There was something inherently comical about seeing Enji Todoroki - the nearly seven-foot giant with the icy stare and iron shoulders - wearing a striped birthday hat with tassels.

The plastic wire, which ran from under his chin to the clevis, was so tight against his jaw that it almost went into his skin. It looked like it was going to explo-

It exploded.

I put my hands over my mouth, unable to hold back the laughter that escaped me. Enji looked annoyed as hell.

"Rei, this is the third one that breaks. Do I really have to wear this ?"

Rei, standing in front of the bathroom mirror, smiled humourously as she puts on her earrings.

"Of course you have to wear it" They exchanged glances through the mirror. "At least wear it for the pictures"

Endeavor took off the hat and twirled it between his fingers. He had a long face.

His eyes lifted to me, sitted in the baby carrier on the bed.

"Don't laugh"

I laughed louder.

He looked even more annoyed than before.

"Well, look who is having a good day"

Rei finally came out of the bathroom.

She was wearing a white sweater dress and had curled her hair.

Endeavor stood up and ran a hand down her back, pulling her to him. She laughed, a little surprised.

"You're beautiful today"

He leaned toward her before stopping, red-faced, and glanced at me.

"Don't be shy. Shoto won't remember anything until he's at least four years old"

Enji kissed Rei's cheek before stepping back, his face once again as calm as a lake.

"This brat is clever, Rei. He understands everything we say"

Rei looked amused.

"Fuyumi says the same thing"

Someone knocked on the bedroom door.

"Todoroki-sama ? We have finished the preparations. You can come to the living room" Enji went to open the door but Rei stopped him with one hand.

"Take Shoto instead"

"Don't you want to take him ?"

Rei grabbed a tube of lipstick.

"Didn't you notice ? He's a real daddy's boy"

I glared at Rei.

Me? Daddy's boy? This woman is crazy.

"He's just a little clingy -"

Hey-

"-but that doesn't mean that he prefers me over you"

Rei smiles indulgently.

"I was Touya's, Fuyumi's and Natsuo's favorite for the first three years of their lives. Believe me, I know what I'm talking about when I tell you that you're his favorite"

Enji frowned, arms crossed on his chest. Rei had taken a mirror out of her pocket and she was applying the final touches to her makeup.

"Why only the first three years ?"

"Because that's usually the age around which they learn that you're a hero, and after that they become miniature versions of you - for a while, anyway. But I feel like with Shoto it's going to last"

Enji looked at me as if he was seeing me for the first time.

He remained silent for a long time, his face devoid of expression but his eyes shining. He seemed not to know how to react to what Rei had told him.

And I knew why.

Enji may have been my "favorite," but I was not his.

He looked at me differently from his other children, and not exactly as a father should. He seemed to me more like a collector with a particularly rare piece than a father fond of his youngest child.

But it didn't matter : thanks to Rei's remarks, I could see that Enji was still not quite sure what to do with me. He was hesitating, and it was this hesitation that I intended to exploit today.

If I played my cards right, I might even be able to get him to fold in front of me in the near future.

"That's it, I'm done !"

Rei zipped up her makeup bag and opened the door.

Enji pulled me out of the carrier and cradled me against his chest, one hand under my buttocks. My fists automatically grabbed his shirt.

I know he's strong but this guy always holds me so sloppily that I feel like I'm going to fall over as soon as he takes a step.

"I almost forgot !"

Rei ran to the coffee table and retrieved a miniature version of the birthday hat Enji was wearing.

She snagged it on me before stepping back, her lips pressed together as she tried to contain her joyful smile.

"You guys are so cute !"

Enji tried to go around her but Rei gently pushed him back with a hand on his chest. She took out a camera from I don't know where and shook it in front of his eyes.

"I'll just take a few and we'll be on our way"

Enji sighed, and I knew he was already tired of the day ahead.

My irritation at wearing the colored hat diminished somewhat when I saw his scowling face.

His eyes lowered to mine.

Click click.

"There, perfect !"

After the long and terrible hours spent in the master room, it was finally time to get out.

I couldn't help but get excited thinking about what wass next.

Tell me it's a chocolate cake, please I need something other than this damn carrot puree-

"Todoroki-sama" greeted one of the maids.

A cacophony of voices joined the first one.

"Todoroki-sama"

A flock of maids stood on either side of the long hallway that led us to the living room: they all had white aprons and bonnets tied with a banded cord under their chins. They bowed when we passed in front of them.

I felt like some royalty.

"Don't you think you overdid it for the staff ?"

Rei swept his remarks aside with a wave of her hand.

"The first birthday comes once in a lifetime. I want Shoto to remember it forever"

The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation.

"He's a kid, he won't remember anything"

"Wasn't it you who told me earlier that he was smarter than average ?"

Enji backed down without a word. If Fuyumi was stubborn, it was because Rei was even more so.

The housekeeper, a hand on the mahogany door handle of the living room, smiled as she saw us arrive.

"What a beautiful picture you are making !"

She opened the door without further ado.

Light flooded the dark hallway. I fluttered my eyes, dazzled by the clarity of the room.

