Goblins.

Relief filled me at the sight. Creatures about half my size huddled around three separate bonfires in a giant cavern. There were some tepees around made of leather and very large spider-parts.

My eyes stared at the giant thin spider-leg with a harrowing realization.

The spiders we’d run from, the ones about the size of Lawrence, their bodies about four feet long? Those were baby spiders.

I looked up. In the distant darkness of the roof of the cavern, just barely visible, was the reflection of firelight. I shivered, head shaking violently at the thought of the size of the spider.

Was that the boss?

Looking down, I took a closer look at the seemingly fearless goblins. They were small, the size of children but much wider, like what people presumed fantasy dwarves would look like. That was where the similarities ended, though, corded muscle everywhere on thin snot-green flesh. It didn’t look like any animal or human’s muscle, it looked… Primitive?

The strong-looking muscle connected different segments on each limb, not wrapping around the bone so much as connecting the bones to each other. Looking around, I didn’t see any big weapons. Or any weapons at all, actually.

As the grotesque facsimile of a humanoid figure gestured around, I saw why, each thin hand covered in unnatural muscle only carrying four clawed fingers. My nose scrunched when I saw that they were fully-jointed claws, same-colored talons instead of fingers and nails ending at the tip.

Their noses were long and hooked, looking broken multiple times.

Their teeth occasionally flashed, catching the light, and they were very sharp-looking.

Great. The enemy wasn’t exactly known for being strong, though I had a feeling these creatures were still stronger than I was.

The small tunnel that curved continued for a few feet. There weren’t any torches, so I felt safe in going around the corner to better see the room.

Was there a way to tell if something was a boss-room or not?

My steps were careful, and I stayed close to the wall. Glancing around as more and more of my view opened up, I saw there were actually five bonfires going. They were in a specific pattern, the fire in the middle the biggest, an x being made with the fires from this angle.

Next to each outer fire was a bigger tunnel than the one Lawrence and I were in. I stared around, sighing lightly when I saw the only big tunnel that looked fancy and officious was almost directly across the cavern from us, on the front-left of the central flame.

The others just looked like big tunnels, but the one I focused on had an archway with fancy letters in an unknown script on it, occasionally pulsing with a gentle blue glow.

My steps took me out of the tunnel, and I stayed in the shadows, walking along the walls and looking up sometimes. I didn’t touch the walls of the giant cavern, seeing a weird texture that I was certain was the giant spider’s webbing.

Slowly, carefully, I ran from shadow to shadow, looking at the goblins more.

Their gross gagging noises seemed to be their language, and I kept special attention to their clothing. Most wore simple furry rags that didn’t look soft enough to be anything except a baby spider’s carapace, a dirty white rope that I presumed were spider silk used to keep everything together over their chests and crotches.

My footsteps were silent and my breathing even as I crouch-ran, using the flicker of the flame to shift along the shadows.

I felt kind of awkward and anxious at my own actions. As if keeping low would prevent me from being seen, right? I was just copying what I saw in video-games, I had no idea what I was doing.

The goblins shifted and cackled in a gross-sounding way as I stalked along the shadows, focused more on them than where I was going.

These were magical constructs?

With VR, I thought I would be prepared for something like this, but… Damn. Damn, this was real. These were actual goblins!

Eventually I crossed the entire room, about to walk into the archway before hesitating. In boss-rooms in games, wasn’t there a barrier of some sort preventing the players from leaving?

I stared at the pulsing archway, then just decided to look into the room. Thankfully it seemed well-lit, an angry red lighting up the room within.

Something giant shifted within. My mouth gaped open as I stared up at the behemoth of a spider. There were weird straps running along its body, and as I finally looked all the way up to see its head, I saw something goblinoid that was riding it, looking much, much bigger than the goblins behind me.

A giant, what, orc? Ogre? Troll? A giant goblin-like creature that was at least a story tall, riding something that was at least a story and a half tall. The spider’s individual thin legs could span the length of a football field, I noted.

I backed away from the archway, half-sprinting half-stealthing my way back to Lawrence.

Stolen from its original source, this story is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

Distracted by the firelight and blinded by the light, the goblins didn’t notice me. I went into the cavern I was certain I left Lawrence, relieved when I saw him where I left him.

I walked into the darkness, sitting down across from him.

“Wh-what’s out there?”

“So,” I started, “We have two options. Option one is to defeat the boss monster and his mount. Option two is to defeat every monster aside from the boss monster and his mount.”

“His… mount? You saw the boss? Was it a giant spider?”

“No. It was a giant goblin. The mount was a spider, though.”

Before I could continue, Lawrence spoke, interrupting me, “Compared to all those giant spiders? Killing just one would be great!”

“Um… Both were the size of a building,” I mentioned casually, “Which, I mean… Let’s just say that those,” I gestured toward the infinite darkness to my left and Lawrence’s right, “Are baby spiders. As in the smallest they get.”

Silence echoed out loudly in the tunnel.

“A story? That’s not… too bad…” Lawrence said faintly.

“Their bodies. Their legs are, uh… the spider is about three football fields wide. We have a metal bat and, like, our fists. Personally I vote for the tiny creatures that are the same size as us. Two against an army is better odds than David against the Goliath.”

