So, listen.

Alpha isn’t doing his job. Literally couldn’t give less of a shit about the city. Crime, organized crime, gangs, mobs, drugs, violence, trafficking, you name it, Central is rife with it.

How come you think so many supers get away with putting on their crazy outfits and robbing banks, stealing cars, whatever? It’s because Alpha doesn’t care. Does. Not. Care.

Someone has to. Someone has to clean up the city. Someone has to care.

I mean, it’s not me. I’m just doing it for a laugh.

But someone.

--

BAM! BAM! BAM!

Calmly, Levi mowed down the men one shot at a time, starting with the row closest to him.

The men and women leaped up, grabbing guns out from their belts. One of the men horked back, spitting big globs of acid at Levi. They splattered onto the bar, eating into the wooden surface.

Levi ducked below the bar. Bullets slammed into the hard wood, kicking holes in its surface. Splinters flew, and lead whistled past. Shattered by stray shots, bottles dropped from the shelf, dropping broken glass on Levi. A shard cut through his shoulder, and Levi winced as blood welled up on his sleeve.

Rapid footsteps rushed the bar, moving faster than any human should have been able to. Levi whipped around and raised the gun, waiting.

A face blurred into view.

He grinned and pulled the trigger. “Bye, fucker.”

With a little shriek, the woman’s head kicked backward. They thumped to the floor.

Levi glanced at the body, then dragged it closer. A gun hung from the woman’s hand. He stole it away, nodding to himself. “Ooh, akimbo, niceeee.”

Crawling along the bar, he jumped back up, taking a moment to line up his shots. In the back of the bar, a pink figure put his back to the door, blocking the way through. He tossed a nod in Highlighter Pink’s direction, too distracted to do any more.

All the shooters turned to Levi, and bullets rained down on him. His body stumbled back as one caught him in the side, and he swayed to dodge another. He fired once, twice, three times, then dropped down again, crawling across the bar.

Acid splattered to the ground beside him, sizzling over his skin. He winced and crawled on. Picturing the bar in his mind, he aimed to where the people had been, then popped back up on the other side of the bar. Three more shots, but this time, the men were ready. Bullets struck him in the chest, the shoulder, the hip. Hissing in pain, Levi dropped down again. Taking a moment to recoup, he checked the ammo in his guns. One came back almost empty, the other one still half full.

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Levi shook his head. His face squinched together as he forced the pain back, and then he jumped right up where he’d been. “Bet you weren’t expecting that!”

A half-dozen barrels pointed at him.

“Or…you were,” he amended, quickly dropping below the bar again. A thunder of bullets bit into the wood, shattering the bottles behind the bar. He crouched, edging toward the end of the bar, both pistols at the ready.

All at once, he lunged out from behind the bar, firing wildly as he ran. One man fell. Two. Three. The acid-spitting man went down with a shriek and a sizzle.

Bam! Levi stumbled back as a bullet punched into his chest. He fired again as he fell, and a fourth man went down. He hit the ground hard and bounced, sliding into a puddle of liquor and glass shards.

[You lost a life!]

[Lives remaining: -17254]

Silence. The remaining two men exchanged a glance. Guns drawn, they approached the prone figure, giving it an uncertain look. Again, the two made eye contact. The shorter one nudged the taller one. “Go check.”

“Check what? He’s dead.”

“Check. What if he’s got regeneration or something?”

“You can just double tap from here.”

“But—”

Levi’s eyes flashed open. He sat bolt upright and fired two shots, one for each man. They stumbled back and hit the ground, bleeding out.

“Phew. Been a while since I did that,” Levi muttered. He looked himself over, pulling a face at his blood-slicked shirt, now riddled with holes, and whistled.

In the back of the bar, at the door, motion. Levi startled, lifting his guns.

“Uh, are, are we done?” Highlighter Pink asked. Back pressed against the doors, he exuded a pink, sticky substance that covered the entire doors, sticking them shut. The substance covered his body up to the neck, too, completely enveloping him. A few bullets stuck in the substance’s surface, but none of them cut through to the man behind.

Levi raised his brows. “Bubblegum!”

“It’s…pretty similar, yes.”

“Bubblegum Pink!” He walked over, then lowered his face and licked the pink. Instantly, his nose wrinkled, and he drew back, sticking his tongue out and shaking his head like a dog who’d just licked a bee.

“It isn’t actually bubblegum, no,” Bubblegum Pink informed him, a little too late. He stepped forward. The substance pulled as he walked, as if he really were enveloped by gum, then snapped away from the door, slurping back into his body.

“Bubblegum Pink, you’re so cool! I’m just a self-healer, but damn, what a cool power!” Levi praised him, bouncing all around him.

“Wasn’t good enough for Alpha.” Bubblegum Pink paused, his lip lifting subconsciously. “Unlike my daughter’s super strength.”

Levi patted him on the shoulder. “I’ll kill that fucker one day.”

Bubblegum Pink gave him a wan smile. He shook his head. “I’m better suited for the ARL, honestly. I don’t know why I tried to moonlight as a villain.”

“You made a great villain! The ARL is full of idiots and pussies,” Levi asserted firmly.

Outside, a siren sounded. Levi clicked his tongue. He glanced at Bubblegum Pink. “Can you gum the door shut, or something?”

“Yeah, I can. We should run, shouldn’t we?” he asked, lifting a hand to the door. The pink goo gushed from his palm and coated the door, sealing it shut.

“Yeah. Yeah, we should run,” Levi agreed, already hurrying for the back of the building.

Bubblegum Pink nodded. He ran ahead of Levi, pushing past him to be the first through the rear exit.

Levi followed him toward the back. As he was about to step outside, he paused and retreated a step, eyes drawn to a board covered in printed pictures. He grabbed a handful of pictures and stuffed them in his briefcase. Bubblegum Pink held the door for him, then gunked it shut behind him.

“Hey, you have a card or something?” Levi asked.

“Oh, actually…” Bubblegum Pink fumbled at the back of his costume.

The siren drew closer. Levi put his hands on his hips and tapped his foot.

“There! There.” Handing over his card, Bubblegum Pink gave a last wave and fled.

Levi turned the card over in his hands. “The paper…cheap. The ink…black. Hmm. Not a card worth mentioning, really.”

He stuffed the card in his briefcase with the rest and ran off in the opposite direction, tossing the jacket, hat, and glasses in a dumpster as he ran, messing up his hair with one hand. Time to get the hell out of dodge!