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Maker of Fire
2.58 Feeling Less Than

2.58 Feeling Less Than

Usruldes, Sils'chk, Planting Season, 5th rotation, evening of the 4th day

Tom and I decided to talk outside at the cooking fire site. I threw another bagasse block on the fire to build it up. Pressed bagasse, the leftover material from making sugar, was the everyday fuel the Chem preferred in their tree-poor swampland.

"Emily has told me a lot about life on Earth," I threw another bagasse block on the fire. "What was she like back on Earth?"

"Don't you already know? I know the two of you are friends and have talked a lot together," Tom asked in a voice verging on hurt.

"She has told me enough that I know your culture was very different in some respects."

"Like how?"

"Hmm," I pondered what would be a good example. "For example, Emily, and I think you, too, view war on an ethical basis that I have a hard time grasping. Most Cosm see war as a form of economic competition, as a means of addressing the scarcity of goods and ensuring survival. I find this war to free the Chem rather novel, in comparison. Though I could frame this upcoming conflict as the rescue of stolen Chem labor, I can't deny there is a moral dimension here that is lacking in most wars on Erdos."

"How can war not have a moral dimension," Tom asked me, looking confused. "Does not an oppressed population have the moral high ground to rebel and gain their freedom? Is it wrong to oppose tyrants? Is it right to allow someone to steal your labor and your freedom and not resist?"

"You sound like Emily," I had to smile. He did sound just like Emily with her strange doctrine of a just war, so I provided an example. "Three years ago, Foskos invaded the unaffiliated territory along the Naver and Yuxviayeth Rivers simply because we needed more land to grow crops. We're out of land suitable for small grains on the west side of the Blue Mountains, which is a good example that war is economic."

"I'm not sure I like using war to steal someone else's land," Tom replied, frowning.

"And we gave the farms back to the farmers when we took over, the ones we could locate," I cheerfully pointed out. "We did not steal. It was a change of government and a redirection of Yuxviayeth's trade to Foskos instead of Yutu and Impotu." I didn't add the complicating factor that Yuxviayeth was the first place where we gave the land back to the original owners if we could find them.

"What about the Impotu invasion last year?" Tom asked. "That didn't look like it was about economic matters."

"Oh, yes, it was," I smiled in a friendly way and rearranged the burning chunks of pressed bagasse in the fire. "That was a war driven by economic scarcity. The Impotuans lost their great gems that could make charm gems of control and disease resistance. The shrine housing those great crystals burnt down, which was a tragedy. It was a beautiful shrine, all of wood, built without a single metal fastener. But I digress. The Impotuans lost their means to make control gems, leaving them dependent on the black market for gems made in Mattamesscontess. Their invasion was to seize the great crystals from our shrines because they lost some of theirs. It was a war driven by scarcity. The Impotuans did not cross the line into immoral behavior because they invaded Foskos. They crossed that line because they attacked our shrines directly and committed atrocities against the Sea Coyn at Uldlip."

"But aren't the Conventions of Surd a statement about just behavior in a war?" Tom asked, looking like he was on top of the argument.

"Attacking a shrine is sacrilege," I explained. "Attacking and mutilating the Sea Coyn was a destruction of assets not for revenge or to control trade. In other words, attacking the non-combattant Sea Coyn served no purpose, which is why it was a wrong act."

"What if they had enslaved the Sea Coyn instead?" Tom asked with a bitter edge to his voice.

"The Conventions of Surd are silent about enslavement," I admitted.

I will not repeat Tom's response to that information.

"The Conventions of Surd prohibit sacrilegious and senseless acts during wars and raids, Tom. The justice or injustice of war or commerce raiding is not covered by them."

"But...but...," he shook his head. "Damn, that's just screwed up. You could ask any of the victims of a commerce raid whether it was just. I'm sure their answer would be as bright as sunlight."

"It's really as bright as mud, Tom," I explained. He really did think as strangely as Emily. "Just like roc eagles and griffins, humans are tribal and territorial. Our tribal groupings all compete for limited assets. It is our nature to do so. War is just one form of that competition. Is it unjust to act in a manner that is contrary to our nature?"

"It may be the nature of animals to compete for territory and the assets therein," Tom said with a weighty, judgemental tone and eyes as hard as adamant, "but we are beings created by the gods and given sapiance by them, to be ruled by the revelations the gods pass down to us. What I see around me right now is the movement of the gods to use war to remove the injustice of enslavement, which means war does have a moral dimension far beyond outright theft and revenge.

