There was darkness and loud words. Laughter echoed all around Lolly. She was running hard and fast. Her chest ached. Someone was coming after her. She could hear their heavy footsteps. Angry laughter echoed in the darkness. And then she tripped, and then a large hand grabbed her. She tried to scream but nothing came out of her mouth. She tried to move or fight back and she was frozen. The hand raised to strike her! Lolly woke up with a gasp. Her heart was racing and she was covered in sweat. She was breathing too fast. It was just a nightmare, just a nightmare. Even though it was it had felt real, still felt real. She struggled to slow her breathing down. In her arms was Fluff. He opened on green eye and snuggled closer to her. She rested her chin on his head. Moon light still streamed through the curtains. Its soft light had settle over the room casting everything in silver. Behind her she heard Grandma Toady’s soft snore. The sound of it anchored her. Now was real. Now she was safe. Against Lolly’s back, Mitzi was curled. Puccini’s head was smashed against Lolly’s spine. It was fortunate the bear did not need to breath air, because if he did he would have smothered by now. On the floor beside the bed, Max was soundly sleeping in her sleeping bag. She was so thankful things were good between them now. How long it would last, she didn’t know, but for now it was good and now was all she could manage right now.

If Lolly were in her own room, she would be reading to chase away the residue of the nightmare, but, she couldn’t do that in here, or she would wake everyone up. It was not a good idea ever to wake up Mitzi. If she did not exit dream land on her own, she was like a spitting angry cat with her fur all turned back wrong. Gentle means were needed to guide her out of sleep. Lolly took in more deliberate slow breaths. Her heart rate started to slow. The tight ball of anxiety in her chest eased a little. She tried to think of other things and for awhile she succeeded and then she would loop back around the Spence. At some point in time, she gained enough time between thoughts of Spence to tumble into sleep.

That morning, when she woke, she could not remember having anymore dreams but her sleep had not been sound. A strange anxiety settled over her. In the past only stares and words had hurt her. Until yesterday no one had ever intentionally hurt her. She had seen fights in the halls before, but never became involved and never stopped to watch. Violence did not interest her. It never had. Over the years she had stood up for Munch, but outside of a shove or a curse, no one had touched her. No one, until Spence. A shiver went through her. Where was he this morning? Did he ever regret his violence? What prompted him to be so awful? These were questions she would never know the answer to. One question would be answered though, How will I feel the next time I see him?

Mitzi and Puccini were still snuggled against her back. Grandma Toady and Max were in the kitchen. Lolly glanced at the clock. Max would be headed for the bus stop soon. Last night, she had meant to write notes to Trevor and Kevin, but she had never gotten around to it. Those notes would be on her to do list today.

Lolly eased herself out of bed and went into Grandma Toady’s bathroom. On the counter was Grandma Toady’s make up mirror. Lolly picked up and turned her back to the mirror over the sink. She had not looked at her stitches yet. Everyone else in the house had seen them, but she had not. Slowly, fearfully, she lifted the make up mirror and looked into it. She saw the back of her head. It was smeared with iodine over the stitches. The stitches. Little black slashes in her skin. It would leave a fine scar, a scar she did not want. The stitches were not as bad as her imagination had made them, but she felt a sense of grief. Strange how a person could take something for granted. Until this moment, Lolly had never realized that she was proud of the shape of her head and the smoothness of its skin. Her head was still the same shape, but the smoothness was gone. How many more scars would her body bear? She put the mirror down.

The front door opened and closed. Max must be headed for the bus stop. She was so glad she was not.

Later, in the kitchen after she had taken a shower, Lolly sat at the table slowly eating her toast. Pa was up. He asked, “How you doing?”

“Okay."

“Did you sleep?”

“Sort of.” She stared up at her father. In a few hours he would be on his way back to Louisiana. She did not want him to go. When he left, the safe feeling he gave her would go with him. She wanted to beg him not to go, but work was work and Grandma Toady had capricious spending habits so someone had to make money. He sat down at the table with her and placed his hand over hers.

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“I talked to my boss, last night. I got someone to switch with me tonight, so I won't be leaving until tomorrow.”

This was good news. Lolly felt tears of relief starting to form.

Pa gave her a lopsided grin. “I wish I could stay the whole weekend, but as your Grandma says, all we got is now. So lets have a good now okay, Shortcake.”

“Okay. Tonight will you watch The Waltons with me?” It was her favorite show.

“Done. I've been wondering what John Boy has been up to.”

Surprised, Lolly asked, “You watch The Waltons. I didn’t think you’d like a show like that.”

