4
Goblin troubles
The goblins stopped just inside the edge of the clearing, clearly unsure of what to do. Once he spotted me Geoff hurried over and explained the situation.
“They recognize me and followed when I waved them along, but I can't communicate with them anymore, they don’t understand zombie.”
That made sense, I couldn't understand Geoff before he fully converted to a zombie either, but that meant this group of goblins had followed a clearly messed up Geoff into the forest without even a word of assurance. I wasn't sure if that was a sign of trust and faith or just stupidity and gullibility. Regardless, I did have the means to translate, or Lilith did anyway.
“Alright, Lilith can speak for us, lead the way. They seem to trust you still even though you are… dead I guess.”
Geoff seemed to have reached a similar conclusion as he didn't waste any time hurrying back to the group with me in tow. As soon as we entered easy earshot Geoff launched into his sales pitch, apparently trying to move the discussion along before our zombification spooked the skittish goblins.
“I found us a safe place to shelter from the trolls. Rob here has promised to protect us and let us live in his dungeon in exchange for us taking minion oaths and joining the dungeon.”
The groans and moans of Geoff's speech put the goblins all on edge but none of them fled. This was certainly a courageous lot despite their obvious terror. Desperation probably had a lot to do with it as well, they didn't really have another option besides running and that would likely just lead to more death as they stumbled on more monsters and animals they couldn't handle.
We waited for Lilith to translate using her weird universal monster language. She didn't translate.
“Hey Lilith, this is where you tell the goblins what Geoff said…” I hissed
“Why should I?”
Seriously? Did I manage to get the pain in the ass teenager of the dungeon world?
“This is what we agreed on, you need to explain the situation to them so we can convert them to zombies and minion them up.”
“Fine, Listen up you diseased monkeys. These two are going to bite you and turn you into zombies. Then you can come inside the dungeon to hide from the big bad trolls. Line up for biting.”
“Shit, that’s not what I said! You’ll scare them off!” Geoff finally sounded angry and I didn't blame him.
“What is your problem Lilith? Why can't you just cooperate?” I demanded
Unfortunately Lilith's declaration that we would be biting them, followed by our own agitated moans was too much for the nervous goblins and they scrambled to get away from the monsters. The one thing that saved the situation was their own haste to get away caused them to trample and knock each other over.
Geoff and I both realized there would be no convincing them to follow willingly after that display, and if they ran into the monster infested woods they would die in short order, so we went with the last option we had. We attacked. In total Geoff had gathered seven goblins, three of which had been knocked down and were still struggling to rise.
I groan shouted at Geoff, “You're faster than me, I'll get the ones on the ground, you get the runners.”
That was all the direction Geoff needed and he launched himself at the nearest goblin still standing. I pounced on one which had managed to climb back to their knees already. It wasn't clear how the zombie infection worked, Geoff had turned after bleeding out so I had no idea if death was a prerequisite for zombification or an inevitability once bitten.
Unwilling to risk the chance that they could survive I immediately went for the throat. The panicked goblin barely mounted a defense and I quickly tore a massive chunk from its neck. Somehow I had truly become a monster, the fact that I was doing it for the goblins own good meant little and my muted emotions fought to make themselves known. It was probable that I was able to do something like this only because I was basically an unfeeling monster, no way human Rob could have torn the throat out of a living creature with his teeth.
The feelings of disgust at myself, sadness at the situation, and rage at Lilith for forcing this all threatened to overwhelm me even through the wet blanket covering my feelings. I had no time to dwell though and grabbed the ankle of a second goblin as they tried to crawl away. The screams and blood filled my senses until everything became gnashing scratching and killing.
If someone told me I had fallen into a feeding frenzy like a shark or something, it would not have surprised me as the next thing I remember was standing over a line of corpses as Geoff dragged another into the clearing. We were both covered in blood head to toe, but all seven goblins were accounted for.
