I was frozen in shock.

Behind me I knew Aizawa was stunned and Katsuki had stilled.

Monoma mistook my reaction for disbelief.

“She was a freaking traitor”, he said slowly and loudly “And she’s the reason Aizawa sensei’eyes have been stolen”

I knew she’d sent the text with her location too late for everyone to really do a thing about it ; I knew she’d merely fulfilled her end of the deal on paper but did not really want to screw All for One.

But Katsuki didn’t need to know.

Katsuki didn’t need to be hurt more than he already was.

“Shut the fuck up”, I said, and this time I pushed violently Monoma against the wall, arm across his throat

He didn’t waver, his anger growing by bounds.

“She fucking told me herself that she served Aizawa to All for One on a fucking platt-”

My arm was pressing so hard against his throat I was choking him.

His eyes widened, red and bulging as if they were going to pop out.

He grew a different shade of red ; standing on his tiptoes he tried, with both hands, to push my arm away.

I didn’t move an inch, eyes reduced to two narrow slits, feeling a vicious kind of anger creeping up on me.

“Who else was there ?”

Neito gasped and choked, panic settling in his eyes, whereas I kept pushing.

His nails scratched my skin but made no damage.

His eyes rolled back as if he were going to faint.

“Uraraka… ?”

In this sole sentence I heard both Aizawa’s confusion and hurt ; yet it wasn’t him who had drawn my attention.

A moment later I dropped Monoma : he fell on his knees, taking huge gulps of air as if he’d had been drowning in water.

I moved to the side while looking down on him, feeling nothing but the want of hurting him more.

I had a particular relationship with air privations techniques ; I only choked people when I felt particularly ruthless.

Monoma was panting and shaking, both hands rubbing his sensitive throat.

Katsuki’s shoulder brushed mine when he bent down to grab him by the collar.

He lifted him up easily, as high as I had a few seconds ago.

“Tell me you’re lying”

His voice was shaking, weirdly high pitched.

He sounded as if he were struggling to push the words out of his mouth.

I clenched my jaw.

Monoma was limp as if he had no bones under his flesh, held only by Katsuki’s iron grip.

Katsuki inhaled.

“Tell me you’re lying”, he said, more firmly this time

The fist holding Monoma was shaking.

Monoma gasped.

“She’s the one...”

His voice was faint, barely above a whisper, his mouth was slightly opened, his eyes glassy.

I noticed his left’s ear patch was growing wetter with blood.

“She’s the one who killed Kaminari”

Anger distorted Katsuki’s face.

He pushed Monoma against the wall, fist raised as if he wanted to hurt him.

“I-”

And then, as suddenly, all fight left his body.

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“I-”

Katsuki, eyes brimming with tears, looked at me, pleading.

I knew what he wanted.

I’d tried to warn him about her. He didn’t listen.

And now he wanted me to tell him Monoma was lying.

I could not support his gaze any longer and cowardly looked away.

“I’m sorry”

And for the first time since he entered, Katsuki cried.

I could barely force myself to watch his movements from the corner of my eye ; I wanted to turn my back on him and ignore everything that he was going through, shielding myself from the empathy I felt for him.

Uraraka’s death was of no consequence to me ; it was my friend’s suffering that hurt.

Monoma slowly slid back against the wall, finally falling on the floor. He wisely choose to shut up.

Aizawa was not peeping a word.

The room was silent, devoid of sounds except for Katsuki’s sobs.

That was not how it was supposed to happen.

He should have never known the truth about her- he should have not liked her in the first place – I should have not let him get close to her.

Careful with the hero complex.

Was that what it felt to see the people around you suffer knowing you could’ve done something – anything – to avoid that ? Was that what Heroes felt everyday knowing that if they’d done something different, if they were just one minute earlier, if they were just a tad bit stronger or faster, things could’ve been different ?

What was a Hero if not someone that kept on shouldering the world’s horrors, everyone’s pain and suffering ?

I barely could bear the excruciating weight of my own mistakes : I could fucking not carry Katsuki’s too.

Thus looked at the walls and then the ceiling above Katsuki’s head, everywhere in his direction that wasn’t him.

And then, the doors opened.

“Ah, young Bakugo. You did manage to find-”

The one on the threshold stopped.

My eyes met those of a careful Nezu : his shining eyes roamed from me to Katsuki to Neito to Aizawa.

“I see”

He closed the door behind us.

He shot me a glance.

