1
Dying and undying
Finally it was Friday night. I had been pulling twelve hour days all week and was thoroughly ready for a couple days off. I'd been replaying an old RPG with a couple new mods and it had completely consumed my free time this past month. The one good thing about working so much, aside from a little bit of money, was that video games lasted a long time when you could only play an hour or so each day. I refused to go after the final boss, instead exploring and leveling, so my character was far overpowered at this point and I could blitz through a dungeon in a single night no problem.
“Hey Rob, you coming for drinks?” Chris always tried to include me despite my introverted ways.
We had met at work and while driving delivery trucks didn't offer a lot of face time with coworkers we became fast friends. The radios and cell phones we all had were one of only a couple options for staying awake on the mind numbing drives, so we all kept in touch while we worked. We had been friends for years now and I did join them all for the more social after work events once in a while, but most days I begged off.
“Nah, I’m still not right after last time, who’s idea was it to pound a glass of straight Everclear again?” I answered, the memory still sent a shiver up my spine.
Chris laughed, “Yours, you were the only one who mentioned it, and the only one who did it. I’m just impressed you managed to stay vertical for another ten minutes after that.”
“Well never again, I don't know how something can be a liquid but instantly dry your mouth on contact, that shit is straight poison. Nope I’m just gonna play some video games and maybe read a book or something.”
“Suit yourself, you'll never find a girlfriend if you stay home all day" Chris shrugged
We had made our way to the time clock and clocked out before walking to the parking lot. The mornings when we came in and evenings when we were about to leave were the only face time we had with each other on most days so we tended to chat the whole time, even though we spoke over radio for most of the day as well.
“Hah, I can’t afford to fix my damn truck door how can I afford a girlfriend"
As if to prove my point the door, which had been bent inward when some jackass sideswiped me years before, stuck, again.
Chris shook his head, “You still haven’t got that thing fixed? How much can it cost?”
I spoke in between grunts as I yanked on the handle, “Well, they say they have to replace the whole…”
I never finished my sentence.
The door had opened and smacked me in the face, there was a sharp flash of pain that passed immediately, but it seemed to take all sound with it. Not only had Chris stopped talking but even the sounds from the road had stopped. I looked around and tried to speak but no sound came out and the color had all drained from the world leaving everything in greyscale. Chris stood motionless to the side, I would think it was some joke but he wasn't blinking or even breathing. Everything had frozen. Suddenly I heard a rustling behind me and spun.
Standing behind me was a man in a business suit flipping through papers on a clipboard. He looked just like a regular business man. Nothing seemed noteworthy about the man except that he was moving and was in color. Not much color I'll grant you, his suit was black and white and his face was pale beyond what seemed healthy, the only true color was on his tie which featured a Hawaiian print.
The man was mumbling to himself but in the silence it carried and I heard him clearly, “No there shouldn't be anyone in this area for another two days. Clearly that’s not right, don’t tell me they mixed up the paperwork again.”
The speed which he flipped through the papers on his clipboard increased and increased until his hand was blur and the papers seemed ready to fly free. Suddenly his gaze snapped to me and his flipping stopped.
“Who are you?” he asked in a different voice, the tone now much deeper and seeming to carry the weight of the world behind it.
A terrible dread filled me suddenly and I tried to run but my feet wouldn't move. Then without my willing it and despite my previous inability to make a sound, I spoke.
“I am Robert Alugard"
“Robert Alugard… alright wait a moment"
Suddenly he held a massive book, the thing was larger than I was and shouldn’t have fit in between the vehicles in the parking lot. The impossible dimensions of the book didn't slow the man down, and the book was either nearly weightless or he was unreasonably strong as he easily held it in one hand while flipping through it with the other.
“A… L… U… G… no, no Robert” His gaze pierced me again, “You didn't lie did you? When were you born?”
