Emily, Manse Truvos, Harvest 7th rot., 6th day
On the morning that I managed to stroll up and down the hallway five times without collapsing, Lyappis insisted I dress formally in kirtle and gown. I was shocked to see that she had my black kirtle and formal scholar's gown from the Healing Shrine. Kayseo's balance on the new legs was excellent so she insisted on helping me dress. She was very fussy that I "look right," which worried me. I let a little temper show and insisted that someone tell me what was going on. At first I thought it might have to do with making a judgment on the leatherworker who injured me but the formal gown was too over the top for a simple judgment. Something didn't fit. I was finally finding the leverage my position gave me and I was using it when I needed to.
My short fit of stubbornness delivered two personages to the bedroom I did not expect. Kayseo mindcasted downstairs after I snapped at her with the result that Fassex and Kamagishi arrived, both in their formal robes, right down to the triple-roll headstalls of white wool and the cloth-of-electrum veils. Kamagishi wore the stunning necklace and pendant of cats' eyes gems that denoted her office as High Justicar of Foskos.
Fassex bore the sky metal halberd of her office as the kingdom's executioner-in-chief, which is one of the roles of the High Priestess of Landa. That was a mistake on her part. It was bad enough seeing Fassex all decked out in her purple robes with the black and gold sash of an adept. It always reminded me of meeting her for the first time, which was when I was interrogated by all 20 hands of this walking granite-spined nexus of power.
Things wouldn't have been so bad, I think, if I was fully recovered from the fever. I was still a bit weak and wobbly. It wouldn't have been so bad if Fassex had left the damn halberd downstairs. It certainly didn't help that this huge monster of a magical Cosm thumped the end of the halberd shaft when she rested it on the wooden floor ten hands in front of me. The sound and sight of that thing triggered the flashback, and for a while afterward, I couldn't banish the sight of the fire and the swords and the pole weapons of the overseers slashing and slicing my backlit bunkmates into pieces as they tried to flee the burning bunkhouse.
I heard the three Cosm try to talk to me but I couldn't manage to speak. Usually, I can pull myself out of a flashback far enough to banish the waking hallucination or at least defuse it. I think this time I was too run down physically to do that. When I came back to myself, I found I was sitting wrapped in a blanket with Kayseo's arms holding me against her as she sat in her wheelchair.
After my sore eyes were open for a few moments, she put her chin lightly on my head, "It's been a while since you had a flashback. You went white when the Holy Fassex bumped the floor with her halberd shaft, so I'm guessing that set you off. I told those two that we will not start until the fifth bell. Fassex's schedule and desire to get the trial done this morning can go sit and ferment with the jugged vinegar and cabbage. Who asked her to come anyway? They tried to overrule me but I threatened to use the Grace of Mugash." She chuckled softly with concealed menace. Kayseo was also discovering and using her own leverage.
"So there's a trial," I surmised. "Why here and why them? Why are the formal wear and the high priestesses? The leatherworker who tossed me out of her shop committed just straight-forward sacrilege, right? It shouldn't be that big a deal. Will you please tell me what it happening?"
"One of the charges is attempted murder, so it is more serious than just sacrilege. The slave who reported the crime can't testify because he is property, though he has been rewarded for his part in this," Kayseo explained. "Because it was reported and witnessed by a Coyn, a priestess justicar must verify the crimes with compulsion since you lack the magic to do that yourself. Because you are a sacred person, a priestess justicar must be present and a priestess adept must conduct the punishment. Lyappis asked Kamagishi to act as justicar because she thought you would feel more comfortable with a justicar you already knew and trusted. Fassex invited herself, though as the kingdom's high executioner, she is here to carry out the punishment that you decided upon."
"I knew the tin smith's Coyn helper got the search started but I didn't know he reported a crime," I was unhappy to hear of this. "W...why did no one tell me there was a trial as soon as I was ambulatory? I've not been delirious for three days now."
