The Gang strolled through the caves, hunkering mostly, since the ceiling was designed for dwarves. Gizzy stood up, entering an opening, following the glow from her glasses to a large stone door with the symbol of the shield on it.
“Well, finding it was easy, so getting through is probably gonna be way harder.” Vinn said as they examined the writing.
“It’s Dwarven dialect, but the translator is struggling to figure it out.” Dee squinted. “I think it’s a riddle. There’s 2 slots down here for, I assume, keys, and a series of stone dials with carved pictures on them. What once was low and bloodlike red, has ceased to glow and high instead. Between the cusp of dawn and dusk, through Elvin hate and Dwarven lust, a child of royal-”
“Fuck this shit.” Gizzy said, drawing her sword. “I don’t have time to trace lineage and find keys, we got shit to do and people to de-alive. I hate riddles.” She said, hacking the hinged off the door, stepping aside as it fell and revealed the next room. “See? They never thought someone trying to steal the shield would have already stolen the sword. It’s like skipping levels in a game.” She shrugged as she made her way to the high wall where the shield was mounted proudly. A golden spiderweb of gilded pearls and rings adorned the tower shield, teardrop shaped and 6 feet tall. The foggy stained-glass of alien blue material glowed a rich cyan as it suspended across a wooden beam, anchored to 2 dark gray marble pillars. As she neared it, she felt a sudden wall of nothing in front of her, pushing back as she trudged onward in place. She took a swipe with her sword and successfully cleaved the nothing in half, accomplishing absolutely nothing in return and still unable to move forward.
“Yea, brute force is doing great.” Dee sighed, shaking her head.
“Well, it worked the first time, you do something spectacular.” She suggested. Dee drew her bow and aimed for the pillar holding the beam the shield was on. She released it, sending a laser bolt 3 feet left of her aim and directly into the center of the shield. The beam bounced and split between her and Gizzy, lasering a ten-inch hole in the stone behind them. She turned slowly with a cringe on her face and Gizzy giving her a glare of WhatTheFuckery.
“Sorry. Why did I get a bow, of all things!?” Dee barked as the room rumbled and the tunnel behind them caved in from the shock. Gizzy grabbed her and picked her up like a puppet, aiming the bow and repeating the attempt, except hitting the pillar and knocking the shield loose as Vinn darted for it, He grabbed the shield and locked his arm in, watching it resize slightly to fit his body.
“Dude…it’s got a screen display and like…crosshairs. Why does a shield have sights?” he asked. “And some kind of triggers?”
“No idea, but aim it the other way and see if it can shoot through that cave-in.” Gizzy suggested. He aimed and picked one of the two brass triggers, pulling it. The shield glowed, yanking a rock loose from the debris pile and drawing it towards him. He frantically let go, dropping the rock before it impacted. He looked back at the gals, slightly nervous.
“Wrong trigger.” He said trying the other one and pushing the massive rock back into the pile, lodging it deeper. “Okay, so apparently this doesn’t shoot anything, it’s like a Yeet-yoinker.”
“The hell does that mean?” Gizzy asked.
"It snags stuff and moves it. This trigger yeets and this one yoinks."
“Well, yoink the debris out, and yeet it over to the side or something.” She suggested.
“Do we assume it has brakes and will stop the yoink before it just crashes into me?” he asked.
“I’d assume it doesn’t just in case, but if you mess it up, at least you got that shield protecting you.” Gizzy shrugged snidely.
“Very funny but also, good point.”
“Technically we could all huddle under it and bow-blast our way back out.” Dee suggested. “Might be cozy, but if the shield can levitate and move rocks, we basically have a mobile roof and a mining drill.”
“Dee, sometimes your ideas sound really dumb, until I go to explain why they’re dumb and can’t find a good reason it won’t work.” Gizzy smiled.
“Aren’t we gonna be swarmed when we get back out?” Vinn asked. “You know everyone heard that, and it’s gonna get louder for longer. There could be hundreds of them waiting for us.”
