Mori was currently standing next to a water dispenser. There were no funny conversations or intriguing gossip currently happening because her colleagues were a bunch of losers. Additionally they were all in an important meeting, an important meeting she was supposed to attend. But she weighed her options and she found out instant coffee was better than hanging out with a bunch of egotistical pricks.
And it was not like she was needed, she knew that they were all the top of the top when it comes to being magical girls. The council have more than enough attempts to brute force any problem they encounter. And Mori knew they were stupid. They knew how to fight but at the same time, they barely knew anything about fighting.
And she was not waiting for the day she would be forced to be sent on a foolish mission. In her mind, she was already imagining them arguing over something stupid like wafers or when to murder an annoying person. As much as she enjoyed bossing over the other members, she was getting old. It has been two decades and a half, she was getting bored of it all. It was only a month before she retires and she is hell bent on retiring. Thankfully she hasn't gotten out of her magical girl transformation for years.
As for her retirement, she has yet to tell any of the council members because she doesn't want to die. They were not gonna kill her of course, in fact they would celebrate that she would be gone from the council. They were all naturally born haters. She feared that telling them would trigger a death flag, everybody knows when you work in a dangerous job you never tell people when you're gonna retire. Currently just by thinking of her life in a mansion somewhere comfortable like Hawai, she risks herself getting killed.
“MORI!” A girl dashed through the corridors and swept her up, in just two seconds they were both at the meeting room of the building, a big spacious dark room with a round table surrounded by lawn chairs. “Girls, it wouldn't hurt to spend more on better chairs would it?” She sat down in the middle of the girl who forcefully moved her and an empty seat reserved for her long time friend.
“Excuse me, Justice where have you been?! We have spent 10 minutes waiting for you to arrive.” A girl with a massive fluffy top hat sat opposite of her. She was the leader of the council, the magical girl of... Mori smirked and quickly covered her mouth. “Sorry, softness. Bwahahahaha!’’ She pulled out a spear from the ground and launched it at the council leader immediately and quickly.
Softness ducked and the spear exploded into fragments upon contact with her hat. “I wasn't gonna hit you I swear!” She shakily moved up and was decked in the head by Justice. “Kya!” She fell down into her cheap monoblock chair. “Stop bullying me!”
“Sorry softness, you're just so kyute. I just want to squeeze you until you pop like a balloon.”She smiled and returned to her seat, feeling satisfied from the shoves she gave out.
Softness rubbed her face and moved her hat. “Lets begin with an important matter at hand, The magical girl of Carnage is dead.”
“Huh?” Justice frowned, the only cool magical girl except her in the council was dead. Additionally this will definitely lower their niche manic pixie dream girl fan count.
“Now let's take a moment of silence for our fallen comrade… Okay that's enough.” Softness flipped her hat and pulled out a massive white board. “We should immediately look for a replacement, I don't like being in a group with odd odd members. Any suggestions?”
The girl to the left of Justice raised her hand, another person she knew for quite some time. The two of them and six others formed the Eight Warlords of Japan. Sadly the name was immediately changed when she was kicked out of being leader by one of her old colleagues. She later got her justice by burning her apartment down.
“What is it, Time?”
Time was a girl with navy blue hair tied up in a ponytail. She wore steampunk clothing, a blue long penguin suit covered in gears and accessories that served no purpose other than to look cool. Justice had no clue what the mechanisms and the gauntlets she wore did. But that did not stop her from stealing them when they fell off during combat.
"How did Carnage die?"
Softness rubbed her eyes and took a marker from her hat. She drew a stickman drawing with huge claws. "While Carnage was busy ripping through some invaders with her arms, a metal harpoon struck her and pulled her out."
Everyone glanced over at the only member with a sadden face. She was wearing a sailor uniform and was trembling and sniffling.
