The pub hummed with chatter and music. Dee appeared through the doorway in the back, carrying 8 large mugs of ale and serving the customers, as Nicole swept floors in the back. She sighed and playfully nudged Vinn as he tended the grill, adding chopped wood for fuel and heading back out to chop more. Nicole sighed again and scuffled her feet.
“I love how I got floor sweeping duty.” Nicole complained.
“Hey…” Dee shrugged. “At least you get to be near Vinn. I don’t get to see Gizzy all day. This beats construction work. You wanna hang out with her and Silverback rebuilding the stairs and roofing?”
“Yea, that one does suck more.” She agreed. “I just feel underutilized. I get that Gizzy wants the leader, no idea why the hell I’m the other leader, but whatevs. But I’m supposedly important? BUT, I’m here just sweeping floors and cleaning stuff. I could be doing something productive.”
“Do you have construction skills, brute wood chopping strength, or any cooking experience?” she asked.
“Dee, I’m just not used to hearing your voice and having what comes out actually make sense and have intelligent points. I’m used to an airhead just nodding like I’m right because she’s probably drunk and fueling my bad ideas. It’s harder to get used to than anythi-…no actually you and Gizzy as a couple is harder to get used to. I still feel like you and Silverback are a thing. He dated your counterpart so long, I see you two acting friendly and I just think…like oh they’re back together, not…oh she’s with Gizzy and an entirely different person who doesn’t know him.”
“It seems odd to me that they were a thing at all.” Dee said filling more mugs. “He seems like a nice guy with integrity, and Dee sounded, kinda terrible. Why did he stay with her if she cheated and neglected him?”
“Dee. Most men have this weakness. It’s called tits. They also just get lonely and make bad decisions, like all of us. You don’t know someone till you’ve already dated them for a while and with her…your…that rack, an older guy who works all the time with no free time and ends up spending months renovating the house lived in by a single pornstar, he just saw her as larger than life and kind of the dream. Hot celebrity goggles. And by the time the dream became a sad nightmare, he was sort of content with it. Some people would rather be miserable with someone they barely like, than miserable and alone. Plus the sex was apparently great, that’s enough for most guys. Or just being able to date a pornstar that does all online solo content. Mostly online solo content, as it turns out. He chose to ignore a lot of stuff. She just finally crossed a line.”
“What was the line?” Non-organic Dee asked.
“Banging a thousand pound cloned Delmarian who was a copy of the guy Vinn fought to the death and who tried to kill me, kidnapped my clone and ended up being the head of a very literal underground human sex trafficking ring. And that was also the guy who kidnapped her and tried to sell her into slavery when she cheated on him.”
“Oh, well, I…regret asking now. I assumed it was more like…getting drunk and kissing a fan. So yea much much worse than I ever imagined. No wonder people look at me weird. I’m the mirror image of an absolute trainwreck. Poor Nathan. Why does everyone call him Silverback but Gizzy?”
“It’s a…male nickname thing on Delmar. Nathan Silverman, Silverback gorillas are like big alpha males, and they all respect him as the elder, and also he has grey hair. It just kinda became a nod to him as foreman of the crew. Elder respect. Even Dee called him that. Gizzy does it to show dominance. She’s the alpha dog, so she calls him by his name.”
“Shit. I’ve been calling him Nathan.”
“It’s fine. He doesn’t care. He’s probably glad to be fixing the house damage instead of showing his face in town after the fight he lost.” Nicole sighed.
“But…he was defending that girl. He stood up to a bully.” Dee noted as the back door opened.
“Doesn’t matter.” Vinn said passing through to unload more wood. “We’re guys. Back on Delmar, us Delmarians fight to the death over that kinda stuff. First blood is considered a child’s game. Anyone over about 7 years old exclusively fights honor battles to the death. Unless it’s your father, then sometimes it’s first blood to show you’ve become a man, and sometimes also still to the death because they just didn’t like their father, and it’s totally legal to murder your parent in the arena.”
“So Nath… Silverback defends a girl’s honor, and fight a bigger way younger guy hand to hand, but because he can’t sword fight very good he’s suddenly a pussy and has to walk home in shame. That’s some bullshit.” She sighed, “Nobody even helped.”