“They’re dwarves. We’re 3 tanks, 2 biomech and one beef, all with God weapons. What are they gonna do?” She chuckled. "Dwarf us to death?"
Nicole rode down the road as if on horseback, ten feet in the air on a vivid blue dragon. Now adorned with gold and jewelry, her skunk stripe of white hair now larger and more prominently gray around the borders. She marveled at the seemingly unguarded city of Spirecrest. For something called the Gilded shore, it seemed rather humble and poor. The dirt road was quiet, say for the sound of people hiding in their houses at the sight of a dragon. The mountains formed an odd little series of flat circles, connected via central path, the second pocket of population noticeably more white and painted, homes less brown and mudded, more stone foundations and gravel in the road that extended to doorsteps rather than just dirt trailing from the road. She could smell the water now, the wind drifting the salty aroma of fishing vessels making the catches on Lake Crestfell she could see a glimpse of the water and boat sails as she reached a high stone wall, perfectly mortared and heavy stones painted white. There stood the castle, or rather a series of castles. Clearly, the nobles were better guarded than the town itself, unlike some kingdoms that walled the entire population. She heard the gallop of men and armor heading her way through the main gate, all wielding halberds and covered in gold to the point of weighing them down.
“Gilded shores, my tiny ass. I see where all the gold went. Inside the walls, where the nobles are.” She yawned.
“How dare you ride that beast inside the city.” hollered a guard with a pike.
“I do dare, actually. I dare very much. I’m here to send a message to the king. Can I talk to him?”
“An audience with the king is forbidden and must be earned.”
“Or I could just…fly up there and invite myself in. How do I know you’ll even send the message unless I'm there?”
“That’s up to my discretion. The king listens to MY voice, not yours.”
“Wrong answer.” She sighed.
King Uldor and his white witch rushed to the balcony as the screaming drew their attention and one of their top soldiers hung from one leg over the sea, a blue dragon hovering in place and a cute little smiling Nicole casually kicking her feet as if waiting.
“Hello.” She said with a wave. “Love your castle. So far I’m considering making it mine, but it’s pretty one note. needs more pink."
“Who the hell are you?” Uldor asked, as men filed out of the doors, taking knees and aiming crossbows.
“Yea, I wouldn’t do that. I’m protected and so is my dragon, but my magic doesn’t really help your man if I drop him. I’m Nicole, your new god. I’ve recently acquired 2 armies. Granted Ulferling’s army was kinda wiped out so it’s more like one army and some extra help. But whatevs. Dravenguard belongs to me, Ulferling belongs to me, and the red army is currently on their way to claim this one too, in my name, obviously. You see the pattern? You don’t even have a dragon, you guys are completely screwed. But unfortunately, it’s gonna take a while for them to get here. Dragons are way faster than horses, I may never go back, honestly. This is the way to go.” Nicole yawned.
Unauthorized duplication: this narrative has been taken without consent. Report sightings.
“You think I will simply-” He started in.
“Give up my kingdom to some girl blab la, the others said it already, lotta people died and here I am commanding 2 kingdoms and 2 dragons, and you got half the manpower, and no dragons. Also, I’m a god. I’m here with more of them, and they should be bringing me the last of the relics any time soon. Here, let’s make this less formal, you got any cold beer?” she asked, hopping 20 feet down from the dragon as it hovered. She strolled right up to him and stood on her tiptoes, her hat brim almost to his nose. “You know…people keep on doubting me because I’m small, and apparently they assume gods are all huge and men…like, what do the big male gods have kids with? Each other?” she chuckled. “So yea, I’m taking the world back and nobody is gonna stop me. You can slow me down a little, piss me off, get people killed. I did actually order Dravenguard’s army to try and take this place without killing everyone, but I can just take that order back and say burn it all.”
“I admire your boldness.” Smirked Uldor. “I may not believe you, but I admire the bold bluff.”
