“Fuck you, asshole!” shouted the short, balding man as he charged at me.

He raised a fist that was aimed at my face, and threw it with all his might. I deftly stepped out of the way in time and his arm met nothing but air. He stumbled and turned towards me, teeth clenched and eyes filled with hatred, wanting nothing but my blood.

“You’re going to make me late for my appointment, just take the punch like a fucking man! Mezzare charges late fees!” He shouted again.

“Why don’t you just go to your appointment then?! I saw nothing!” I shouted back at him. The name he mentioned sounded familiar, but I couldn’t put my finger on it. “Seriously, I’m having a really bad day too, so why don’t we both just fuck off?”

The balding man threw a flurry of wide punches. Avoiding the blows was simple with how he practically telegraphed the attacks. Jump to the left, move my head to the right, duck the wild haymaker. His fighting “style” was identical to people who weren’t sober, but he didn’t look or sound drunk. I’d seen plenty of people like that, and he wasn’t one of them.

My fists were raised the entire time and ready to intercept any blows I couldn’t entirely avoid. I was tempted to throw some punches of my own, but every time I had an opening, I got a better look at his face. There was something buried underneath the rage that threw me off. Something that made him look like he didn’t deserve it.

The man eventually put too much of his weight into his next swing, and as I dodged out of the way, he tripped on a small pothole and fell to the ground.

I winced at the sound of the impact. It was loud. I slowly approached him, my own fists still raised in case he was bluffing. But he wasn’t.

The man let out a long, drawn-out exhale, and with it, a sob. He breathed in and continued to wheeze. It wasn’t long before he’d broken out into tears and sniffles.

I slowly got closer. “H-hey, are you alright?”

He didn’t react.

Against my better judgment, I knelt down and awkwardly placed a hand on his shoulder. I moved it up and down, trying to comfort the man.

“Why Selene, why?!” He mumbled.

Selene? Was that his girlfriend or wife? Suddenly, I recognized the other name he mentioned earlier.

“Oh shit, you’re getting a divorce, aren’t you?” I asked.

“Mhm,” he sounded between sobs.

“Look, I might not know what that’s like, but I just caught my girlfriend cheating on me. You maybe want to sit down on the side and talk about it while we wait for the highway patrol?”

The balding man raised his head and looked at me with even redder eyes. He slowly nodded and sniffed.

----------------------------------------

“Selene, I thought I loved her.”

The two of us sat on the side of the road, waiting for the highway patrol to show up. Several cars slowed down as they drove by us. They ogled the strange duo, the snot-covered older man and the younger jittery one, and tried to piece together what had taken place. We didn’t pay them any mind.

“Yeah, it’s a horrible feeling, I know what it’s like to lose someone you thought you loved,” I said, arm wrapped around the man’s shoulder. He told me his name was Irving. “What happened to you? I caught mine cheating on me red-handed.”

“I found out she’s a stripper,” said Irving. “At the Golden Rail, I can’t believe it. I thought she was loyal to me.”

I nodded along sympathetically, though my show didn’t feel entirely honest. That wasn’t really my girlfriend who I broke up with, it was Mike’s. That raw, fresh emotion Irving was expressing wasn’t there for me. But I could still sympathize.

Stolen content warning: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.

“Seriously, I go in one day for my weekly lapdance and see her performing for a crowd, front and center! They were all throwing bills like she was their wife!”

I jerked my head towards Irving.

“Seriously, it was like she was some kind of animal, like she didn’t have any shame!” Most of his sadness had disappeared and he was beginning to sound indignant.

“Uh huh.” I slowly lifted my hand off of the man’s back. “And what about you?”

“What about me?”

“How’d she feel about you coming in to get a lapdance?”

“Eh, she’s also pushing for divorce, going with that other fancy firm that has a billboard right above the club. But how could she do this to me?!”

“Yeah, how could she?” I deadpanned while slowly nodding. My mouth was fixed in an awkward smile, and I didn’t dare drop it. Just like Irving only wanted to get to his appointment as soon as possible, I wanted to get the hell out of there just as fast. Starting another fight wouldn’t help.

Before Irving could continue his story, a faint siren broke the silence. It grew in volume until a police officer riding a motorcycle pulled up beside us.

“Oh thank god,” I whispered.

“Now what happened here?” asked the officer, pulling off his helmet and looking at us with a curious look. He had a head of black hair combed smooth and a handlebar mustache I could only describe as intimidating. “It looks like you two had quite a bit of an accident!”

“Yeah,” I said, getting up on my feet. “I’ve been having a really bad day and accidentally rear-ended him.” There was no point playing dumb when it really was my fault.

“No, it was me who was in the way,” said Irving, rising to join me. “I’ve also been having a horrible day.”

“Bad days, huh?” asked the cop. “What, did your girlfriend cheat on you? Or did your wife want to divorce you?” He let out a small chuckle.

“Yes,” we said in unison.

“Oh!” the officer’s eyes lit up. “Yeah, I know what it’s like too. I swear, it made me give up women for good! Well, I’ll write up the report and then you two can go.”

“Hold up, just like that?” I asked.

“Yup, just an accident caused by double relationship-related trauma,” the officer shrugged. “Pretty standard, actually. I’ll just write it in my report and your insurance should cover it without your premiums going up.”

“I think I can make my appointment on time if I go now, thanks officer!” shouted Irving as he jumped into his car and quickly drove away.

The sheriff let out a sigh. “I didn’t mean like that! I still need to see your license and registration. Man, he must be in a hurry!” He embellished his sentence with a dramatic eye roll.

“Yeah, he said he was going to meet with his lawyer. One of the ones there.” I pointed towards a collection of billboards in the distance.

“Mhm, that’d do it. How about you? Where’s a handsome man such as yourself headed to after losing your girlfriend?”

Whatever he was implying flew right over my head. “I’m going to the library.”

“Drowning yourself in books? Most people usually head to a bar! You’re pretty responsible.”

I let out a shiver. “Uh, thanks.”

“No problem. You know, if books aren’t enough, you should try revenge. You need to get back at that asshole who stole your girl by banging his girlfriend! That’ll show him. Or just skip the middlewoman and fuck the cheater yourself!”

“Actually, he ended up catching his girlfriend cheating on him partway through the act,” I dumbfoundedly replied. “So someone’s already got me beat there.”

“What goes around comes around. Well, if you’re still looking for that sweet, sweet revenge, there’s always option number two,” the officer said as he gave me a wink. “But if you are in need of some company to cool off afterwards, here’s my card. Give me a call and we can go out for drinks or something, maybe I can cheer you up? Here’s my number”

My eyes opened wide in realization. I nervously nodded my head once more as I accepted a slip of paper from the officer. What else was I supposed to do?

“Thanks?” I said again, this time much more awkwardly.

“Don’t mention it! But I’m only free on weekdays, I head down to Atlantic City on weekends to visit my family. So I’ll be catching you later, stud.”

After going back to my car to give the officer my license and registration, he walked back to his own ride and drove off, leaving me on the side of the road.

I slowly made my way back to the car and sat still for several seconds with my hands placed around the steering wheel in a vice-like grip. When I finally turned the vehicle on, I noticed a deep indent on the wheel’s leather. There wasn’t anything like that before.

I let out a long sigh as I drove towards my destination. “Whatever the fuck that was, at least it was better than getting shot.”