“Can’t help.” Vinn noted. “If your friends have to help you fight one guy…you are extra pussy. Gotta fight alone. Man rules. Welcome to ancient traditions and toxic masculinity.” Vinn smiled, heading back out for more wood.
Dee placed down the drinks and made sure to show extra cleavage as she gave Borren a wink. He looked surprised as she approached and handed him a beer he didn’t order.
“You must have read my mind.” He smiled.
“On the house. If you like free treats, maybe you should head around back in about an hour when I take a break. I promise it’ll be more interesting than the beer.”
He stood outside, taking in the cool night air as Dee sashayed into the dim light of the lantern.
“I noticed you the other night.” He said. Seemed like the only one of your little group without a man.
“Oh, I don’t need one, I got backup. Brought your sword. Surely you didn’t think you’d need that.” She scoffed.
“Not for you, I brought a different kind of weapon for you. This was just in case you showed up with 3 armed men to teach me a lesson. I take what I want, and I do what I want. That kind of authority either makes people drawn to you or hate you. So I never go anywhere without my sword." He said, leaning it against the wooden siding. Footsteps approached from behind her as a dark figure circled widely, near the treeline. “Always have a backup plan in case a treat becomes a trick. So did you come here to jab me in the back with a knife, or to get jabbed yourself?”
“Does it look like I’m armed?" She said doing a little twirl. “But you might wanna tell your friend to go back to the bar. I don’t like being watched.”
“Too damn bad. You either came back here to rob me, fuck me, or to put a knife in my back. I don’t appreciate a tease or the other two options so, you should just get used to someone standing guard and watching.”
“I dunno. That’s kinda gay. You only have sex with women if a man is watching you, dot it? I mean I’m not judging or anything, it’s okay to be gay, everyone’s a little gay, I’m gay as hell, I’m just sayin…this seems a little gay.” Dee whispered.
“You really do look for trouble, don’t you? Pick a spot and I’ll bring it to ya.” He said stepping closer.
“Damnit, okay fine, that didn’t work. Look, I’m here to fight you fair and square with honor, no backstabbing or guys in the bushes waiting to gang up on me if I start winning.”
“HA… You came here to fight me, hand to hand?” Boren belly-laughed.
“Or with weapons, your choice, I could go get my axe. You wanna get humiliated by a girl or executed by one? Entirely your call. I came here to give you bruises and a bloody nose... but if your guy in the woods doesn’t piss off real quick, I’ll just yell for Vinn, and then you got that big guy on your ass. You really wanna fight him or me? Tell you what. You fight fair and win, you get the treat you wanted…if I win, I drag you in that bar and show everyone how manly you really are. Losing a fight to a 5 foot 2 chubby barmaid. So…you scared to play alone, or you need your armed friend to watch and hold your hand?”
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“Stovac… back to the table. Make sure nobody else disturbs us. My men OR hers. This won’t take long.” He smirked.
“Oh that’s not really bragging if you think you’re guaranteed that victory poke, but, okay buddy. Weird flex. Thanks for the low expectations.” She said getting ready for the fight.
“So what’s your little secret? Are you a fighter pretending to be a bar wench, or you just like rough foreplay?”
“Okay… technically that last one might be accurate, but I’m spoken for, so it’s not relevant here. I just don’t intend to lose, because I may not have much fighting skill, but I’m sturdier than you realize. You’ll definitely land more hits, they just won’t mean much.” She smiled as he tossed his jacket aside.
“I don’t normally fight women, but you asked for it and I came here for my treat, so however you like to start, that is fine by me.” He said, throwing a punch to the face and shaking his hand as she stumbled and stopped, looking more offended than remotely injured.
“Really? Just sucker punch a girl? What a soggy cuckwad. You hit like a limp dick.” She huffed. “Still, there’s no way you took down a grown man with those little love taps. You’re holding back and going easy on me. I’m insulted. Commit, pick a lane, either don’t fight or fight for real. Also…DICKPUNCH!” she said hunkering down and uppercutting him in the groin, doubling him over and hopping around like she was a martial arts fighter. “Am I winning? This is easy.”
