“Misao Darlian.”

Echo Creek Academy’s Principal, Edwin Bonner-Skeeves read aloud on the Swiss passport he’d been handed. He looked up at the red-to-orange haired girl who showed up unannounced at his office with the two students starting today–twins tall enough to make him think their last name was appropriate.

“Yes?” Misao’s smile radiated infectious cheer.

By stark contrast, Principal Skeeves cut the perfect image of a stern, intimidating authoritarian as he glowered at the three teenagers standing across from his desk in his office. The balding, bespectacled, and large middle-aged man lowered the passport onto the table and sighed.

“As I understand it, you’re one of those e-celebrities, right?

Dipper and Mabel both looked at Misao as she nodded. “That’s right, I stream myself playing video games.”

Principal Skeeves raised his eyebrows, skeptical of the notion. “That’s a thing young people do?”

Misao beamed. “Ja, it’s worked for me.”

“Evidently. There were rumors about you going to school in Beverly Hills and living with the stars of Our Family.”

“Again, ja. I was going to be staying with the Haleys as part of the student exchange program.”

Principal Skeeves nodded. “So you’ll excuse me if I’m a little surprised to find you here trying to enroll at my school instead. Did something happen with your exchange family, or with the school you were going to?”

“During the weekend I got here, there were circumstances I could not control. For the sake of my original host family and the school I’ve decided to transfer elsewhere.”

“It’s nothing dangerous or a potential liability, is it?”

A menacing Shego loomed large in Misao’s mind, green energy manifesting around her clenched fist as she grinned. “Oh, hardly anything like that!”

He looked at the Pines Twins. “And you’re now staying with these two?”

Dipper became wary of the Principal’s tone. “Is that a problem?”

Principal Skeeves looked down at an open pair of manilla envelopes, containing the academic records of Dipper and Mabel Pines.

Exceptionally high marks in the STEM courses. Above average marks in physical education. Poor marks in Global Studies, extremely argumentative with teachers. Seditious conspiracy theorist, punish heavily to eliminate independent thinking.

He glanced at Dipper with a raised eyebrow, before looking at Mabel’s file.

Good general student across all courses. Liberal and free-thinking, suspected drug user. Will bring a pig to school. Bar her from Audio/Visual equipment and call police immediately if she is filming on school grounds.

Well at least he knew who he was keeping his eyes on this year. “Dipper, can I call you that? I have enough problem students and I’ve been informed in advance of your reputation. I’ve also already heard about your confrontations with the Vanderhoffs.”

Dipper wasn’t going to make any excuses. “It is what it is.”

“I’d appreciate it if you didn’t antagonize them, their family’s donations fund Echo Creek Academy’s extracurricular events.”

And lets them get away with whatever they want, Dipper thought to himself. “If either of them antagonizes me, I’m throwing them in garbage cans.”

Principal Skeeves liked Dipper. Unfortunately, the financial situation of his school mattered more. “I’ve got my eye on you.”

Mabel leaned against her brother and pointed at him. “This guy? You don’t have to worry about this guy! Mabel’s here to keep him on the path, and bring fashion, fun, and flair to Echo Creek Academy!”

“Oh no, I’ve got my eye on you too–no video cameras. Ever.”

Like a switch, Mabel flipped. “Whatever those philistines at Piedmont High School told you is lies and slander! I had permits and the fire department was on standby!”

Principal Skeeves looked at the police report included in Mabel’s file that disputed her claims. “Whatever you say, Miss Pines.”

Mabel shook her fist to the heavens. “I will sue their pants off!”

Misao looked at Mabel, surprised that one of her episodes would cause such a response. “I’ve seen every episode, which one was this?”

Dipper leaned close to her. “Guide to High School Mascots.”

Recognition dawned on Misao’s face. “That was the funniest episode.”

Dipper gave Misao a nervous glance. Seriously, what is with German humor?

“Right, then.” Principal Skeeves looked at Misao. “Misao?”

Misao looked at him, hopeful. “Ja-ahem-yes…?”

“You still wish to enroll here at Echo Creek Academy, effective today?”

“That is right!” She said eagerly.

Principal Skeeves stared at the vibrant girl, throwing herself at his mercy with a bright smile. Shaking off her indignation, Mabel gave two thumbs up with a brilliant, encouraging smile of her own.

He removed his glasses, before wiping and replacing them on his face. “Well unfortunately, I cannot allow you to just attend classes. If you can prove you legally live with the Pines, you can have a parent or guardian fill out the registration.”

