Do you remember when you told me I was a good person ? That's the nicest thing I've ever been told even though it wasn't true. Sometimes I just stop and think about when things started to go off-road. Was there ever a turning point ? Or did everything tip slowly over decisions and years passing by ? I can't think of a moment when I could've done something different that would've changed how I turned out. When I was young I wasn't decisive enough and when I grew older I was too decisive. There are a lot of questions I regret not asking you. For one, how do you know when you've gone too far ? Because I think I went too far. I know I've gone too far. You wouldn't approve. You wouldn't have said it but I know you wouldn't have. Don't you think that's fucked up, though ? You've never held me accountable for anything. That I never held myself accountable for anything. Though I know the shadow guys are scrupulously jotting down everything. Wouldn't surprise me if I became a rock in my next life. Sometimes I think back to how it was when we were still a family with Rei, Natsuo, and Fuyumi. You held Touya accountable on my behalf and that fucked him up more. Is that why you didn't, for me ? But I'm not blaming you. It would be a pretty shitty thing to do as you can't defend yourself and I wasn't a kid anyway. I think I'm barely starting to realize that there are things I've done that I can't take back. You'd say it's not too late but on the contrary, I think it is. I know they'll soon come for me, those are the consequences of my actions. I'll wait for them because I need to finish what I've started. That's what you taught me, remember ? Always finish what you start.

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I wish you were here so you could tell me everything's going to be alright even though we'd both know you're lying.