On Monday afternoon, Sensei Brantley’s Dojo was livelier than usual, with its students gathered around the Bleachers to all get a first-hand account of the chaotic scene that descended upon Echo Creek Park yesterday morning. It was the talk of the town, indeed the entire city of LA was talking about the supposed fight between monsters and armored warriors that ended in a bright flash that rattled the neighborhood and could be seen for kilometers.
“… Despite Sensei’s best efforts to keep him from getting beat up, he and Marco were suddenly surrounded on all sides by Scabs. Typhus and Snake Head had them dead to rights, and that would’ve been the end of it, if they hadn’t made one fatal mistake.” Jeremy explained to the crowd of students surrounding him. Brantley had gone next door to get smoothies, and the class was awaiting his return.
“What happened?” A girl close to his age asked.
Jeremy tightened his black belt and smirked. “They thought I was a pushover.”
He struck a fighting stance. “The moment the Scabs got within reach, I wrecked one with an uppercut and took down the other with a flying ax kick.”
In a flash he performed the moves described. “The other Scabs forgot all about Sensei and Marco and came right for me.”
The same girl gasped. “Weren’t you scared?!”
“Nope!” Jeremy oozed smug from every pore as he tilted his nose up. “I’m a black belt after all, it wasn’t a big deal.”
Another of the students, Hunter, rolled his eyes. “Bull. Marco could probably take on all those Scabs by himself, but you? Nah.”
Jeremy turned to face the other student. “Nuh uh! Marco spent like five minutes being chased around by the snake, I told you that! Sensei had to actually save him from it!”
He shot Hunter a dirty look and turned back to his younger peers. “So, you know, I’m styling all over the Scabs because I’m so small and quick, right? But then Typhus grabs Sensei and says he’s gonna kill him if I don’t stop beating up his dudes. Marco just kinda breaks down and says ‘please, don’t kill my sensei!’ and he’s about to cry like this big stupid baby, when all of a sudden the Beetleborgs–the real Beetleborgs–show up out of nowhere and they just start blasting!”
“The Beetleborgs aren’t real,” Hunter chimed in.
“Yeah they are!” Jeremy shouted.
Another younger boy spoke up. “My Uncle was walking his dog at the park, and he saw the Beetleborgs there, too. He thought it was costumes, but they started shooting stuff and he ran away.”
“See? I told you!” Jeremy turned his nose up. “Sensei will tell you what happened when he gets here.”
He wore his nasty little smile. He’s gonna make sure our stories lined up nice and tight if he knew what was good for his dojo.
“So anyway, the Beetleborgs show up and they are just so cool shooting the Magnavores and stuff. Reddle and I even teamed up against Typhus and sent him flying into the lake!”
The child who spoke up for him gasped. “Cool!”
Hunter sighed. “You’re gonna look so weak when Marco gets here.”
Jeremy grinned and turned to face Hunter. “Yeah right. Marco quit.”
Hunter looked down at Jeremy, in disbelief. “No he didn’t.”
“He totally did, Saturday.” Jeremy let out a cocksure laugh. “So that loser won’t be showing up around here ever again.”
“Marco… quit?” The tone of the girl who’d been so wowed by his story poured cold tap water on Jeremy’s fire. Looking around at the other kids, he could only see disappointed or distressed faces.
“So? It’s just Marco. He wasn’t even good.”
The same boy who argued for the Beetleborgs being at the park shook his head. “What? Marco was the best.”
“Yeah,” another of the kids gathered to hear Jeremy’s story said. “He’s like the strongest of the big kids.”
“He’s been a Green Belt longer than most of us have been here,” another kid pointed out.
Jeremy gestured to his belt. “So? Hello~! I’m a black belt? I’m better than him.”
Hunter’s laugh was sharp and biting. “No you’re not.”
“What about the times where I beat him?”
“Marco’s not going to go all out on a little kid.”
“Yeah, and you cheat.” Another student said.
Jeremy gasped, like his good name had been sullied. “Well, what about the time he had that Monster Arm he almost killed me with?!”
“You’ve been using brass knuckles in your gloves way before that,” Hunter said.
Jeremy’s face flushed red with anger. “Nuh uh!”
Hunter turned away and snickered. “I mean, you couldn’t win any other way against Marco.”
Jeremy stomped up the bleachers and grabbed him by his gi–yanking him around to face him. “You really think that loser is better than me?!”
Hunter slapped Jeremy’s hand away. “I’m better than you. Because you’re eight, and I’m fifteen.” He got up. “But if Marco’s really gone, then I’m gone. I came here to learn karate, not babysit a spoiled rich kid.”
