As a child, art, creating was a kind of magic…in adolescence it was still acceptable behavior. The move into adulthood was a bit traumatic because…art for art’s sake is not practical. It is not a job job. So, I began doing shows with my art, trying to get my words published, trying to make that all important thing called money. And what happened at shows and in responses to my submissions? My work, my time and my investment in myself was rejected and/or criticized. I thought, well I must grow tough skin. I remember going to a book signing and telling the author that I wrote and I was growing alligator skin from all the rejection. The smile she gave me was weary. The truth is I have never grown alligator skin. I tried really hard, but alligators aren’t known for their kind and tender hearts. For me the effort to grow such skin stunted me creatively. One day I thought, this is not working for me, and it wasn’t. So I stopped. I accepted alligator skin was NEVER going to grow on me. I had to find a different way. I wanted to love creating the way I once had. It took time, but I finally managed to get back to creating magic. I have earned a little money with this approach, but it isn’t practical or life supporting financially. It is however spirit supporting, and soul supporting. The process is the part that matters most. And I love the magic of the process. Yes it is tedious at times and hard at others. Still I’d rather be comfortable in my skin, than be protected by an alligator exterior.
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