Hawk's office was on the top floor of one of Tokyo's tallest skyscrapers.
The glass wall behind him overlooked the grey Tokyo sky where the clouds had been piling up since our return as if I'd brought the bad weather back with me.
Hawks was backlight, sitting in his chair, hands clasped in front of his face, his whole figure bathed in darkness.
Only his eyes were visible, his yellow, reptilian plums, scrutinising me intently.
I waited.
Hawks remained motionless, icon of a forgotten evil god.
Outside, thunder rolled and suddenly the storm broke out.
Within moments, the entire window was covered in raindrops whipping across its surface.
Hawks straightened up, his hands falling back on his armrests.
His wings suddenly spread behind him as a flash of lightning streaked across the sky, illuminating the dark office like a camera flash.
The shadows cast by the furniture lengthened, disappeared, and then suddenly darkness reigned again.
- They found the head
Hawks looked at me for a reaction, so I stood still, not knowing exactly what he hoped to see.
- Where, may I ask?
- Towards Iwaki. On a farm
Nearly 400 kilometers away from Nagano.
- Who found it ?
- The owner, who contacted the authorities when he saw it fall, thinking it was some kind of alien meteorite. Luckily, our teams were already investigating all the incidents in Japan involving the appearance of a human head and intercepted the call.
I nodded soberly, but inside my relief was indescribable.
- We retrieved the CCTV footage from Nagano and learned that the man was not holding a weapon when you decided to use lethal force.
I knew he was lying because a squadron of my clones had destroyed every video recording device within a four hundred meters radius of Karasu.
The hangar incident was a lesson seared into my memory.
Still, he is right, the mercenary wasn't armed.
- He was going to take it out, I said, but when I saw his expression, I quickly caught myself. Not that this justifies my actions, far from it.
- So you admit your faults ? , Hawks asked icily.
- I do. I should have been more careful, I should have... I shouldn't have killed him.
Hawks remained silent, motionless, waiting for me to continue.
I moistened my lips, glanced up over his shoulder briefly at the veritable flood that was breaking over the city, watched the lightning and imagined the sound of the wind in the city, trying to forget what I was about to do.
- I'm sorry
Hawks didn't answer.
I felt humiliated.
Feeling my ego dig its claws into my oesophagus and try to climb back into my mouth like an acid reflux, I forced myself to swallow to send it back to the depths of my bowels where it should stay forever.
- It won't happen again
- Of course it won't because you're fired
I blinked, wanted to get up but forced myself to remain seated.
- Didn't you hear me ? Get out, you're fired
My voice came back to me like a broken television set.
- You can't do that, I said. The Commission... (I cleared my throat) They wanted me here. You don't have the right to fire me.
What am I going to tell dad ?
Hawks laughed.
- Are you really talking to me about rights ?
He stood up and pointed across the table at me, shaking his index finger to emphasise his point.
- Do you have any idea how much fucking trouble you could have landed me in ?
He straightened up and pushed his chair backwards so hard that it hit the glass and fell over.
- My whole life is this fucking career and this fucking Hawks persona !
He walked around his desk, furious.
- Do you have any idea what your bullshit could have cost me ? My whole life would be ruined ! Everything I've worked for in the last fifteen years would've been gone like that !
He snapped his fingers.
- But you don't understand that, you've got a nice dad who'd throw himself under a bus to save you, oh no, you can't understand what it's like to miss out on something and suffer the consequences all alone, with no one to tell you that everything's going to be all right.
His shoulders trembled, his wings suddenly stretching and relaxing.
- I'm nothing without Hawks ! I'm nothing at all ! If you had taken him from me, then...
Hawks, flushed and breathless, abruptly turned his back on me.
He raised a hand to his forehead as his wings spread out behind him like two large screens to hide him from my view.
- My decision has been made. Get out of here.
I stood up slowly, the legs of my chair creaking against the floor.
- This wasn't my intention at all, I said. Really, Hawks. I didn't think-
Hawks whirled around.
- You 'didn't think' what ? That there would be consequences to your actions ? That if you fucking killed someone in the middle of town, no one would have noticed ?
I remained silent, unable to answer him.
I'd thought- Touya had escaped ten years ago when he should have died in the grave that was our house. My face had been scarred, even if Rei hadn't been the one to do it.
deku - Izuku - had unlocked the power of a damned immortal when he should have disappeared.
History would always get back on track - or so I'd thought.
So I acted as if nothing was worth anything and everything was worth everything and nothing would ever happen to me because it wasn't written.
Hawks, his eyes bloodshot, began to pound his temple with the tip of his finger.
- Think, damn it ! Fucking think !
Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.
Maybe my approach was wrong from the start.
Maybe everything that happened to me was my fault.