Misao pulled out her phone. “You have Venmo, correct?”

“Yes, it’s under Edwin Bonner-Skeeves, with a hyphen between Bonner and Skeeves,” he said before continuing. “After that we’ll need a copy of your transcripts from your previous school either faxed or mailed to us with your medical records, including your immunization history.”

“Right, is ten thousand euros fine?”

Dipper did a double take towards Misao.

“Of course,” Principal Skeeves agreed. “You will also need to take an aptitude test that will determine your placement in the school if you get in-”

Misao tapped her screen a few times. “Sent.”

Principal Skeeves phone chimed, and the man brightened. “And welcome to our school, Miss Darlian. We’ll have your schedule printed out, your books ready, and your locker combination as soon as possible.”

Dipper looked back and forth between Misao and the Principal. “Whoa, what just happened?”

“The broken and corrupt system that benefits the wealthy,” Mabel said.

Principal Skeeves transferred his money to his bank. “Yes, Mr. Pines, pay attention.”

Dipper looked from him back to Misao and Mabel. “Just like that, though?”

His sister nodded. “It’s how Star enrolled.”

Dipper opened his mouth to protest such corruption, but remembered the Vanderhoff boys went here too. “Huh, okay.”

“For the time being you may shadow your housemates,” Principal Skeeves signed a piece of paper and handed it to Misao. “Just pass this note to any teacher who asks questions.”

Misao read the school pass and nodded. “Ja, dankeschön.”

Principal Skeeves was more preoccupied with the things he was going to buy off the internet with his newfound windfall. “Bitte. Now if there’s nothing else, you may go to your classes. Have a good day, all of you.”

The story has been taken without consent; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.

The three left the Principal’s office and went out into the High School’s main hallway. The school’s breakfast period was almost over, and students were traveling back and forth to get to their classrooms. Stopping a little bit away from Skeeves’ door, Dipper shook his head. “Ten grand just like that? Are you going to get in trouble for spending that money?”

“Do not worry, it’s still less than a Beverly Hills Private School.” Misao had a point, so Dipper set that worry aside.

“Well, I hope at least you get what you pay for.”

She grinned and hugged Dipper’s arm. “Oh darling, I’d pay my weight in gold, and it wouldn’t be enough for the time I spend with you.”

She was coming on too strong for Dipper to just let that one slide. “If you’d pay that much for this…?”

He took off his lumberjack hat and ran his fingers through his messy brown hair, flicking it free to make it wilder. He looked down at her, with a dangerous, charming smirk. “Then I’ll give you the VIP experience.”

Misao’s face warmed enough to turn a shade of pink. “… Oh my… ah…”

Mabel tittered at Misao’s surprise. “Dipper can be smooth as silk when he wants to be.”

She took Dipper’s hat and squashed it back on top of his head. “Don’t let it fool you though, he’s still a giant turbo-nerd.”

He laughed. “And proud of it.”

Further down the hall, Roland and Jo entered the building from the school’s cafeteria, on their way to class. In his hand, Roland held a foil-wrapped breakfast burrito that he was going to enjoy in class, while Jo walked with her hands in the pockets of the jean shorts she wore with a bright red t-shirt and her baseball cap flipped forward.

Roland looked at his friend, specifically her hat, and slowly shook his head. “Did cuh say why he was skipping out?”

“Probably because he’s feeling too sorry for himself to haul himself out of bed,” she replied without looking up. “He spent all day in his room yesterday, why wouldn’t he today?”

Roland lowered his head just a bit. “He was good at the shop, what happened?”

“What do you think happened? Something got in his head, and he fell a-freaking-part.”

That left Roland seething. “So what’s got you all messed up, cuh?”

Jo glanced at him from under the brim of her hat. “Because Andrew thought he could take his damage out on me.”

“And now you’re paying it forward,” he sarcastically noted.

This time, Jo turned her head to look up at him. “He’s the one acting like the world’s gonna end and it’s our fault.”

Roland glowered back at her. “You know he’s got self-esteem problems.”

She looked away with a snort. “If you’re so worried about him, you go join his pity-party. I want to be in a good mood.”

That wasn’t in the cards today. Looking ahead, she saw Misao hugging Dipper’s arm and fawning over him with adoration. The color drained from her face for a brief moment, before her expression shifted to a simmering stare.

