2
First invasion
Error: Cannot enter dungeon construction interface during dungeon invasion
Error: Dungeon has no boss chamber
Resolving…
Error: no rooms to be designated as boss chamber
Resolving…
Resolving…
Suddenly the world went dark.
Resolution found: Basic room generated and designated as boss chamber, 10 silver has been removed from dungeon resources as compensation
Resuming invasion in:
3…
2…
1…
The darkness persisted but now I could hear the goblin’s scream. The goblin quickly faltered though probably as confused as I was at the sudden absence of light.
The voice of the crown spoke again, “Quick, goblins can’t see in the dark. Kill it!”
I can't see in the dark either!
I had learned from my previous attempts at speech and the crown seemed to be able to understand my thoughts before, so rather than repeating my groans and moans I THOUGHT at the crown. My hunch was proven correct when the voice responded.
“That… is less than optimal. You can hear it grunting and stumbling around though right? Use your zombieness to get it!”
I was quickly losing any confidence in my new hat.
My zombieness? What is going on? Why is it dark now?
“AGHH just kill the goblin, we don't have time for this right now!” The exasperation in the voice made it clear the lack of confidence was mutual.
I wanted to continue the argument but the goblin had stumbled into me. The sudden zombie hug startled the monster into dropping the spear to the floor with a clatter. That was odd, the ground was dirt and dead plants before the light disappeared, there shouldn't be any clattering. I couldn't consider the oddity long because a goblin fist smashed me in the side of the head.
That wasn't very nice, I was reminded that I could very definitely feel pain as my ears rang from the blow. I tried shoving the goblin away and stepped on the spear which shifted under my weight. We both wound up in a heap on the floor. Like most adult men, I had watched at least some professional sport fighting in my life before. The scuffle on the floor was nothing like that.
This goblin must have been a veteran of many fights and knew exactly what it was doing as it tried gouging my eyes and biting my throat like some kind of animal. It finally clicked with me that this was a fight to the death. My opponent wouldn't be stopping at winning the fight, given half a chance this little green monster would kill me without even one thought never mind a second thought.
With the seriousness of the situation finally properly impressed on me I fought back. Like an animal I thrashed and scratched and bit. It was perfectly dark but even if I could see I don't think I would be able to tell what was happening in the tangle. At one point I caught what must have been an elbow to the throat. The force of the blow drove my head into the ground where I was again reminded that for some reason it was no longer soft dead plants and dirt but some sort of stone.
White sparks swam through my vision and it took a moment to realize I was literally seeing stars, I didn't even know that was a real thing. Then I realized the goblin was no longer on top of me. Once I refocused, which took more effort with the throbbing in my head than it should have, I could hear the goblin. It had disengaged and retreated a ways off. It was doing something, shuffling around and groaning in pain but I couldn't tell what.
Then I heard a crack and a sudden light split the darkness before fading almost as quickly as it had appeared. The crack was repeated a few times before the light grew and I could see what the goblin was doing. The goblin had lit a torch, I couldn't tell where the thing had come from. Worse, I couldn't look directly at the light, the darkness had made my eyes adjust and the flickering torch hurt my already throbbing head.
Fortunately the goblin didn't seem interested in pressing the advantage, instead examining its leg and moaning in pain. Until now I hadn't understood the screams and grunts the goblin had been making but this moan seemed to convey the feeling of despair. My vision adjusted to the light and I was now able to see the stone room we had been fighting in.
There wasn't much to see, the room was a cube of about ten feet to a side, the walls, floor, and ceiling were all the same dark stone block. The only interesting features were the seams on one wall that suggested some sort of door, a weird chest, and the blood. So much blood. I was covered in the stuff and was lying in a puddle.
I tried to scramble to my feet but like the first time out in the forest it took time and effort to convince my body to work the way I wanted. I hurt all over and had more than a few scrapes and cuts but none of them bled, nor did any of my wounds seem sufficient to explain the pool of blood. Finally I got a good look at the goblin.
Name: Geoff Livingston
Classification: Unknown Monster
Race: Goblin ERROR
Level: 2
I brushed off the information for the moment, instead looking at the goblin in front of me. Geoff the goblin had pulled back from the fight and scrambled back to one wall where he dumped a pack that I had not noticed him carrying before on the ground. That was apparently where the torch had come from which he had lit to examine his leg. Geoff had slumped against the door and clamped his eyes closed, face screwed up in pain and despair. A huge chunk of flesh had torn away from one thigh and more blood than what should have been able to fit in that small of a body was still pouring from the wound.
