As Arsenic dripped liquid into all the snacks and drinks, Levi gathered everyone else around him. “Here’s the deal. What I need, is maximum chaos. Is Blasterman present at the Gala?”

Bubblegum Pink hesitated, then nodded. “Yes.”

“Good. Excellent, actually. Yes. Of course he’d be here. Bastard. Bastardman. Hey, Alpha isn’t here, right?”

“No.”

“No. Well, he wouldn’t. Not him. Lazy bastard. Bet he’s fucking Rainer Drift right now,” Levi grumbled under his breath.

“He’s…what?” One of the girls whipped around, startled.

“Fucking Rainer Drift.”

The girl rolled her eyes, but she didn’t look away. “That’s just a rumor.”

“Uh huh. A rumor. That’s why she was in his bed in her birthday suit,” Levi said, quirking his brow back at the girl.

She gasped. “No way. No fucking way.”

“Yes fucking way.”

The girl froze, then squinted. “You were in Alpha’s penthouse?”

“Yes, long story. I mean, no. It wasn’t me. Blasterman was in Alpha’s penthouse. I just, uh. You know. Was casually looking through my telescope at the stars when I coincidentally pointed my lens at Alpha’s penthouse…” Levi trailed off. His eyes flicked to Bubblegum Pink.

Bubblegum Pink shook his head. “Not better.”

“No. I didn’t think so.”

The girl squinted. “What are you even talking about? I’m so lost.”

“You’re the fire spitter, right? Spitfire?” Levi asked, changing the subject.

“Yeah. Spitfire, that’s a good name,” she said.

“You’re damn right it is. I’m gonna need you to go full firebug. Just set the damn place on fire. If you can, set Blasterman on fire. I want him front and center. He’s our prime target. You point him at me, if you do anything at all, got it?”

“Don’t you only have a healing factor?” Spitfire asked.

“Oh, but it’s a hell of a healing factor,” Levi responded with a grin. “It’s a ‘don’t do this at home’ kind of healing factor.”

The tale has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.

“Damn,” Spitfire murmured.

“Uh, what about us?” The Werewolf asked, pointing at himself and his farting compatriot.

Levi thought to himself. “You’re just a werewolf? Like a full moon or nothing werewolf?”

“I can, uh. I can grow fangs and fur sometimes, if I really try,” The Werewolf replied.

Levi clicked his tongue. He looked at the farting man. “And Big Stink? What about you? Super strength from a bad burrito, is that the long and short of it?”

“Yeah. I get super strong when I fart. Specifically when I smell my own farts,” the man said, nodding.

“TMI, TMI. Jeez Louise, you can’t even talk to a man without getting a confession about his fetishes nowadays. You, The Werewolf.”

“Yes, me?” the man-wolf asked, pointing at his dog nose.

“You sniff out Blasterman. I need you to find exactly where he is, then line our stinky friend up right behind him. Stinkums, your job is to punch the shit outta Blasterman. That fucker can fly. I don’t know the exact mechanics, it’s probably some bullshit, but the point is, he isn’t immune to my little friend physics. Once the drugs start kicking in, my bet is, he whooshes right out of his chair. It’s your job to jump him and punch him onto the goddamn stage as soon as he does it.”

The farter gave a thumbs up. “I go by Strongman, by the way.”

“Whatever you say, Fartboy,” Levi replied. He turned around, taking in the room. “Did I miss anyone?”

Bubblegum Pink raised his hand.

“You! Right. You. You…will be right on stage with me. You’ll stick Blasterman in place while I staaaaa…have a friendly talk with him about why he shouldn’t kill civilians or shirk his duties, how’s that sound?” Levi gave him a thumbs up.

Bubblegum Pink nodded. “I can do that.”

“Good, good. By the way, masks on when this all goes down, everyone. Even I’ll be masked up. If you don’t have a mask, use one of those fancy cloth napkins. Don’t have a napkin, use your shirt. Don’t have a shirt…” Levi cast around him. “Toilet paper…?”

“We got it, boss,” Arsenic said from the back of the room. He put plates into Strongman and The Werewolf’s hands, grabbing a plate for himself.

“Then, let’s get these served, and I’ll see you on the other side,” The Werewolf said with a jaunty wave.

“Make sure Blasterman gets some! I don’t care if you throw it in his mouth. My chances against a sober Blasterman are slim-to-none, so let’s get him drunkle. High af.” Levi paused. “Does anyone have a skill that can smash or obscure cameras? We don’t need this beamed directly to Alpha.”

At the door, Arsenic leaned in. “I’ll go into the camera control room and release a sleeping gas, then just chill up there. When you guys set things off, I’ll turn off the cameras.”

“I like you. Showing initiative! That’ll get you far, kid. You’ll be CEO one day,” Levi promised Arsenic.

“CEO? What, like, mastermind of my own crazy villain squad?”

“Sure, if that’s what you want,” Levi said, nodding. He clapped his hands together. “Alright, people, let’s get going!”

--

Fira bounced to the music, casually sipping a cup full of punch. A server emerged from the kitchen, carrying a fresh tray of chicken nuggets. The server hesitated for a moment, stirring the punch.

“Excuse me.”

The server jumped. He turned. “Yes?”

Fira grinned, awkward. “My, uh. My friend, Levi. He’s back there, I—uh, he’s not causing any trouble, is he?”

“No, no, no trouble at all, nope,” the man said, a little too quickly.

Fira squinted. “What’s Levi doing?”

“Nothing. Uh. You might want to go home,” the man said.

Fira’s eyes narrowed. Her face flushed red with anger. “What is Levi doing?”

“Nothing, nothing. You—”

Fira grabbed him by the shoulder. “We’re going back to the kitchen. Now.”