Pale, thin, spindly hands covered the tall man’s face, “We’re going to die.”

“Well… Maybe,” I agreed, “Honestly though I think there has to be a limit to how strong and smart they are. They’re magical constructs, all of them. If we use guerrilla tactics, like, they have to run out of memory eventually.”

Pale hands shifted, fingers parting as eyes turned black through shadow focused on me, “They’re magical constructs? The spiders and goblins?”

“Yes, absolutely,” I agreed. I had full faith in the Lich. He had no reason to lie when referring to the army of skeletons that he hated.

Lawrence had his knees pulled up, and he rested his arms against them, hands hanging loosely as he stared blankly down at the floor. He was evidently thinking hard, and I took that moment to crawl forward and grab my phone. I turned the flashlight off, looking at the battery.

92%.

I was very glad I had no battery-tanking apps installed, no matter how boring it would be here without games on my phone.

“I… I think I have an idea,” Lawrence said slowly, gesturing at the light, “Is there fire?”

I nodded, “Yeah. Five bonfires,” A sudden idea came over me, “I think it’s what’s keeping the adolescent spider away from the goblins.”

“That’s what I was thinking, too,” Lawrence agreed, though I haven’t told him about the medium-sized spider on the roof of the cavern, “I think if we use fire, we can burn through the spiders.”

I thought about it a long, long time. We had nothing but time, here, after all. I hummed quietly.

Silk wasn’t very flammable, was spider-silk any different? Silk kind of just smolders, doesn’t it? But this was magical spider-silk. Maybe it went by different rules? Or was it magical fire?

…

No, no, I didn’t think so, with the smoke that filled these tunnels.

Or, wait, smoke! Were they suffocating the adolescent spider? That would mean that no matter how afraid of fire it was, it would have to either come down or suffocate. Or, no, was it like bees? You smoked the spider to pacify it? It would be chill?

Hm… Maybe I should tell Lawrence what I meant when I said “adolescent spider”.

“Here, come on. There’s a torch here, but there isn’t one in the tunnel. I think we’ll remain uncaught, just be quiet,” I stood up, reaching a hand out.

I felt no need to crouch after seeing that Lawrence only managed to get to my height when doing so, and we both carefully and quietly sleuthed to the exit of the tunnel.

Gesturing up, I looked at Lawrence. He looked up for a very, very long time. Several confused looks later, I shifted back. He followed.

“What were you trying to show me?” He asked in a hushed whisper.

“I think there’s a spider on the ceiling,” I mentioned, speaking as quietly as I could with a helmet on, “There’s a reflection of firelight way up above, like maybe off of eyes or something. Let’s look again, if you don’t see it maybe I’m just being paranoid.”

We did, once more standing in the dark of the tunnel and looking up. Lawrence’s gaze was focused and serious, looking determined with the glow of fire in his gaze.

In spite of being a shrill screamer and kind of pathetic, he still hadn’t cried or fully broken down. A very admirable thing, that he wasn’t too annoying to deal with.

I must have gotten lucky, many normal people wouldn’t be able to think beyond panicking in this situation, I don’t think. I don’t know, did I count as normal? I’m pretty sure my boss and Shawn would do just fine, too. Scott definitely would, I mean even the “weak hearted” Steven would be just fine, though I was certain he’d be pale and shaky.

Jerry missed his days of war, so it was a no-brainer that the janitor would love this situation. Oh! Maybe he had weapons! We could ask him for help!

Enthusiasm for the next dungeon filled me even as I looked between the glitter of light on the ceiling and Lawrence. I pulled out my phone, writing a note.

[Title: IMPORTANT

Subject: Ask Jerry for help, he was ex-military. He might have weapons we could use.]

The note was saved to my phone, and I turned my screen off, putting my phone away as I looked at the goblins. None of them looked our way, but I noticed that from the three non-boss-room giant tunnels goblins frequently came and went.

They were bringing firewood.

Wouldn’t that run out eventually? Then this entire dungeon would be overrun by spiders…

A shiver ran down my spine. Before I could think more on the untimely demise of the goblin-species, a hand tugged on my sleeve.

Glancing over, Lawrence was quick to drag me back to the partial safe-zone we’d found.

“You’re right, light is reflecting off of something. Are you sure it was a spider, though? I didn’t see any movement…”

“Do spiders usually move when they’re on their webs?” I asked hesitantly.

Lawrence thought, shaking his head as a hand ran through his already-messy hair, “I don’t know. I don’t think so.”

“… So, do we go off of the assumption that there’s a giant spider on the ceiling or do we hope and pray there isn’t?” I asked, glancing at the firelight.

Before Lawrence could speak I shoved him against a wall, covering his mouth.

A shadow got closer, gagging noises and a guttural moan that was a bit too close for comfort came from the goblin. The large pointed ears on the sides of the goblin’s head looked like spears in the shadows.

Lawrence and I were dead silent as it walked in. In its hands was a torch. When it turned, I could see its eyes. They were the color of blood, no pupil or iris to be seen.

My heart hammered in my throat, having leaped there the moment the goblin turned the corner.

Both Lawrence and I were frozen.

What luck.