Jeremy recoiled as Hunter began walking down the bleachers. Seething, he shouted after him. “Go ahead and quit! You should be happy you got to train under the same roof as me!”
He looked at the kids closer to his age, and found they were all now glaring at him. “The heck are you looking at?”
The door opened and Sensei Brantley walked in, carrying trays of drinks. “Students! I have come bearing smoothies!”
He stopped when he saw Hunter heading towards the door. “Mr. Rodriguez, is something the matter?”
Hunter nodded. “Yeah, did Marco really quit?”
Sensei Brantley opened his mouth to respond, when Marco slipped in behind him. “No, Sensei and I just had a disagreement.”
He looked up at his teacher. “We’re good, now.”
“Who said Marco quit?” Sensei Brantley asked as he handed Hunter his drink.
Everyone in the dojo pointed at Jeremy, now wide-eyed with fury and shock at the sight of Marco and the red belt around his waist. “Wh-what are you doing here?! Where’d you get that?!”
“Good question Mr. Birnbaum. Everyone, gather around.” Sensei Brantley said as he and Marco moved in to set down the drinks on a table. Behind them, Drew, Jo, and Roland entered and joined the other students, already dressed in their gis.
“You might have heard some stuff, but trust your Sensei,” he began when everyone gathered. “Marco hasn’t quit the school, in fact… he has ascended–like a great Super Saiyan–to the next level in his journey.”
As soon as the drinks were set down, he gestured to Marco’s red belt. “Mr. Marco Diaz is now a red belt, and you will regard him with the respect befitting of his skill and experience.”
“Now.” He and Marco both placed their fists into their palms. “Bow to your Sensei, and your new Assistant Sensei.”
In unison, every student did as commanded–with one exception. Jeremy stormed down the bleachers and marched right up to Sensei Brantley.
“What are you doing? You can’t make him your assistant!” Jeremy hollered, stomping his foot and pointing at Marco’s face.
Royal Road is the home of this novel. Visit there to read the original and support the author.
Sensei Brantley turned to Jeremy. “Mr. Birnbaum!”
His shout stopped the child mid-tantrum. “Marco has demonstrated not only that he meets the requirements to be a red belt, but has shown courage, sick skills, and the mad wisdom to be my assistant.”
He looked back at Marco with an affirming nod. “There’s no one else in this humble dojo I would be prouder to have helping me guide you on the path, and you will treat him with the respect he’s earned.”
Marco nodded to his Master. “Thank you, Sensei.”
Hunter spoke up. “Heck yeah, I’m gonna tell Pete you were legit. He’s gonna be so stoked.”
Jeremy pulled out his phone. “We had a deal, Brantley! My Mom told you not to make him your assistant!”
The other students looked up at Jeremy, who gripped the phone and held it up into Sensei’s face.
“She pays the rent for this dojo, which means I own you!” Jeremy screeched. “All she has to do is stop giving you your stupid money and then what? No more dojo! You’ll just be a forty year old loser living with your Mom!”
The other students were all looking at Sensei Brantley.
“Is that true, Sensei?” One of the students asked.
Sensei Brantley looked to his students. “Class, Jeremy was right. The reason he’s always had preferential treatment and junk is because his mom gave mad funds to the school, so I can keep it open.”
He slumped his shoulders a little. “I’m not good at business, so I take what I can get.”
“I mean, it’s so obvious…” Hunter muttered.
Some of the other students murmured in agreement.
“It definitely explains everything,” Jo said to Drew and Roland.
Roland nodded. “Mmhm.”
“Seriously, he’s a mini-Trip,” Drew whispered.
Jeremy folded his arms. “So what are you waiting for, tell him he can’t be your assistant!” He turned his head away from Marco and gestured to the door. “Better yet… throw Marco out of this dojo right now, I don’t want to see his stupid face anymore.”
“No.”
Jeremy stopped, turned his head, and glared at Brantley for even daring to say that word. “… No?”
“You remember when I showed up at the park yesterday, right? I wanted to apologize to Marco because Roland’s grandma came over to my house and threw me out of my own bedroom window.” Sensei Brantley explained.
Drew and Jo looked over at Roland, who shrugged his shoulders. All agreed that it was something that Nano would do though.
Sensei Brantley turned to the other students. “She did it because I had actually made up that junk about Marco needing to be a red belt to be my assistant.”
Sensei Brantley lowered his head in shame as his students gasped. “And I made that junk up because Jeremy told his mom to threaten to pull money from the school if I made Marco my assistant, and I couldn’t just tell him that because… you know… I was afraid of hurting his feelings after I had been so stoked before.”