"Stop looking at her. She did not do it." A medieval suit of armor covered the girl with her gauntlets. "She wouldn't hurt any one of us "
"Nobody said anything." Softness slammed her gloved hand at the whiteboard and took everyone's attention. "Carnage was then assumedly killed by monsters. Her body was mangled and burnt, the invasion was near the sea and everybody was already evacuated so nobody saw her death." She drew a huge x over the stickman and she wiped it clean.
"As far as I'm aware, we all know harpoons don't just magically fire off and monsters can't burn you. But maybe I'm clueless, I mean who knows really? Who would kill a magical girl?" Her eyes narrowed down and she eyed all of the members quickly. "I'm not saying it was one of us, but come on girls."She stabbed the marker into the whiteboard, dyeing it in black.
She grabbed her hat off the table and swung it up, the hat glided down and landed on her head. “Unless invaders are evolving, there's a killer on the loose.” She snapped her gloveless hand and the whiteboard was wiped clean. “Now, please give me some names, Carnage was our newest member and she died immediately, so let's look for somebody stronger.”
“I know somebody strong, you remember that destroyed city to the west of here? I heard the magical girl of combat defended it all by herself.” Exclaimed a loud voice. “I reckon I can recruit her and whip her up to shape in a jiffy. Proclaimed the last present member, a girl wearing sweatpants and a white jacket.
“Wear some proper clothes damnit!”
----------------------------------------
The meeting was over after a couple minutes, the magical girls all left and went to do their own thing except for two. Chiasa Fujino, the magical girl of Protection, and Ayaka Horiuchi, the magical girl of Abyss. Ayaka was crying and Chiasa was busy consoling her like usual. “ I just cant believe Miss Nana would die like that.” She hugged Chiasa tightly, crying into her cold hard metallic shoulder.
“She was such a nice girl too, for the short time I knew her she treated me so well.” Chiasa patted her back, “that's because you threatened her when she stole your turkey sandwich from the fridge.”
Ayaka smacked her knight in the head and launched her to the ground. She stomped her foot down with her arms making fists of anger at her sides. “Don't say that Chiasa, I was simply explaining the office rules!”
“Ughhh”
Unauthorized duplication: this tale has been taken without consent. Report sightings.
She took a deep yawn and stood silently waiting for her friend to stand up. Chiasa shakily leaned on the corridor’s wall and shot a two finger gun at Ayaka. “Lets get some lunch at that cafe you like.”
“Which one? Is it perhaps the seafood buffet?”
“That restaurant closed down because the fish was poisoning the guests.”
“Really?”
“Yes I was one of them.”
“Oh. Is it the cat theme bakery?”
“Bingo! We're gonna go to your favorite cafe. Quick hop on my hands, I will get us there in a matter of seconds.” She flexed her arm which was encased in hard steel and winked despite her head being covered by hard steel as well.
“No thanks.” Ayaka kicked down the concrete walls, shattering and creating a door to the room next to them. She stepped inside the room and raised her hand up. Water manifested around the room before swirling in a vortex in her open hand. She jabbed her arm forward and a metallic anchor launched out, decimating the walls of the rooms in front of her until there was a clear pathway outside.
“Lets go Chiasa.” She wiped the remaining tears off her face and reached her hand out.
“Ayaka… That's the wrong direction.”
"Oh."
----------------------------------------
Cosette sat on an office chair with wonderful traction and mobility. She spun around to the tune of a ringing telephone. Her room was covered in posters and strings of yarns connecting random places in a map of a city thousands of hours away. It has been two weeks since her emergence as the perfect cutest magical girl.
Upon obtaining complete control of her body she has gone to her mission of making all magical girls cute again. With a massive amount of cash she has acquired immense knowledge over her enemies in the form of a single telephone.
"Hello there has been new info regarding your requested-"
"Oohhhhh~ho-ho-hohohoho!" She laughed and laughed until she fell off her chair and onto the dusty floor. She then stood up and grabbed the phone.
"Hohohohohohoho!"
"Stop laughing please."
"Sorry about that. You see when a cute girl, like me, gets happy, she can't just stop herself from expressing her joyful precious laugh."
