Levi turned to the room. “So. What’s everyone’s skills? Or at least your tier. Like, general ranking.”

Bubblegum Pink cleared his throat. “Almost everyone here is low-rank. We usually have about one, maybe two usable skills.”

“That’s unfortunate. But not unworkable!” Levi said, nodding.

“Right. After all, you’ve made it this far with nothing but a healing factor, right?” Bubblegum Pink prompted him.

“Exactly. Making the most out of the least, that’s me,” Levi said. He nodded at the room. “So. Everyone. Skills. One at a time, no rush.”

Arsenic glanced around, then crossed his arms. “I make poisons.”

“Great. What did you put in the snacks?” Levi asked.

The girl chewing on a skewer spat it out abruptly.

“Nothing,” Arsenic said, too quickly.

Levi gave him a look.

He coughed. “A mild…mild hallucinogenic. Just trying to cut myself a little slack to get the hell out after our little message. You know. My skills require a little more setup than most—”

“Great. Excellent, actually. Up the dosage and put it in everything you send out. And you,” Levi pointed at the girl who’d eaten the skewer, “You go home. You’re about to have a bad time. Or a good time. But either way, you need to not be here.”

She saluted and turned on her heel.

“Even the chicken nuggets?” Bubblegum Pink asked.

Levi frowned. He shook his head at Bubblegum Pink. “Chickie. Nuggies.”

“That’s a no?” Bubblegum Pink asked, lost.

“No, yes. Chickie nuggies and all. I said everything, didn’t I? We’ve got more skills than just ours in this building. If we can make both sides of the party go nuts, whew! Can you imagine? PR mess of the year. And it means no one, but no one, can interfere in our plans.” Levi tapped his fingertips together dramatically, lowering his head to his hands to peer over them and waggle his brows at the crowd.

You might be reading a pirated copy. Look for the official release to support the author.

The crowd stared at him, confused more than anything.

Clearing his throat, Levi stood upright again. “Let’s get started again. Everyone, skills?”

One of the girls raised her hand. “I sneeze fire.”

Another one glanced around, then shrugged. “I grow antlers and have acid spit.”

Flexing his arm, a man bragged, “I have super strength!”

“But only while he’s farting,” the man next to him complained, pinching his nose. He released it for a second to show a dog-like nose. “I’m The Werewolf, nice to meet you. Er, if the moon isn’t up, I’m kind of useless.”

Levi clicked his tongue. “Wish I had Rose and Handel right now.”

“Who…?” Pink Highlighter asked.

Levi’s eyes widened. He snapped his fingers. “Of course! Hey, Deergirl.”

The antler-growing girl looked up. “Me?”

“Yeah, you. Can you shine a light into the clouds? Like, a big spotlight? And then put your hand in front of it.”

She squinted at him. “Are you trying to summon a handjob?”

“No—…yes?” Levi raised his brows at her.

Unamused, she crossed her arms.

“A joke, it was a joke.”

She rolled her eyes. “Where am I going to find a spotlight, anyways? It’s not like those things just sit out on the streets for anyone to grab.”

“Easy. Car dealership. Just walk in the back like you own the place,” Levi said, waving his hand.

Bubblegum Pink leaned in. “It sounds like you’re speaking from experience.”

“Best shadow puppets ever, by the way. Get yourself a cloudy, moonless night, high powered spotlight, unf.” Levi nodded in remembrance his eyes cloudy.

“Right…” Deergirl squinted at him. “Are you serious, or…?”

“I mean, yes, if you can do it? But if you can’t, do a quick lap around the local homeless camps, maybe pop your head into the forest, that’d be great. Ask for Rose and Handel. They’ll know.”

Deergirl nodded slowly. “I think I’ll do that.”

“Tell them to bring all their friends.”

“The homeless people, or Rose and Handel.”

“Yes,” Levi said.

Deergirl hesitated, then pursed her lips and nodded.

“But come back before the fun starts. That acid spit should spice things up,” Levi said.

“It’s—like the corrosive kind of acid,” she clarified quickly.

“I know?” Levi asked, squinting.

“Just in case—” Deergirl sighed and rushed away, rather than say anything else.

Levi looked at Bubblegum Pink and shook his head. “Honestly, kids these days and their illegal drugs.”

“Hey, boss, how crazy do you want these supers? Like, just thought they caught a glimpse of their dead dad crazy, or like, spiders crawling over them crazy?” Arsenic called. He held his hands over the snacks. His fingertips grew darker and darker, thickening and growing bulbous at the ends. Liquid welled up on the very tips of his fingers, about to drip down.

“I want those spiders under their skin,” Levi said, nodding. “And on the walls. And giant, about to eat them. All that shit.”

“You got it.”

Tutting, Levi shrugged at Bubblegum Pink. “What’d I say? Kids and their drugs.”

Not sure what to say, Bubblegum Pink shrugged.

Wandering off, Levi sung to himself, “No, I won’t do drugs, will not have an attitude…”