He stopped and realized what he said. “By the way, guys? Don’t do that. Lying to your friends and not being up front with them will only totally backfire and blow up in your face later.”
All eyes in the dojo fell again on Jeremy.
“Wow, Jeremy, wow,” Hunter said.
“You cried to your Mommy to mess with Marco?! You jerk!” One of the girls yelled at him.
“You always sucked but, dude, that’s pathetic!” Another boy called out.
“The word you’re looking for is ‘psychopathic,’” Drew suggested.
“That too!”
Jeremy backed away from the angry kids and held up his phone. “Yeah! So what?! I can call my mom right now and she’ll have this whole dojo shut down in a second. Then none of you will have your stupid karate!”
Jo called from the back. “Why would you even do that?!”
The frustration of all these kids taking shots at him boiled over. “Because I’m better than you! That’s why!”
“Jeremy, stop,” Sensei Brantley said.
Jeremy turned to face him. “You don’t tell me what to do! I still own you!”
“No you don’t,” Sensei Brantley said. “Well, not anymore.”
Jeremy’s mouth fell open. “Huh?”
The door opened and Dipper stuck his head in. “Hey, Sensei Brantley? We’re here.”
Sensei Brantley brightened and waved to him. “Oh, right on time. Come on in.” He turned to his students. “I’ve got great news for all of you, you’re gonna love this.”
The door opened again, and Dipper walked in followed by Mabel, Misao, Shermie, Nano Williams herself, and the Manager from the VHS Depot–the towering martial artist making even the tall Pines twins seem short by comparison.
“I’m super bad at business,” Sensei Brantley admitted. “But Nano’s not and she got me in touch with a few local folks who’d be happy to cover the rent, so I didn’t have to give preferential treatment to one bratty student.”
He looked to his class. “So from now on, guys, the rules that I kinda sorta let Jeremy break now apply to him, too.”
Marco looked over at Jeremy and smiled with all his satisfied malice. “And you can’t get your way by extorting Sensei.”
As the class broke into celebration. Nano counted the number of students and hummed. “My, my, Brantley. You’ve got a bigger school than I thought. This could be a good investment for me, and you.”
“Well, yeah. I may be super bad at numbers, but you know what I am good at?”
He struck a fighting pose. “Teaching how to kick butt!”
“I’ll say!” Marco testified.
Nano hummed. “How have you kept this place open, though?”
Sensei Brantley gestured to Marco. “He’s been balancing my budget for the last three years.”
“It’s true,” Marco said.
The VHS Depot Manager perked up. “Can you do taxes?”
Marco cracked his knuckles. “Can John Woo choreograph a gunfight?”
Jeremy Birnbaum froze in place, his mind trying to comprehend what was happening. From his earliest memory, the one thing he knew was that he was special, and that he could have anything he wanted. All he had to do was ask and his mother would give it to him. If asking didn’t work, he could yell. If yelling didn’t work, he could scream. If he screamed long enough, he would be denied nothing. That was the guiding logic of his young life, whatever he wanted was his. People existed only to get him what he wanted, and no one could defy him.
He began to hyperventilate, his face colored first a red and then almost turned purple. He glared at Marco as tears began to fill his eyes. “No…”
With a mighty stomp of his feet, Jeremy looked wildly across the adults gathered and shrieked. “NO! I’M GONNA TELL MY MOM AND IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT YOU DO! YOU’RE ALL GONNA PAY FOR THINKING YOU CAN TELL ME WHAT TO DO!”
Nano winced. “Lord have mercy, the lungs on that child.”
Shermie dug his finger into one ear. “Oy gevalt, you can hear this putz all the way back in the old country…”
The VHS Depot Manager hummed. “This is what I imagine r/movies sounds like in Real Life.”
“THIS IS MY DOJO! I HAVE THE BLACK BELT! MY MOM PAID FOR IT!”
Misao looked at Marco. “How can one boy be so spoiled?!”
“He’s an only child!” Drew shouted back.
Marco clapped his hands over his ears. “I’m an only child too, how did he turn out this bad?”
“YOU CAN’T DO THIS TO ME! I OUTRANK YOU, I CAN KICK ALL OF YOUR BUTTS!”
“I know, right?!” Roland called out over the shrieking, while Jo covered her ears before they bled.
“What?!” Marco yelled back as Jeremy only got louder.
“SO YOU’RE GOING TO SHUT UP AND DO WHAT I SAY AND KICK OUT THAT STUPID, LOSER, MEX-!”
