For the Amor of the Night, Mitzi chose jeans, a green turtle neck and red striped Adidas. The outfit looked slightly like Christmas, but that was okay. It was after all the holiday season. Grandma Toady returned Mitzi to her mother while Lolly showered. After she got dressed she went to her room and stared at herself for awhile in her mirror. No longer did she avoid her face or her head. She wondered what Trevor saw when he looked at her. She knew what she saw when she looked at him. He made her heart catch. It skipped a beat and then went really fast. Would he still be around in six months? Would they get to go on a real date? Thoughts of a negative future started to cloud Lolly's brain. Now, she must focus on now. She ran her hand along her scar, she hadn't mustered the courage to look at. Not, yet. She turned from the mirror and went to the bathroom to pack her toiletries. Again, in the bathroom mirror she was confronted with her own reflection. She really needed to look at her scar. Everyone else would see it. Her over active imagination might make it worse thant it was. She picked up the hand held mirror and slowly turned. There it was. Fading red dots where the stiches had entered her skin and a dark pink line where the skin was mending. Doctor Dunn had promised that with time the scar would fade. He didn'tt say how much time however. With a sigh, she put the mirror down on the counter and went back to her room. She got her pillow and sleeping bag. The flip of the clock radio numerals told her it was almost time.
The trailer door opened and closed. Grandma Toady was back. Lolly knew she would be. Grandma Toady never sent her off without a hug or a kiss. Lolly went into the living room. Grandma Toady had already settled into the recliner with a quilt square. She said, "You look nice."
"Thank you. I'm going to wait on the porch."
"Okay. Zip your jacket, its nippy out there."
"Yes Ma'am." Lolly went to Grandma Toady and kissed her forehead. Her skin was soft. Her eyes met Grandma Toady's and they both smiled.
Grandma Toady said, “You have fun.”
Lolly said, “I will," even though she wasn't sure she would. Outside the air was getting colder. She pulled her hood up. Lisa's a little gold Ford Pinto was coming. It was fancier than the Pinto, Aunt Jessie had, but it was not brand new. When Ford named the Pinto, they named it after a horse, but most people thought they had named it after a bean.
The car stopped in the drive. Lisa rolled down her window and said, "Toss your stuff in the back seat." Lolly did and climbed up front. On Lisa’s eight track player, John Denver was singing, “I am the eagle, I live in high country..."* John Denver was her favorite singer. As Lisa drove away, they both sang with John. They knew every word to every song.
At the theater it was crowded. Lolly saw some of Trevor’s friends, but she avoided eye contact. Some of his friends she had known her entire school life, others were strangers she passed in the school halls. Lisa waved at the boys. One broke away from the group and headed toward them. Lolly knew him. She had him in several of her classes. His name was Jake Peterson. He ran cross country too. When he reached them, he gave Lisa a smile that clearly said, HELLO. He was definitely interested in her. Lolly felt her heart begin to sink. Would he join them? To Lolly's surprise, he asked her, "Have you heard from Trevor?"
"Yes."
"Good. I bet he needed some cheering up after that race." Did Trevor talk to Jake about her? A funny warm feeling grew inside of her. He asked, "What movie are ya'll going to?"
Lisa said, "The Other Side of the Mountain. What are you seeing?"
A slight frown of disappointment wavered on Jake's lips. He said, "Me and the guys are seeing One Flew Over the Cukoo's Nest." Lolly was so relieved.
The line was beginning to move. Jake said, "Catch you later," and went back to his friends.
Lisa roller her eyes heavenward and said, "He is so cute. But, God I would never go see THAT movie." Their line began to move. Once they were seated and the lights went dim, the adds played, the cartoon played, the previews played. Each was a step into the world where the movie lived. When the opening started, Lolly was a bit confused by the young woman in the wheelchair. She didn’t know anything about this film and she was not prepared for the time hop backwards.
Once the main character had been healthy and poised to be an Olympic skier and then, she had a freak accident that robbed her of her Olympic dreams and the use of all her limbs. It was tragic. Lolly, knew to a smaller degree what it must have felt like. There was something cathartic about watching a young woman have to realign her world when her life didn’t turn out the way she expected. There was also love and determination in the story. The love scared Lolly. Beside her, Lisa cried through the entire film. Lolly didn’t cry at all. Not even during the worst parts. She sat dry eyed, just feeling, but not emoting. After it was all over, Lisa was a complete wreck. Not Lolly. On the way to Lisa’s house, Lisa drove, sniffed, talked about the movie. Lolly nodded and commented when given an opportunity. Her take away from the movie was that life was unpredictable. She could live her life in the shadow of her Alopecia, or she could live her life with it. Going forward, she wanted to live with it.
