We walked the checkered halls of the trapped mansion. I was looking around for monsters, but it seemed the only danger was the absolutely excessive amount of traps there were. We’d been exploring for the better part of a day and were sitting down outside where we thought the boss room would be. We both thought the “boss” in question would be a dungeon core—a magic stone that kept the dungeon running in absence of a boss monster.

“We should really think of forming a party—like others are doing,” Lawrence said.

I scoffed, shaking my head as I finished the sandwich and pushed my helmet back down, “Who’s going to want to join us? We don’t prepare at all, go into dungeons as soon as we can get to them, and never stop to rest. Besides, they’ll conflict with my interests. I’m looking for loot, remember?”

I swallowed thickly, standing up. Looking around, I saw that the hallway we were in looked the same as all other hallways in this confusing maze of a mansion. The only difference between this hallway and all the others is that almost all of the portraits held those monstrous humanoid things within them, whereas others in other halls had various torture devices and weapons shown.

Lawrence frowned, scrambling to his feet, packing up quickly with his sandwich only half-eaten, his words muffled as he spoke through the sandwich hanging from his lips, “I’m certain we can find people who would love to delve with us!”

“Dive, and no,” I said, walking away.

“Delve is a better term,” Lawrence said as he hurriedly packed up his blanket and rushed after me, just barely preventing me from stepping on a trapped tile as I walked up to the fancy double doors in the otherwise mundane hall.

“Why? It’s called dungeon diving, in video games,” I muttered.

“Delving sounds more professional, and it’s more widespread now than diving, since there’s no confusion with aquatic divers out there,” Lawrence refused.

I gave him an incredulous look, “Dude if aquatic divers still exist they’re all suicidal! Besides, what do you call someone going into a water dungeon? They’re wearing scuba gear.”

Lawrence sighed, “Delving divers?” He guessed.

I scoffed, shaking my head as I opened the doors, not paying attention, “No way in hell.”

Click. I took a step back, panicked, only for my entire body—clothes and all—to turn bright neon pink the moment my foot left the red tile. I looked down at myself.

“What… the hell,” I complained, looking up.

At the far end of the room, on a throne, was a man with electrified black hair that stood on end, their eyes glowing the same color as my entire existence, right now.

“Why?” I asked tiredly, putting my hands on top of my head, “Why would you do this? Throw a spear at my face instead—why am I pink?”

“If you’d paid attention to the floors like I keep telling you to you’d not be pink right now,” Lawrence said quietly under his breath. He groaned as my elbow found its way into his stomach, falling to the ground with his arms wrapped around him.

“Sorry, what was that?” I asked, turning to look at Lawrence, “I don’t think I heard you over the eye-bleeding brightness of my entire fucking existence right now. Could you repeat yourself?”

Lawrence didn’t respond, reaching out and closing the door with another groan. He stood up, leaning against the door with a sigh.

“Fine,” Lawrence waved, crossing his arms, “You seem to have this handled. Good luck.”

I scoffed, turning. The creature—looking much like the ones in the paintings—was resting on his throne, gaze focused on me, cheek resting on his fist. His lips twitched up.

“Enjoy your travels,” The boss monster drawled, his deep voice silken and very pleasant on the ears, making me relax subconsciously.

I huffed, throwing up my arms, “Neither of you seem to have faith in me! I’m not that unobs—“ I was cut off by a log trap being set off, hitting me in the back and sending me careening forward.

Explosions shook the room, and I groaned at the feet of the boss monster. Up close, he looked only barely inhuman, the horns, eyes, and sharper teeth being the only differences. He even wore a dark gray pinstriped suit, his tie red, and his button-up white. A polished leather shoe nudged me.

“You were saying?” The man asked.

I groaned as I pushed myself up onto my knees, looking up at the man, “You remind me of my boss,” I complained, “What even are you?”

The man’s lips twitched, “I’m a demon—specifically, the Lord of the demons. I presume you are not some one-eyed cyclops and are, as your partner is, a human?”

I stared up at the man, “No, that really does track. My old boss was definitely devil incarnate. You should meet him sometime. I bet you’d get along well with him. He, too, would set up stupid fucking traps on a dumbass checkerboard.”

The Demon Lord chuckled, his lips twisting up pleasantly, his white teeth shifting into a grin. Despite the sharpness of his teeth, it was still charming. I tilted my head. What, was he an incubus or something? Why did I find everything he did attractive? He wasn’t even close to Davis in the looks department—though he was significantly better than most, I supposed.

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“It’s a chess board,” The Demon Lord corrected, shifting to lift his head from his fist as he leaned forward, forearms resting on his knees as he looked at me, “If you play a game of chess with me and win, I’ll grant you any one wish.”

“With infinite retries and no more pink?” I asked.

The Demon Lord’s lips twisted further upwards, “Should you wish to use your wish to remove your curse, I would not be opposed.”

I hesitated, “Can you even grant any other wish? Aren’t you stuck here?”

The Demon Lord’s amusement faded, and he sighed as he leaned back, “Yes, unfortunately.” He flicked his fingers, a chessboard appearing next to him alongside another chair, “I can make anything appear within the dungeon, and I cannot control anything outside of the dungeon currently—though if I’m sent back to Hel, that will change.”