“Oh, you just fucked up.” He said, gathering his wits and trying to suppress the pain. He shook it off and was ready to do damage. He swung an unexpected kick and knocked her flat, stunned as she got back up, unharmed.
Vinn noticed a couple of men from Borren’s group getting up, and noticing their leader was missing. He sighed in relief thinking they just left, ruffling Nicole’s hair as he passed and traded her the broom for an empty mug.
“Go move some drinks, I’ll clean up.” He smiled. She hopped up, giving him a peck as he leaned over to her height. She filled some mugs and took them out as Tildy returned with coin and a slab of beef.
“Having a tolerable first night?” she asked.
“Fine so far.” Nicole smiled.
Stovac, followed by another man, snuck to the other side to watch the fight and fornication, and were both impressed to see Dee still standing and throwing return body shots. Boren knocked her over, and she bounced right up every time, seemingly without a care in the world.
“This is kinda fun. I see why guys fight now.” Dee huffed.
“Impressive little thing, but a deal is a deal and I intend to cash in on that. Never give a man a reason to win a fight.” He said, grabbing her by the neck and lifting her up. She planted her feet into his chest and with a sturdy kick, broke loose and sent both of them on their backs, Dee getting up faster than he did. He grabbed her, pulling her arm around her back and lifting her off the ground. She grabbed a handful of his hair with her free arm and yanked it out to the root as he let her go.
“Barely beat up an old man, can’t even beat up a little girl. Your parents must be proud of you. Daddy beat up girls too?”
“Don’t you dare ever mention them again.” He snarled, hate in his eyes suddenly. His face went from enjoyment to rage as he leapt on top of her, pinning her down by the throat. She grabbed his throat and, with a kick to the side, rolled over on top. Locked in a 2-way strangle-hold, Stovac rushed in, yelling at them to stop. Vinn heard the commotion, realizing he hadn’t seen Dee in a while, he rushed to the back, sword in hand, Nicole trying to keep up with his strides.
“Let him go.” Yelled Stovac, drawing a bow and aiming at Dee. “I won’t warn ya again, Missy. Let go.” He said firmly as Borren turned blue. He released the arrow as Nicole and Vinn rounded the corner, Tildy noticing the commotion as well. The arrow struck Dee in the back, and she released Borren as she arched and reached for it. Nicole swung her staff, knocking Borren out cold as Vinn tackled Stovac, pulling him into a headlock as he struggled pointlessly.
“Tildy screamed as the back doors opened, Nicole pulling the arrow from Dee’s back with a struggle as Vinn slowly twisted Stovac’s neck.
“Be still, Die peacefully. I am giving you the biggest mercy of your life. Be at peace knowing this will be quick and clean, because if I let you live, Gizzy will make this last for days, and your suffering will be unimaginable.” Vinn Said with a crunch and silence.
Vinn, Nicole, and Dee sat in a cell, as Gizzy barged through the doors and was ready to start a war. Silverback following behind her. A tall man in a priest robe blocked her path.
“Move fancy-ass, or I’ll go through your corpse.” She growled.
“There is no need for more violence. Please remain calm. Your friends are not to be harmed for this.”
“Someone shot Dee with an arrow, and I plan to kill him for it.”
“Your big dark friend already has. Stovac is dead, Borren is in care, but his injuries were significant." The robed man informed.
“I know how this works, people lie and we get blamed for shit we didn’t start because we finished it better. The trail will be unfair, and a rigged joke.”
“There will be no trial or punishment…walk with me." He said as she slowly let her grip loosened from her short sword, and she followed him up a spiral staircase of stone and wood.
"No trial?" Gizzy scepticized skeptically.
“Young Tildy claims to have seen the whole thing, and knowing Borren all too well, and his men, I have no doubts where the problem began. Choking a woman and shooting her in the back with an arrow is beyond their normal degree of mayhem, but not so far that I am shocked. What concerns me most is not the possible death of my nephew and his bastard friend’s absolute end, but your group's use of magic.”
“What magic? They started a fight, we fought back, and they fought worse. That’s called skill issues.” She bluffed.