The curtains were drawn, clearing the view of a blue sky and the garden covered with still falling snow.

There were streamers hanging from the lampshade, flashing strings of lights hanging from the ceiling to the walls, and balloons placed all over the room to the point where it was hard to see your shoes.

Rei looked at me with wolfish attention, her smile widening as I surveyed the place.

She stood on her toes and whispered loudly in Enji's ear

"I think he likes it"

Enji stepped into the living room, the sea of balloons splitting in half in front of him before closing in his path.

The living room had been rearranged for the occasion, the leather sofas gathered around a series of low tables loaded with snacks. There were petit fours, canapés, small burgers and some other products that I suspected to be only for Enji and Rei.

I felt... weird. Usually all of my birthdays were the tidy kind with a mountain of guests I'd never seen before in my life, but this one...

Standing behind the tables were Touya, Fuyumi and Natsuo.

The former was unbuttoning his tie, disgruntled, while Fuyumi was bouncing happily, her little pink muslin skirt inflating and deflating like a balloon. Natsuo sat on the floor, oblivious to the outside world, his face smeared with ketchup and his hands full of crumbled meat.

"Sho-sho, happy birthday !"

"Happy birthday," grumbled Touya.

Natsuo looked at his brother and sister with a stupid look before turning to me. He at least had the decency to swallow what was in his mouth before saying :

"Happy Birthday"

Enji placed me on the carpet, the only place in the room that wasn't cluttered with balloons.

I walked over to the coffee table, already salivating at the thought of stuffing my face like a donkey. What ? I was a baby, and babies never did anything but poop and eat. Preferably the other way around.

I felt Touya's gaze on me, as often recently.

I didn't know what was wrong with him, but the more it went on, the weirder I found him. He had developed the annoying habit of scrutinizing me whenever I made the slightest move, the same way a cat would scrutinize a mouse it was about to kill.

I think he was still upset about the Monopoly.

It had been several weeks ago, but I couldn't think of anything else that would justify his sudden obsession with me.

My hands clutched the edge of the coffee table as I contemplated the array of choices. What to start with : sweet, salted ? Or maybe a little juice...

Oh well.

I grabbed everything I could get my hands on, eating everything I could as fast as I could.

"Don't forget to chew" Enji admonished me

I felt like a black hole whose one and only mission was to devour everything it could get its hands on.

Everything was beautiful, everything smelled good, everything made me hungry.

And I wanted it all.

I barely looked up to see that Natsuo, Fuyumi and Touya had also moved closer to the table and were eating in silence.

Other than the click-click and the sound of our regular chewing, there was no noise in the living room.

Touya had lost his crumpled look a bit and was eating mini pizzas, dipping them in sauce here and there. Fuyumi drank can after can of coke, side eyeing Rei from time to time to see if she would stop her.

Natsuo had put his brain on pause and gobbled up everything he could get his hands on without bothering to analyze what it was.

I watched those three kids stuff themselves as if they had never had enough to eat in their lives, feeling a strange connection to them.

They were all a little weird in their own way, but I guess I didn't hate them.

Or maybe not too much.

Is this what a functional family is supposed to look like?

When I was in the Before...

I shook off the bad thoughts, preferring to finish my mini burger before sitting down on the floor, satiated.

"Natsu, you got it all over yourself", Rei scolded him.

She began to rub his face with a wet wipe. He didn't seem to like it.

"Shoto, look at me"

Enji crouched down next to me. He pulled me to him before dusting off my crumb-covered shirt. I grabbed a new burger and chewed it gently as he continued to clean me up. He squinted but said nothing.

...actually I don't think I'm very hungry anymore.

I looked at the hamburger, then at Enji, then at the hamburger again.

I lifted the barely touched sandwich in front of his face.

I shook it in front of his mouth.

He looked at me, looked at the sandwich, then sighed.

I didn't even have time to blink before he had swallowed the whole thing.

In.one.bite.

Enji chewed diligently and swallowed the whole sandwich before looking back at me. He frowned.

"Don't look at me like that"

He closed my open mouth with his finger.

The rest of the afternoon went on much the same.

We ate, we played, we ate some more.

Rei finally took Natsuo away from the food to prevent him from inducing a coma.

He cried. Loudly.

Finally came the part I was least looking forward to : the gifts.

There were some in a small pile wrapped in shiny paper on my right. Since Rei had decided to play paparazzi, Enji was in charge of opening my presents in case I didn't managed it, baby hands and all that stuff.

Click click.

"You can start"

I couldn't even bring myself to look surprised after unwrapping my third stuffed animal of the day.

There were cars, teddy bears, more cars.

Fuyumi gave me two dolls that she seemed more excited to play with than me. I suspected that she had used the family money to make a gift for herself and that she was using me as a way to make her products legal in front of the police, aka Rei.

I put them on the stack of things I planned to burn the day I activated my Alter.

Another present arrived, round and heavier than the others. It was shaped like an apple, but wrapped in duct tape and toilet paper.

I looked around the room hesitantly.

Touya's eyes were shining.

"It's mine. Go ahead, Sho-sho. Open it."