"Well, I would have told you but no one asked me for my opinion," Kayseo was picking her words. "I was told not to tell you. I think Lyappis didn't want to trouble you because you were looking so cheerful after the Revered Huhoti and I arrived. She's right, you know. You have been looking relaxed and smiling a lot since we got here. The Revered Lyappis said you seldom looked happy back at the Healing Shrine whenever she saw you there. She knew you might be angry with her for not telling you; however, she thought it would be a kindness to give you a few days with some friends without all the burdens of the world weighing you down again."
I mulled over what Kayseo said. I was all ready to have a good snit fit about another over-protective Cosm in my life but Kayseo undermined that. Besides, she made me realize I was looking for an excuse to have a snit.
"Yes, you were," she said, reading the thought. "Not that I would blame you for feeling ire. The powers that be could have had the courtesy to at least tell you earlier today since both the Revered Lyappis and I were confident you were up for it physically."
"Sometimes I think I should have a full-on temper tantrum just to get it across how unhappy I am over their treatment of me,” I grumped. “I am not going to break over unpleasant news."
"You just completely crumbled at the sight of a ceremonial halberd, you know," Kayseo took a finger and targeted the tense muscles at the base of my neck with just the right amount of pressure. "Hmm, someone's got some knots."
"Umm," I was ready to turn into pudding because Kayseo was good at making muscle knots dissolve. "It's not just the halberd. It had a big scary Fassex in full regalia attached to it. Every time I see her in that get-up, I remember the first time I met her when she interrogated me on behalf of the whole convocation. It w...was a terrible experience. Three days after that, she cast what looked like a charm of discipline on some Cosm at an Is’syal tea shop for blasphemy. Realizing that my answers to Fassex when we first met could have been construed as blasphemy, and seeing how easily she tortured the Cosm at the tea shop, she scared me so badly that I fainted. Fassex scares me as much as Aylem does."
"Maybe you should," Kayseo was thoughtful.
"Maybe I should w...what?" I was confused by her statement.
"Throw a full-scale snit over how constrained you feel," Kayseo suggested. "I know you don't feel right with precedence and hierarchy, but you have real power if you want to use it. It would not be untoward if you selfishly used a little power to establish what you consider acceptable treatment from your well-meaning but over-protective Cosm friends.”
"What?" I was gobsmacked.
"Look at it this way," Kayseo wrapped both arms around me again. "To someone like me, who has been educated and then blessed by Mugash as a caretaker of others, what I see on the surface is a weak undersized Coyn who isn't much taller than my kneecaps. Just looking at you makes me want to protect you. It's an automatic response for any healer. Then the godmarks showed up after Mugash revived you. Those make any silverhair who can sense aura feel a sliver of the same fear and awe we feel when in the presence of the gods. Seriously dear heart, if the Prophet Emily told Imstay King to take his army and exterminate every Impotuan, he would do it because no one can deny the orders of a prophet bearing multiple godmarks. That's what those godmarks do for you."
I was speechless. I had no idea that was the case. Was what Kaysea said true? That I could command the action of armies just because I got stuck with this lousy gig as a prophet? The irony was bitter.
I knew I would never do anything like that. Then I saw the possibilities and the temptation. Did power really corrupt or were the people corrupted by power morally weak or unclear on what their morals were? I did not want to travel that path. I would not become a monster. I would kill myself first or pray that someone would kill me for the sake of my former self. I thought of all those books I had read in the 1970s of people who were good upright Germans and Austrians who numbed their better selves to murder over six million fellow human beings. I did not want to become like those people. I was not the prisoner of Earth's tragic history. I would value life.
*And that, Emily, is why you are the prophet,* Sophia Erhonsay said, her voice speaking inside my mind. Then she appeared, Cosm-sized and backlit by the light coming through the calcite window panes. *You must decide the value of a life today, or so they will tell you. You can decide otherwise, and judge that life tomorrow or the day after. You know what your truth is. You just need to find the words to express it. Let your courage overcome your timidity, Emily. Tell them what the value of life is for one who has suffered to live, little one. What is the value of life for you and when is one life more important than another? That is what you should use to judge when asked to do so. Your words have power. Use those words wisely.*
"What?" Damn gods. How was I supposed to know all that? I wasn’t hard enough to be a judge. Sophia laughed at that thought and her smile was amused.