“My nephew Borren is a prick, and he was bound to fight a man he could not best, over something stupid some day, but the injuries he took from a small woman do not seem natural, nor do her lack of her injuries and refusing to be seen by our healer. Your friend took an arrow to the back, and the raven haired one pulled it out, and not a drop of blood was spilled. During questioning, both Tildy and Stovac’s friend claims she did not so much as seem scratched, yet an arrow to the back at close range should have been fatal. The men who took the small one's staff were thrown to the ground by what they called, lightning from the earth. They called her a powerful wielder.”
“Might wanna check the bread. Ergot poisoning can cause some strange hallucinations.” Gizzy said as they entered the top room of the tower, above the jail.
“Young woman, you persist in denying your magic, yet we do not persecute it. In fact, this is a blessing. Magic is so rare these days, we hardly remember it exists until the gates must be defended. I know not where you come from, but it must be far if you know nothing of this.”
“LOL, young...Okay, fine, we’re all wizards…can we go now?” she asked, as he chuckled.
“We would prefer you stay, actually. This town is in need of much, many homes in need of repair, and we dare not hunt beyond the ridge where the territory fence lies. Our neighbors have stormed the town gates for very little reason. All for something we have, one piece of magic." He said, leading her to a dusty old throne, draped with a cloth. He removed the cloth to reveal a sword lying across it. “My sword.” He added.
“Nice craftsmanship, a little petite for my liking.”
“Well, this blade takes the form of the user’s choice. If you were to say…choose something of your liking, it may even fit your sheath.”
“Why? Why show me this?” she said, putting on her glasses and noticing the glow of the artifact.
“Because this sword is the town's only defense, and the fear of it wielded by a formidable mage keeps enemies behind that rather flimsy gate. In my youth, I was quite the warrior. In many ways the gate could be broken or destroyed, but this sword in my hands behind that gate, keeps them back. Fear. I am getting old, and my presence less intimidating. My son died long ago, I have no proper heir and the prick who was to inherent this sword and its responsibility, is now lying in a bed, broken and defeated by a young girl who withstood him and an arrow, and is healed by the lightest touch from your raved haired mage. So if he lives, and he may, he will be dishonored and likely never fully recover, unfit to fight, his many bastard children in other villages raised by harlots will not claim it, and one day I will lack the strength to stand at the gates with the sword. So tell me. Who are you, and what manner of magic have you brought with you. Honesty would be appreciated in exchange for your friend's release and no punishments given.” He said, raising an eyebrow.
“Okay, fine, but then you give me the rundown on this land and this magic if I do.”
“Agreed.”
“Dee and I are ironskins, both endowed with protection and strength.” she sighed.
“May I suggest a demonstration?” he asked. “Of you and your…sister’s power?”
“Lovers, not sisters. Do we even look remotely related?” she sighed, grabbing a broom and casually slamming it against her skull, breaking it and placing the handle half in her teeth, crunching down and snapping it like a carrot. “Satisfied?” she asked.
“Quite. And the others?”
“Nicole is the most powerful wielder of all of us. The staff answers only to her, and she can summon lightning, heal the near fatal, and see what nobody else can see, both in the dark and in plain sight. She knows things she can’t know. Vinn is big, he may look strong, but he’s actually twice as strong as he looks, and he can breathe in brimstone smoke like it was fresh mountain air. Silverback…well he’s…male. Kind of his only thing. He’s respected and…mostly just old. But his sword is fancy, if he can hang onto it.”
“This axe your lover was carrying…strangely heavy and blunt, a metal I cannot quite identify. She called it her gravity axe, and asked for it back. What does it do?” he asked, handing it to her handle wrapped in several layers of thick leather to protect himself.
“This.” She said taking it and turning the handle. With a flicker of hazy light, the dull axe grew 2 very distinct and large transparent edges, like light blue glass polished to a shine that grew from the blunt edge to razor sharp.
“You carry not one, but several magic weapons. At such rarity, you are either chosen, or stealing them from lands we do not know of. Such incredible thieves would likely have not been arrested or so passive in their arrests. So let me tell you a story, a mage of the land to a mage of a far land…”
“Oh, here we fuckin go with the monologue.” She sighed, pulling up a chair “I hope the readers don’t have to sit through this hour-long bullshit like I do.” She said, staring at the audience. "Screw it, we'll summarize and cut this later.