L limped out of the dungeon sweaty and sore, but with a wide smile plastered on his face. He could hear his heart beating, his blood boiling. His face shook as a thick shiver went down his spine, and L couldn’t help but collapse in the bushes, laughing hysterically. Oh the things he could do! That he would do! The plans and schemes and the gore he would spill! 

Sweat ran down L’s eyebrows and sore muscles convulsed in ecstasy. His blood was wet with adrenaline, and his body begged him to unsheath his blade and to drown himself into the heat of battle. It was an unbearable and unquenchable desire to move. To fight. To breath.

Such sensations, however, often made themselves abruptly scarce in the absence of mortal danger. The darkness offered him a solace which L did not wholly appreciate and had instead begun to curse. It was then, in his erratic state of mind, did he decide he would no longer play the clever trickster and would instead play the crazed berserker, a most foolish choice considering L’s particular talents in the art, but a content choice nevertheless.

A few rabbits stopped to stare at the odd creature. They then hopped away. An owl cried in the distance, and dark things darted above L.

What a joy it was, to be alive! To the bones and to the marrow of the bones, L was glad to be breathing. It’s been a long and tiring night, mapping the dungeon, but what he spied filled him full of glee and wonders.

It was also in this ecstasy that L was capable, and fully willing, to call upon one of his past and most enduring Guildmates, Hound, regarding his new and most exciting path towards certain doom. Surely, she will be pleased to find out L’s new muse, and most willing to assist in it, L hoped.

L logged off of Null Online. His body will remain in the forest, and though it will be defenseless, the protruding darkness will serve a sufficient protector in his short absence.

The star-filled sky vanished into L’s personal lobby room. Much juxtaposing to L’s grim nature, the room was made of softwood and was adorned with wide variety of flowers, and instead of walls the room instead had bookcases filled to the brim with books ranging from “The Evolutionary Progress Of The Human Tissue,” to “The Ground Theory of Mana In The Third-Genesis Hexa Processes,” all the way to “Why Bananas Are Fucking Great.” One side of the room was open to the forest and its bright sun.

This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

L, formally known as Jack-In-A-Box, and informally as Jack The Ass, called his dear friend.

While he called up Hound, Jack began to rummage around for books regarding close combat weapons. His search was cut short, however, as he heard Hound’s voice resounding in his ears.

“J-Jack? Jack! What the fucking fuck! Where the hell have you been all this time. Why haven’t you answered any of my calls? What happened to your character, your ranking, and the guild!? And why didn’t you tell me what was going to happen with you and the Blade Maste-”

“I missed you too, munchkin.”

“-Call me that one more fucking time and I’ll bite your dick off and stuff it down your throat and out of your asshole, honey.”

“Ah! That’s the gal I fell in love with”

“Fuck you.”

“Sure. Right now in E-94 Training Area?”

“As if, after going MIA on...wait, what? Why the E ranking area? Oh my god Jack what the hell happened to you.”

“I’ll tell you all about it in a spar.”

She paused. Jack could hear her nerves pulsing and blood fuming in frustration.

“Fine. I’ll take out my revenge on your body.”

“Looking forward to it. See you in a bit?”

“No, see you in a bit. 2:30 PM. In our gym. The one we broke our bones in. The one we grew up in. You still remember it, don’t you?”

Jack hesitated, allowing discomfort to fill his voice “Aly, I let you know before I left the guild that I-”

“I’m having none of that. No, Jack, just no. I’m not going to let your silver tongue wiggle itself out of this one.”

“B-but I thought you liked my tongue,” Jack grumbled.

“Only when I get to use it, you fool. You still have rank S clearance, right?”

“Aw, that brings sweet memories. I have rank A clearance. Remember The Gardens Of Eden? Let’s go to that and-”

“You still have rank S clearance, right?” Hound repeated, this time with iron in it.

Jack let his shoulders drop. “Yes, yes I do.”

“Then I’ll see you there,” Hound said, dropping the call.

Jack sighed. He walked into the balcony and bathed in the sunlight. His hands dangled lazily over the railing.

“Argh, I really don’t wan-”

A call interrupted him. It was Hound again.

“Wha-”

“Oh, and remember to shave--armpits included,” Hound said, and dropped the call.

Jack groaned even louder.