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Maker of Fire
119. Vaudeville chemistry

119. Vaudeville chemistry

Emily, sleeping

I was sitting in the high school auditorium in Idaho Falls, alone and with the lights down. Suddenly there was a spotlight and to my disbelief, out danced a person-sized Galt along with Giltak. They were both dressed in pink tuxedos, straw flat hats, dancing canes, and tap shoes. A piped-in applause track played over the auditorium's lousy sound system. They started singing and dancing to the tune of 'Fit as a Fiddle and Ready for Love' from Singing in the Rain; the words, however, were rhyming couplets about wet chemistry recipes.

It was beyond ridiculous. They ended with the couplet:

Mix sal ammoniac and some quick lime.

Don't you dare heat it cuz it's sublime!

As a vaudeville pair, they weren't bad, but the ammonia sublimation pun was a bit much. They sang well together though I think I could have skipped the sight of a fluffy tuxedo cat in a pink tuxedo.

* I heard that thought, blasphemer! * Galt stamped his shoe on the stage in annoyance. He has all of a cat's vanity.

* Would you have preferred ballet? * he demanded. Suddenly the scene shifted to the set of Sleeping Beauty at the War Memorial Opera House in San Francisco. Galt was in a pink tutu and toe shoes. Giltak plopped into the chair next to me. We looked at each other and tried not to laugh. I passed them their popcorn. They passed me a plate of bacon. "You aren't going to have electrolysis at the place where you're going," Giltak said, "remember to write everything down so you remember it when you need it."

* Wait, wait, wait! * Galt shouted from the stage, stopping the orchestra in mid-measure. He appeared in the seat in front of me, * This Tom character you married? What was he like? Is he any competition for me? You know we should have kittens together. *

"Quit being a goof, Galt," Giltak rolled their eyes. "Don't listen to him, Emily. He gets like this at times. Just ignore him. He'll be back to normal in a day or two."

"Galt, for a god you're being dense," I served up my grumpiest look. "Whatever happened to your omniscience? Tom's death in Vietnam was the biggest sorrow of my previous life. He felt like the other half of me. We met and we were completing each other's sentences after just a week. Four years later, it had only gotten worse. All the joy I had in life left me when he died and I never got it back. Don't ever even joke about him or I'll show the god of wrath just what wrath looks like."

* Hmmm, * Galt tilted his head and gave me an inscrutable cat look, * if it's a second life, do you need to get married twice? You should ask Kamagishi. She's the law expert. *

"What? Wait! Galt!" I lunged for him as he started to recede into the distance and my arms wrapped themselves around the empty space above my bed as I sat up abruptly. Thuorfosi was just coming through the door from Lisaykos' bedroom with Usruldes in his black outfit behind her.

"That must have been some dream," Thuorfosi sat on the padded chest seat. Usruldes sat on the other one beside her.

"You're breathing heavily, Great One," Usruldes remarked. "Was Galt in your dreams just now? May I?" He held up a cupped hand, "I can check if your mind state shifted from being touched by a god.

I heard the heavy running feet of a Cosm and Lisaykos appeared in the door, "I heard you shout, Emily. Is something wrong?"

"She had Galt in her dreams," Thuorfosi answered for me. Trying to calm myself down, I nodded at Usruldes, who laid his hand on my knee. I watched as his eyes unfocused and then focused again.

"Giltak too?" he asked me.

I nodded, "yes, they came together. They seem to be pals at the moment." I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, letting it out slowly to try to calm myself. That miserable cat god! Was he joking?

I had my own assessment of Galt. If it was correct, then Galt was not the kind of character who would lead a person on about something important to him or her. Stated another way, he would never pull a lowly stunt like suggesting Tom existed when he didn't.

So, was Galt serious? Was Tom part of this world? No, I couldn't think like that. I knew that Galt looked at multiple time strands simultaneously, which was why he was the god of both knowledge and prophesy. Could he have seen some future life of mine? Or some event in this life that could happen? It was a tempting distraction. I had to put it aside for now. I had more urgent things to do than contemplate lost lovers.

"I need something to write on, right now. There should be some blank tablets on the shelf in the closet."

"Shouldn't you eat first?" Lisaykos asked.

