27

Enemy Territory

The goblin receptionist sighed, “A new dungeon?”

I nodded, “I am.”

“Read this, then come back.”

The goblin held out a thick pamphlet with bold writing across the top.

I winced. “I… can’t read that.”

A disgusted look crossed the goblin's face before they stood from the desk and waved me to follow. As we crossed the room, the goblin started delivering a monotone speech.

“Welcome, new dungeon, to the DBU headquarters. Here the top dungeons, the ones with connections to humankind, have set up a mutually beneficial arrangement. All members of the DBU and all major human settlements follow the treaties and contracts that protect even the lowest of dungeons from indiscriminate plundering.”

As they said that last part, the goblin shot a look at me loaded with disdain, suggesting I was the ‘lowest of dungeons.' We had made our way to the center of the entry room, and the goblin held their arms out wide.

“Behold, the entire known world. Every light you see is a member of the DBU. Every light you see is both protected and protector. Monster rights are a serious concern, and the top dungeons treat all members equally.”

We continued along, coming to the screen that the tall monster from before had recently finished checking over. The goblin tapped the screen, and a wall of text appeared.

“Every Dungeon you see here is a member. All have agreed to the terms and are bound to aid one another when called upon. Without the support of the DBU, the average life expectancy of a Dungeon is one month. Becoming a member will grant you a support network and access to Union-exclusive craftsmen and special artifacts. All of this, and you must only agree to a contract stating you will come when called upon and obey orders from the head of the union… and pay monthly dues.”

“Obey orders? Who is the head of the union?”

The goblin looked irritated at the interruption. “We are… ugh, the current Master Dungeon, Glorious Eden, run by one of the top generals from the previous Master Dungeon. Give the Goblin king.”

The goblin raised his chin proudly, as if I should be impressed. I was not impressed; I was in shock, which was close enough to fake it. Gib was the one Squirrely McSquirrel kept warning me about. The DBU was run by Lilith's greatest enemy.

I coughed and tried to change the subject, “So this board lists all the dungeons?”

The goblin clicked their tongue and shook their head, “No, only the members of the DBU.”

“Is there a dungeon named ‘BW’ on here?”

“BW? What sort of stupid name… let me see…”

I couldn't read any of the words, a weakness I would have to rectify soon. It looked like the screen functioned just like a computer terminal from Earth, only supersized. Eventually the goblin nodded their head.

“Yes, here we are, Dungeon BW, fairly new. Riiiight… there.”

The goblin pointed to a spot on the giant floor map where a lone light shone in an expanse of green.

“So… What happens if there is a… disagreement between members of the DBU? Do the dungeons fight each other?”

The goblin laughed, “Have a problem with this BW dungeon, huh? Well, fights among members are not allowed. Seniority decides arguments. If a dungeon is abusing its seniority, a form can be filled out to file a complaint, and an officer will take a look.”

So relying on the DBU was not just dangerous because of Lilith's connection but also useless.

I pretended to be considering, “I will have to think on it; we don’t have much money for the dues right now.”

The goblin shook its head. “I would hurry up if I were you. Like I said, unprotected dungeons only last about a month at best. Wouldn't want this BW dungeon to stamp you out… would we?”

I quickly left the building while the goblin grinned evilly and waved behind me. Somehow we had enemies everywhere, even here in another dimension. After finding out who was at the top and where I was, I really didn't feel comfortable in the market anymore. This had quickly turned from a small, relaxing break into something far more dangerous. It felt like everyone here was an enemy just waiting to strike. I hurried along the streets following the pulling sensation back to the misty door and returned back to the dungeon, feeling eyes on my back the entire way.

I hadn't been gone for long, and the minions were still going about their last-minute preparations for battle. A pile of weapons had accumulated in the bunk room, Gale could be heard tinkering in her workshop, and the other minions were still training with Gary. The last-minute training was more of a recap and discussion on what exactly the plan for battle was. No sense wearing everyone out before battle. The only minion not doing much was Handy.

The hell beast was outside chewing on some sort of large bone Tessa had extracted from one of the animals the hunters had brought back. I decided to unwind by playing with the monster. The pressure had been getting to me before, and now knowing just how strong our foes were and what we faced only made it worse. Gib was the boss of the strongest dungeon in the world, the Master Dungeon. The squirrel was convinced Gib would be after Lilith, so we couldn't let information about her or her past out of the dungeon. That was assuming Lilith's name hadn't already leaked out; it might already be too late. I couldn't remember who all knew she was here.