Dungeon wave complete
Calculating results…
Adventurers slain: 0
Monsters slain: 7
Damage taken: 0
Damage dealt: 350
Minions slain: 0
Loot lost: none
Loot gained: 4 survival packs, 3 torches, 5 survival knives, 6 tattered blankets, 3 ragged tents, 1 low quality hunting spear, 5 water skins, 2 iron cooking pans, 3 flint and steel, 1 damaged hatchet, 10 bundles of rations, 7 goblin corpses
Wave duration: 1:12:53
Wave reward: 3 copper 17 tin
Loot value: 2 copper 53 tin
Convert loot to mana coins?
I declined the conversion, I wasn't going to lose so much gear just for a little bit of money again. The haul was fantastic but I couldn't appreciate it as I was still blind with rage at Lilith.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” I demanded
Lilith didn't answer
“Hey, I’m talking to you, you little shit! Look at what you caused! Seven innocent people died in pain and fear because of you!”
Nothing.
“Fucking say something!”
“They aren't people, they aren't even animals they're just disgusting monsters"
That blew my mind, how the hell could she be that ignorant?
“Say something else, of course they are people. They think and feel, two feats I’m beginning to doubt you are capable of.”
“I get it alright? I'm sorry, I didn't think they would run like that.”
“Sorry? You’re sorry? How does that make it better? You need to fix your shit personality in a fucking hurry.”
“It's fine," Lilith's defense came from an unexpected source, Geoff was slumped against a tree but had been listening and was now defending her, “Well, it isn’t fine. That was a bad way to die, and they are still going to panic when they wake back up… but what's done is done. Now they can join the dungeon and be safe from the trolls… believe it or not that wasn't half as bad as the troll raid.”
That was indeed hard to believe. I couldn't imagine much worse than being chased down and mauled by a pair of zombies, but then Geoff had mentioned the trolls laughing while they ate the goblin children in front of them so there were some things worse.
“That still doesn't excuse turning this into a nightmare like that" I pressed, but if Geoff had already moved on there wasn't much I could do besides make it known that Lilith was on my shit list.
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Why was she acting like this? Goblins being unhygienic couldn't be all there was to it, there had to be something else that made her treat monsters like crap. I didn't get time to consider because the first goblin had begun stirring.
More unpalatable actions were necessary, as Geoff had predicted the goblins woke up thrashing. I held down the first to stir while they settled down enough for Geoff to explain the situation. Now that they were zombies they could understand the moan and groan language without Lilith translating.
Luck was on our side finally as Geoff managed to calm the first new zombie goblin and explain most of the situation before the second woke. With the first zombie reluctantly recruited we now had two pairs of hands to restrain the terrified goblins as they woke. The reawakening went about as smoothly as could be hoped for and I examined the goblins while Geoff continued pacifying them.
Name: Gina Livingston
Classification: Unaffiliated Monster
Race: Goblin Zombie
Level: 2
Name: Gregory Livingston
Classification: Unaffiliated Monster
Race: Goblin Zombie
Level: 2
Name: Gerald Livingston
Classification: Unaffiliated Monster
Race: Goblin Zombie
Level: 1
Name: Gabriel Livingston
Classification: Unaffiliated Monster
Race: Goblin Zombie
Level: 3
Name: Gabrielle Livingston
Classification: Unaffiliated Monster
Race: Goblin Zombie
Level: 3
Name: Gary Livingston
Classification: Unaffiliated Monster
Race: Goblin Zombie
Level: 2
Name: Gale Livingston
Classification: Unaffiliated Monster
Race: Goblin Zombie
Level: 1
Well, they had all been successfully converted to zombies. A couple of them were level three so it was fortunate they hadn't decided to fight back and instead only tried to run. A few had been injured in the scuffle in ways that may cause issues in the future. The sample was small and I hadn't been a zombie for long but judging by Geoff's leg and what I understood of zombies, we wouldn’t be healing injuries that we took before converting into zombie form.