*Before you get overwhelmed, I did want to say that I am also looking forward to the fireworks. Just remember that arsenic makes a lovely blue in rockets. Don't take too long to invent the mortar. It will be useful for fireworks and the battle of Toyatastagka, though the fireworks will bring more joy to the world. Nothing is intrinsically good or evil, Emily. All things have their own balance which comes from how sapient life uses things and perceives the forces of nature. The storm brings rain to nurture life or floods to devastate where life clings to the planet. Even the mortar, which brings destruction and despair, can also bring delight and awe. Courage, child. I await your pyrotechnics.*
She vanished as quickly as she had appeared. I might have taken it for a fever dream except Kayseo was frozen and tense with fear.
"She is gone," I nudged Kayseo's elbow with a jab from mine. "You can breath now."
"That was worse than when Mugash appeared on the south balcony when you died," Kayseo was breathing heavily and I could feel the pulse in her wrists racing as I rested my arms on top of hers.
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"She was right in front of you, Kayseo," I noted. "I think she was much closer than Mugash had been. Distance seems to make a difference between simple fright and paralyzing fear in Cosm, from the times I've had the chance to observe. Let us change the subject to something less frightening and more germane. Can you help me out of this lovely kirtle and into some everyday clothes? Or at least help me into a house coat? I don't w...want to get the kirtle stained from eating because I can't eat with my right hand for now. I'm hungry and would love to eat something soon. I really don't want to resort to auto-cannibalism."
"Auto-cannibalism?" Recovering her wits, Kayseo gave me one of her long-suffering looks of put-upon patience.
"Kayseo, I can't lift my right hand to undo the laces and I can't use my right arm to pull it over my head. It takes a while for the swelling to go away after a dislocation, and this one's got bruises on top of it. My arm is useless for at least a rotation, which is annoying since I want to play with that plate glass Huhoti brought me."
"You're incorrigible," she rolled her eyes at me.
"No, I'm hungry and no one consulted with me about my clothes this morning. How did these get here, anyway? And why this formal wear instead of a nice kirtle and gown? And will the food come to visit us or do I have to suffer through eating in a room full of too many big people, half of whom scare the crap out of me?"
"I can arrange to have mid repast sent up for the two of you," Lyappis walked in. I suspected she had been lurking outside the door waiting for a good moment to intrude. The manse downstairs must be boiling with frantic silverhairs because a deity appeared close enough to be felt. She pulled up the stool next to the wheelchair. "There was a god here," it was a statement. "Who was it? I had to restrain the Queen and three high priestesses from running up here, but I didn't want a repeat of your trauma attack. Those are frightening visions you had. That was the first time I had seen one of your flashbacks."
"I've never had a repeat attack on a day w...when I've had a flashback," I pointed out, aware I was admitting this to a near-stranger. I didn't even like to admit I had flashbacks to myself. Why was I discussing this with someone who was mostly a stranger?
"I'm not a stranger, little one," she gave me the warm cosy granny smile. "We're just newly acquainted. Besides, that trauma attack just managed to destroy all my carefully constructed relaxation time for you. Now you'll be wound up again and more sensitive than usual to all silverhairs surrounding you. I tried to keep the Holy Fassex from following my daughter upstairs but the old goat is too old and stubborn to take orders from just about everyone." She signed. "What would you like for mid repast? The kitchen is making ham, bacon, and beef sandwiches but I'm afraid the bread is not small enough for you."
"You're slicing loaves lengthwise to make one Cosm-sized sandwich, yes?" I asked. "I thought mid repast was nips and beef with butter roasted cabbage and onions?"
"We changed plans because my son wanted to show off his sandwiches in front of Lord Gunndit."
"Lord Gunndit is here?"
"Yes," Lyappis looked apologetic. "I'm afraid I must share some of the blame for this fiasco. More people showed up than I expected. I requested my daughter come in her role as justicar to run this trial for you and Fassex invited herself. Then my boy Sopno saw that Lord Gunndit arrived with the Queen, so he decided to do sandwiches because it's trendy. Those two are like this all the time. He already has the sugar beet field laid out for next year."