"I see… Well regarding the updated info, I have confirmed that the magical girls, Protection and Abyss frequently visit famous restaurants and as of right now are currently dining in a cafe called Hiromishi's Bread and Cats."
"How delightful… Please continue telling me about this cafe." She placed the telephone down on her table and left her room in a hurry.
"The cafe is a cat themed bakery which serves desserts and wonderful drinks. It has a 4.8 rating with multiple famous food critics giving it high praise. Here's a review from food critic Keith. I was raised in a family that was far from rich. When I was a young child I had to fight off our neighbors' cats for their cat food. This cafe gave me a wonderful experience as I was above the cats in their place and-"
----------------------------------------
A knight, a sailor, and a cute girl walked into a bar. Oops scratched that, it was a cafe, the one and only Hiromishi’s Bread and Cats. The knight and the sailor sat at a table together eating a comically cat-shaped pie. The cute girl arrived an hour later and sat on an empty table and ordered nothing. The employees were bothered, not because she didn't order anything but because sitting on tables was unsanitary.
“Chiasa, let's order a strawberry cake, let's split it eighty/twenty.” Ayaka devoured the cake in a matter of seconds like a very hungry shark. Her knight meanwhile patted her on the back and raised her hand. “Waiter, one strawberry cake and a slice of cheese cake please.”
“And tell him to give me some water.”
Chiasa stood up and started stretching her body. She spun around the cafe while wearing a metal helmet with green lines and a blue plume. “Ayaka I'm gonna take a leak.” She walked past the cute girl, winking at her, and out of the cafe then into the alleyway next to it. She stood loitering and humming in the alleyway. She clasped her hands together and waited patiently for something.
After five minutes of waiting she weakly kicked the wall of the cafe and walked back to the front of the building. She punched the already opened door gently and yelled out in anger. “Why the hell haven't you left the building?” She looked forward, her eyebrows frowning, and saw the ‘cute’ girl get flung out of the building by a stream of water at the corner of her eyes . “Oh hello Chiasa!” Ayaka waved both her hands and stood up from her chair.
“You knew she was a monster as well?”
“No, she was just being really annoying and trying to lecture me about the ways of being a magical girl. Anyway won't you please keep her out of the cafe while I eat Chiasa~?
“Leave it to me.” She ran off and tossed herself out of an unbroken window and into Cosette. Her body was as sharp as a spear and as hot as the bright loyal sun in the sky. She tore through the entire left chest of Cosette, disarming her and burning her flesh.
“Damn it, I even walked over here to avoid this type of attack!”
She landed in the street, scratching and wreaking the cement road. “Were you the one who killed Mina?”
“Who?” Cosette regenerated her missing arm and the burnt part of her clothes. “Oh you mean that Magical Girl of Carnage? Would it be cute if I did?”
“Murderers are not cute. That's why people say I'm only cool.” She raised her arms and a bolt of lightning struck her. In the blink of an eye, her weapon of choice, a long pure metal spear which glowed pure white to any human observer had appeared in the palm of her gauntlets. “Now I summon the shield of tomorrow!”
A long rectangular shield spun in the air around her, slowly reducing its diameter until it precisely smacked her shin. “These things are always hard to control.” She was then struck by a silver truck covered in rainbow and heart stickers. Chiasa clung onto the hood of the truck with her dear life. She was moving at a law breaking speed down the road and was hitting whatever object or person unlucky enough to cross the road at the time.
She jabbed her spear forward at the driver’s seat of the truck and the spear collided cleanly through the tinted glass and deep into the back of the truck. The clean sound of a fuse came from inside the truck and Chiasa was left with a shocked and anxious face under her helm. The truck exploded and the whole road along with several buildings were decimated. From afar people all the way from other blocks could see the smoke rising up.
In the midst of the cloud of smoke, two people stood facing each other. Chiasa, with her shining glorious armor which sent chilling shocks to the evil of the world and the spear of the people used for defending the innocent and all that was precious, and Cosette.