“Hey Geoff? Are they all family? The messages all show the same last name.”
Geoff grunted, “Yes, but that is the tribe name, not a family name. Most of us are cousins, Gerald is my brother, and Gabriel and Gabrielle are siblings as well.”
“Why the G names?”
He just shrugged, “ask the ancestors"
Fair enough, though if the G names had been going on long enough that Geoff referred to the originator as an ancestor rather than a great grandparent or something then the goblins either had an impressive register of names or else a lot of confusion during reunions as Gary seven and Gary twelve jockeyed for supremacy over the Garys.
After some time calming the new zombies and detailing the situation over and over, Geoff finally managed to convince them to join the dungeon. One by one they offered their oaths and I returned my own. During the process I received a couple error messages each time I added a new minion.
Error: Minions detected without room assignments
Any unassigned minions will be placed in stasis during invasions
Error: Minion levels exceed allowed maximum for Cave tier dungeon
I asked Lilith about the errors and she answered without her usual thorny tone, possibly legitimately regretful for causing such a bloodbath.
“Any given room has an allowance of sorts for minion power. Right now at Dungeon level one and Cave tier you can have two rooms, each room is allowed up to level three worth of monsters. The boss room includes your own level, so since you are level three you wont be allowed to add any minions to the boss room.
The other room can have three level ones, a level one and a level two, or a level three. Once an invasion starts minions will be teleported to their rooms, any minions who don't have a room disappear until the invasion ends. Once the invasion starts monsters can move from one room to another, they aren't restricted to their starting room.
Lastly, you can artificially boost the allowed level in a single room. I know how to do it because you have minions unlocked, but I don’t know when you’ll unlock the rooms necessary to actually accomplish the feat since that memory has been removed.
You can double the level you’re allowed to assign to a room by not assigning any monsters to two rooms with the same level allowance. So if you had four rooms with a level limit of three, you could leave two rooms empty and the third room could have a level six minion inside.”
“Thank you"
I had more questions about how minions and levels worked but I wasn't about to press my luck when Lilith had only just started reflecting on her actions. Plus my too much information headache had flared back up.
For the time being, and if I understood Lilith correctly, I was able to assign minions up to level three in the first room. Then, during an invasion I would start in the boss room and could quickly join them to fight off whatever invaders showed up.
That left me with a tough decision. If I wanted to maximize the power then I should pick one of the level threes and give them the spear. I only had one spear so a level two and a level one at the same time wouldn’t be much use. Geoff was the most reliable and up to date of the goblins though so it might be better to assign him and one of the level ones to help distract any invaders.
Then I remembered I wasn't alone, Geoff was far smarter than I imagined goblins could be, perhaps the rest had a similar intellect. Lilith might be helpful as well, or maybe not, who could tell with her.
“Hey everyone. I have a question for you.” I explained the situation and the goblins all listened attentively.
When I finished, they began discussing and muttering. Much head scratching and chin rubbing took place and eventually the goblins did come up with a couple good ideas.
Geoff spoke up first, “Aren’t you able to make things with the construction interface? Why not make more spears?”
I was about to explain how I couldn’t make something I hadn't absorbed before when I realized I was wrong twice over. They had a spear I could absorb right there, but even before that I should be able to make even better weapons with the iron and wood that I had absorbed. I received quite a bit of money from the wave event so my earlier excuse was also invalid.
With the practice from before I was able to knock out a wooden weapon rack and a few options for weapons. Spears, knives, clubs, and even something resembling a poorly made sword.
The second idea came from the youngest looking goblin, Gale.
“What about a big rock to drop on their heads?”
Again, on the surface that wouldn't work, I wasn't allowed to make traps yet, but I had considered something similar when finishing the current layout. How did the dungeon know what was a trap or not? The dark as hell narrow stairway didn’t count. What if I made a narrow bridge across a pit? If it was a solid bridge it wouldn't be a trap but it wouldn't take much effort to knock someone off a narrow bridge. What about a highly flammable room and a torch? If nothing could trigger the torch to fall but instead a goblin zombie tossed it then it wasn't really a trap but more like an ambush using the environment.