"That bluff is gonna look way less bluffy in about 4 days, that’s why I brought the dragon. If the red army gets here, and you already surrendered, then like…why kill anyone? If you’re shooting back then I…ughhh they gotta defend themselves, right? Damn, it’s a shame there are no rivers from here to Dyrecove. They have really fast ships. I took Dyrecove already BT-dubbs, that’s technically 3 armies, and counting. Let’s face it. I got the whole board, We even killed King Faeryn like a week ago, so his kingdom is probably pretty shook up.”
“Ah, and now I have found your lies. For Ahndra flies the night sky still.” King Uldor boasted.
“You get a close enough look to see she has no rider?” Faeryn’s head is in Dyrecove…with some of your dragon, actually. Oh, I should have brought you some of the meat. That was rude. Or the head. I just got so much going at once it’s hard to plan too many moves ahead. You know how it is.” she shrugged.
"With the king dead, Ahndra should die as well." the white witch noted.
“Yea I keep hearing that, but Ulferling is dead, I did that, and I got his dragons so, weird shit happens, don’t it? It’s almost like when gods get involved, your basic rules and beliefs stop working. Maybe you read the book wrong. Good thing I’m here to clarify what you screwed up and fix all this mess. So, you wanna do this the mess way with dead elves and towers knocked down and eeeuuuugh, I don’t wanna rebuild that. Or just give up? I’d let you have some land and gold, but I kinda promised King Hafth that he could try and kill you. Sorry, He was pretty insistent on that. BUT…hear me out. Didn’t promise I’d let him kill all your entire family. Really it’s just you he wants, and you know how he is, he’s gonna want to sword fight fairly. How good are you with a sword, this could work okay for you.” Nicole squinted.
Gizzy, Dee and Vinn sprinted full speed as a V pattern of hundreds of 3-4 foot tall soldiers chased them to their horses.
“How are they so fast with those stubby legs? It makes no sense!” Vinn yelled, lugging the shield on his back, taking arrow fire in the process.
“I think they’re either just really pissed…” Gizzy huffed, “Or they invented meth.” She finished, returning arrow fire, purely as cover, trying to hit in front of them and split the herd.
“This blows!” Dee complained. “I hate stealing from the nice people while the villains are out there ruining the world. Why aren’t we taking down kings?”
“Because kings have dragons guarding them, dead kings shifts the power balance too much with the weapons still floating around, and we can’t kill dragons without the gear. That’s the whole idea. If I knew killing a king would kill the dragon they control, or that they had dragons, I would have brought artillery and flight capability, but I thought this was gonna be a quieter heist and search mission. We were not prepared for this shit.” Gizzy replied as they hopped on horses and rode away, now finally leaving the dwarf tsunami behind them. “But you better enjoy the adrenaline rush because it’s a long ride to Dravenguard, and for the next few days it’s gonna be boring as shit.”
King Sophia sat in the back of a very large carriage as Ahndra sat quietly, almost curled into a ball. She felt the soft rumble of Gravestead’s army on the move, leaving the city nearly defenseless because she didn’t give a damn about the people.
“Just be still, Ahndra. I know you lust for blood and decay and hate being chained up, but we must keep you quiet. Your king was killed by the white witch, and soon you’ll feast on her flesh for vengeance, and we will both claim Spirecrest as penance for it. But for a few days, you must remain docile. Let your hate smolder deep.” She whispered.
King Hafth panted and chugged water from a canteen as his men lagged behind.
“Come now. We will rest when the sun is down. We must keep moving. The prophecy is true, the goddess demands our valiance and will. Spirecrest is a long ride."
“My king…we are tired and worn from battle. We do not have your royal blood and driven strength. The carts pull wounded and exhausted men, the horses will not last the ride if we press on.”
“Then we will rest for a day, but we must not disappoint our god. She has given us much glory, and promised even more.” He said, circling back to rest.
Nicole paced the guest quarters of Spirecrest impatiently.
“The guest house? Really?” she barked.
“Pretty great digs if you ask me.” Silverback shrugged, eating grapes and figs with his wrists still shackled.
“Nathan, I’m a patient God, but I demanded a kingdom, and they put me in the guest house as they deliberate? The insult is unbearable.”