She ran with her feet, skipping quickly trying to catch up but also appearing charmingly adorable. “You are far from cute. If you're gonna wear a helmet, then you better make it as cute as me. Nobody wants to see their glorious heroic Magical Girl save them while being covered by a tin can. But I wont attack you, no-no no! Instead let's change it up a little, how about we talk things out?”
“You want to talk and not fight?”
“Yes” She raised both her thumbs out and smiled with her tongue out. “Us Magical Girls should work together and put on a wondrous act.”
“I agree, you should come closer so when we can have this talk.”
“No you should be the one to step forward, after all I would like to apologize for the truck.”
“Oh so that was yours? I am a little tired so you should move your legs. I wouldn't want to strain my ‘cute’ legs now should I?” She took an offensive stance and shook her head wildly. Her eyes flashed bright yellow light which pierced through her helmet. “You Goddamn monster!” She threw her spear forward aiming for the head of the magical girl of cuteness.
Cosette arch her back in a way impossible to any normal human, the spear flew right past her and landed a couple feet away, imbedding itself on the remains of the exploded road. “I'm no monster, I'm the Magical Girl of Cuteness and I wi–Guaaclk!” Chiasa caved her face in with a strong punch from her dominant hand, her gauntlet buried deep into her flesh, melting and disfiguring the cutest face around.
Chiasa pulled back her hand and slammed her free hand down like a hammer at Cosette’s skull. Her body tumbled down from the impact and she was stunned from the extreme blunt force. Chiasa stood over Cosette and raised her foot up and rammed it into Cosette’s chest. With every single blow dealt to her, she let out a pained and high pitched blood curdling scream.
Her head was lifted up forcefully and big droplets of tears and blood trickled down her face. The face of a young teenager full of despair was reflected on the hero’s shining helmet. Chiasa weakened her grip and dropped Cosette back to the ground.
“Stand up.” Chiasa took ten steps back, watching her enemy with a focused and dominating aura. Her overwhelming burning presence towered over Cosette as she slowly got up. Cosette stumbled back a couple steps gaining distance while suffering from strong head trauma. She slapped her head and her pupils dropped back to the middle of her eyes.
“Barbaric maniac!” Cosette swung her arm down, releasing the essence of cuteness, and from out of pink sparkles, bunnies, and cat figures, she summoned her pink wand. She lifted it and aimed dead center at the heart of Chiasa. “Begone false Magical Girl of Wrath! Gorgeous Gleam!” Visions of the puppied eyed pest doing idol poses entered Chiasa’s mind.
A beam composed of pure human cuteness and extreme amounts of magic collided with her armor. Chiasa stood unfazed by the beam, it felt as strong as the wind breeze from her childhood. Immediately after the beam ran out of juice, Cosette took 4 steps forward and pointed her finger. She stood with a wide smile and a sense of victory in her monstrous eyes.
“Arms of Softness!” She raised her hands up and two massive pink fluffy cat paws were constructed in the air above her. She slashed her arms around and the cat paws followed along much like the dolls of a talented performer, tapping and touching every single part of her enemy’s armor. And much like those same dolls, they certainly lacked a strong punch to them.
“One, Two, Three, Four, Five…” As the paws collided, Cosette counted loudly with a cheerful voice. “Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten!”
Chiasa kept marching forward while enduring all the soft and comfy hits coming at her. When she closed the distance in a matter of steps, she lunged forward, grabbing and throwing Cosette up and high into the air. She followed this throw with a superhuman jump upwards, grabbing Cosette a second time and moving her below her. “Fallen Star!” They plummeted down into the ground in an explosive spectacle.
Her body crumpled onto the ground, her bones cracking and her flesh melting off from the heat radiating from the metallic armor. However Cosette's body did not give up, her flesh regenerated and her body reconstructed itself to align back to its normal shape. Chiasa grabbed her by the torso and tossed her far away, her body spinning around like a teetotum.
Cosette fell onto the ground, her mind wandering off to a place free from the head trauma she had experienced. What remained was her spirit and wide grinning smile.