Jeremy’s temper tantrum ended when he was grabbed from behind and yanked off the ground by Mabel–who muffled him with her hand clamped tightly over his mouth. Next to her, Dipper stood with his arms akimbo, shaking his head in disappointment.
“Man,” he said, “I expected a little brat, but this? This kid’s a full Gideon Gleeful.”
“And you know what we do with Lil’ Gideons, right, bro-bro?” Mabel asked.
Dipper nodded and walked over to the door to open it for her. “After you.”
As everyone watched, Mabel carried the thrashing child out of the Dojo and over to a garbage can that sat between the dojo and the yogurt shop next door. Seeing the garbage can, Jeremy’s struggles intensified, and when Dipper lifted the lid off the garbage can, he began kicking at Mabel in vain.
When she let go of Jeremy’s mouth to hoist him above her head, Jeremy shrieked. “LET GO! I’M GOING TO TELL MY MOM! PUT ME DOWN PUT ME DOWN! AHHHHHH!!”
Ignoring his cries, Mabel slammed Jeremy into the half-full garbage can and when she pulled back Dipper grabbed his still kicking legs and shoved him further into the mostly yogurt and paper cup filth that filled the bottom.
“AHHH! IT’S GROSS! LET ME OUT! AHHHH! AHHHHH!” Jeremy screamed as he struggled.
Dipper scanned the lot, and noticed a man dressed like a butler watching the scene with a dispassionate expression. He pointed at the can. “Hey, does this trash belong to you?”
When the butler nodded, Dipper tipped the can over onto its side, and Mabel kicked it hard as she could, sending it rolling over towards the Butler, to Jeremy’s further distress. “PPPBBT! EEW IT GOT IN MY MOUTH!”
Walking around in front of the rolling barrel, the Butler stopped it with his foot and put on a pair of rubber gloves, before extracting the blubbering and sobbing Jeremy out of it and into the back seat of the car. He turned to the Pines Twins, as Brantley and Marco came out to watch the scene.
“I will inform the Mistress that young Jeremy has been expelled from martial arts classes.” The butler said, before he walked around to the driver’s side of the car–with a skip in his step.
As Jeremy’s car backed out and pulled away, Marco looked at Dipper and Mabel. “You know what? If I had half the nerve you two do? I would’ve done that to Jeremy a lo-o-ong time ago.”
“Yeah, and Jeremy’s Mom would’ve sued my Mom’s pants off.” Brantley looked at Dipper and Mabel. “You guys got a good lawyer?”
“Oh please,” Mabel said. “What would she sue us for?”
Dipper nodded. “Escorting her son out of the dojo so his butler can take him home?”
Marco lit up in recognition. “Yeah, that’s all that happened here.” He looked at Brantley. “Right?”
Brantley stared at Marco, uncomprehending–before it clicked. “Oh–ohhh! Yeah, that’s totally all that happened.” He peeked back into the dojo. “Right guys?”
The consensus inside the dojo, from students to its new sponsors, was unanimous that nothing happened.
Brantley led the group back in. “Well then, how about we kick off our lesson for the day. All right guys, get your smoothies in you and prepare yourselves. For today, two mighty dragons soar over this dojo…” He looked aside to Marco and raised his fist. “… And they are as strict masters as they are fearsome warriors!”
Looking back and forth between his Sensei’s fist and his face, Marco smiled and returned the fist bump. “That’s right!”
With burning enthusiasm, the class–its newest students included–chorused together. “Yes, Sensei!”
As the class got under way, Dipper, Mabel, and Misao sat down on the bleachers with the dojo’s other new sponsors to watch. To their surprise, they found Star sitting at the end, having slipped in via Dimensional Scissors.
“Huh, you came to watch Marco train?” Misao asked.
“Well, yeah!” Star replied. “Marco loves karate, and he’s made up with his teacher! I’m not gonna miss that for the world!” She stood up and waved. “Hi Marco! Don’t forget to show them your cool karate chops!”
“I won’t, Star,” Marco called back.
“Marco-sensei, is that your girlfriend?” One of the Jeremy-aged students asked.
“W-what?! P-Pay attention! Eyes forward!”
“Yes, Sensei~!” The kids replied before they began chanting. “Marco’s got a girlfriend!” to his embarrassment.
Star blushed, feeling a little caught out herself, and looked off to the side. “Hee…”
As the others laughed, Misao thought about how well the toppling of Jeremy’s reign went, and the seeds of an idea were planted in her mind. She let out a small, barely audible hum, and pulled out her phone to look at her contact list. Scrolling through it, her thumb came to rest on a contact listed “Mother.”