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Her office wasn’t just that, it was also a living space. In the corner there was a television set on a small stand. There was a low table by it. Another pile of books lay on a table with one lying open. I noticed that the television set was on. An anime series I wasn’t familiar with was running. It looked pretty off the wall, full of gratuitous violence and fanservice shots. Par for the course where anime was concerned. Near her television stand lay a futon, folded neatly.
Another bookshelf stood in the portion of the room allocated for living space. It was packed full of manga and anime. I nearly fell over. There was a stark contrast between the whimsical manga and her books, which seemed to be science-related or mystical-related. From a distance, I couldn’t accurately determine what the subjects they covered were.
“Hmmm... I offered tea..." she meandered, pointing imperiously towards her living area. “Don't mess anything up. Don’t screw with my research papers. Just watch television like a good... ehe... nohnuts.” She walked to the other side of the office where another portion was divided into a makeshift kitchen. There was a portable counter with a stove on it, and upon it sat a white kettle covered in decorative flowers. WHY CAN SHE NOT STOP INSULTING ME?
“I don’t watch animations much these days,” I groused.
“Eh... why not?” Oni murmured as she started the heat. She lifted the lid off the kettle to confirm the water level.
“I don’t know.” I shrugged. “Animations don’t pay the bills.” I wandered over to the desk to carefully poke at the array, and then a book on the desk. I leaned down to read the label on its cover.
Yokai for Dummies.
The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! I screamed interiorly and it quickly turned into an outward one. “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!”
She looked in my direction after starting the kettle. She’d lifted a sealed container. “Do you like Monaka, Nohnuts?” she asked me, her tone level.
“DAMNIT!!! You little!!!” I screamed and lifted the book. “You really are a FRAUD! How dare you call me that constantly?!” I cast the book at her. She watched calmly and moved only her head. It sailed past her to hit the wall behind her stove. She didn’t turn to look and she grinned broadly.
“Why the hell are you smiling? Do you like kicking a person when they’re down? I’ll just go kill myself, if I even can!” I yelled. I was near the breaking point and walked towards her door.
“Hmmm... you’d leave just like that?" Oni mused.
“No. You’re a raging twit!” I snapped, putting my hand on the doorknob to leave.
I heard her footfalls start moving in my direction. She quickly slapped her hand down on mine. “I take it back.” I winced, sure I’d shortened my life. “You do have some balls, or GUTS. You won’t just take abuse. You’re going to need guts.” She still held the container in her other hand. I eyed her, disbelieving her apology.
“What I said was just a joke, or a test if you’d prefer to think. ‘Yokai for Dummies’?” She cracked up. “When I laid my eyes the book lying on a table in Akihabara, I couldn’t help myself. It was hilarious! Did you think I knew you’d be coming or that I bought it just to troll potential customers?” She tapped her chin wearing a broad grin as she considered it, laughing more. “... ahem.... I giggled while reading it the other day, but your reaction was utterly priceless!” Her eyes fairly sparkled.
She continued, “So, the fact of the matter is..." The loli oni looked more intently into my noh-eyes. “I’ve been investigating a series of murders which have occurred over the last few months. It’s gotten worse lately. No one can solve the mystery, because it’s a mystical matter.”
When she stepped in front of me, so small compared with me and yet she seemed taller, she wagged a finger. “I’ll take your case. You can owe me later, but believe me when I tell you, you’ll be working your ass off. Both in the future and while we’re investigating this case. You… You haven’t given me your name, but whoever you are, you’re wonderful bait! Come to think of it, if you have the physical capabilities of a noh-face, you might make an adequate bodyguard. This is going to be very, very, very dangerous. You can’t do any of what we’ll need to do, if you don’t find your... nuts.” She laughed.
I gaped. “W-What?!” BAIT? A BODYGUARD? ME?
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