I rode the high from my legendary stunt all the way back to my apartment, my car windows pulled down so I could feel the wind in my face, the midday air smelling of ozone and victory. Parking my car in my designated spot, I strutted to my front door, twirling a keychain on my finger. I was king of the world, the baddest motherfucker there ever was! Until I was interrupted by a soft hand lightly tapping my shoulder.
“Mike! You’re back home early!” came a cheerful voice.
My body froze stiff as I slowly craned my head to see who it was. “H-hey Eunice.”
“Did your boss give you the day off? I know you’re such a hard worker and deserve it.” She looked at me intently, and I immediately knew what she wanted. But her expression was mixed with apprehension and embarrassment, like she didn’t want to have to be asking me.
I felt a crack in my confidence. Her slightly aging face broke at it further, and the way her smile genuinely reached her eyes made me reach into my pocket and slowly pull out my last paycheck. I handed it to my landlady.
“Perfect, this should let you catch up on the last two months of rent! Thank you so much, Mike.”
“Yeah, no prob- wait, two months?”
“That’s right, you’ve been behind on rent for two months, so this check should cover it all perfectly! And don’t worry, I can cash it in for you so you don’t have to worry about going to the bank!”
“Uh yeah… thanks.”
“Don’t mention it, sweetheart,” she said with one more warm smile and a deep sigh of relief before turning around and heading for her own apartment.
I didn’t have the heart to follow her or say anything else. She looked too happy to get the check for me to want to take it away from her.
“Oh by the way,” she said, turning around. “There’s also your utility bills. You’ve been pretty far behind those as well, but I’m not in charge of those. I just hope the company will also be patient and give you enough time to pay them back too.”
I nodded back in response. Without another word, I slowly dragged myself towards my apartment without another thought in my head. Only when I was finally inside, I slammed the door and let out a minute-long held breath.
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The storybooks from the library littered my apartment, some piled on my desk while others were thrown haphazardly across my couch, kitchen, and bedside table. It was the only mess in the otherwise plain home. The rest of the place was almost completely empty except for the now-useless romantic gifts. Fancy soaps, scented candles, and some horrifically cheesy valentines day cards filled Mike’s closet, all of them without purpose.
“Dammit, Mike!” I shouted in frustration. “Why couldn’t you spend your money on something useful, like your fucking bills?!”
A light thumping sound came from the floor, along with a muffled shout. I immediately shut my mouth. Oh right, I had neighbors, I just didn’t think any of them would be home this early in the morning.
I quietly paced around the apartment, gathering the library books in my hand, and dropping them all on my couch. I took a seat next to them and began flipping through each one, looking for some idea on how I could make some money off the System.
But first things first, I needed to set myself some ground rules. I knew I needed money, like two months ago, but there were some lines I wasn’t willing to cross. I wasn’t a scumbag, so I wasn’t going to use the System to scam people or steal from them. Also, I wasn’t going to prostitute myself or pimp anyone else out. That just wasn’t me.
So, what did that leave me?
I shrugged and dove into the books.
So the System granted me two types of benefits; Attributes and Skills. Attributes could be applied very broadly to my actions, while Skills had to be used more specifically. Too bad my numbers in both were so low, what was I supposed to do with those?! The protagonists in the story books all spent time leveling up before they did anything big. And most of their leveling was done by just living their normal lives.
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I’d love to do the same, but I was more likely to starve to death on the street before I became a demigod if I kept up my current “normal life.”
Hold on, maybe I could find a job that would let me pay my bills and let me focus on leveling up? Charisma seemed like the most useful tool I had, with the greatest versatility in a normal, everyday life. I could use it to convince my boss to give me a promotion, get out of a speeding ticket, or even get a date with a girl way out of my league!
But what kind of job would let me level that up? Maybe something like sales? But with my qualifications, I’d have to work as a telemarketer or something, and I already ruled out being a scumbag. Besides, hanging around those kinds of clowns all day would send me into a murderous rage, with [Detect Cheating] pinging me every second.
But this entire world was filled with cheaters, apparently. I’d caught… 9 cheaters red handed in the two days I’d been here, which is way too many to call it a normal occurrence, and I’d probably catch even more wherever I would go. How the hell was I supposed to live like that?!
I closed my eyes and let out a deep breath. My mind’s eye turned inwards to where I remembered feeling the sensation the Skill gave off. After several moments of searching, I found it; a metaphorical switch. I forcefully pulled it, and could feel something change inside, somehow knowing that [Detect Cheating] would bother me no longer.
I let out a smile. My second genuine one since I got here.
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I spent the next couple of hours thinking of alternative career choices, without much luck. The storybooks weren’t much help either, the few that covered their protagonists’ rise to power only describing them doing exactly what I wasn’t interested in.
Eventually, I began to grow hungry and made myself a TV dinner for lunch. And what good was a TV dinner without TV? Besides, I deserved a break after how hard I was working! What started out as a half an hour allotment turned into a full hour, then two, and then four. It would’ve become eight if it weren’t for a funny little thing.
The TV went out. And so did my lights. My entire apartment was draped in pitch black, no doubt a memento of my overdue electric bill. If that wasn’t a sign I needed to get back to work, I didn’t know what was.
I opened the blinds and began to read, wracking my frazzled brain around the very serious problem.
Eventually, the sun began to set and I was once more left in total darkness. Intent to not be outdone by my bad luck, I decided to turn one of Mike’s mistakes into a solution. I fished out several of the scented candles from the closet and placed them on the table. The soothing scents of cinnamon, lavender, chamomile, and lemon wafted through the air, forming an utterly horrendous smelling amalgamation.
Thankfully, I only gagged once. Ok, maybe twice. But my lunch stayed in my stomach!
I pushed through the odor and continued reading, trying in vain to eke out any bit of inspiration. Eventually, I was forced to stop when I noticed I was reading through the pages at a snail’s pace, despite each of them only holding at most thirty words. My stomach growled something fierce, and I knew I wouldn’t be able to continue without something in me.
I shuffled over to the freezer and pulled out another microwave meal, before realizing the terrible truth. It was a microwave meal. I didn’t have any power. Well, maybe there were some oven-based instructions instead? Yes, there were! I pumped my fist in victory as I made my way over to the kitchen and turned the device’s knob all the way over to 425 degrees, before going back to my books.
When I returned after several minutes to put the meal inside, I realized that the oven was still at room temperature. I carefully looked inside, and saw that its roof was lined with a series of coils. In fact, the range had a quartet of electric coil rings where I would expect burners to be. The entire thing was electric!
I was at my wit’s end. The banks were all closed at this hour so I wouldn’t be able to withdraw whatever was left of my savings, and Mike, in his infinite wisdom, didn’t own a credit card. And it wasn’t like I had a girlfriend whose place I could crash at for the night. In fact, I didn’t have anyone I could turn to… except-
No. I wasn’t going to take advantage of Eunice like that. I wasn’t going to, I wasn’t-
Growl
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I softly knocked at the door and waited patiently.
It creaked open, revealing a slightly older woman hosting a concerned frown. “Mike? What’s going on?”
“Hi Eunice,” I replied awkwardly. “So the power’s gone out at my place, and I can’t even cook myself dinner. Do you mind if I use your microwave?”
“Not at all! Please, come in!” she softly exclaimed, opening the door all the way. She was wearing a long night gown that hugged her curves, all of them.
I gulped and nodded, stepping inside. “I also brought an extra meal for you, if you wanted. And some scented candles as a gift, since I had some spares.”