(Emily, Healing Shrine of Mugash, continued from installment 120)

My mind was spinning. The prophecy was too much to take in all at once and I kept returning to one thing: was Tom alive right now somewhere on Erdos? Galt acted like it was true; however, if he was truly omniscient, then why was he asking me about my relationship with Tom?

I had put it out of my mind during morn repast but talking with Usruldes brought it back to the forefront of my mind. The line about finding my heart's desire could refer to anything, frankly. It was the last lines in the Prophesy of the Great Breaking that raised doubt in me: "Wrath will bless her and love her, Wrath will take her and mark her, Wrath will save her and heal her, Wrath will hide her and steal her, and she will be lost to Time. Mercy will hold her back until she turns her back on Mercy, and Wisdom returns to her the heart she shares with a drum."

To my over-active mind, I could argue that part of the prophecy had already happened. Galt was Wrath. That much was clear. Tiki was Time and Erhonsay was Wisdom. Mugash the Merciful was Mercy. The coding here was rather obvious.

Mercy holding my back and my turning my back on Mercy could be Mugash's meddling in my health to slow my recovery and my turning my back on Mercy could easily be my rejection of the gods at the divine fiasco negotiation session. Being lost to time could be my rejecting Tiki at that event. Galt has already blessed me through the act of giving me a revelation, and he has already marked me by giving me his eyes. I can't fit the last bits of the prophecy with any events so if they are true, then they have yet to happen.

The last line could refer to Erhonsay doing something to bring me and Tom together, but it's subtle and only works if you know that in English, a mid-pitched drum without a snare is called a tom. It could also refer to Galt since another meaning for Tom is a male cat, but that's problematic since the prophecy already refers to Galt as Wrath. On the other hand, the prophesy also uses multiple names and titles for people, so it doesn't rule out Galt. Aylem is called both queen and mage. Asgotl, if it really is Asgotl, is the counselor of prophets and Dag Gadol, whatever that means. I'm obviously the girl with the golden eyes, the prophet, and the maker of fire.

So it's possible that Galt is both wrath and the drum. The thought of sharing a heart with Galt is just too weird and I'm not even going to consider having kittens with him. I refuse to go there. Not doing it. Not possible. Just no. No, no, no. Did I mention no?

Usruldes tapped my knee, "you've been lost in thought for a fair turn. Can we retreat to the study? It will be just you, me, the Queen, and my mother. I suspect you'd love some alone time but that's the last thing I can allow until we locate all of the missing enemy troops. I'd like you to stick with me, Aylem, or my mother, if possible. Aylem will be best. No one in their right mind will attack Aylem.”

“The world is full of insane people, friend,” I couldn’t help pointing this out.

“That's always a very real worry," he nodded. "Fanatics and lunatics are always the hardest things to protect against just because they aren't predictable. I could have nightmares over an insane silverhair on a mount who knows how to attack with magic from the air. Can I give you a hand down? Or should I move out of the way so you can climb down? Do you have your climbing skills back yet?”

“Going up is doable if I don’t go far, but going down isn’t there yet,” I admitted.

“Speaking of climbing, please refrain from using your route through the wall up to the bathing chamber, at least until the current situation resolves?" he pleaded. "You put yourself out of reach of your shadow for 27 counted breaths. We'd have to rip the plaster and laths out to get to you if anything happened."

“If someone is after me, isn’t that a good thing? You’d have to have excellent clairvoyance to find me inside the walls.”

“It cuts both ways, Em. What if you were hurt or became unconscious in a place we couldn’t reach or if one of us had to remove you from this part of the shrine because of a fire or an attack? It also means I would need clairvoyants assigned to shadow you and I don’t have enough to spare right now. I don’t dare lower your security right now. Please, Emily?”

I sighed, “alright. I will refrain for now.”

“One more thing?”

“There’s more?”

“I want to move you to a different bedroom every night until we round up the missing enemy forces,” he apologized.

"Ugh! That's a terrible suggestion," I did not like that at all.

"Your current bedroom isn't secure from attack. All an attacker needs to do is break your window and grab you," he tried to project calm but I could hear the worry in his voice. "One of the best ways to protect a person is to change their predictable patterns, and sleeping in the same place is one of those. What is it that you don't like?"

“Almost everything,” I decided to be completely honest with him, which meant admitting my fears, though I suspected he already knew all my fears. “Waking up in a Cosm-sized bed is uncomfortable. It puts me on edge. I have to depend on a portable stair or step ladder. There may not be an adequately scaled necessary and in the middle of the night, will I be able to find it in a strange room in the dark?”