Roland paid no notice to Jo’s shift in expression and waved with his burrito. “Ay, whassup?”

Mabel lit up and looked over. “Roland! Jo!”

Jo tilted her head up, an aloof look on her face, and gave a subdued wave. “Hey.”

“Guten morgen,” Misao, still holding onto Dipper’s arm, gestured to her hair with her free hand. “I dyed my hair for class, it’s good, ja?”

Roland smiled. “Aight, I see you, coming with your colors correct.”

Jo looked at the girl’s dye work and shrugged her shoulders. “It’s fine, I guess.”

“So, you guys good?” Roland continued.

“So far? Not bad,” Dipper answered. “We just got out of the Principal’s office.”

Roland and Jo both had heard about what happened by the buses. “Because of the Vanderhoffs?”

Dipper dismissed Roland’s worries with a wave of his hand. “Nah, he wasn’t too bothered by that.”

Mabel pat Misao atop her head. “We were getting Misao enrolled.”

Roland brightened. “Already? Don’t that take a minute?”

Misao struck a pose, winking as she held the V sign over her opened eye. “Ja, it didn’t take much for me to get in!”

“At least not as much as a Private School,” Dipper muttered, and Misao laughed.

Mabel noticed someone missing. “Where’s Drew?”

Jo let out an audible snort. She looked off to the side as Roland answered. “Cuh ain’t feeling it, so he dipped to pull himself together.”

Mabel gasped. “Oh no!”

“Is he okay?” Misao asked.

“It’s all good, he’s just got some shit to work out,” he assured them.

“Does this happen often?” Dipper asked.

“Yeah. It does.” Jo replied, the edge of her voice cutting deep.

Dipper looked at Jo, then at Roland, who shot her the quickest glare. I’ll ask Roland later.

“Well, if he’s up for it, we can talk to him after class,” he suggested.

Mabel gasped. “I know! I should make him a card! I think I can pull one off before lunch.”

“Good idea,” Dipper said.

As Mabel brimmed with excitement over making the best cheer-up card ever, Roland asked. “So what classroom are you guys in?”

It was as good a time as any to find out. Both Pines looked at their schedules and Dipper answered. “It says I’m in Room 108.”

Mabel pouted. “It says I’m in Room… 111…?”

The two looked at each other and spoke in unison. “… They split us up.”

Jo suppressed her elation that she’d be in class with Dipper and looked at them both. “You’ve never been split up before?”

Mabel shook her head, her pouty lips quivering. “No, never… the perks of being twins, you know?”

Dipper nodded. “Yeah, we’ve been in every class together since pre-school. It’s going to be weird not sitting next to my sister.”

Jo huffed. “I wish I could be in a different class from Drew.”

“Are you twins?” Misao asked.

Jo shook her head. “Not really, but I was born literally nine months after him.”

The idea of that surprised the heck out of Dipper and Mabel. “Wait, really?” The former asked.

The latter was impressed. “That’s so weird.”

“I should be in a lower grade, but I do so well that they just moved me up a grade to save on paperwork.”

Roland gestured to Jo. “She may not act it, but she’s probably the top student here.”

“Excellent praise off the backhand, Roland,” Jo snapped back at him.

Roland turned to the twins. “Anyway, 108 and 111 have gym and lunch together, so you won’t be apart for too long. Star, Marco, and I go to class 111, and Drew, Jo, and Heather are all in 108.”

“Oh, that’s not so bad, then!” Mabel said, before she looked over at Dipper–then at Jo eyeing him. Oh, oops.

Dipper tried to ignore the redhead chuckling in the back of his head. To his sister, he smiled, and placed a hand on her shoulder. “It’ll be okay, Mabel, just focus on making a good impression.”

Mabel giggled. “You know for a fact that I make…”

She cleared her throat and spoke like a slightly more girlish Dipper. “… Amazing impressions.”

Dipper’s smile held. “Never do that again.”

“No promises.” Mabel hugged him. “I’ll see you at lunch!”

As Dipper returned her embrace, she whispered in his ear. “And don’t you forget that Wendy put up with you.”

“You don’t need to tell me.” Pulling back, he gripped her shoulders and nodded. “When you take over the school, don’t start right away with mandatory dance parties, okay?”

“No promises there either, brokozuna.”

“And that’s why going to school with you is the best.”

Jo rolled her eyes, writing this off as a twin thing. Oh well, at least I’ll have today to hang out with Dipper until Drewbbie Downer comes back and ruins everything.