“Todoroki, would you mind making sure no one can hear us ?”

I showed no reaction yet inwardly, I was taken aback.

How… ?

He could’ve been bluffing. No one really knew what I could do : it could’ve been a way for him to confirm some of the suspicions he had concerning my abilities.

I heard Katsuki sniff and then I heard clothes brushing against skin : I imagined him wiping his eyes with the back of his shirt.

Stiff as a branch, I walked to the door : Nezu shot me a grateful smile.

Old me, paranoid me, wanted to grab him by the collar of his shirt and make him spill everything he’d guessed or known about me but the new me, the one that was better, recognized that Nezu was one of the people on my side.

Of course he’d have deduced some stuff ; it would’ve been more surprising if he didn’t.

I could trust him.

To some extent.

Thus, I put my back against the door, my hands on top another and behind my back.

A silencing seal sprang up from my fingers, isolating us from the world.

I watched intently Nezu while he did so : not even his ear twitched.

Nezu stopped at the foot of Aizawa’s bed.

“Is this true ?”

Aizawa’s voice was not the one I was used to ; it was like chalk on a chalkboard, the kind of voice that make you wince and look away.

“Yes”

Katsuki, who held himself one hand on Aizawa’s bed, deflated.

Monoma was still on the floor, head against the wall and eyes lost on some spot in the ceiling.

There was no more gloating, no more wicked joy. He just looked tired.

He was just a kid. We were all.

If I’d known for sure Katsuki wouldn’t have seen it as a personal slight, I would’ve went and helped Monoma get up.

“You weren’t supposed to tell anyone about this, Monoma. You were supposed to wait for me in the care”

Yet there was no bitterness in Nezu’s voice.

He was as calm as a lake.

I wanted to be like that, too, without the perpetual brewing anger beneath the surface.

“I just wanted to see Aizawa sensei”

And his broken voice squeaked painfully.

“I know”

Nezu shot a glance at Katsuki, then his shoulder moved an inch on the side – as if he were going to look at me – but he suddenly stilled, stiff as if he’d been shot by lightning.

“What did you tell them ?”

My eyebrow half twitched.

What – not merely ‘Did you tell them’, but ‘what did you tell them’.

“I told them what happened. She died, eaten”

Nezu looked at him intently.

From the corner of his eyes I saw his gaze shift to the right, as if he were going to look at me but caught himself at the latest moment once more.

Is he playing with me ?

“This is not...”

Nezu sighed.

“There’s still an investigation going on. This is not things that we can speak lightly about. Monoma, I’d ask you not to tell anyone else about it. Bakugo and Todoroki, you shall not talk about it to anyone else. Did I make myself clear ?”

Neither Katsuki nor Monoma responded.

“It is”

Nezu shot me a glance.

“I’d like to speak to Todoroki now”

The area around Katsuki’s eyes was reddened and irritated.

He left without looking at anyone.

I moved to the side to let him get through the door.

Monoma’s mouth opened and closed : frowning, clearly confused, he finally pursed his lips before getting up on wobbly legs.

When he was next to me, I started to speak.

Monoma raised his hand.

His gaze was blank.

“Save it”

And he limped away.

The door closed once more.

I looked at Nezu.

In the back I saw Aizawa shuffle with the covers of his bed : he drew them over his head and turned his back to us, not moving anymore.

Nezu shot me an half apologetic smile.

And then, he said :

“I was just wondering… How did you manage to fight off All for One after he stole Aizawa’s eyes ?”

I cocked my head slightly to the side.

“You know, don’t you ?”

He looked as if he was not going to speak and then, slowly, a smile grazed his lips.

“You weren’t particularly careful during the Sports festival”

I’d been too cocky : of course I’d made a mistake at some point, and of course Nezu would’ve picket on it.

“Why did you make Katsuki come to Tokyo ?”

Nezu leveled with me an assessing gaze.

“I have a way of making All for One come out of hiding. Bakugo is paramount to it”

“And let me guess : you need me too ?”

Nezu’s dark eyes were still evaluating me.

“There’s so many people wondering what you can really do. Your abilities are so versatile, and the sheer power behind it… There’s equal fear and wonder. Or maybe they fear you more than what you’d like to believe”

His tone was severe yet filled with something akin to a warning.

“They see your usefulness and they all know your true and only weakness”

My eyes narrowed.

“Be careful, Shoto”

He then dismissed me.

*

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