I got up, slumping into the seat opposite the Demon Lord, “So can I phone a friend for this game, or…?”

“No,” The Demon Lord said, “Your friend will not be able to help—and even if he could, it would be against the rules. After you set off every trap within the room all at once—an impressive feat, I assure you—a barrier appeared around this throne. Without magic, I daresay he cannot get close. I hadn’t expected you to make it to the throne so quickly, either.”

I sighed, staring at the chess board, already struggling despite nothing having happened yet, “Lawrence, how much food do we have? A weeks’ worth?”

“About a month,” Lawrence sighed out, kneeling and taking his blanket out as he called back, “If he can grant you any wish, shouldn’t you wish for whatever you’re searching for?”

“Oh! That’s a good idea,” I agreed softly, turning to the Demon Lord, “Don’t suppose you can magically cure all mental or maybe soul-deep ailments?”

The Demon Lord’s lips twisted, “Unfortunately not. My expertise is in corrupting the mind and soul, not in healing it.”

I shrugged, realizing that I was, in fact, white. In chess, anyway. I was currently bright pink—I checked. My skin was bright pink.

“Then I have no other wishes outside of not being pink,” I muttered with a heavy sigh, moving a pawn forward.

Only four moves later, the Demon Lord hummed, shifting his horse and knocking over my king, “Checkmate.”

“Fuck, what? Already?” I complained as the chessboard reset. I sighed heavily, as the Demon Lord—now the white—moved his pawn. Seven moves later, I died.

Five games later—all taking place in less than half an hour, I sighed.

“Lawrence, I think I’m going to starve to death before I win. You should leave, get a “Chess for Dummies” book, and come back,” I called out, looking to the side.

Lawrence glanced up from his book of probabilities. His hand reached up, knocking on the door.

“The door’s locked until he either accepts our surrender and lets us retreat or he dies,” Lawrence called out.

“Once you leave my throne room, you will not be able to return for thirty years,” The Demon Lord hummed out, leaning back, “Do feel free to leave at your leisure.”

I hesitated, leaning back and meeting the Demon Lord’s eyes through my pink-tinted visor, “When will the pink wear off?”

The Demon Lord shrugged, “Around two hundred to three hundred years, give or take. Not all that long.”

I hesitated, “That’s double or triple a human’s lifespan,” I complained, moving a pawn forward, “Fuck, I really might starve.”

“As I said earlier, you’re free—.”

“I’m not leaving until I’m no longer pink,” I interrupted sharply.

Five hours later, Lawrence yawned, “Being pink isn’t the worst. You can always put on different clothes.”

“Bro I am neon,” I refused, sighing as I leaned back. Maybe I could distract the Demon Lord and get him to make a mistake? He seemed quite content to keep playing, “So, since we’ll be here until I die of starvation or get lucky, why don’t you give me your life story?”

The Demon Lord chuckled, moving his pawn to capture one of mine, “I would rather not, as I have my secrets to keep. Why don’t you tell me your darkest secret? I will share my own with you.”

I hummed, thinking as I moved another piece, “My darkest secret? I don’t really have one. I’m a pretty open individual. How about you, what’s yours?”

“Equivalent exchange is not your forte, I see. Checkmate,” The Demon Lord said, killing me with his queen.

I sighed, looking at the board, “You’re asking for an exchange of something I don’t have. How about deepest regrets? What’s yours?”

The Demon Lord shrugged, “Being caught by the Drowwe.”

I barked out a laugh, “Yeah, must be boring, stuck here.”

“Very much so,” The Demon Lord agreed, “So, tell me, what is your deepest regret?”

I glanced up, feeling like not answering wasn’t an option. Before I could lie, I started coughing, though. Eventually, I managed to speak.

“Letting the twins go,” I eventually said, taking a deep breath, “Fuck, talking with you isn’t fun, is it?”

The Demon Lord’s chuckle was pleasant, “Once a deal is made with a demon, it must be completed. Had you died in your attempts not to answer, I would have consumed your soul and gotten the answer in that manner.”

I hummed, shrugging, elbow on the board as I stared at the game I was already two plays away from losing, “I wasn’t trying to lie. I guess I’m oblivious in more than just a physical way.”

“Yes, that seems so,” The Demon Lord agreed, “So, tell me of your boss that I remind you of. Does he have a name?”

“Yes, he does,” I agreed easily, fist slamming into the board as my King died again, “FUCK!”

A bang caught my attention, and, glancing to the side, I realized that Lawrence had jumped at my shout that echoed in the large room. I sighed as I saw him rubbing the back of his head, looking back. I was white again. I moved the third pawn from the left forward.

About a day and a half passed, and I slowly—excruciatingly—improved at chess. This was not at all what I expected when dungeons appeared, I mused bitterly. I expected fun fights where the weaker monsters infinitely respawned. That wasn’t at all what happened! I got friendly boss monsters and overpowered infinitely respawning monsters that would leave and kill everyone!

Why were the boss monsters all easier to kill than the first-floor monsters?! That was ridiculous!

“Checkmate,” The Demon Lord said.

I looked back at the board, sighing heavily as my head thunked down onto the board. Damn it. Would I actually be trapped here forever?