Again the answer came on its own, “I didn't lie, I was born January 1, 2000”
This odd situation was making me panic but for some reason the feeling was becoming more and more muted by the second. Soon I was finding it hard to call up any emotions, even fear, and it only became more difficult as time went on. Then it was hard to remember what fear felt like. That thought should have been frightening in itself but… nothing.
“AH shit" The man burst out slamming the book closed, “one of those… and"
He looked around for a moment before throwing up his hands, somehow the massive book was launched into the air and vanished.
“Well this is a problem isn't it? You’ve broken something like a dozen rules already, how am I supposed to sort this out?” He shouted
Whatever compulsion to answer that I was under seemed to be in effect still and so I did, “I do not have sufficient information on the problem to decide upon a satisfactory solution”
That seemed to startle the man and he looked at me a bit closer for a moment before chuckling and shrugging.
“Fuck it, let's see what you can come up with. I'm the Grim Reaper. You died just now... smacked yourself right in the nose with the truck door there, drove cartilage into your brain and died instantly. Shit happens people die all the time. Now normally I would send you off to be judged and then your afterlife would be decided upon, except I can't do that since it would break a couple rules.
First, You shouldn't exist, Y2k… you know what that is? The day that clocks rolled over to the year 2000, the computers that held all the data on everyone alive reset. It wasn't a big deal nothing crashed or anything but the reset took a full minute, anyone born for that minute wasn't put on the records and therefore should not exist. That little hiccup is why we are back to using the Book of Everyone that you just saw. Unfortunately you not actually existing means I can't send you to be judged, we don't have records on you.
Second, the isekai rule. This is a fairly new one and we should definitely remove it but… rules are rules. Anyone who dies by being hit by a truck is sent to another world in another dimension. No exceptions. You my friend, just hit yourself with a truck door and died…”
The Reaper shook his head before continuing, “Yep, no exceptions… Normally I would pretend to be a god or goddess and give you some special power that makes you far too powerful for the new world and send you off to cause some terrible chaos before sending another unwitting soul after you with the mission to stop the new evil overlord Robert. Can't do that since you don't exist.
As a fun side note since you are also the truck driver who killed the innocent soul early, you lose any special power or benefit you would get upon your death. That includes the overpowered ability that I can't give you anyway since YOU DON'T EXIST. So… what is your solution Rob?”
I mindlessly asked a few follow up questions, “Can I be added to the list of people?”
“Nope, If your death was unjust I could have returned you to life in a new body with no memories, but you did it to yourself. You aren't allowed to live again. Except you HAVE to be allowed to live again, I have to send you to another world after all.”
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“Can't I just be judged like anyone else who died?”
“Nope, You don't exist, so you can’t die.”
“Then you have to send me to another world, I won't get any special power, and I am not allowed to be dead or alive since I never existed…”
The Reaper looked satisfied with my summary, “Yep that’s about the size of it, so what solution does the human mind come up with?”
“Undead" I said in a monotone, totally void of emotion
“Excuse me?”
“Send me to another world, one which includes monsters, and make me an undead. I wont get any special power and I wont be alive or dead.”
There was a long pause during which the Reaper blinked at me several times. Then he pulled his massive book from thin air again and flipped back and forth several times before bursting into laughter.
“Alright, Rob, I will send you to a world called Taream. The world is governed by the standard Isekai tropes of a system with stats, dungeons, monsters, magic, etcetera. You will be a level three zombie…”
The Reaper seemed to be waiting for something that didn’t come.
“A zombie… you will be Rob the zombie… ah hell, Gen Z doesn’t know anything about music. Whatever, good luck Rob, enjoy your new life.. er… unlife"
He waved a hand and the world twisted away.
When I came to I was lying in a forest. The emotions that had been fading to nothing had returned somewhat. They were still muted but I definitely felt several emotions all at once, fear at the unknown situation, anger at the nonsensical treatment by the Reaper person, despair at suddenly losing everything, and… yes that was excitement, excitement at being in a new fantasy world.