"Phooey, I was looking forward to nips," I sighed. I had heard about the rivalry between Lord Truvos and Lord Gunndit. "Sizing down is easy, Lyappis. Just take a loaf and cut it to make rounds through the middle, at right angles to its length. Try to keep the cooks from cutting too thick. I like lots of white egg sauce and that tangy sheep cheese. Lettuce is nice if there's any fresh, though it's probably too late in the year."
"We may have some in the stasis room," Lyappis said. I'll see what I can arrange. "And you, Kayseo?”
"I like lots of white egg sauce too. Skip the cheese please," she smiled.
"Hot cider or tea?"
"You're a cruel woman, Lyappis. That's an evil thing to offer when the cider press is running. Hot cider, please," I said. "Can you get the cooks to cut the sandwich for me into several smaller ones? I'm afraid I'm stuck eating one-handed."
"I will take care of it, but I might need to make a bowl of the ingredients instead so you can eat with a prong with bread on the side. I'll see what we can manage. One more thing. Your housemate would like to come up and say hello. She's been working so hard at being patient this morning. She refrained from running after my daughter earlier, unlike Fassex. It would be a kindness."
"My housemate?" For a moment, my brain couldn't make a connection. Then I realized who she was talking about. "Blarg. Yes, please send Lisaykos up. I didn't know she was here or I would have asked earlier."
"So which god was it and can you share what the message was?" Lyappis didn't forget her primary task.
"It was Erhonsay in her aspect as Wisdom," I replied as Kayseo started with the laces that went from waist to neck. They only had to be undone at the top for my head to fit through because I was flat enough that the kirtle would slip off easily after that, assuming I had two arms to pull it off. "The message was that I should use my own judgment for what a life is worth in making my decision on what to do with the leather crafter who threw me out her back door. She advised that I should take all the time I need to make my decision and then articulate the reasoning behind that decision. I believe her intent was for me to explain what the value of a life is. She also asked that I create a working mortar in preparation for war in Mattamesscontess. She also made a statement that the nature of good and evil is a matter of perspective and interpretation when applied to objects and nature. Did I leave anything out, Kayseo?"
"Dear heart, I heard the god talking to you but I was so frightened that I can't remember most of the words. What was she talking about when she wanted you to make fireworks? Is that more instant fire?" Kayseo's tone was apologetic.
"Surd save us," I shook my head. "Well, get this kirtle off me, hand me my housecoat, and find me some paper or a wax tablet. I better write this down before Kamagishi and Lisaykos have a cow if I don't leap on this. If my shoulder felt better, I'd climb out the window and go fishing."
"I'll get some writing material right away, and then I'll get food arranged for you two," Lyappis stood and walked out.
"Hold on, let me put you on the bed," Kayseo stood up and walked me slowly to the bed. "I can't go quickly, but I can walk with a normal gait almost as far as you did this morning. It's strange walking without working calcaneal tendons." We managed to get the kirtle off me without too much trouble. She hung it up on the clothes bar. Then we tackled the house coat. I was surprised when she turned down the bedding and turned to put me back in bed.
"What's that for?" I asked, frowning.
"Remember, there's no table up here for you. There's just the bed tray for eating in bed unless you want to go downstairs for a dose of too many silverhairs being overly formal at you," she grinned.
"Before you do that," Lisaykos said as she lett herself into the room, stepped around Kayseo and walked up to where I was sitting on the edge of the bed. Her hair was up in a complex arrangement of braids and she was in her formal robes, except the stole, veil and headstall were missing.
"Stop me if this hurts in any way," she got on her knees and wrapped me in an inescapable hug, burying her head in my left shoulder. "I knew you would be fine but I still worried," her muffled voice had a little bit of a catch to it. "I missed you," and her voice ended in a concealed sob. She rarely showed any deep emotion. I didn't know she was this fond of me.
