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What I sought for appeared on page one.
SSDS: Shinohara Spiritual Detective Services, Tokyo
Got a yokai? I’m your guy!
You were curious about my brilliant business model, right? Perfect!
Step right up, poor victim. I’ve got your butt!
Click this hot little link and step right up!
Make sure you bring plenty of money!!! <3
My jaw dropped at how flippant the link was. It was clear this detective would charge. I wondered if he’d accept my debt. I’d even work like a slave if he could fix my problem!
I clicked on the link, finding that the page was extremely minimal. It was as though someone opened up Notepad, typed some text into it, and called it a website. My no-eyes bulged from how unprofessional it was!
There wasn’t a greeting for visitors. All I saw on the page was a physical address! No phone number or names, no further slogans. This person is a total idiot after all, isn’t he?
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I slammed the lid of the laptop back down more roughly than I should have. My poor baby had already been through so much torture today. I gasped, regretting it, and petted the laptop. “Um... y-you’ll be fine, probably.”
I’d whimpered long enough. It was time for action. Channel your inner shonen energy, Susumu!
I leapt into action and sprinted over to my closet. I rummaged through it like a tornado, destroying what semblance of neatness was left. If people saw this no-face, they’d freak out and hunt me down.
Finally I found a solution for how I could protect my identity. It was a sentai armor costume. I chuckled when I saw it. At least people would laugh at me now. This might be an improvement.
I remembered when I’d worn it at work. It was not one of my better memories. It was a party. The requirement was all workers must wear costumes, the crazier the better. I don’t think it was for Halloween. It was probably done for the sake of advertisement. I considered the situation, chewing my noh-lip. I felt like I was doing it, but obviously I’d neither teeth nor lips. I didn’t feel like I wanted to wear the whole thing. Even the mask would be adequate since it was Halloween. NO! Don’t break the costume. Fans of the sentai series would probably want to kill me for such a half-assed effort!
I broke down and looked regretfully at the jeans and shirt I’d pulled out. They were reasonably clean enough. The sentai costume of course was very clean. I donned it, hoping I wouldn’t regret spending the day in a costume.
It was pretty watertight as far as costumes went. They’d have to remove my mask to reveal my nature. This idea was looking far more appealing when I realized I’d be normal, more or less.
Putting the costume on, I posed in front of the mirror in the closet for a long moment. “Ahaha..." My dry chuckle. I pictured myself wearing the costume again. As I considered the pros and cons of this plan, I adopted the same poses I’d practiced for the party, and shook my head.
No, they’ll think I’m a crazy otaku, or that I’m participating in some kind of a publicity stunt.
But given the crazy acrobatic feats I’d performed in the train station, I might just be able to pull it off!
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