I didn't remember doing it but I must have bit Geoff's leg. The goblin was about to bleed to death, even if I wanted to there would be no way to stop that bleeding.
“That was sloppy, but at least you won"
The voice startled me before I remembered the crown was still there. That too was odd, there was no way the crown would have stayed on my head during that thrashing fight but here it was still securely stuck to my head.
Lay off, Geoff is dying, sure he was my enemy but have some respect.
“Respect? It’s a monster, a dumb monster"
I’m a monster now, and you’re just a dumb hat, just be quiet for a minute
Somehow I could feel that if the crown had eyes it would be rolling them, but it.. she? kept quiet.
Slowly the pain faded from Geoff's face and the flow of blood slowed. Finally it stopped altogether and a sigh escaped his mouth.
Invasion defeated
Calculating results…
Invaders slain: 1
Invaders retreated: 0
Damage taken: 37
Damage dealt: 50
Minions slain: 0
Loot lost: none
Loot gained: depleted survival pack, low quality torch, flint and steel, empty water skin, damaged survival knife, low quality hunting spear, goblin corpse
Invasion duration: 5:12
Invasion reward: 4 tin
Loot value: 11 tin
Convert loot to mana coins?
It took me a moment to understand what I was seeing. Apparently I was being scored on how well I fought off Geoff. Now it wanted to know if I wanted to… what? Sell the loot? I had no idea what the currency meant but hadn't the room I was now inside cost something to make? Thinking back there was definitely some talk of compensation, and money was always a good thing so I tried confirming.
Unauthorized tale usage: if you spot this story on Amazon, report the violation.
Yes?
Converting loot to mana coins…
I watched in fascination as the empty pack dissolved into nothing, then the torch follow suit. Perhaps the list was being sold or converted or whatever in the order it was listed. I wasn't able to tell though because as soon as the torch dissolved the room was plunged into darkness again. I was left in the dark and silence. Whatever was happening to the items was totally silent.
Except… there was a sound. It started slowly at first, just barely on the edge of my hearing so that I wasn't sure I was really hearing anything. A shifting in the air, then a scraping shuffling sound. I couldn't place the sound but it was familiar. Then silence again.
Error: loot marked for conversion no longer available
Total reward for invasion: 13 tin
Error: Dungeon cannot reopen during invasion
Dungeon Invaders detected
Invaders: 1
Dungeon construction interface locked during invasion
Dungeon entry and exit locked during invasion
Something was not right.
The crown spoke, “Hey so I know I’m supposed to be all respectful or whatever but… what the hell is happening?”
Well… I was hoping you knew… The messages said…
The crown interrupted, “I know what they say, I AM the dungeon… sort of… anyway, the door never opened how do we have another invader?”
I had a feeling I knew the answer, but didn't respond, instead I tried calling out, forgetting that I couldn't speak.
“Hey are you out there? You alive?” is what I tried to say though it sounded more like, “uuuuughnh yaaaaahfffmh"
“mmmmmfhfh ruuuuughhn" Came back from the darkness
Somehow I knew that meant, “Oh hello, why yes I am here, and am indeed alive. Thank you for your concern. What do you make of this situation?”
Or something like that.
“I think you were infected with… whatever makes zombies from people when they die. Now you are alive again, sort of. The dungeon system thing sees you as an invader and kept the door locked until one of us dies I guess.” I groaned back
“That is rather unfortunate, but at least we are now able to communicate. You seem like a learned individual, and my own death does seem to have improved my own intellect substantially as well. Perhaps we could work toward a mutually beneficial solution together.” Geoff moaned in response
“Hey, don't ignore me like I’m not here.” The crown butted in
“Hmmm, is that the dungeon crown? It seems like you have been stuck with a dungeon with quite the abrasive personality"
“Shut up you, at least I’m not dead!” The crown snapped at Geoff
That seemed strange, so I asked, “You're a hat, you’re not alive right?... Wait more importantly you understand him?”
“Of course I do, I’m a dungeon crown, I understand all monsters.”