"This is more important than food," I started to move to get out of bed and then stopped. "Usruldes, I need to change. Would you mind going elsewhere?"

"It's not a problem, you're hardly my type, and remember, I've already seen you in your nightgown, soaking wet." I could see the crows feet at the sides of his eyes crinkle up as he grinned under the face covering.

The pillow I threw impacted his face with a satisfying thwack noise, "out, now."

"Wow, good aim," he rubbed his nose.

I smiled with maximum malevolence at him, "I know."

He reached down, pulled out three tablets, and handed them to me, "I will see you in a while then, Great One. Gods be with you," he retreated out the door, dodging his mother. Lisaykos took his place on the padded clothes chest that doubled as a seat for Cosm. I barely noticed as I had taken the stylus and was already writing, half in Fosk, half in English for the parts that Fosk lacked:

> heat sal ammoniac with lime to make ammonium solution

>

> 2NH4Cl+Ca(OH)2 → CaCl2 +2H2O (vap) +2NH3 (g)

>

> condense vapor + gas to get ammonium solution, leaving CaCl2 (flux, desiccant) behind.

>

> If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, it's taken without the author's consent. Report it.

>

> burn sulfur with potassium nitrate in steam in a lead-lined vessel to get sulfuric acid.

>

> 2 KNO3 + S → K2O + SO3 (g) + N2 (g) +O2 (g)

>

> SO3 (g) + H2O → H2SO4 (aq)

>

> react sulfuric acid with potassium nitrate to get nitric acid and potassium bisulfate.

>

> Pour H2SO4 on KNO3 in flask + heat → HNO3 + KHSO4

>

> Then distill to get concentrated HNO3, leaving white KHSO4 behind

"Why did they want me to remember this?" I muttered to myself, forgetting the other two in the room. "Why would I want to make acids the hard way without electrolysis? Unless electrolysis was not possible? This doesn't make sense. If I have magnets, I can always do electrolysis."

Staring at the first chemical equation, it struck me that by just adding in some carbon, I'd have black powder. It was funny how leaving it out and inserting water instead would make sulfuric acid, though the concentration would have to be controlled by the amount of water or steam available. Was this a primitive version of the lead chamber process?

Then it struck me that this was an upgrade of black powder because nitric and sulfuric acid at a one-to-two ratio plus cellulose made gun cotton. The cellulose source could be cotton or linen or even certain tree barks. Gun cotton, also known as nitrocellulose, was five to six times more powerful than black powder. It was also dangerous unless it was done properly. A lot of people died before they figured out all the different ways that making it could kill you.

Then my mind went racing down another track: if I had lye, I could make good soap instead of that horrible stuff they use here, and then extract glycerin from it. If I had glycerin and good nitric acid, a whole world of high explosives opened up in front of me. I instantly wanted to gather up some materials to make some gun cotton and blow something up with it. How hard would it be to use gun cotton as the basis to make fireworks? This could be fun, I realized.

A large finger and thumb took hold of the tablet and pulled it out of my hands. "I really get nervous when you have that look on your face, dear heart," Lisaykos looked at what I had written. "More chemistry, I see, and none of it is the type I can understand. No, there's oxygen, nitrogen, and sulfur. What's this KNO3?"

"Potassium nitrate, also called saltpeter. I believe the common name here may be niter," I looked up at both Thuorfosi and Lisaykos looking perplexed. "Can I have my tablet back, please? I thought today was a goofing-off day for me. Is Asgotl back yet? I was thinking fishing might be fun while the good weather holds up."

The panicked look on Lisaykos' face was something I did not expect.

"What was that face for?" I wanted to know.

Lisaykos sighed, "We have another Impotuan problem. Usruldes is here to talk to you about it, during or after you eat your morning repast. Do you have a preference?"

"Is this Impotuan problem going to get any worse if I take a shower first?"

"No, and everyone else has already eaten," Lisaykos put the tablet on the shelf in the closet.

"I heated the water," Thuorfosi stated, "and I put a towel and your house coat in the shower stall. Want a hand down?" She looked entirely too chipper and sunny, given that it was morning.

"You're too cheerful to give me a hand down," I tossed the blankets out of the way and started to pivot for the bed stair.

"Right, one hand down coming up," she smiled with maniacal glee, lifted me out of bed, and carried me into the bathroom.