Where was the line?
I groaned and held my head with both hands. I was about to go swimming through errors again wasn't I?
Swim through errors I did. About three hours of errors and enough frustration to give me an ulcer if I had a functional digestive system later, I had a new and improved dungeon I was pretty proud of.
What exactly constituted a trap still eluded me but my solution was still impressive. I didn't want to make the first room larger, I liked the small footprint of the building on the surface and wanted to keep the possibility of hiding it open. In the end I went with Gale's suggestion in a more literal sense than I would have imagined. I put a big ass rock at the top of the room and wrapped it in ropes mounted to brackets. I hid the rock from view with a small thin wall separating it from the stairwell.
On the floor the block pattern changed so the goblins could see the danger zone, and a ladder led to the ropes where a goblin could cut the ropes dropping the rock onto whoever happened to be in the wrong place. One of the major restrictions on traps had been trigger methods. All the traps that didn't count as traps had to be manually triggered rather than using a tripwire or pressure plate or something.
I massively expanded the second room and made a bunch of furniture, effectively converting the boss chamber into a bunk house. When invasions started the goblins would be put into some sort of stasis, but the rest of the time they were just living their unlife and some comforts would be welcome. I built chairs and tables and beds and cooking pits. I moved the weapon racks to the doorway between rooms so the goblins on duty could quickly retrieve something to fight with and I also could grab something.
My intent was to have one goblin lure the invaders to the rock trap while another prepared to cut the ropes. Once the trap was sprung I would join the fight as well and the three of us would finish off whatever survived. That plan necessitated two minions so I easily chose Geoff as the bait man. He had the most experience and while the rest of the goblins weren't stupid, Geoff was definitely the smartest of the bunch.
Gale volunteered as trap springer, very proud of her ‘drop a rock on them' plan. It was hard to tell goblin's age and they were zombies now, muddying the waters further, but Gale seemed very young, almost a child to my eyes. None of the other goblins objected though and I wasn't going to reject a volunteer, it was her idea so trap springer she became.
With the dungeon built and prepped, all goblins aware of their roles, and the light finally fading, we all moved into the bunk room to rest. Zombies apparently didn't need sleep, but rest after such a mentally exhausting day seemed wise. The goblins all agreed and went about selecting their sleeping arrangements.
All said and done the renovations ended up costing quite a bit compared to the first time I built a room. I spent a bit extra to unlock materials for the ropes and beds as well leaving me with only eighty three tin. It turned out that one hundred tin made a copper, I suspected that would be the case for copper to silver, silver to gold, and so on. That meant one mithril coin was equivalent to ten billion tin. I needed to get me some of that sweet sweet mithril.
I tried my best not to think about the first room being built automatically because Geoff was too close when I put the crown on. That automatic building cost ten silver if I remember correctly, that would be one hundred thousand tin. I tried really hard not to think about that.
The goblins quickly settled down into their bunks and closed their eyes, resting if not sleeping. I felt for the little guys, I might have had a rough time of it, dying and then being sent to this world as a zombie then error fighting all day, but they had their families wiped out in front of them. Then as they finally found some sign of peace and safety, one of their own and some other random monster attacked them, once again killing their family right in front of them.
I had made and oath to each of them when they turned into minions about protecting them and helping them grow, but I made another silent promise to myself as I lay down to rest.
I'll make a home for you, and any monsters who need it. Somewhere safe from the insanity of this world.
Something must have heard me then and took that as a challenge.
Dungeon Invaders detected
Invaders: 5
Dungeon construction interface locked during invasion
Dungeon entry and exit locked during invasion
Unassigned minions locked in stasis for duration of invasion
Moving minions to assigned rooms