“Nicole, you’re neither a god nor patient. You’re a nice mostly human slightly reptile girl from Earth that moved to an alien moon. You program and test computer games, and do medieval theater on the weekends. You got hooked on the power of that damn alien robe and turned into a real bratty little bitch. Sorry but you have lost your shit.”
“How can you say that? Look at me. I’m the main character, I’m chosen for greatness, favored by an overlord who humans worshiped and Delmarians still do in some locations. The only thing she has that makes her an overlord is power, and now I have more power than even she does, and when they bring me the other god artifacts, I’ll be even greater. I shouldn’t answer to mortal kings, and their whims. Those greedy fuckers rule their own people and the peasants by fear and murder, and I’ve conquered 2, basically 3 now without taking a single life. THAT is mercy and power. How dare they put me in the side-hoe shed while they secretly decide whether or not to bow to me. If I wanted to kill them all, I could, easily. I might. I won’t, but they don’t know that. They underestimate me. I need to bring the chaos, break some shit, FORCE them to a knee if I have to. Why don’t they understand anything but violence!”
“Do you see the irony here?” he asked.
“Look, I’ve had a rough life, I’ve struggled, I got one lucky break with Gizzy buying me a home and then what? I got tortured, stalked, cloned, killed, cloned again, put under lockdown and the one vacation I get becomes this bullshit mess. I just want what every girl wants. I want a nice quiet little castle where me and my husband can own a little land and some animals…and like obviously a dragon. I just want like, maybe a few dozen acres of farmland and critters to love and take care of, and they would need caretakers and farmhands, and I can’t manage that if I’m managing a day job too, so I’d need hired help and money, and I gotta protect my farm, so I’d need soldiers and places for them to live and have families too.” she rambled.
“That’s a kingdom. You want a kingdom. All you want for Christmas from Santa is just a humble little ruling class empire and enough of an army to make sure no larger empire poses a threat to it.”
“Exactly, you get it. I deserve nice things too. Vinn’s worked hard, soldier, construction work, arena battles, he deserves to relax too and have some peace, and we can’t have peace with war and nobody will stop fighting unless they’re on the same team. Think about it, Nathan. If it’s all one empire, nobody fights over being different nations and having different kings. All the kings work for me, so they just get along, or I replace them with people who WILL comply and get along. I’m trying to make things better for everyone!” she yelled.
“Except the kings, fuck them, right?”
“They’re assholes, that doesn’t count.”
“And the rich families?” he asked.
“They can share and take a slight loss for the greater kingdom. This king doesn’t respect me. He’s a prick. I have to take him down a peg.” She whined, stomping her foot. “But I don’t wanna kill him. What do I do to make him take me serious?”
“You landed in his kingdom and just demanded it as your own. Of course he won’t respect you. Nicole, you’re not a conqueror or a killer, you’re a quiet girl who wants a simple life. Take off the robes for a while, clear your head, let Gizzy get here and handle the politics. You’re clearly being affected by the chaos robes, the last thing you need is MORE power. Just wait, please, give her a few days to get the last item.” He said.
“Fine. But she’s not taking my dragon or my robes. We can split the world 50/50 if she can manage the warfare part. I’m not a greedy bitch, Nathan. I can share things. Even Gizzy can share things, hell she shared her girlfriend with YOU, she can share a whole world with me…I’m NOT the villain here.” Nicole barked villanoisly.
“Lotta villains say that, Nicole. Lotta villains think they’re the hero, and a lot of heroes get corrupted by power. You’re doing it right now. You have the power to stop, unless you’re addicted to it, of course. The best way to prove you’re not controlled by your addiction is to see if you can take a break from it. Take a break from the robes, see if you can.”
“I will.” She scoffed with an attitude. “Obviously not right now, they would kill us, so after we take over, I’ll stop for a while.”
“Sure you will.” He sighed, giving her a sad look.
“I’m NOT the bad guy, I just have a responsibility.” She pouted, feeling a slight fear in the back of her mind that he might be right, repressing it as quickly as it reared its head. “I’ll give her a few days.” She sighed softly.