My nails couldn't even find a hook on the tape. Enji grabbed the present and opened it for me.

I blinked. Slowly.

Fuyumi even stopped hopping, which was quite a feat.

A... rock?

Rei lowered her camera and turned to her eldest son.

"Touya, didn't you spend the money that we gave you?

He shrugged.

"I lost it"

But there was something in his eyes that told me he was lying.

He stared at me. His chin was slightly raised, as if he expected a reaction that didn't come.

Does he expect me to... cry ?

His features hardened.

Pretending to be caught by the purple ribbon on my lap, I looked away.

Rei raised her camera in front of her eyes, stood still for a moment, and then lowered it again.

"... next gift"

There were many more gifts, each more boring than the last, but none came close to Touya and his rock.

The atmosphere had become strange, but nobody said anything. I suspected that Enji didn't care and didn't even bother to look at the presents, mechanically opening those I'd given him.

I had become one of those third-world kids who worked on the assembly line for so long that they lost their taste for life.

"That's from Dad", said Rei

It was a comic book of a girl in a dress. Princess Sarah.

I looked up at Enji.

He looked at the gift as if he had discovered it at the same time I had.

He glanced at Rei before returning to me.

"Don't look at me like that"

I blinked.

"I'll buy you a motorcycle when you're older"

"Enji !"

"Plastic, Rei. A plastic motorcycle."

And finally the last present.

I saw the housekeepers putting some delicious chocolate cake on the dining table and wanted to get it done.

If the stone was heavy, it was nothing in comparison to the triangle that was wrapped in silk.

A golden bow delicately wrapped it, giving it the look of an obese 'L'.

"I can't remember who it is from" said Rei.

I pulled the ribbon and got rid of the fabric in no time.

Huh. Realistic for a toy.

It had a cool feel to it and even had the appearance of metal.

It shone like someone had just lubricated it.

Picking it up with difficulty, I took the gun in both hands.

The gun wobbled, aimed at Rei and Fuyumi.

There is a safety catch, too ?

I slid my thumb over the black projection and a small "click" was heard in the room.

"En-enji", Rei stuttered.

I wonder if a red flag comes out of the barrel when the trigger is pulled ?

I did not have the time to try it out because Enji snatched the gun right out of my hand.

With an expert thumb he opened the cylinder : there were no cartridges in it.

He fumbled with the heap of cloth at my feet and pulled out a clear bag filled with bullets.

I watched him in bewilderment, unable to understand what was going on.

Hold on, it's a real one ?

"Enji, you told me it would stop..."

Gun and bullets in hand, he jumped to his feet.

He looked downright furious.

"I will call her"

He hurried out of the living room. Rei looked shaken.

Like a shadow, Fuyumi slipped next to me. She pulled one of her dolls out of the pile of rubble and stroked the synthetic hair with the tips of her fingers.

"Don't worry Sho-sho, they're not angry with you. It's just that they don't like it when Granny gives us gifts."

She paused for a moment and had a look at her doll. She must not like what she saw, because she pinned the blond hair back.

"She gave me a great knife once. But then Mom and Dad took it and I never got it back"

Wait, what ?

Touya and Natsuo didn't look too shocked either. Enji returned a few minutes later, but without the weapon.

Rei waited for him to talk, but when he didn't she decided to clap to get our attention.

"Now, who would like to have a piece of cake?"

*

I sat in the chair, feet flailing, cake under my nose.

As the Todoroki family finished singing "Happy Birthday," I mentally prepared for the first step of my special puppet plan.

I looked up at Endeavor, who was standing behind Rei, singing without really putting his heart into it.

He looked as annoyed as he was bored.

Everyone was applauding and I took the opportunity to reach out and shake my chubby little fingers at him.

He pretended to ignore me.

Puffing up my cheeks, I insisted.

Rei leaned towards him.

"Make an effort, Enji. It's his birthday..."

He hesitated, in a dilemma.

Once I give you the coup de grace, you will be the one who chases me around and wants my attention.

He scooped me up.

I lay my small hands on his face, clumsily feeling his beard. His eyes never left mine as he watched me in silence, his mouth parted in uncertainty.

I knew exactly what was going through his mind : he didn't know whether to see me as his son or his weapon.

Since I didn't want him to come to a conclusion on his own, I dropped my bomb:

"I love you, Dad"

He flinched, startled, and I did my best to hug his giant neck, pressing my ear to his chest. His heart was beating fast.

That's right, creepy Endeavor. You thought I was your weapon ? Give me a break, you're just my tool. I'll wear you down until you're nothing.

"Oh my God," Rei exclaimed. She clapped her hands.

"Did we hear that right ? Has Shoto just spoken his first words ?"

She screamed like it was the most amazing thing in the world.

To my amazement, Enji put another hand under my little legs to hold me better.

He swayed back and forth and rocked me gently against his chest.

Click click.

Only a few seconds of this circus made my thoughts foggy. I hadn't taken a nap today.

I blinked one last time. I caught the image of Touya spilling the cake on the floor.

No one noticed.

He slipped away without anyone noticing.

*