Things were going too fast… Even the trolls, who were really the least of our problems, had the backing of all the Dungeon Boss Union if they wanted it. If Kasumi called on backup, could we survive? Worries and worst-case scenarios swirled around in my head. At some point, I found myself standing in the yard staring into space. I had no idea how long I had been standing there staring blankly at nothing. Someone sat on the ground next to me, Geoff, patting Handy, who crunched happily into a new bone.

Geoff sighed, not looking at me, but into the trees instead. “We can handle it… Or we can't. We have done our best; YOU have done your best. That’s all anyone can ask. There's no sense worrying about it so much.”

“But what if we lose?”

Geoff shrugged, “Then we lose. But no one will say we didn't fight our hardest.”

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“I feel like there is something we could be doing to increase our odds… Maybe there's some way we can turn the humans against them or trick them into leaving the dungeon open… something.”

“You'll drive yourself crazy doing that. It's almost time; just come back inside and discuss the battle plans with us. That’s all there is left to do.”

“Yeah… alright.”

The battle plan discussion was really just Gary talking to the group of minions about how to fight. We all knew what we were supposed to do. We just had to do it and hope it was enough. The first strike would be the most important. If Kasumi was part of the wave, then we could destroy the dungeon by killing her and taking the crown… simple. If not, then we would have to fend off the wave, and we would be rewarded for it, which would make the next wave easier.

One thing I hadn't considered was the next tier; maybe if we could tier up, we would have another major boost in power like this recent one.

“Lilith… What are the requirements for the next tier?”

She just shook her head sadly, “Not possible, trust me. Worrying about it right now would just be a distraction.”

I had pretty much assumed that was the case. The previous tier had taken focused effort and a good amount of time to knock out. There was no way we would be so lucky as to be able to finish another tier in less than a day. As the ‘battle planning' dragged on, Lawrence raised his hand, like we were in school.

“Lawrence… You don’t have to be called on… What is it?” I asked.

He looked at his hand sheepishly and lowered it. “Right… what about… attacking them first? They wouldn't expect it; we would have surprise on our side.”

A few seconds later, after Geoff translated, Squirrely McSquirrel answered him, “Look around. This is a dungeon; it's built specifically for defense. If someone attacks here, they have to fight their way through a dozen or more traps to even see one of you to fight… That will be true for them as well.

Surprise can only get you so far, and you’ll have to fight through whatever defenses they have set up to stop you. A defensive battle is much more likely to succeed.”

Lawrence frowned but didn’t argue.

I added my own thoughts, “We probably will have to attack at some point. Once they back off and give up. Otherwise they'll just come back for more later. We have to get stronger first, though...

“Stronger…”

The voice came from Sebastian, the lich bird on Gale's shoulder. Intelligent birds often repeated words they had heard, but that was true for words, not zombie groans. Sebastian had spoken zombie in a clear voice, and it didn’t sound like a regurgitation of what he had heard; it sounded thoughtful.

“Sebastian… Can you understand us?”

The bird just stared… maybe not then. Strange Pseudo-Lichs were a topic of investigation that would have to be put off. More on the ever-expanding list of later problems.

“What about the mini-boss thing? I know we talked about it before, but it might be just what we need.” Gale asked.

I grimaced, “Yeah… but we don't know for sure what the result is. Lilith said it would mess with minion assignment rules… What does that mean? We might shoot ourselves in the foot.”

Tessa, who had been pretty quiet for a long while, finally spoke up, “We need to try it out and see… I… I don’t want to fight, and I don’t want Terry to fight. They are our people... You even said that there are copies of us with them… I won't kill Terry, not even a fake.

If it ruins the assignments, then you can just take me and Terry out in order to fix it…”

“But… don’t you want to fight to protect this place?” I asked.

“I do, but not like this… Killing my boy... it won't happen.”

I decided not to point out that the others were the originals and it was more accurate to call this zombie Tessa and Terry the fakes. Or that we had ‘killed' both of them at least once, maybe twice, depending on how you looked at it. I did have some amount of survival instincts after all.

“Alright then… Lilith, do you have any idea what will happen? Any at all?”

She shook her head, but Squirrely McSquirrel spoke up, “I will point out that I was not privy to the decisions and inner workings of the previous dungeon… but I did notice a couple of things. There were only a handful of mini-bosses even at the peak of the previous dungeon's power. They always were part of the defending force, always... that's all I know.”