“so… why didn’t you try talking to Geoff earlier?” I asked
“He's just a dumb goblin, they only understand violence"
Geoff grunted, “Harsh, but not entirely incorrect. My people are a warlike race for sure, and before my death I only wanted to kill you and take the crown for myself.”
I shook my head even though no one could see anything, “Well the more pressing issue is, now what? The door is locked until one of us dies right? Or well, dies again at least. If you’re not trying to kill me then I don't see a reason for us to fight, but how can we convince the dungeon you’re not invading?”
I could feel the crown radiating dissatisfaction before it answered, “You can agree to a minion contract"
“A what?”
“A minion contract!” The crown answered impatiently, “If the goblin agrees to become a minion of the dungeon they will be recognized as belonging and the invasion will have no more invaders.”
“How does it work? What do I do?” asked Geoff hopefully
“You kneel and offer your service, then… I still don’t have either of your names… anyway then this one accepts. You’ll be evaluated by the dungeon and given a pay rate. Then you’ll be a minion of this dungeon, protected from death and bound to defend it until released.”
“There is a lot I don't understand about this dungeon system thing. You need to explain it better… and I'm Rob”
“Geoff" The goblin zombie added his own name
“Great, I am Lilith, thanks for asking. And…” the next part took a moment to come and it felt like the crown, Lilith, really didn't want to say it, “I don't remember everything. When a dungeon crown takes a new dungeon master they lose most of their memory of how dungeons work…”
“But you know about the minion thing" I pointed out
“I only know about the functions that have been unlocked, how to unlock the next tier, the tier names and the general function of the dungeons.”
“well… explain what you do know then"
Lilith sighed, which was odd given the lack of lungs and telepathic nature of the voice, “Fine, you can see the unlocks yourself in the stats window when you enter the dungeon construction interface so figure that out yourself. You are at Cave tier, the lowest tier. The next tier unlocks when you defeat five invasions, recruit at least one minion over level zero, and build the maximum number of rooms.”
Lilith took a deep breath in her nonexistent lungs before launching into the next info dump, “Now, the Tiers are as follows, Cave, Nest, Den, Lair, Base, Village, Town, City, Kingdom, Empire, and the eleventh, Master Dungeon. The Tiers each unlock new options and functions. I only know what this tier unlocks, you get to figure that out yourself, and what the eleventh tier unlocks.
There is only ever one eleventh tier dungeon at a time. The eleventh tier dungeon rules over all the other dungeons and has some small amount of influence over the dungeon system itself. Once a new dungeon reaches eleventh tier the previous Master Dungeon will ascend and the gods give them their own world to rule over as a new god. Eleventh and then twelfth tiers are the goal of… most dungeons.”
The room was silent for a time, none of the occupants needing to breathe but definitely needing a few minutes to process.
Finally, I asked a question, “You said most dungeons, they don’t all want to become gods?”
“No… I don’t remember why… my memories have been removed remember… anyway that doesn’t matter, it will take a long time before you are at the level where any of that affects you.”
“What if… I don’t want this? What if I just want to adventure and don't want to run a dungeon or whatever.”
I did find the dungeon thing interesting and might decide to run one, but I certainly didn't want to be forced into it.
Lilith sounded smug when she answered, “Too late you put the crown on, your life is now tied to the dungeon. I can't be removed unless you are dead, and if I am removed respawning is turned off so you will stay dead along with all the minions who happen to be dead at the time.”
That grabbed my attention, “Repawning? Stay dead? Are you saying that I can't die?”
“No, use your head, if you die you respawn, all dungeon monsters respawn some time after death. BUT, if you lose the crown while dead you stay dead. I am a powerful magical artifact. Monsters are compelled to take me and adventurers want to collect as much loot as possible. There is no way they will leave the crown after defeating the dungeon. You die and you surely will stay that way.”
Geoff cut in, “That reminds me, I very much wanted the crown. My own memories are foggy but they are slowly coming back. I needed to find somewhere safe for my tribe, we had been driven off from our village and needed to find a new place to settle. A dungeon would have been perfect but they are rare and most are too strong for goblins, even several of us, to defeat. Finding an unclaimed crown was the ideal scenario but those just don't exist.”
Geoff paused for a moment before continuing, “If I could ask a favor… I will join as a minion but… could you also take on the rest of my tribe?”