I pushed myself into a seated position, a groan of pain escaping my mouth. My emotions may be muted but I felt pain and soreness just fine. A quick look around revealed that I was indeed in a forest. Trees and brush and animal calls surrounded me in every direction. Nothing looked especially magical or fantastical as one would expect from a fantasy world. This could have been a forest in any temperate part of Earth.
I remembered that I was supposed to have some sort of system with stats and I was even meant to be level 3. There would surely be some way to view that informati…
Name: Rob
Classification: Unaffiliated Monster
Race: Elf Zombie
Level: 3
Well that was quite easy. The words appeared in my vision before I even finished thinking that I wanted to see them. There wasn't much there though. Unaffiliated Monster… that made some sense, but also implied that there were some sort of affiliations that monsters might have. Then there was the race, Elf Zombie. Elf? That was odd, I touched my ears and they did indeed have the stereotypical long pointy ends, why was I an Elf Zombie and not a Human one? I lifted my hand to look, and yes my fingers were skin and bone and white as a sheet as one would expect from a zombie. I couldn’t tell what my face looked like but examining my limbs revealed that I was a gaunt bony decaying corpse. I seemed to be wearing some sort of rags that definitely wouldn’t count as clothes but at least I had a something on.
Again my emotions being dulled seemed to be helping with the overwhelming nature of my current situation. I wasn't sure if it was a good thing or not but for now I was grateful that I wasn't a blubbering mess even after dying, meeting the damn Grim Reaper, being sent to another world, and then undying all over the course of a few minutes.
My thoughts were cut short when movement in the brush nearby drew my attention. Something was here. I struggled to my feet, it seemed like my body wasn't just decaying for show but my limbs didn't want to function properly either. By the time I managed to right myself and take up something like a fighting stance the terrible beast had emerged. Before me stood a… squirrel. Well it could have been a wild rampaging dragon so I felt justified in my caution.
The small furry creature didn't seem to notice or care about me in the slightest as it continued on its way doing whatever squirrels did. As it passed I watched it warily. This was supposedly a fantasy world with magic and monsters, who knew what it might end up doing.
Name: Squirrely McSquirrel
Classification: Unknown Critter
Race: Squirrel
Level: 0
Huh, seems like I was able to examine other creatures and see an information page similar to my own, that would probably end up being handy. What was with that name though, did squirrel parents name their offspring? If they did then this particular squirrel should look into getting new parents, the naming sense was… not good.
The tiny critter ran off and left me to myself. Welp, this was a new world and some sort of fantasy adventure surely waited just over the next hill, so off I went. It would have been nice to find myself in a town, or grassland, or anything with easier travel than a damn forest. It was clear this forest had little wildlife and even less people visiting, I couldn’t find a game trail to save my life and so had to struggle through overgrowth to make any progress. I couldn't really feel temperature with this dead body but if I could I would definitely be sweating buckets while trying to blaze a trail through the brush, some fantasy adventure this was.
I had been at it a while but I couldn't tell time by the sun without being able to see the sun, there were too many trees and I could only glimpse the sky between the leaves. Thinking about it, trying to tell time by the sun was assuming the sun rose and set on this world like it did on Earth. Still it must have been several hours before I finally found myself in a small clearing. The term ‘clearing' was deceptive though as it was really just a space of a dozen feet or so without any trees, the treetops still blocked out the sky all the way through.
I had passed a few places with similar spacing between trees but until this one they had all been overgrown with brush to the point that I wasn't able to enter without some sort of tool to cut away at the plants. This clearing though did not have the same growth, not anymore at least. It was clear that this area had just as much life in it at one point but something had killed all of the plants. All the vines and brush, and even part of one tree had turned black. With the exception of the half dead tree all the plants had withered and fallen, leaving a true empty space between the trees in an almost perfect circle.
As I stood at the edge of the dead clearing, a strange feeling rose up within. My emotions had been muted ever since dying but now I felt one even more strongly than I had even in life, desire. Whatever was at the center of this circle I wanted it, NEEDED it. Without having been addicted to anything in life except maybe soda, it was hard to say for sure, but this felt like I had been addicted to something for a long time but kept clean, only to now be seeing it right in front of me, calling.