"I believe in the rule of law which all creatures given intelligence by the gods should follow," Tom said in a way that felt like it could have been a revelation. "We are better than mere animals, for we have voluntarily given ourselves to live under laws, which must apply to all peoples, groups, businesses, holding, tribes, local governments, and nations. Theft between individuals is a crime, so why is theft between nations not considered the same? Here's another: when laws exist to effectively punish wrongdoers, violent acts of revenge between individuals are crimes, so why are acts of revenge between nations not considered the same? The true enemies of peace are greed and scarcity, and the rule of law can mitigate the harm done by them. By this standard, war can be just or unjust and always has a moral dimension."

Tom paused and looked at me with surprise, "That is one amazing fish face, big guy."

"While logically consistent," I admitted, "what you just outlined is so novel to me that I don't know what to say, short stuff. It seems to be a concept contrary to our own nature."

"It is my understanding that we are souls with temporary physical bodies," Tom said, looking off into space. "I think it is possible, from what I've read of the scriptures, that the gods want us to rise above the base nature of our current animal forms and achieve enlightenment worthy of the eternal existence of our souls, to abandon greed, to pursue peace, to abolish poverty, and mitigate scarcity, for everyone everywhere. And the rule of law is the framework and the compact between soul-bearing creatures to do so. I see nothing contrary about seeking to rise above my own nature as a greedy, selfish animal."

"There, Tom! You just made a point for me," I bopped Tom on the nose with my forefinger. "You just demonstrated how differently you think from someone with no memories of life on Earth."

"Oh," he blinked and then laughed. "I guess we got off topic badly, didn't we?"

"For getting off-topic, that was a fascinating digression, Revered One," Kamagishi said, stepping into the light of the fire. "Sorry, I started listening because it was so interesting. Did you study philosophy or the law in your previous life, Revered One? What did you do when you weren't employed as a soldier?"

"I was an artist," Tom replied, surprised by Kamagishi's sudden appearance.

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It was Kamagishi's turn to be surprised, "really?"

"Here, let me show you," Tom pulled out a hand-sewn codex of paper from his carry bag that was about half the size of my hand. He held it out for Kamagishi, and she took it. The look on the high priestess' face as she carefully turned the pages made me want to get up and see for myself.

"Revered One, what did you use to do these drawings?" Kamagishi asked, eyes wide.

"Sticks of charcoal."

"Can you paint?"

"I painted during my life on Earth," Tom replied. "Artists' pigments have been beyond my means during my life on Foskos, assuming I could find any merchants who would sell to a Coyn."

Kamagishi swore and then asked, "Does the Queen know you have this talent?"

"No."

"And Emily?"

"She made me that book so I could sketch. She was upset that I hadn't done any art in this life. She's always been my biggest fan," Tom smiled as if remembering something fondly.

"You need to see this," she passed the little sketchbook to me with it open to a drawing. "We took the most creative race on Erdos, enslaved them, used them for debased manual labor, and deprived them of the tools to create such marvelous works. No wonder the gods are displeased with the Cosm right now."

I looked at the open page with a portrait of my wife that was so realistic I could barely believe a human had drawn it. "Tom, can I buy this off you?"

"No." He shook his head, "it's just a quick practice sketch. I did that one in Is'syal while still getting my hand back into practice. I can do a lot better than that. I won't sell you a substandard drawing."

"Substandard?" I squeaked in amazement.

"Practice sketch?" one of Kamagishi's eyebrows rose so high it threatened to disappear into her hairline.

"I'm particular about my art," he frowned at us. "I need some more practice before I try to sell any."

"And here is the man who thinks he's only worthwhile as a bedwarmer for Emily," Kamagishi rolled her eyes at Tom.

"Where is Emily?" Tom asked without pause.

"Asleep in your hut," Kamagishi sat on the ground next to Tom. "We talked. Then I decided to take her to Pinisla for the hand-in-hand ceremonies."

Tom made a face, half outraged, half inquiring, "Please explain this to me, Holy One."

"Your point regarding morale is a good one," Kamagishi began, "but an absence of six days will not adversely affect the preparation of the Chem navy, especially if everyone knows it's just a temporary leave. Other than her quest for niter-cellus or whatever you call it, she has fulfilled all the tasks she needed to do. Now, she has nothing to keep her busy. Did you forget that an idle and bored Emily is a recipe for disaster? Just ask the man sitting next to you, Revered One, what happens when you leave Emily alone to get into trouble."

"What?" Tom looked at me quizzically.

"You don't need to bring that up, Holy One," I groaned.

"I smell a story," Tom poked me in the side.

"I'll tell you later," I cut him off. "The Holy Kamagishi is correct that an idle Emily is something to avoid."

"Huh," he gave me a dubious look. "I'll take you up on hearing that story later." He looked back to Kamagishi, "That doesn't seem like much of an explanation, Holy One. Is there more?"

