20
Venomous Saber-toothed Jackalope
It took me some time as I lay in my bed to realize that an entire day had passed where nothing bad had happened. As soon as I had the thought, I tensed up, waiting for the shoe to drop. But nothing happened. Geoff had met with humans, and they just played charades and Pictionary to set up a trade deal; no blood was spilled. The goblins worked on their various projects and played their games; no one had a breakdown. The weird demon horse thing spent the day tearing up Tessa's garden, who just looked on in exasperation; no grudges were held. It was the most calm, relaxing day I had seen since entering this world. I lay awake for hours, unable to slip into the half-sleep trance we zombies used to rest. I was just too tense, worried something would ruin it.
Eventually morning came without incident, and I felt more tired than ever. The one good thing about not sleeping was that I was the first to be up finally. Dawn in the forest was a surreal thing. The forest didn't really sleep; it only changed which creatures were out. Dawn and dusk were crossover times, where even more life than usual stirred. Animals and bugs scampered, flew, leapt, and whatever else they did to move about. Every variety of chirp, call, and croak could be heard.
I just stood there for a moment in the dim light, listening. My reverie was shattered by a crashing sound off to the side. When I saw the source of the racket, I relaxed again. The humans were making an early start to their logging. After making their deal with Geoff, they had decided to start the path-clearing project at the dungeon. This way they could drag the logs to the dungeon for us to purchase, and they wouldn't have to try to find a way around the other trees. As they cleared the path, they would also be making a trail for them to haul the logs along.
Handy was also up and stood at the fence, just shy of the end of his chain, silently watching the humans. His grinding bark was terrifying, but being quietly watched by a winged, fanged, pony-sized hell beast, which was only held back by a chain, was probably even more terrifying than if he had been barking at them.
Another tree fell, and I realized there were no sounds of chopping, just the trees falling. I walked over to the fence to investigate. The lack of axe chopping was odd; Gabe and Gabby had said they were using axes when logging for the village. I watched as the humans moved to a new tree, leaving the fallen one for the moment. Two large men carried an odd contraption between them and set it down next to another, still standing tree. One of the men brought over a wire, which he fed through a slot on the contraption. Suddenly a bright light blinded me for a moment, and I thought the machine had exploded.
Hunter the Hunter turned again, and the glare from his polished head moved away from my eyes. Blinking away spots, I saw the two I had been observing were finishing their setup of the unexploded machine. I had never seen one before, but I had heard of wire saws on Earth, and that was exactly what this was.
The thin wire was fed through the machine and wrapped around the tree, settling into a thin score mark I hadn't noticed before. Hunter himself loaded a small glowing rock into the machine, replacing a dull-looking one. A lever was thrown, and the wire began moving, slowly at first, then faster and faster. As the wire cut the tree, a crank was turned that moved the whole apparatus back, keeping tension against the trunk. In just a minute or so, the tree fell. It took longer to move and set the machine than it took to cut the tree.
“I need one of those… a bigger one, and a smaller one.”
The voice came from waist height just feet away, startling me. Gale had been watching as well, drawing something and making notes on her version of Geoff's clipboard. Hers was much larger and sturdier looking.
“How long have you been there?”
She just narrowed her eyes at me.
At some point the workers decided they had enough fallen trees and began limbing them, while still more workers finally brought out the axes and began chopping stumps. The first delivery of stripped logs came a bit before noon, and the humans pulled a heavy-duty sled that held the front half of the log up off the ground. I had set up a bell outside the fence, and while we couldn't hear it in the dungeon, we were rarely all inside. On the rare occasion when no one was outside to hear the bell, Handy had taken it upon himself to echo it. Rather than his spine-tingling, grinding bark, he clanged in an approximate imitation of the bell. The largest difference was the volume. They might be able to hear the hell beast in the human village.
Terry opened the gate while Tessa held Handy back. I wasn't sure how this would work, because invasions only triggered when someone or something entered the dungeon proper. But Dungeon waves started and ended at the perimeter, just outside of Mitch the Ditch. The humans dragged their delivery into the fenced area and looked around for a bit. Geoff finally approached, and Hunter met him.
