. “That’s a sexual offense. Mmm-mmm. A sexual offender in the cell next to me? I can’t believe they’d put me in such danger.”

“What are you in here for?” the other man demanded.

“They haven’t mentioned, but I’m assuming first degree murder, second degree murder, probably third degree too, aggravated assault, manslaughter, mass murder—wait, that falls into first degree murder, so just multiple counts—uh, racketeering, conspiracy, and jaywalking.”

The man stared. “What.”

“I know, right? A jaywalker, in next to a sexual offender. Police these days.” Levi shook his head.

“Who are you?” he asked, backing to the wall.

“The guy who’s about to get outta here.” Levi splashed water again, and the Gate gaped wide open. Mysterious shapes churned in its depths. A horrifying howl echoed from the heart of the Gate.

“Here they come!” Levi stared into the Gate excitedly. He clapped his hands, only to wince as his thumb smashed his other palm. “Ow, ow, ow.”

A monster rushed out of the Gate. All teeth and brutal muscule, it roiled to the surface. Levi bounced in place, his eyes shining. “Come on, come on, come on!”

The monster landed in the other guy’s cell. Levi stared, his hands spread. “Hey! Who tickled you? Come to daddy, damn it!”

“Get it fucking out of here!” the other man screamed.

The monster turned. It lurched toward the other man.

“Hey! Come to daddy. Come to daddy!”

Ignoring Levi, the monster jumped on the other man. Horrible screams bounced off the cinderblock. Blood splattered, and gore flew.

Levi stared at the man dying and sighed. “God, I wish that were me.”

From outside the cell, a chubby police officer waddled in at speed. “What the hell is—Holy fuck!”

“Wait! Let me out! Please, let me out!” Levi shouted. He ran to the front and shook the bars with his good hand.

The police officer spun on his heel and vanished.

“Fuckin’ pig!” Levi shouted after him. He paused. “Because you’re fat, specifically, not because you’re a cop!”

The Gate trembled again. Another monster appeared, this time on Levi’s side. It stomped toward him, the brutal light in its eyes hungry.

Levi put his back to the bars. “Okay, so just once, okay? Go for it. You can eat me, whatever, but just do it onc—”

His protests were replaced by maddened screaming, and for a second time, blood splattered across the cinderblock.

[You lost a life!]

[Lives remaining: -17268]

DEBUG: Corruption Level HIGH [URGENT] | Ability Points non-degraded | status DEGRADED [worsening]

Press X to reallocate your ability points.

Monsters poured out of the Gate. They filled up the small cells, then turned to the bars, the walls. They smashed through, breaking cinderblock and twisting iron. The monsters spilled out into the police station and rampaged.

Levi opened his eyes in the corner. A monster’s face stared him right in the eyes.

“Uh-oh, I’m in danger,” Levi murmured. He grinned.

[You lost a life!]

[Lives remaining: -17269]

DEBUG: Corruption Level HIGH [URGENT] | Ability Points non-degraded | status DEGRADED [worsening]

Press X to reallocate your ability points.