Maybe I deserve it.
I let myself fall back onto the arm of my chair, arms flailing.
I smiled, disillusioned.
- I guess you were right, I muttered.
- Was I ? What set you on the right track ? My screams or your expulsion?
- My life is a fucking tragedy.
I never knew what he was going to say.
But out of the corner of my eye I saw his wings folding.
He stood for a long moment, arms at his sides, the tips of his wings brushing the floor.
He left the room.
I stayed alone for a long time, lost, staring at my hands, not really knowing what to do.
And now what ?
Then a glass of water appeared in front of me.
I looked up at Hawks.
- Drink
I took the glass slowly, contemplating the shimmering liquid that rolled like a wave.
- Thank you
Then, without looking up, I lowered my mask and drank in one gulp.
Hawks' shoes disappeared from my view.
The sound of a drawer opening drew my attention and I saw him take out a packet of cigarettes.
He sprawled against the window, staring out at the city as it sank beneath the rain.
The smell of ash rose to my nose.
Hawks took cigarette after cigarette without looking back.
I turned my attention back to the curtain of blurred, luminous shapes outside.
Gradually my heart began to beat in time with the drumming of the rain.
- What a shitty day
I couldn't agree more.
Hawks exhaled, a puff of grey smoke leaving his lips.
- What happened to you ?, he asked. What makes a boy of fifteen kill a man twice his age and not be affected by it ?
There was so much to say I didn't know where to begin.
So I kept it simple :
- Life
Hawks glanced over his shoulder at me, a slight smile on his lips.
- You can't use my own lines against me
I smiled too.
Hawks smoked cigarette after cigarette and neither of us spoke again.
The sun was setting behind the city, a molten speck of gold illuminating the horizon behind the curtain of rain.
- I know you don't want me anymore, I said quietly. And I know the Commission would rather get rid of me than risk their best asset. But I really need you to keep me.
My father would ask questions and I couldn't justify beheading a man in cold blood without the gap between us growing further.
- I know I fucked up, I know I did.
I shook my head, mouth dry
- But please, Hawks. Don't fire me. I... I beg you.
My dad wouldn't talk to me, everyone I knew thought I was unstable - shit, half the world must have thought I was a homicidal maniac.
No other hero proposed me an internship.
If I walked through those doors, it meant I'd managed to ruin the only good thing that had happened to me in a long time.
Hawks blew out a puff of smoke.
- Do you know how crazy you are ?
Bitter bile filled my mouth.
- I do
Hawks turned to me and stared at me in silence for a long moment.
Then he took another drag, longer and heavier than the others.
- But everyone's a bit crazy anyway, so...
He shrugged.
- Does that mean...?
I couldn't even finish my sentence, so afraid was I that he would blow away my meagre hope.
- I'm going to keep you with me, Hawks went on. Not because the Commission is forcing me to - believe me, if there's one group of people who want to get rid of you so your bullshit doesn't come back to bite me, it's them - but because I don't think you're a lost cause.
Then he turned his head towards me, his eyes narrowing.
- Are you a lost cause ?
Maybe not.
- No
Hawks nodded.
- I'm going to keep you with me, but you're going to have to obey a few rules.
He held up two fingers.
- First, you're going to get help. And when I say 'get help', I mean you're going to find yourself a therapist or a shrink or a psychiatrist or whatever it is that will help you heal-
He shook his hand vaguely in my direction.
- Whatever this is
- All right, I replied easily.
I'd always been one of those people who believed that asking for help was a weak thing, something I shouldn't do.
But I'd believed a lot of things that weren't true, and this was where it had led me.
- Second, you're going to obey me completely. I saw what you did with Gigantomachia in Tokyo, I know you're competent, that's not the point - on the other hand, it seems that your thought pattern gets scrambled at one point or another and you do the most illogical things imaginable. I want you to listen to me, I want you to trust my judgement, but most of all I want you to trust me.
I was silent for a few seconds, and the wrinkle that creased his forehead forced me to say hurriedly:
- Does that mean I have to obey the Commission too ?
His brow furrowed.
- This has nothing to do with the Commission, he said. And even less to do with Hawks. What I'm proposing is a partnership, pure and simple, between Keigo Takami and Shoto Todoroki. Do you accept ?
- I do
Maybe it was time for a change.
*
Author's note :
Everyone, I've been cooking some insane shit in the background and I am so, so, so freaking excited for everyone to get there.
Even P@treon members have barely scraped the surface of this new arc - we're going down really badly, so badly I think I'll be able to cement this story as one of the best fanfic you've ever read.
Pay attention to details, I tend to like foreshadowing very much.
Anyway, if you want to read ahead of schedule, then go check out my P@treon, Nar_cisseENG
See you in the next update everyone !