I was planning on staying out of the negotiations; Geoff had the amulet, so I wouldn’t be able to understand the humans. Not to mention if he was going to be the main liaison, then he needed to start being the one people associated the dungeon with. They spoke back and forth a bit, Hunter obviously surprised by Geoff’s sudden mastery of the human tongue. Money was exchanged, and the workers used another mechanism to release the log from the sled.
“They are going to keep bringing a steady stream of the wood all day. I told them not to worry about stacking it anywhere special, that we would handle it. Hunter did ask us to keep Handy clear of the gate area, though.” Geoff reported once the humans had left.
I nodded, “At some point we should get some samples of their machines and whatever it was they were using to power the saw. But… maybe not immediately; we don’t want to let them know how much we don't know.”
“Way ahead of you, boss, I actually told them we could repair some of the wear and tear for them so they don't have to take it back to the village. And they said Shale is the only one in town with any books, so that will have to wait until they return for the day to ask him about it.”
“Perfect, I'll just get out of your way then and let you handle it.”
I turned to go check on the rest of the dungeon, which had woken from its rest and returned to business as usual while I had been watching the humans. I only made it two steps, though, before screaming and yelling kicked off outside of the fence.
A white and brown blur bounced from stump to stump among the humans. The workers all either fled or grabbed a nearby weapon, be it an axe or just a branch. No one swung right away, though, and Hunter was struggling to be heard over the panicked people and… something else. Another sound was reverberating through the forest, like a tornado siren.
As the small blur flashed further away before dashing back toward the humans, I realized the sound changed volume with its distance. Whatever this thing was, it was making the sound; it was wailing as it ran around and between the humans. One of the men with an axe swung as the thing ran past. He missed by a dozen feet or so, and before he could pull back and recover, his target returned. It happened in a flash, the speedy monster barely pausing at its target. The axe-wielding man never got to stand back up straight as a fountain of blood erupted from his neck, and he collapsed to the ground.
Hunter yelled something again, and the rest of the humans seemed to finally hear him, slowly lowering their weapons. Geoff had also been watching the events. He must have still had Hunter targeted for translation and relayed his words. “He said, ‘Don’t attack it. Don’t attack it. It's one of the twisted ones. If you don't attack it, it won't attack you.’”
I squinted, trying to get a better look, but it was just too fast. “What the hell is that thing?”
“Don't know, never seen something like that before. But that cry... I HAVE heard that before… Goblins know to stay away from that sound.”
“I think anything with ears knows to stay away from that sound."
He just grunted. Hunter's words proved true. None of the other humans attacked, and the wailing cry slowly faded. As the sound faded, the creature slowed as well. Soon I was finally able to get a look, though it was too far away to see properly. It was just a small furry animal with horns. The humans all remained perfectly still, even when the thing stopped its sound completely. The creature looked around quietly for a moment from its perch on top of Hunter's head. I admired the man’s nerve, being able to stand still with a fluffy ball of murder on his head. As it turned out, I was about to get a better look.
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It hopped down and started meandering toward the still open gate of our clearing. I wasn't about to let that thing in, though, and I quickly jumped into construction mode, removed the open gate, and replaced it with a closed copy. The humans were all watching and would see the gate suddenly pop closed. It was more information than I wanted to give away, but I didn't have an option.
I confirmed and restarted time. Geoff and I watched silently as whatever it was made its way to the now-closed gate. It stopped for a moment. Then it hopped through the gate. It didn't even seem to notice anything was there. It just bounced, and the barbed iron gate bent, twisted, and tore out of the way.
Lilith spoke up, “I would like to again point out the uselessness of your fence.”
“Not now." I hissed back.
“… yeah, that’s fair, sorry.”
The minions that lingered on the surface had all seen what had happened with the human’s run-in, and blessedly, they all remained still and silent. Even Terry and Handy had frozen. As it grew closer, I could see a trail of red behind it. The fence had done damage after all. Tiny cuts bled all across its body; it just didn't seem to notice. Then I could get a better look and tell what it was.
