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Living it for the Plot
Chapter 16: Deal or “Stick your deal where the sun don’t shine!”

Chapter 16: Deal or “Stick your deal where the sun don’t shine!”

“This job is incredibly important, and I need to fill it in as soon as possible.” The apartment manager regarded me with a stern gaze. It was a funny sight, with his eyes completely obscured by his long, white hair. But the frown on his lips broke that illusion. This was serious to him.

I sat in his office. My right leg was bent and crossed over my left knee while my right hand was scratching my head. I didn’t know whether I should’ve been grinning or frowning at Hiroi’s request, so I did both. Who knew how ugly I looked, but the old man in front of me didn’t care.

“The housewives who live here get incredibly lonely with their husbands always working so late, they need someone to alleviate it.”

“So you want me to have sex with them while their husbands are away?” I asked. I tried to laugh, but the air escaped my lungs in a wheeze.

“Yes, exactly.” Hiroi gave me a solemn nod. “Toys are only able to do so much, they need real human interaction, an actual person on the other end, true love!”

“True love?” This time I was able to laugh, but it came out as a mirthless chuckle.

“When you’re having sex selflessly, for the sake of your partner’s enjoyment, isn’t that true love?”

I slowly blinked. Pinching myself felt very tempting, but I already knew this wasn’t a dream.

“Mike, I’ve gotten to know you pretty well from your interview and everything Eunice had to say, I know I can trust you with this! If not you, then those poor ladies would have to find or hire some random stranger off the streets instead! At least this way, I’ll know that they’re in kind and tender hands. Nobody will love them more than you!”

Something about his last line snapped me back to my senses. I put both of my feet down to the ground and leaned over with a frown. “Well what about their husbands? Do you think I’ll love those ladies more than them?”

“I’m sure those men love their wives, but they aren’t doing enough for them! I’m sure they would understand you-”

“Bullshit!” I shouted. “I saw how the last guy got chased out, the guy whose wife he fucked was out for his blood!”

“I promise you, that was a one-time thing. The husbands’ schedules are always known about from their wives and neighborhood gossip. The last guy was just a risk taker and got caught today. You’re careful and attentive, so there’s no way you’ll mess up.”

“But-”

“Besides, this apartment complex has some of the fewest visits by Domestic Dispute Mediators, so it’s one of the safest places around for this kind of job!”

“That’s not what I’m talking about, I-”

“And I know today was scary, so I’ll bump up your pay to $20 an hour, with plenty of extra for overtime on weekends and holidays! I’m sure you’d love to-”

“No, cheating is fucked up!” I finally shouted.

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The room fell silent as Hiroi looked at me. He swept his hair out of his face just long enough for me to see a pair of brown eyes frozen in shock.

“Well, what is it? What else do I have to say?” I continued. “Cheating is morally wrong, and I’m not going to do it!”

“Cheating is an inevitability,” Hiroi growled. “With the way these housewives are treated, they’ll do it anyway, whether it’s with you or some delivery boy. At least with you, it’ll be someone they can trust.”

“Well have they tried talking to their husbands about their ‘poor treatment’, then? Like fucking adults?! ‘Hey honey, spending time with you is more important to me than money, don’t work so much overtime.’ There, problem solved!”

“Of course they don’t, it’s not… that simple!” He looked a little woozy, but quickly recovered.

I scoffed and looked at Hiroi right where his eyes would be. “If they’re ready to cheat instead of fixing the root of their problem, then they deserve to be lonely.”

Hiroi stared back at me. I could feel his gaze growing cold underneath his hair. He spoke to me in a whisper. “You really did grow up sheltered. How will you make it anywhere in this world?”

“I… don’t know.” My voice faltered. I looked down onto the papers scattered about the old man’s desk. Everything that I could’ve asked for was laid down before me on a silver platter; high pay, an apartment the size of a small mansion, and an easy way to gain levels.

I didn’t want it. I already decided what I wasn’t willing to do, and if I pushed the goal post once, I could do it again. Fallacy or not, I didn’t trust myself on any kind of slippery slope. Not anymore.

Eventually, I rose from my seat and slowly made my way towards the exit. Honestly, why did I expect things to be so easy? With so little to my name,I had to find some kind of job now, and fast.

“Hey, where do you think you’re going?” asked Hiroi. His voice was softer than before, but tired. “I thought you wanted to work as a handyman?”

I slowly turned around and looked back at the old man. I pointed a finger to my chest and looked around the room to see if there was anyone else he could’ve been talking to.

“Of course I mean you! That was what the interview was for, wasn’t it? I’m sure that this job won’t offend your sensibilities.”

“I was… I mean I am, but I thought you wouldn’t want me here?”

“Mike, let me tell you something.” The apartment manager let out a sigh. “I’ve been in this business for a long time, and I’ve learned that you don’t let go of good people. New generations always think differently than the old, and yours is no exception. And while we might not see eye to eye on this one issue, I see that you care for what’s right in your own way, just from a different perspective.”

“With how I think cheating is wrong?”

“With how you care about the husbands. You’re not a bad person, Mike, and I would love to have you as an employee.”

I looked around the room, my eyes falling on the various pictures covering the walls. They featured all sorts of families standing in front of their apartments. Sometimes there were guests amongst them. Usually, the wife would have a hand placed on their butt. Oftentimes, it was the husband.

I turned back to Hiroi. “So it really is an inevitability, then.” It wasn’t a question.

He nodded back at me.

I felt something in me crumble. Calling it my ‘faith in humanity’ would’ve been too hyperbolic, but it felt more like how much of a shit I gave about the world around me. At the end of the day, how others lived their lives really wasn’t any of my business, was it? I was still me and I was still living life the way I wanted to. Sure, just seemingly abandoning everyone else left a sour taste in my mouth, but at the same time, who was I to demand everyone live the way I wanted them to? As long as they didn’t force it on me, things would be fine. I let out a sigh. “If the handyman job really is just that; a handyman job, then I’ll take it.”

The old man smiled at me. “Then it’s good to have you aboard.”