“I catch an episode or two, when I’m not on shift. Watching that show, when I know your watching it, makes me a little less homesick.” This was a confession he had not made before.

“You get homesick?”

“Yup. Always have.” He squeezed her hand and let go of it. He got up and poured himself some coffee. He told her, “If I can swing it, and it is a big if, I’m gonna see if I can’t get work in the industry a little closer to home. I don’t know if I will be able to, but I’m gonna try. Getting that call yesterday, all I could think of was what if I was out of town when this happened to Lolly? I don’t want to not be here when you need me. You are almost grown up now, and I have wasted a lot of time.” He took a sip of his coffee. His face was grim but determined. Would he find another job? If he did would he love it as much as he loved the job he had? Life and love seemed to be full of compromises.

After breakfast Lolly went back to her own room. Grandma Toady had put fresh sheets and blankets on the bed. Fluff thought she had done it just for him. He sat in the middle of the bed grooming his gold and white coat. Lolly climbed into bed beside him. He gave her a dismissive glance. He knew she was supposed to be elsewhere and the bed was supposed to be all his during school hours.

Mitzi came into the room dressed and ready for preschool with Puccini in her arms. Aunt Jessie would be there soon. She asked Lolly, “Are you gonna wear your pajamas all day?”

“I might.”

“I wished I could stay home with you. We don’t do much in preschool. I already know my letters and numbers and how to write my name. Some kids don’t. They don’t like it when I try to show them how. I get in lots of trouble for talking too much.” She rolled her eyes. “I wish Puccini could go to school with me. He doesn’t know his numbers. Poor thing. Granma won’t let me take him though. She’s afraid something will happen to him.” She glared at Fluff. “I worry more about him being here with that beast. He attacks Puccini every time he gets a chance and poor Puccini has to spend all day on the refrigerator, cause Fluff can’t jump that high. Stupid cat.”

Fluff completely ignored Mitzi, but he had an eye on Puccini.

Mitzi asked, “Are you gonna marry that Trevor boy? Mama said, he is loaded. I couldn’t ask her what it meant because of course I was listening when I wasn’t posed to be. What does loaded mean?”

“It means his family has money, a big house and acreage.”

“So, he’s kinda like the prince in Cinderella.”

Lolly was not thrilled with the direction of this conversation. “Not really.”

“Why not? I've seen his house from the road and it looks like a castle to me.”

Well it kinda did.

“Are you gonna dance with him and fall in love and get married?”

Okay, Mitzi had just moved into pain in the butt mode. “No.”

“Then why are you wasting your time. Granma told Mama, 'If a man ain’t worth marrying he ain’t worth spending too much time with.' Do you not believe that?"

There was no way Lolly was going to contradict Grandma Toady. She said, “Trevor is not a man yet and I am way too young to think about getting married.”

Mitzi gave her a look of shock. “I think about gettin’ married all the time. I want a husband. I picked him out already. He is name is Bernard and he sits next to me. He does everything I tell him to, and I like that.”

“I bet you do.”

Outside, Lolly heard Aunt Jessie pull into the drive. Mitzi said, “That’s Mama. Bye, love you!" She gave Lolly a peck on the cheek and ran out of the room swinging Puccini. Seconds later, Mitzi came flying back into the room. “Mama brought you a present!”

Aunt Jessie entered the room with a wrapped box. She smiled at Lolly and handed it to her. It looked like a shoe box. Lolly took it and opened it. Inside the box was a new pair of cream colored chucks. “Thank you!”

“You are welcome.” She gave Lolly a big hug, which was a surprise, because Aunt Jessie was not very demonstrative. She asked, "Mind if I borrow those sometime?"

Lolly grinned, "Not at all."

Mitzi looked took a little excited hop and said, "You are wearing those when you go back to school."

Honestly, Lolly did not want to even think about going back to school.

After Aunt Jessie and Mitzi left, Lolly reached for the novel, Up a Road Slowly, on her night stand. She had been so busy reading about Emily Dickinson and reading her poetry, that she hadn't had time to finish the book. This morning she would do just that.

She started to read. Within seconds she was in Julie’s world. Her own world faded completely. There was the usual rush of turning page after page, praying things would end well. Then, there as the last page. Slowly she read it. The ending was good. She loved a good ending. She closed the book. For almost two months, she had lived with these characters and now she had to say good bye to them. She was going to miss them. She put the book on her night stand and scrunched under the covers. She started to day dream. She imagined herself as Julie with her long lovely hair, and the character Danny Trevort, had a suspicious resemblance to Trevor Long.