It was… a jackalope… A rabbit with deer antlers. But there was more; aside from the bleeding wounds, it also dripped green-tinted saliva off foot-long fangs, and its eyes glowed a nasty yellow color.
Name: Vicky
Classification: Unaffiliated Monster
Race: Venomous Saber-toothed Jackalope
Level: 1
I was now officially done judging by level. The jackalope continued hopping along past me. Fortunately, zombies were capable of remaining still for a long time. Unfortunately, hell beasts were not. Handy whined and shuffled around a bit to keep the small monster in view. That wasn't enough to set it off, though. It did, however, turn toward Handy and start hopping toward him.
Several things happened in the next seconds, and I would later have to ask around to get the full story. First, Handy couldn't take it anymore and barked at the jackalope, taking a threatening half step toward it. That set off the monster, which reacted almost instantly and sped forward at the hell beast in one massive jump. Terry, who had still been playing with Handy when everything started, was closest to the action and shoved Handy out of the way. The Jackalope had been laser-focused on Handy but couldn't change direction midair, so it instead collided with Terry's outstretched arm. Terry's arm ripped clean off.
The jackalope landed sideways, unprepared for the bloody mess under it. When it couldn't get a proper footing, it slid along a few feet, coming to a brief stop away from any of the minions. In that moment a trap that only two people even knew existed sprung. A cage of thick iron bars sprung up out of the ground. The cage didn't have a top, being just a circle of about six feet in diameter, but it was tall. The top of the bars reached at least ten feet up.
The wailing started.
Everyone started running for weapons or cover. This thing had walked through the fence without noticing it and ripped off Terry's arm accidentally. Even this cage wouldn't hold long. Sure enough, the creaking and groaning of strained metal being bent could be heard through the near deafening cry.
Lilith spoke in my mind, “Construction!”
I stopped time.
“Shit, I thought I had been better about remembering that… I might have been able to block the thing out or something.”
Lilith was quiet for a moment before saying, “I have a reputation of sarcasm and biting remarks to uphold… pretend I said something witty and cutting. Then build a stone box around that thing before it kills everyone.”
With a relieved chuckle, I went to do just that. But I got more errors.
Error: cannot build a trap around a living monster
I tried several ways to make it work. I tried air holes thinking it might be a trap because of suffocation. I tried making it huge, thinking it was about proximity. I tried leaving the ground as ground and just boxing it in from the top and sides. I even tried just reinforcing the bars and putting a top on the cage.
Nothing worked.
“Any other ideas?”
Lilith sounded pained, “… not this time…”
We sat in that interface, me and Lilith, for hours. We tried anything we could think of with even the remotest possibility of working.
“What about boxing the minions in to protect them instead?” I asked.
“It might work, but only for a little while; it will break through. What about just… letting it kill them and you run for the dungeon?”
I mentally winced, “Ehh, I don’t know… Nothing in the dungeon will kill this thing. It is too short for the spiked log and the cable trap. The only trap that might work is the rock, but it would have to trip the wire and then stand still. Are there any traps we can add to the dungeon that could stop it?”
“Probably… But we would need to ask Gale; I don’t know much about traps, and she is all the way in the workshop. There’s no way we could make it in time.”
This went on and on. I was growing more and more desperate as time went on, and both of our suggestions kept getting more and more ridiculous. Until we reached a point where we just had no more ideas left. We were silent a long time, and I just floated around the dungeon's area of influence aimlessly.
Finally, as I was floating along the ground, not paying any attention to where I was, just trying to think, Lilith yelled.
“STOP!”
“What?!”
“What is that?!” she asked.
“What is what? What are you talking about, and why are you yelling? It's only us in here.”
“Right there in the grass."
I saw what she was talking about then; a few of the poisoned caltrops that we hadn't needed before had been left out.
I grunted, “We already tried making poisons and caltrops; they still send the error.”
“You don't need to make any; these ones are right here!”
Damn… that was risky. This was on the opposite side of the yard from where I was currently. And, while it hadn't rained, there was still morning dew. The chances that the poison remained and was strong enough to affect the monster were low as hell. I pointed all this out to Lilith, but she just shut my protests right down.