Lilith scoffed, “Hell no, I refuse to become a goblin dungeon. Goblins are filthy, smelly, disgusting, stupid creatures. I refuse. You are one thing being a zombie goblin but I will not allow a whole tribe of the things.”
“Do you get a say?” I asked genuinely curious if she was able to refuse decisions I made about the dungeon.
Lilith hesitated before answering, “Of course I do, I AM the dungeon you might be the boss but you can’t let a bunch of disgusting goblins inside me without my approval.”
I wasn't convinced, but she did have a point. I wanted to help the goblin tribe but if the dungeon was basically Lilith's body she should have a say as to what happened to it. Her personality was… unlikable, but I could understand. She had little to no control over anything that happened to her and was completely at the mercy of whoever had put on the crown.
“I won't force you” I finally spoke up, “But the goblins need a home, can we temporarily add them as minions?”
“No,” Lilith seemed less indignant now that I was clearly taking her opinion into account. Seems like I made the right call.
She continued, “No, the minion contract is semi-permanent. The only ways a minion can leave is by buying out the contract, which is prohibitively expensive, being released which damages the soul, that would be fatal to monsters of low level, or by being alive when the dungeon is destroyed.”
“Can't we waive the fee for buying out a contract? We are the contract holders after all.” I asked
“We aren't the contract holders, the dungeon system is the contract holder. The minion and the dungeon itself are just the contractors, the fee is taken by the system like when you build dungeon rooms.”
The room went silent again while we all thought. Several minutes later Geoff broke the silence, apparently having put his own mind to the task as well after having listened to the problem.
“You are fine with me being a minion even though I’m a goblin?”
“You aren't really a goblin anymore, you’re a zombie. Goblins are foul creatures, zombies are much cleaner. Sure they are dead but they don’t rot, racial magic stops decomposition.”
I held back a grunt, someone should tell that to my dysfunctional limbs, maybe they didn't decompose but this body must have been made halfway decomposed.
Lilith continued unaware of my indignation, “So zombies don’t smell, they don’t defecate, they don’t need to eat but usually they eat the entire corpse of whatever they kill. That doesn’t exactly matter much though as the dungeon system converts bodies to mana coins. Anyway, zombies are cleaner than goblins.”
Geoff nodded at the explanation, “Then… what if we turn my whole tribe to zombies? Can they join then?”
That stunned Lilith into silence, I too was shocked by that conclusion. Geoff wanted to kill and zombify his entire goblin tribe.
“What the hell happened to your tribe that you are ok with killing them all? I asked
Geoff shook his head sadly, “We wont survive either way. Trolls raided our village and killed almost everyone. They ate the children right in front of us as we were helpless to fight back. They knew what they were doing. They laughed as we screamed and begged. Something is not right with those trolls.
Trolls are nasty mean creatures, but that was worse. Something must have twisted them to make them that cruel and savage. Only a few of us made our escape. There aren’t enough of us and we don’t have a home anymore. If we can make them into dungeon minions then we can have a home again, and we will be safe. Even if we die defending this place, as long as you survive then we will come back.
It's the best option”
I could only just barely see shapes even after all this time adjusting to the darkness but even still I could tell Geoff had fixed a look of determination on his face. This goblin was every bit a thinking feeling person as I was and he had decided to do whatever it took to save what was left of his family, even if that meant killing them with his own hands. I wasn’t sure I could make a decision like that in his situation.
I added my own plea to Geoff's, “Lilith, I won't make you accept, but… please let them join as minions.”
Lilith didn't take long to respond, “Fine fine. I’m not heartless… no, I am, but that’s beside the point. Turn them to zombies like Geoff here and they can join.”
Geoff radiated happiness as he took a knee and declared, “I swear to serve the dungeon boss Rob and the dungeon Lilith as a minion. I will defend the dungeon to the best of my ability and spare no effort in raising the dungeon to the eleventh tier"
The words sounded formal somehow, like they hadn't come from Geoff but were some sort of standard oath. That thought proved true when the proper response came to me.
“I accept your oath, Geoff, Goblin zombie. In turn I swear to protect you and not restrict your own growth. I swear to carry you with me to the peak and beyond. Rise as a minion of Dungeon number thirty two thousand four hundred seventy six.”