Without fully realizing what I was doing I walked forward into the dead circle. As I drew closer to the center the feeling grew, it was all that I could think of and my hands were shaking.
“What the hell is this?” I tried to ask but it came out as a groan.
I tried to summon up some trepidation but now my dead emotions were working against me and I couldn't care that I was probably near something dangerous. Was I about to re-die so soon after being dropped into this new world? I really wanted to adventure and fight monsters or something, not die to some weird irradiated meteorite or something. Still my body moved on its own and I dug an object out from a pile of dead plants.
It was… a crown? Certainly no ordinary crown since it was at the center of a ring of death, but it did look like a crown one would see on the head of some royalty or something. I reached down and touched it.
“HEY" A vaguely feminine voice called out
My hand jerked back as if burned, I looked around but couldn't find the source of the voice. My worries had finally overcome my unnatural desire for this thing and I began to reconsider. Just then I heard movement from behind. Thinking it was the poorly named squirrel returned for vengeance I turned to look. As my gaze left the odd crown the strange unnatural desire I felt dropped right off a cliff and I only wanted to leave. The source of the sound made itself clear as I finished my turn, an honest to goodness goblin jumped out of a tree and into the clearing.
The goblin look to be straight out of a fantasy novel or video game, it was a three foot tall light green humanoid with a long pointed nose. It seemed the goblin had seen the crown as well and its eyes locked onto it. I was fine with the weird little monster taking the crown and I didn’t want to tangle with the nasty looking spear it held so I tried to backpedal away, but I bumped the crown with my foot as I passed. The moment I touched it I heard the voice again.
“Wait! Don’t leave me for that little…”
The voice again cut away, This time I noticed it cut out the moment my foot lost contact. The goblin hadn't noticed any of this and may not have actually been aware of my presence at all. I supposed I probably looked just like this a moment ago, totally fixated and oblivious to the world around me. This was clearly some sort of powerful item that drew monsters , maybe giving it to this goblin wasn't the best after all. I shifted just a bit to touch the crown once more and hold the connection so I could hear the voice.
“Oh thank gods, you do understand me. Quick put me on before that sentient booger gets his mitts on me!”
I tried to ask what was going on but finally realized that I was actually not capable of making sounds aside from groans and moans. The crown seemed to understand my intent well enough though and answered my question anyway.
“Look there's no time, either fight that thing and kill it and all the other monsters that show up until another one capable of thought shows up, or put me on yourself.”
During the one sided conversation the goblin had drawn closer, finally noticing me just before entering arms reach. Realizing there was some competition for the prize the goblin lifted his spear and started growling at me. Well here was the adventure I wanted, I wasn’t going to be able to fight something with a weapon like that, I still had a hard time moving properly and had no weapons of my own. Either I put this weird crown on, or I tried shambling away to… do what?
It wasn't like I had a lot of options and I probably wouldn't find many fights easier than a goblin, goblins were one of the weakest monsters in any game. Maybe that was the case here maybe not, but if I ran from a goblin now chances were good I would only find worse things. No, I needed to get stronger and level so I could have a proper fantasy adventure. This crown was clearly some special sentient magic item, it should offer some sort of boost or something right?
I put the crown on, and the goblin screamed in rage and charged for a moment before freezing mid stride. Time freezing seemed to be a theme recently.
“Great, I’m glad you decided not to be a mindless type of zombie, I’m sure we will be number one in no time.”
Dungeon crown equipped
Would you like to form a dungeon here?
“You’re gonna want to agree, if you choose to wait then short dumb and ugly over there will get his chance to take me back”
With a mental shrug I thought Yes
Congratulations Rob
You have successfully formed a dungeon
Dungeon name: Dungeon #32476
Dungeon type: Undead
Dungeon level: 1
Dungeon tier: cave
Dungeon danger rank: 32476
Dungeon popularity rank: n/a
No rooms detected
Please design boss chamber…