"The main reason I will take her to Pinisla is that this is the first time I have ever seen Emily want something solely for herself. For two years, she has put the needs of others and her obligations to the gods before her own desires. Emily never expresses any selfish wants. She has more wealth than half the lord holders of Foskos, and what does she do with it? She plans to build a road for trade over the Great Cracks. She wants to construct a shipping canal to connect the Great Hook with Copper Basin so she can settle emancipated Coyn there. She paid all the costs to develop rubber, the new soap, the walker, the wheelchair, and the slide rule. What has she spent on herself? She hired a craftmaster to make her a divine, and even that benefited others.

"Revered One, Emily is a generous soul who gives more than she takes and carries a burden from the gods that weighs her down like a millstone. I've been with her enough that I often pick up her thoughts. I know she wants this more than she will say, because her affection for the Honored Kayseo is profound. Yes, she could have decided to go without your input, and if I had been her, I would have. But she's Emily, and she thought it best to consult with you because she believes you and she are meant to be a couple. And you, young man, wove her a swatch about duty and obligations when she's someone who is already trapped by inescapable obligations to the gods."

Tom closed his eyes, grimaced, and swore softly.

"Did you really tell her that you were nothing more than a wife and bedwarmer that the gods arranged to keep her happy?" Kamagishi asked gently.

"Yeah, I did," he muttered. "I guess I'm an idiot."

"I wouldn't say that," Kamagishi countered. "I think you're lucky. How many people get a second chance to start a family with the woman they married in a previous life? Besides, Galt blessed you because he knew it would help you get back together with Emily. You were trying to do that even before you ran into him on that snowy night in Aybhas. It was you who wanted to reunite with Emily."

"And it was the gods who reincarnated me in the same place as her, so they must have anticipated this," Tom pointed out.

"The gods may have connived to put the two of you back together, but it's up to you and Emily whether you stay together or break up. No one is forcing you, Tom."

"How can you say that?" he whined painfully. "How can we know what the gods want or intend? Even if I wanted to leave Emily, the gods could force me to stay."

"If you decide you do not want to pursue a relationship with Emily, no one will stop you, not even the gods," Kamagishi said in a voice full of authority. "Galt is the god of destiny, and I am his avatar. I know that this is true. You can leave if you desire, but I'm guessing you won't."

Tom gave her a look of disbelief, "How can you be sure of that?"

"Because you're scared that she'll leave you because you're no longer good enough for her exalted self, and she's scared you'll leave her because her short, flat-chested, plain-faced self isn't good enough anymore for the famous womanizer Py'oask, slayer of Coyn hearts in the southern half of Foskos."

"Blarg," Tom collapsed into himself, head dropping almost to his knees. "I really am an idiot."

"And you're very good at beating yourself up, too," Kamagishi poked him on the back of the head. "I think you've been nursing a bad case of being less-than."

"Say what?"

"You've managed the movement of stores and products for the Queen's brewery for many years now, so that's probably how you think of yourself. If you compare that with Emily as the Prophet, you're never going to measure up. So stop making such a stupid comparison. Your worth is so great that you are one of only two people living who have been blessed by Galt. That's huge. You were also named in the Revelation of Gertzpul to Spot as the person picked by Erhonsay to lead the Chem in their war of emancipation. Now, that is another huge deal, and don't you forget it. Every military leader on Erdos will fear your name for the rest of your life. Last, I think you could become a weathy and famous person in your own right with the artistic skill displayed in your little sketchbook. You could have made your first sale this evening if your vanity over your craft hadn't gotten in the way. I think you have nothing to feel inferior over, Revered One."

"Damn," Tom managed to sink even further.

"How did you and Emily resolve your marital arguments back on Earth?"

"We'd end up sleeping in different rooms," Tom mumbled, "usually with me on the couch, and we'd sleep on it. In the morning, Emily would appear at the breakfast table—"

"Breakfast? What's breakfast? That's another English word, isn't it?" Kamagishi interrupted.

"Breakfast is morning repast," Tom replied, sitting back up. "She'd show up at the table with a list of all the arguments neatly tabulated, with reasons in support or against laid out logically, and then we'd look at it and negotiate a resolution. I would usually lose."

"Well, then," Kamagishi stood up, "I think we all should go back to bed. Tomorrow is going to be a busy day."

We went back into the guest house. Tom disappeared into his room. I walked up to Kamagishi and quietly said, "That was impressive Holy One."

"I think I inherited my skill at counseling from my mother," she remarked. "Galt woke me up because those two are not talking about their fears. It was their fear that drove their argument," Kamagishi replied thoughtfully. "He's the god of fate, after all. He likes to meddle and steer destiny in the direction he wants."

"Sleep well, Holy One," I said.

"You too, Lord Irhessa," she headed toward her room. "Huh. The rule of law...interesting," she said to herself softly.