"I didn't intend to get kidnapped by a pair of gods to go on an adventure. I had been looking forward to a nice peaceful cold season sitting in bed and reading," I leaned my head against hers since there was no other part of me I could move. There was a lot more of Lisaykos than there was of me and she had my arms immobilized. She didn't release me until she had regained her composure. Outward aplomb and dignity are important to Lisaykos' self-image so I did not grudge her the extra moments she needed.
"You know, you haven't told anyone besides this closed-mouth insubordinate," she nodded at Kayseo, "about what happened to you. We do know you visited the Holy Mieth and the Holy Losnana, but not much else." She sat back on her heels and gave me one of those looks, which not having seen her for a while, was a welcome sight. I could spend a day cheerfully soaking up every frustrated, disgusted, long-suffering, annoyed, and exasperated look she sent my way.
"What's that look for?" she demanded, looking at what was probably a contented smile on my face.
"I missed you," I said honestly. I had missed all of the five souls who made up my little shrine family in Aybhas.
She leaned her forehead against mine and put her hands on my shoulders. Speaking very softly, she remarked: "Emily, dear, when the Impotuans took you, you had seven godmarks. Now you have nine. The gods are making it known beyond a doubt that they have claimed you. I'm so sorry. If I could smuggle you out to Omexkel or Inkalim, I would, but you know they would find you."
"I know," I sighed. It was something I avoided thinking about because it still upset me. "You said you knew I would be fine. Were you assuming that I would land on my feet because I have a habit of doing that, or..."
"Galt appeared before Lyappis and Kamagishi at the shrine the day you were captured,” she informed me. “He gave Kamagishi a foretelling that you'd be walking home. His appearance even woke up Aylem from her recovery sleep after some of her miracle-working healing." She grinned, "You'll be amused. I slept through it."
"What?"
"I'm told, by Thuorfosi, who takes great joy in repeating it to anyone with ears," she grinned deeper, "that I'm as bad a patient as you are."
"Lisaykos, what happened?" I couldn't hide my concern.
"I defended the Well of Mugash from the Impotuans," she gave me a lopsided grimace. "I had to cast stasis on myself after I got skewered by two polearms at the same time. Honestly, I didn't think I would make it."
"I’m glad you survived that. I must disagree, though, because I am not a bad patient," I stated with feeling. It didn't help that Kayseo started laughing.
Lyappis walked in followed by two house boys carrying trays of food and a table to set them on. "I assume, Lisaykos, that you'd like to eat mid repast with these two troublemakers?"
"Yes, please," Lisaykos got off her knees. She grinned, loomed, and then carefully picked me up by the waist. "Will you stand the pillows up and spread the food cloth over the covers, Lyappis?"
At least Lisaykos refrained from tucking me in. I sat on top of the covers and got more small sandwiches than I could eat placed in front of me on the bed tray. The bread slicing was perfect. "The bread slices are amazing," I couldn't help but praise the cutting artistry.
"Lord Irhessa did that. He insisted after the kitchen staff gave up. He's rather good with his kinetic magic," Lyappis remarked after making sure all three of us were adequately seated and served.
"I know," I remembered the trip to find bismuthite. "What a showoff. So Irhessa is here too. It's the invasion of the Gunndits."
"It's worse," Lisaykos said. "Fed, Troy, and Oyyuth are here because the family was here for one of the family days at the shrine. And so are Katsa, Musshia, and two of their three boys. Fed and Troy want to say hello, by the way."
"They all came?" I was gobsmacked. Was this a circus instead of a trial?
"Emily, it's the Truvos versus Gunndit rivalry," Lyappis looked amused. "The Gunndits will use any excuse to drop in on my son for a day or two of friendly social heckling and my son and his family do the same to Lord Gunndit. They've been at it for years."
"You should put one of those sandwiches in your mouth, Emily," Kayseo teased me, "before a bug flies in. Or are they too heavy for you? Can I help with that?"
"Ah," Lisaykos sighed in contentment. "Now I know you are really real and not an illusion, dear heart. How I have missed the flaming daggers of death glare."