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471. Alice In Nightmareland

The shadow of a man appeared, causing her heart to sink. Why was she so terrified of it? Alice did not know, and desperately tried every door possible until she came across a table that was not in the hallway before. Desperate, she ran towards it.

The table was made from glass. On it were a variety of items, but her anxiety caused her to focus on only a silver key. The sound of shackles and a whip caused her to seize up. The Pavlovian reaction nearly caused her to submit as she defensively held out her hands to protect her face, as if she was about to be struck.

“I-I’m fine. I’m fine. I have to run. I have to go. Open. Please… please open –!” The worked immediately on the first door, and she shoved herself through its wooden frame and carefully shut it.

She looked back at the door, walking backwards towards a curtain. Heavy footsteps passed as liquid oozed from underneath the door. Alice held the hems of her long dress up as if to not let it touch her.

The liquid smelled bitter, just like the liquid bliss that Ara drank used to drink himself to a weeping sleep. Glass shattered from outside and she clutched her ears, watching as the liquid turned into a smiling face as if to comfort her.

But all it did was terrify her even more.

“Nightmare. It’s a nightmare. I don’t want to be here anymore. I don’t want to be in this place.” Alice reached for the curtains, expecting to find a window but to her shock: “A door? It’s so… tiny. Is it for mice?”

She constantly peered over her shoulders before lying down on the floor, dirtying her blue and white dress. Past the door was a garden. She was far too large to fit. She even tried reaching a hand through the door but to matter how hard she tried; the rest of her body couldn’t follow.

The warmth outside caused tears to fall down her cheeks.

Why was this all so familiar to her? It repeated in her head over and over before suddenly:

The sound of shattering wood caused her heart to sink so incomprehensibly deep that all thought disappeared from her mind.

“Breaking the doors… it’s breaking the doors…!” She whispered to herself, holding onto her mouth as she crawled towards the door, desperate to find a way out of this place. “The table. Something on the table has to help me. Someone is chasing me again. I don’t want to be chased.”

Alice heard the figure smash into yet another door. She needed to time it properly to snatch something useful before she could make her escape. But what could help her? She peered through a creak of the door, spotting the shattered table where broken tableware lay scattered on the floor.

There, she spotted a blue potion labeled ‘Drink Me’. It reminded her of a medicine she took because people thought she wasn’t…

… “Wasn’t what...?”

Alice didn’t remember why she took it aside from her headaches, but that didn’t matter now. She prepared herself to sneak out as soon as the next door was broken through. She held her breath and heard another door break, but she hesitated and clawed at the wooden door.

“I can’t… I can’t… I-I… C-Can I really do it? Mother… Ara… Help me. Someone. P-please –!”

Another door broke. The figure was close to reaching hers. Alice was on the verge of breaking down, before suddenly, she heard a voice whisper to her.

“Do you remember Dinah?”

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“D-Dinah…? That was…”

Alice’s head throbbed. A powerful migraine overtook her as she tried to remember the name. Suddenly, she recalled something fluffy. Something long, warm, and would purr when scratched.

“… Dinah…?”

For some reason, this name gave her courage. On perhaps the final door before the figure would enter her room, she snuck out and collected the bottle. The broken glass didn’t make a sound, defying logic.

She downed the bottle without a thought and returned to the room, and much to her surprise, her body began to shrink until she was the size of the tiny door. She rushed towards it, barging through where she was greeted by the warm sun.

The horrors of the world behind her disappeared when she tripped on a blade of grass, finding that it had disappeared entirely. A mysterious world resembling one she was already so familiar with surrounded her in this strange place.

But she was not in the same beautiful garden she saw through the door.

Surrounding her were tall trees far too large for even a normal-sized Alice to wander through. Hanging from above were stuffed teddy bears on ropes, all waving down at her as candy dropped from their mouth and eyes.

“I’m free… but what… is this place? Am I inside of the forest with the big crawlies?” She wondered, unconvinced that the way forward was the correct choice.

Alice wept again, feeling powerless before she scolded herself to stop crying. Suddenly, she caught sight of a cake on top of an eight-legged table. It was a giant table, but just small enough for her to easily take the cake for her own.

“’Eat Me’… Will it help me again just like the potion? I think so. T-This place… maybe I’m being helped by someone. I don’t know…”

Despite her hesitation, she powered through and devoured the cake. It was a chocolate cake but did not taste like one. Rather, it tasted like something else entirely. A flavor that she could not put her finger on.

The texture on the other hand, was like that of coconut husk and crushed cherries. The table began to ooze with liquid chocolate. She was tempted to drink from it but wanted to see what effects the cake would have on her.

“A-Any time now…” Minutes passed but nothing happened. Deeper into the forest was what she could only describe as a nest of tables, each with a different number of legs. These tables moved, some violently charging into stuffed toys.

Many were dragged back into hollowed segments of the trees. Many strung-up toys had their bellies busted open, revealing the cotton filling. Sticks also dribbled out.

Suddenly, a warm, pale tail brushed against her chin as a voice spoke from above.

“Embrace the world you have always seen. Why are you so anxious?”

The White Rabbit spoke, but as soon as she turned around, the entity disappeared. Alice was confused. Was it not the White Rabbit who brought her here? The one who sent her to the lair of the scary figure?

Why would it ask such a thing?

Alice shivered. Not because she was frustrated or afraid, but because she felt a strange tingly course through her. Suddenly, she began to grow until she reached past the canopies. Up there, she was met with an endless forest where colorful birds flew above, and where the clouds were a soft shade of pink.

They made all sorts of faces, and she could have sworn that the sun even smiled at her.

And yet despite how pleasant everything appeared, she couldn’t help but to feel an overbearing sense of terror. It was not towards the world, but instead, towards herself.

“This… Who… Is this…?” She began to weep, depressed over her bodily transformation, dropping to her knees. Her shoulders toppled entire trees as the ground quaked. “Is this… how Ara felt… that day when he came back…? All those bottles…”

Alice felt like a stranger to herself, unable to shake the alien feeling away. Lakes were created by her falling tears. She kept comparing herself to Ara, who openly despised himself because of his unwanted changes.

“I don’t want to be like this! I don’t want to be big or small! I just want to be me! Who… am I right now!?” Alice began testing her knowledge to prove that she was ‘Alice’, reciting the names of family members.

However, the people she recited belonged to no one she recognized. Alice was shaken, the lake becoming an ocean.

“Th-That can’t… I’m not –! I’m Alice! I’m Alice!” She desperately tried to convince herself.

This place was no wonderland. The White Rabbit lied when it said it was a paradise. If anything, it was hell, but Alice still couldn’t understand this. She was only a child and was confused by everything around her.

She just wanted to go back to being Alice.

To being comfortable.

To be in control of what she sees.

Suddenly, her body began to shrink again. The more tears she shed, the faster her body shrunk. Soon, she was back to her normal size. That was until she shrunk further, and before she knew it, she found herself underwater.

When she swam back up to the top –

“Pwah! W-Where… Am I now…?”

– She found herself in the center of a great lake.