“What other plan do you have?”
So, I set everything up. I put as thick a wall as I was able to between myself and the Jackalope. I used the idea Terry had accidentally given me and scattered more slippery, squishy things around. Rather than troll arms, I went with the slime that Handy had unlocked for me. Then I braced myself, hovering my mental finger over the confirm button that would unfreeze time.
“When it starts…” I started, but Lilith knew what I was going to say and agreed before I could finish.
“Yeah, I got it, just… run fast, huh?”
I confirmed the changes.
Immediately the wailing sound and the screaming hit me like a pick in my ears. I started sprinting as fast as I could to the caltrops. Only one step into my run, I found myself wishing for the quiet of the wailing before. Lilith had started her own screech to pull its attention. If the Jackalope was a tornado siren, Lilith was the tornado. Somehow, rather than just distracting sounds, she managed words.
“RUN TO THE DUNGEON; ROB AND I WILL STOP IT!”
My head was pounding from all the noise, and I couldn't look around to see if the minions heeded her words. My only job was running. I had to get to the caltrops. A quarter of the way across the yard, and I heard the thing break free. The sound of metal snapping rang out across the yard but was quickly drowned out as Lilith renewed her caterwauling. I ran harder.
Halfway and I heard the wall smash, stones falling upon stones. I wasn't going to make it.
Three quarters and I could feel it behind me; I could feel it about to leap.
Lilith shrieked, “DOWN!"
I didn't think; I dropped.
Fire ripped across my back, and everything went quiet. I thought I was dead. The smell of dirt in my face and the searing pain in my back told me otherwise. I tried to rise, to look for the Jackalope, but I couldn’t move.
“MR. ROB?”
I couldn’t tell who it was. Lilith answered for me.
“We’re alive… well… not dead anyway.”
Footsteps.
“Oh Gods! Your back!”
The pain was getting worse, and I still couldn’t move.
“GINA… come over here! Gina… gina…” The voice faded, and darkness took me.
I was numb when I woke back up in my bunk. I could move again, but I felt sluggish.
“You're awake!”
It was Tessa. The troll hovered over me, completely shadowing an irritated-looking Gina, who was attempting to check me over.
Gale spoke from nearby, “We had to… uh… we gave you the Geoff special…”
The Geoff special? I couldn't talk yet; I was regaining control over my body, but I wasn't quite there yet. As I worked my jaw, Gina explained a bit better.
“The monster is venomous; it has a strong neurotoxin and paralytic. You were alive but unresponsive. We had to feed you the reset potion.”
Reset potion, that was a nice way of saying they force-fed me more poison to finish off the job so I could respawn.
“Get me some of that venom!” Gale yelled excitedly.
Tessa and Gina both shot her a glare, but she was unfazed, bouncing and grinning madly.
I ignored her for the moment, “So… it worked? It's dead? How is everyone?”
“Yes, the monster is dead. The caltrops…”
“Shepard!”
Gina closed her eyes and continued, “... Shepard, stuck it right in the face. Your blood... and some of Terry's, was too slick for it to stop, and it rolled across more of the c... Shepard, sticking itself several times. It seems the poison is more effective when dried. It only managed to stand for a moment before collapsing, dead.”
Tessa took over, “Everyone is fine; you and my baby had it the worst. Terry came crying to me about his arm… while carrying it… in both hands… Anyway, you saved my baby.”
She couldn't hold back anymore and scooped me up in a crushing hug.
Gale was now scowling but still bounced with excitement, “Hurry up and absorb the venom! I can make traps with it!”
Gina scolded her, “Just calm down. We can deal with it later; you don’t need more traps right now.”
“No, you don’t understand! It's a paralytic! We can use it to knock out animals and monsters to bring back here and feed to the real traps. We get coins and fulfill the trap kill requirement for the tier! Two stones with one bird!”
She was right, and who knew what Gina could do with something like that as well? I quickly absorbed the Jackalope unlocking the venom and returned to the troll hug.
I wiggled my arm free and flashed Gale a thumbs up. She gave a little hop and squeak.