Then there was the fear I had never mentioned: "The worse part is being alone when waking up in a strange place. If I don't know where I am, will anyone else? In my own bedroom, Lisaykos is next door. If I call for her or make a strange noise, she will be here instantly. She's done it before. When she's gone on business, she assigns someone I know to keep watch from her bedroom with the door between our rooms open. If you put me in a strange room I don't know, with all the furniture the wrong size, it won't feel safe to me without at least knowing someone friendly is nearby. It's probably irrational I can't help feeling this way. My bedroom is one of the only places I ever feel truly safe."

Usruldes’ fish face was epic.

“I’d rather sleep in Aylem’s closet every night than in a different Cosm-sized guest room,” I ventured. “Aylem gives me the willies a lot of the time, but for protection, there is no one safer.”

“What if one of your shadows were visible and sitting next to you all night? Would that work?” he offered. “They already know all your habits and sleep patterns.”

“I don’t know,” I said honestly. “I suppose we could try it and see if it worked.”

“That’s good enough for me for now,” he smiled, looking a little less worried.

“How many shadows do you have assigned to me?" I was curious since I never detected anyone trying to watch me, though I knew they had to be hidden or using a charm of circular light.

“There's 24 in total, all women, all capable of the charm of circular light and either misdirection or shadows. That's about a tenth of all the circular light users in the kingdom," he got to his feet and retrieved his face covering.

“That many? For just me?” It was a surprise.

“Three wraiths are shadowing you at all times," he started to hide his face. "Each watch is four hours and they are staggered so only one person changes watch at a time. That uses 18 wraiths a day. There are 6 additional wraiths because everyone works two watches and gets the third one off. That's so everyone stays sharp doing what is a boring but essential job of the greatest importance."

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“I know you're my friend, Usruldes, but all of this makes me feel like I'm trapped in a convivial cage, but a cage nonetheless, which just gets harder and harder to escape by the day," the knot in my stomach was getting worse.

“It’s only until we eliminate the missing enemy troops,” he pulled the hood back up, returning to his usual wraith suit. “Then life will return to normal. It won’t be more than a half rotation. Aylem will find them if they don’t find us first. Let’s hope it’s the former and not the latter.”

“And what is the normal security following me?" I demanded.

“A detail of five, one watch lasting eight hours on a constant rotation through all five. The seems to be the best schedule for your shadows.”

“How long have I had a shadow?”

“During your mekaner visit to the Builder Shrine in Omexkel and after you and Aylem showed up at the army camp across the river from the Crystal Shrine.”

“Damn.”

“Emily, you’ve been attacked twice,” he sounded distant and cold. “I won’t allow anyone to harm you again under my watch.”

That made me realize that even Usruldes had his own version of over-protective.

- - -

Lisaykos in her study

Emily looked like a little thunderstorm when she and my son reappeared. Not saying anything to anyone, Emily climbed onto the lounge and took her usual spot. She had several wax tablets she stacked next to where she was sitting. She began to scribble, frown and think for the next half bell. I peaked at what she was writing and saw it was more chemical notes.

Aylem was sitting on the lounge against the north wall that was opposite the one Emily was on. She was in a trance, mind casting at someone or using clairvoyance. I had wanted to spend some time with her today to go over the books for the outlying chapel shrines but given what was going on with these rogue Impotuan forces, I knew I needed to wait.

It was a peaceful silence though I could help but worry given how absorbed Aylem was in her trance. After about half a bell, she opened her eyes and let out a long sigh.

“Progress?” Emily asked, looking up from her tablet scribblings.

“Yes, and we received help from an unexpected source. Imstay took his force and decided to fly in a straight line to Yant to save time. It’s nasty flying because the route goes up over the Malachite Range, which is between the north fork of the Rig River and its main channel at the western foot of the mountains. The winds are always bad there. In the winter, it’s so bad that you can’t fly that route.

"When Imstay was level with the copper mines east of Omexkel, his force was met by free eagles. I guess the Impotuans have made the free eagles their enemy because the eagles volunteered intelligence as to Impotuan troop movements. A troop of around two hundred flying mounts left their fort on the Third River two nights ago, when we started our raids. They met up with the survivors from the Weirgos raid over eagle territory where the north fork of the Rig makes a right turn to the east. They don't have the same respect for eagle territory that Foskos has.

“According to the eagles, the combined force has been flying close to the ground along the rivers and in the trees as much as possible. Right now, they are close to the eastern edge of the Surdos River Valley. I’ve been mindcasting between the different groups of our forces to coordinate a pincer over the Surdos River. I must apologize for doubting you, Emily. You were right about the Impotuans going north to Yant.”

“Aylem, what about the force that was in Esso?” Emily asked, taking the words out of my mouth.

“I can’t find them. I may need to go back to the Crystal Shrine to do some deeper searching,” the Queen scowled. “How is it possible to hide that many flying troops?”