Gale stood up. “I’ll volunteer. I am the trap master; I should be near the traps. I'll defend our home as a mini-boss.”

This went against our previous decision, and I worried it was only happening now because of the looming danger. But it was true we would need some advantage, every advantage… I nodded and focused on making Gale a mini-boss.

Designate Minion, Gale, as Mini-boss?

I checked one more time, and everyone seemed in agreement.

Mini-boss selected

Gale now permanently bound to dungeon

Gale will no longer receive pay

The dungeon is responsible for paying the level up costs

Maximum level raised for Gale from 3 to 6

Mini-bosses must always be assigned to a room

Mini-bosses may not leave the dungeon

Upon ascension Mini-bosses are forced to ascend with the dungeon

There wasn't much unexpected there. But there were a couple of points that had serious implications.

“Gale… Do you know what happened? Can you feel it or something?” I asked.

I hoped she had some sort of innate understanding; I did not want to have to actually tell her. I wasn't so lucky, though, and she shook her head.

“It says you are stuck with the dungeon… You can't leave, even if we manage to make it to the Master Dungeon tier and ascend.”

She didn't look particularly bothered by this, so I continued.

“I am supposed to pay for your levels now… and you are always defending…”

She grinned, “So… you gonna pay for me to level up to three then?”

I snorted, relieved that the news didn’t upset her. “I’ll do you one better… or three better.”

A Mini-boss has leveled up

Gale: Level 2-6

Familiar Level raised in conjunction with master

Sebastian: level 2-6

It ended up costing just under a copper to go from level two to six. The familiar leveling up as well was a nice bonus I hadn't expected. A bit of testing within the construction interface revealed that there were no special rules for mini-boss assignments aside from the fact that they HAD to be assigned to a room. Still, her being level six threw off the careful balance we had set up. That just meant we had to remove either Tessa, Terry, or Lawrence to free up enough levels for her. Tessa demanded Terry be excused, even though the troll himself fought her on it.

With that done, I also decided to level up myself. Leveling myself cost significantly more. Just two levels cost a copper and ten tin. At some point I would have to look into the math behind the leveling costs. There was just always more to do.

Dungeon Boss level up

Rob: Level 4-6

New ability: Exhume

Now there was something new. An ability, I had noticed the message before saying that I hadn't unlocked a new ability, but didn't think much about it. Now I had unlocked ‘Exhume,' whatever that was. Time to ask the experts.

“Lilith, squirrel guy, what are abilities? How do they work?”

The two looked at each other for a moment and shrugged.

“No idea… something to do with you, and not the dungeon, I would guess.”

Alright, so now I knew what I would be testing for the rest of the night. I made my way outside. I knew what the word ‘exhume' meant, but how it applied in the context of an ability I had no idea. It was probably a safe bet to assume it had something to do with dirt, though. I picked a random spot in the yard and… thought.

Nothing happened.

I had hoped it worked on will like how entering and exiting the construction interface did, but I was wrong. Without anything else to do, a handful of the dungeon inhabitants followed me outside and watched. Now I was getting self-conscious.

“I can't do it when you’re watching!”

Gale snorted.

“That’s not... never mind.”

I blocked them out and refocused on the dirt. What was I missing? This would probably be something I could research in the dungeon market. There was bound to be some decent information sources there after all. But now that I knew who ran the show, that place just felt off. I would have to figure this out myself, at least for now. Still, I couldn’t think of anything. Exhume usually meant to dig up a body or something, but we didn’t have any buried bodies to…

“Gale, you're so interested in this; you get to be the guinea pig. Go inside the dungeon and stand… umm… in the doorway to the bunk room.”

She grumbled but complied. Once Geoff confirmed she was in place, I tried again, focusing on ‘Exhuming’ Gale. The goblin burst from the ground in a shower of dirt and stone. Once the clumps of dirt stopped falling and we could get a good look at her, we saw Gale. Wide-eyed and open-mouthed, staring at the ground where she stood on undisturbed grass.

“What the hell?” She whispered.

I grinned at her, “Tada!”

“Not ta-da! Where is Sebastian?!”

Oh…

We ran back into the dungeon where she had been standing moments before. On the ceiling, which was just as unbroken as the ground outside, was a smear of red and feathers.

“Sebastian!” Gale cried out.

“Uh… oops?”

Gale turned baleful eyes on me.

“Uh, oops? Really?”