Levi sprinted toward Blasterman. As he ran, he pulled back his fist, preparing to punch Blasterman in his infinitely punchable face. Blasterman’s eyes widened. Seeing the attack coming, he began to lift his arms to block.

Levi slammed his foot down and burst forward, using all his SPD all at once. The unexpected jolt of speed pushed him in faster than Blasterman raised his arms. His fist smashed into Blasterman’s nose. A distinct crack rang out, and Blasterman’s head snapped to the side.

“Hahahaha, worth it, totally worth it,” Levi crooned.

He’d barely finished the line when Blasterman’s fist made contact with his gut. The blow lifted him off his feet and sent him flying into the audience. He smashed through a table and struck the ground. Temporarily stunned, he laid there for a few moments as the world spun around him.

A dark shape loomed. Three overlapping copies of Blasterman approached him, eyes sparkling with red light. Levi struggled to push himself upright. His head spun, limbs still refusing to obey him.

He turned his head to the side, looking at his fist. Broken bones and a bloody mess awaited him. The crack hadn’t come from Blasterman’s nose, but his hand.

White Claw’s notes were right. White Fang? White something, man. Dumb name, but she had good notes, and that’s the point. Blasterman was invulnerable, or at least heavily armored. Mere flesh wouldn’t break through his invulnerability. But then, he hadn’t expected it. Levi grinned at his shattered hand. That punch wasn’t to kill. That punch was for him.

“Fuck you and your fuckin’ perfect nose!” Levi shouted from the table. Fighting the stun, he managed to rise to almost a sit before he fell back down. His face wrinkled. Fuck. That hit rattled me.

“Who are you? You aren’t a server. You aren’t a super,” Blasterman rumbled, the light building up in his eyes.

“I’m the ghost of Christmas past,” Levi said. He giggled, waggling his good hand’s fingers spookily at Blasterman.

His head spun. Blasterman still wobbled before him. This one’s a wash. I gotta get him to attack again, so I can get started on the next go-round.

“Are those your last words?” Blasterman asked.

“I dunno, big boy, you gonna make ‘em be?” Levi replied. He flipped Blasterman off once, then, with great effort, curled his ruined hand to flip him off a second time.

Blasterman’s face turned dark. Red light flashed. Levi threw his hands out, welcoming oblivion.

[You lost a life!]

[Lives remaining: -17257]

DEBUG: Corruption Level Medium [WARNING] | Ability Points non-degraded | status GOOD

Press X to reallocate your ability points.

Levi’s eyes snapped open. He peered around from the ruins of his smashed table, taking a moment to reacclimate himself to life.

If it had been chaos before, it was pandemonium now. Supers ran, flew, swam on the air, blasted each other, shot strange projectiles…it was like a elementary school food fight, but with super powers. Barely an inch of airspace remained unoccupied, what with all the things flying through the air.

If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.

He climbed out of the rubble, searching for Blasterman as he did. In the mess of flying suits and super-suits, it took him a moment to spot Blasterman’s punchable face. The man hovered up near the ceiling, staring intently at a brightly colored super fighting a woman in a sequined ball gown.

Levi pursed his lips. “Less than ideal. How do I get him down?”

The woman in sequins fell to the ground. Blasterman leaned forward, tilting his head to watch the sequins flash.

“Easy.” Levi sprinted over to the woman and the fighting super. He drew his knife from his backpack and grabbed the tail of the woman’s skirt. She whirled, annoyed, and punched at him. He ducked. Her fist whooshed over his head. Before she could turn and punch again, he slashed her skirt. A big section of sequined fabric fell away.

“Thanks, sorry, bill Blasterman,” Levi told her. She grabbed at him again. Before her arms closed around him, the man she was fighting kicked her in the ass. She stumbled forward, then whirled. Grabbing the man, she threw him across the theater, then chased after him.

Levi hefted the sequined fabric. He gave it a little wiggle, making the sequins flash at Blasterman. “It’s not red, but come on and charge anyways.”

Blasterman’s eyes lit up. Red light flashed across the room.

Startled, Levi ducked. Two holes burned in the sequins. He looked at the fabric, then at Blasterman. “That’s not what the bull’s supposed to do.”

Blasterman silently stared at him, weaving silently left and right in the air.

The rear door slammed open. A bunch of homeless people poured inside, led by a human-sized hand and a rather large green-skinned man. The homeless people grabbed up the dropped gift bags and abandoned purses, some of them sprinting out immediately, others braving the mess to search out more loot.

“Hell yeah! Eat the rich! Metaphorically,” Levi cheered.

Some of the supers rounded on them. The homeless people fought back, some with powers of their own, but not all were so lucky. Levi winced as a homeless person went flying. “Oof. Punching homeless people? Not a good look, Dartheart.”

Seeing Levi, Rose jumped on her fingertips and wiggled her wrist stump in greeting. The eyes in her finger-cracks smiled at him. Beside her, Handel followed, as emotionless as usual. He stood at least seven feet tall, his body was full-muscled, and the rose on his head was fluffy, but he wasn’t as enormous as the last time Levi had seen him.

Levi’s eyes widened, and he grinned. Waving back, he ran over. “Hey, Handel, Rose! Just in time!”

Handel sighed.

Rose bounced in place and wiggled, happy to see him. She rumbled.

“Happy to help, what can we do for you?” Handel translated listlessly.

“Now that you’re here, we can really get this party started. Handel, I need you to lift me up toward the ceiling. Rose, you’re on standby. Get ready to grapple.” Levi folded the fabric, sequins-side on the inside, and reached for Handel, putting his arms up in the universal sign for ‘uppies.’

Handel looked at him. “Where do you want to go?”

“Ceiling!” Levi requested.

“I’m not that tall.”

“Yeah, but you can be,” Levi said, bouncing on his toes, hands still in the air.

Handel sighed again, exhausted.

Rose nudged him. She grumbled.

“Fine.” Handel stepped outside for a moment, then crawled back through the door. The doorframe cracked and distorted around his shoulders, completely breaking as his hips passed through. Shattered drywall and bits of twisted metal hit the floor.

Paying no mind to the destruction behind him, he picked up Levi in one hand and stood. He hefted Levi up toward the sky.

“Left a bit, left, left…right!” A few feet in front of Blasterman, Levi stopped. He waved his hand in front of the man’s face.

Blasterman frowned. He shifted slightly to the side.

With a flourish, Levi unfurled his besequinned flag. The sequins flashed in the light. Blasterman swayed in the air, his eyes following the sequins. He drifted closer. Light built up in his eyes again.

Levi furled the flag. “Drop me ten feet! Wait, no. Lower! Lower me ten feet!”

Handel lowered his hand obediently. Blasterman’s eyes went blank, and he floated blankly in midair. Levi unfurled his flag again.

Blasterman drifted down again. His eyes followed the flashing sequins. Again, red light began to shine.

Levi furled the sequined fabric again. “Ten more feet!”

Ten feet at a time, he lured Blasterman toward the floor. Blasterman followed, his head swaying slightly left-right the whole time.

At last, Handel set him on the ground. Levi unfurled the flag one last time, swaying it back and forth as Blasterman slowly approached. He grinned. Behind his back, he gripped his knife. “Come on. Come on…”