“How about by not flying?” Emily posed. "What if they are hiding in one of the numerous lava tubes on the edge of the lava plains? Do you have a map of those? That's where I would hide a hundred flying fighters. That face you're making is not at all reassuring, Aylem."

"Gods, I never even thought of lava tubes. They have no use so no one bothers with them. Foskans avoid the Great Cracks and don't like crossing them." Aylem was correct about that. The Great Cracks were considered bad luck by most people.

“Yes, I noticed,” Emily stared at her feet in their stockings. “I grew up in Idaho exploring lava tubes and volcanic fissures with my brothers. Idaho had a lot of them. They were a lot of fun to explore. You had to keep an eye out for rattlesnakes...”

“Rattlesnakes?” the Queen looked alarmed. “Real rattlesnakes?” I didn't know what a rattlesnake was. It had to be some kind of snake from that other world those two had lived on.

“Well, they were easy to avoid,” Emily looked at the Queen with an inquiring frown, “and they can’t bite through boots or snake gaiters. It's not like they were really deadly. I'd much rather run into a rattlesnake than a hobo spider or rodent droppings that carried the Hantavirus, which would kill you."

“And you think that exploring in such a place was fun?” Aylem was incredulous. “You could have killed yourself.”

The look on Emily’s face was one of thoughtful amazement, “Aylem, what is wrong? Why does this upset you? I don’t understand your reaction.” I could sense her aura start to shade to the green of fear. Her control was always a marvel to me, to wear that calm face when she was shaking inside.

“You’re always like this,” the Queen was getting more riled and it was making me uneasy. “You take such unreasonable risks. Why can't you just calm down and behave and let us protect you." The Queen's volume was getting louder and her face was turning red.

“Aylem,” I said quietly in the pause. She turned her frowning amethyst eyes at me, lips pursed, fists clenched.

“I would feel easier if you would pause for a moment and calm down, please,” I said in a reasonable and helpful voice. She glared at me and got even redder in the face. I began to wonder if I would survive this.

“Dammit,” Aylem stood up, and I could feel the power gather in her hands. I was startled by the sight of Usruldes appearing in front of Emily with two other wraiths, both women, on either side of him. One got in front of Emily to block her from Aylem's line of sight, and the other cast a barrier.

"What do you think you're doing?" Aylem snapped at him.

"Protecting Emily," Usruldes said in a monotone. "It might be better if you stayed away from her for a while."

"And who are you to say who I can or can't see?" she demanded.

"I w...will argue against that, Usruldes," Emily said in her soft sad voice. I could see from where I sat at my table that she was shaking. How did she manage to speak calmly?

"How is Aylem going to learn better people skills if she's not around people w...who care about her getting better?” Emily asked. “I appreciate your looking out for me, but please stand down."

He whipped around and stared at her in disbelief, "Emily, she could..."

"She could w...what, Usruldes? K...kill me? She's already done that."

Aylem gasped at what Emily had said and instantly lost her rage. She collapsed onto the lounge and held her head, close to tears.

"Try the Ud breathing thing, Aylem," Emily suggested in a helpful tone of voice. "It might help."

"With what?" Aylem asked with exasperation.

"Feeling a little too angry. W...we can continue talking about the possibility of hiding an ambush force inside of lava tubes as soon as I'm sure you aren't going to level the shrine."

"I wouldn't..."

"Both you and I know you can," Emily said in the same calm voice. "Aylem, I heard about the crater you made on the other side of the rift valley from Black Falls when you got angry at Imstay last rotation while I was in bed recovering from the attack. Now, I want to see that deep breath, count to ten, and let it out slowly." The now-flattened and remorseful Aylem gave in and followed Emily's suggestion.

As the two wraiths shadowing Emily stepped back and dropped the barrier, I could see that Emily was white in the face and trying not to shake anymore.

"Now what?" Aylem demanded, tears gathering at the corners of her eyes.

I mindcasted to just my son: * Take Emily to my bedroom, and sit with her in my armchair and let her calm down. *

* What, in my lap? * My son’s eyes were wide with surprise.

* She trusts you and a comforting hug works well with her. I need to keep Aylem from beating herself up too badly. *

My son picked Emily up without a word and vanished into my quarters. The two wraiths had already vanished. I charmed the door to my study shut and sat down next to Aylem to talk her back into a calm state.

Aylem treated every slip as a disaster and the acute depression she would fall into immediately afterward was counterproductive. She would not forgive herself, nor would she see resolving her anger without doing harm as a positive step forward. All of our lives would be so much easier if Aylem could stop expecting herself to be perfect.

I found myself hoping Lyappis and Kamagishi would return sooner rather than later. Both Lyappis and Kamagishi had the knack of getting Aylem to calm down. I would welcome all of their gossiping ways for the rest of my life if they could help fix Aylem.