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In the foyer when they were leaving, Lolly caught sight of Spence Drew in the ticket line. She quickly looked away. To her relief, Lisa did not seem to notice him. Spence Drew was the last person she wanted to talk about. Her hand brushed the back of her head. The scar was slightly raised.
On the ride to Lisa’s house they listened to the Eagles. The moon was just starting to rise. In the distance, she saw Lisa's house. It was a two story, but it wasn’t huge. Her father was a cotton farmer and a rancher. He was a real man of the land. When they came in, he was watching the ten o’clock news drinking coffee. His face was weathered by the sun. He nodded at the girls as they made their way up stairs. In Lisa’s room on her double bed was a white Persian cat. The cat opened one yellow eye, gave them an irritated glance and closed her eye. Lolly was instantly at ease. Lisa said, "That's Muffin. She is spoilt." Lolly wondered it Fluff cared that she was missing or if he was luxuriating in having the bed all to himself tonight.
Later when they were snuggled in their sleeping bags, Lisa asked, “So has Trevor asked you out?”
Lolly confessed, “He wanted to, but he’s out of town. I don’t know how I’m going to tell him I can’t date for six more moths.”
“Parents usually freak when their precious girl child goes out alone with a sex craved boy. Before I turned sixteen I could go out in a group. There are ways around that if you want to be alone. For starters, don’t sit with the group. Just because you came with people, you don’t have to stay with them. Viv ditched me tons of times. Funny how I never ditched her, of course I have never had the boy traffic she gets. When you got a sign on your head that reads, I am easy, well, you get a lot of action. I mean a lot.”
Lolly wasn’t sure what action was exactly and she was too timid to express her ignorance. Also, she had never been prone to gossip. She had been whispered about too much in her own life to partake of this pass time. Lisa continued to list her Viv grievances, and there were a lot. All the sudden she stopped, “I’m sorry. That must have been really boring for you.”
“No, its okay.”
“Really?"
Lolly nodded.
Lisa said, "Thanks for letting me unload. I’ve never said any of that out loud. Now, back to a topic of real interest. Tell me ALL about Trevor.”
Shyly, haltingly Lolly spoke, careful not to reveal too much. A part of her was very cautious with Lisa. Honestly, she didn’t know her that well and she wasn’t sure she could trust her yet. Trust had to be earned and that would take time.
Later, when Lisa was asleep, Lolly went to her window and looked out. All around were fields and pastures. If Pa did move Grandma Toady’s trailer onto Mrs. Dutchendorph’s property, she would have a view like this. The stars were so lovely in the sky. Peace settled over her. She went back to her sleeping bag and curled up. Where was Trevor and what was he doing tonight?
*
The next day Lolly was so groggy. Late night talking and sleeping on the floor had left her feeling out of sorts. Still, she had enjoyed herself.
Saturday evening when the phone rang, Lolly knew who it was. She rushed to the kitchen phone and answered. Trevor's voice said, "Hey Lolly." He sounded better. By the parking lot noises in the back ground he must be at another pay phone.
Lolly said, "Hey Trevor. How are you?"
"Better. It is crazy what sun light and waves can do. I've taken several long runs on the beach here and it is amazing . Also, looking at beach houses hasn't been horrible. As soon as I get my driver's license I'm gonna bring you out here. You'd love it."
Plans, he was making plans for them. Being raised by Grandma Toady, Lolly was more than slightly allergic to plans. So much could change or go wrong. Besides all that, Grandma Toady would never let her go to a beach house alone with a boy until she was of age, and that was two and a half years away. Fear crept into Lolly's brain. Grandma Toady had a lot of rules. How would Trevor respond to her restrictions?
Trevor told her. "My parents have found a house they like. They put a bid on it. We will be leaving first thing in the morning. Could I come over tomorrow evening?"
Lolly's heart went KATHUMP! There was a tremor in her voice when she said, "Sure. About what time?"
"Six, if that's okay."
She steadied her voice and said, "Yeah, that should be fine."
His voice dropped a little, "I can't wait to see you."
"Me too." Lolly couldn't wait. Her excitement had outdistanced her fear.
When she hung up the phone, Grandma Toady asked, "Was that Trevor?"
"Yes, Ma'am. He's coming over tomorrow evening, if that's okay."
Grandma Toady gave her an amused smile. "That's fine, but he's gotta leave by nine because you have school the next morning."
"Okay." Lolly floated back to her room. What would she and Trevor do for three whole hours? If it wasn't raining they would go for a walk. Would he kiss her?