"Put me down and scoot, you overgrown monster, I need to use the necessary first." I couldn't give her too hard of a time. She was pregnant, after all.

"See you in a few minutes," she promised me. "I'll have some clothes set out for you when you're done."

Thuorfosi was one of those vile morning people and I was not. She was waiting for me in my bedroom when I was done to dry and braid my hair. If Lisaykos let me sleep in it was because she wanted me to rest today. I wore an undertunic and my red-plaid flannel house coat that Twesssera made for me. Usruldes and Aylem were waiting.

"You ready?" Thuorfosi said from behind me. I nodded and she lifted me into my chair. She then exited into the study since I was the only one eating and I surmised the topic of the morning repast conversation was just for me. At least the food looked appetizing, with poached eggs on buttered toasted bread with mashed turnips in cheese sauce, and bacon, of course.

Lisaykos, who liked to seat me immediately to her right, filled my beaker with hot sweet tea and put it in front of me. "You look a bit tired still. Maybe I should have let you sleep some more," she smiled. Lisaykos has an unusual face. When she smiles naturally, the rake of her eyebrows makes her look like she's just finished a session of terrorizing small children and torturing kittens. As a consequence, she only smiles to frighten healer trainees or to tease people.

I looked at that smile, raised an eyebrow, and asked: "What is it this w...week?"

"Cute little fluffy bunnies."

"Save the skins," I picked up my beaker of tea, "they're good for making mittens."

"I'll keep that in mind."

Aylem and Usruldes started laughing.

"Well, there is nothing scheduled for you today," Lisaykos informed me, "at least not for you since you are on a day of enforced rest."

"Oh joy," I said with no enthusiasm whatsoever.

"And enforced rest does not include any mekaner frenzy sessions with the unholy Raoleer and the Irreverent Huhoti," she added in her most threatening voice.

"W...wait," I put down my prong and knife, "I thought they were going back to Omexkel today."

"They are down in the alleys of the north market talking with crafters about building a pair of legs. The woodwork and metal work are easy to arrange since Wolkayrs is with them. The leatherwork needed is extensive and will take a few hours or maybe even a day to complete. Huhoti stayed up late playing with glayon vine sap so I believe they have enough rubber stuff to get a first version built for Kayseo."

"Well, I won't complain about it but I am surprised," I sawed a piece of thick yolk-covered bread off so I could eat it. "Does this have anything to do with the hidden attack forces the Impotuans snuck in? Isn't Rigdit just up the Rig River from Omexkel?"

"The ambushes we set in Kesmat, Rigdit, and Yuxvos all went well," Usruldes steepled his hands in front of his nose. "The ambush we set in Weirgos did not go well. Though we have Lord Opyus and his family in custody, about half his household soldiers and some significant portion of the Impotuan troops escaped into the forest to the south toward the No Return River Valley, which is the valley between Pinisla and Weirgos."

"That's not great, especially if they already have a trail blazed to get them to their new fort," I brought up a map of the south and center of the kingdom in my mind. So how does this affect us?"

"We've done some interrogation already," Usruldes' eyes sharpened. "Their targets were Raoleer and Huhoti, to capture if possible and take home to Impotu, because of the new sky metal foundry, glass, and paper. Their excuse for staying in Aybhas is to build Kayseo some legs. Their real reason is to stay close to Aylem, which is what we would like you to do too."

"As a general precaution or for a specific reason?" I was rapidly losing my appetite.

"The raid on the Impotuan force in Esso, which we estimated to be about a hundred, was a complete failure. They were already gone by the time we arrived and we can't find them."

"Not even Aylem?" I looked at the Queen, who was looking most unhappy.

"Not even in the Great Crystal," Aylem scowled, "and I was there for much of last night."

"So they are going to the Crystal Shrine or the Villa, or they are coming south to use the bridges here or in Gunndit. Or they could be escaping down the Ahkeseld River," I surmised.

"They left one squad behind to light fires, rumple bedding, and otherwise pretend that the whole force were present. We caught them and interrogated them. Their original plan, and we don't know if they have changed it, was to come here to Aybhas." His grey eyes looked like brushed steel. "Their target is you, Emily."

(continued in installment 120)