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I came across this poem I wrote last year. My mom is not doing well. Every day I am loosing a bit more of her. I am doing my best to be present in the moment. I am so thankful for the life my mom and I have shared. It was not always an easy or pleasant life. There were some really tough times and some relationship snarls to over come. The thing I am most thankful for is that my mom and I have kept at it. I have learned so much about her these past two years. Her being in hospice in a nursing facility has made me slow down and listen harder and better. I don't know how much longer it will be before I no longer physically hear her voice. I wish I could say I cherish every moment, but I don't. It is hard to watch someone I love so much sink deeper and deeper into her illness. I am taking things one day, one moment at a time. I am not alone in this journey. I have my daughter, my husband and friends. I also have a good therapist that is helping me to navigate the process of dying. Hospice has a chaplain and a social worker that keep tabs on my mom and on me. I am thankful for each one of these people. Still, it hurts, and I am having to learn how to live with the hurt, with the discomfort of being present as my mom's life journey nears the end. I choose to be there. This is not a choice that came or comes easy. It's hard. I get to be with my mom right now. I get to make this journey with her. And I am grateful.

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