Misao joined Dipper’s side. “I’ll go on with Dipper to room 108, so he’ll have a bit more company on his side.”

Jo did a double-take. Oh, come on! Just what I need, the Euro-thot hanging all over him.

“You sure?” Mabel asked.

“Ja! I’ll take good care of your brother.” She pulled Dipper along. “Class is almost starting! Let’s go introduce ourselves.”

Dipper let her lead. “All right.” He looked back at Mabel and Roland. “See you later!”

“Have fun~!” Mabel cheered.

Jo reached up and adjusted her hat and followed without a word of goodbye to either Roland or Mabel.

Mabel and Roland watched them leave. When they were out of earshot, she looked at him. “Jo’s in a pretty squirrelly mood herself today.”

“You have no idea,” Roland said with a sigh. “I’m sorry in advance.”

Mabel began walking to class. “Don’t worry about Dipper, he can handle her.”

Roland kept up with her. “I hope so.”

“He’s got experience in this sort of thing; he was a huge mess with his first big crush.” And Mabel on all of hers, but this wasn’t about the mistakes of her youth. “When it’s all over, everyone will be older and wiser for it.”

“She just has no idea what she’s doing. I don’t think she was ever into guy who wasn’t’ 2D until he got here.”

Mabel shrugged her shoulders. “Please, we’ve dealt with people who had no chill and Jo doesn’t come close.”

“Oh yeah? What’s someone with no chill in your book?”

@@@@@

“I will destroy him!” Trip screamed in the school’s faculty parking lot, to the gathered audience of his brother and Dudley.

He punched the side of the family car, hot tears running down his face. This would not stand, Pine Tree and everyone he was associated with were going down–especially Andrew McCormick and Marcel Diaz!

“Dexter! Mark this down!” Trip commanded.

“It’s Dud-”

“On this day, at this moment! I swear upon the Vanderhoff name that I will have my revenge! Andrew McCormick! Pine Tree, Marcel Diaz, and their loser friends will be at my feet–on their knees! I will take everything from them! Their friends, their families, their homes! Even the clothes off their backs! I will own them, and when they have nothing left and beg me for mercy? I will say no and cast them into the darkest pit I can pay people to think of!”

Van never saw his brother this angry before. “Uh…”

His voice cracking and splintering, he shrieked. “I AM NOT GOING TO BE TREATED LIKE THIS! BY THESE PIECES! OF GARBAGE!”

Van looked around nervously, hoping there wasn’t someone skulking around with a camera looking for more junk to smear them with. “Trip, you need to chill.”

“Chill? CHILL?! How can I chill when everyone keeps taking shots at me, huh?!” Trip pounded on his own chest. “People were laughing in our faces, like they don’t know who we are! How am I going to be chill after that, numbnuts?!”

He turned away and let out a shriek that rose into a high squeal.

Grabbing his brother before anyone heard that, Van shook him. “Hey! We'll get them back! You just gotta, I don’t know… see this with a cooler head!”

Dudley, who wished he could just burst into laughter without consequence, cleared his throat. “Master Van’s quite right, sir. Revenge is a dish best served with careful preparation, not screaming and flailing.”

Trip whirled on him. “What would you know about revenge, Donatello?!”

The old man held his tongue a little bit harder than usual, and just imagined a day when Trip and Van would both be on fire. “My apologies, sir. Nevermind.”

Van rested a hand on Trip’s shoulder. “Hey, bro… bro… listen. We can’t go like this all crazy! They got Star Butterfly on their side. If we get caught out going after them? We’ll get our butts kicked and turned into newts or whatever!”

Trip hated it when his brother was right. “… I’m not letting this go!”

“I know, and I have an idea. How about we do what Dad does when there’s people he doesn’t like in his way, but can’t have them sued or arrested?”

Trip sniffled. “Hitmen are expensive, though.”

“Well, not a hitman, but someone who hits?” Van smirked. “I happen to know a guy who hits pretty hard too.”

Trip’s interest piqued. “Oh yeah, is he good?”

Van chuckled. “Nah, in fact he’s a bit of a… dud.”

Trip frowned for all of a moment, before he caught what his brother inferred. “Heh… hahahaha… even a dud should be good enough for Pine Tree. Let’s make it happen.”

He looked at Dudley. “David?”

“Dudley, sir.” The old chauffeur repressed his grimace at Trip’s twisted grin.

“Get me a briefcase full of money and some waivers.”