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It turned out that the kitty litter Iris buys is quite flammable, but the fire was contained on the steps.

Stone doesn't burn.

The door on the entrance to the first room wasn't airtight, but it did contain the smoke well enough. At least well enough to keep anything more than a faint burning smell from going up to the house. Which I still expected to have to hear about for years.

The old woman did have a red cylinder in her kitchen meant to put out grease fires. It had been expired, but Molly made her use some of her dungeon money to buy a new one, which I then added to my resources.

Pulling my core up a few levels while the adventures waited out the fire let me duplicate a few dozen copies and I set the Kobolds to begin spraying down the top of the steps with white dust that began to bring the fire under control.

Really, while Alelan was going to have something to say about all of that, no one got hurt so I would say that it had been worth it.

"Hey," Iris called out. "At least I got to copper third out of that. Got something called Quick Step.”

As the others congratulated her, with even Bee brightening up, Iris got a distracted look. Then she seemed to fill in a bit. Some loose skin tightened up, she stood a little taller, and even her teeth, as she grinned, seemed brighter. “Seventeen health.”

See. Worth it.

Ernesto had been standing guard at the top of the stairs, but with his back to the salt room, seeming to be more interested in looking down the steps to the next level. Eyeballing the next landing with the words “Another trap.” carved into the wall. This time without an arrow. “Are we going to push on and hit the next room, or call it a day once the way up is clear.”

Molly shook her head. "I'm all out of magic after healing up everyone's legs. And after I recover, I want to hit everyone's lungs with Remove Toxin."

Iris waved a hand at her niece. “Just use that potion.”

The younger three people nearly gasped before Bee explained. “Aunt Iris, we only have one, we need to save it for emergencies.”

Iris shrugged. “You can’t save stuff forever, use it when you can, or you’ll just end up never using it.” f

Iris got outvoted...

As the kobolds reached the first landing with the white dust, the air had cleared enough for the four of them, and the cat, to begin poking around the salt mine again. After a bit of discussion, Ernesto began beating on one of the columns until it cracked open to reveal a hollow spot inside.

This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

Which contained a toothpick crossbow scaled up in size to fit with a person’s hand and fire the one pencil sized quarrel already loaded into it.

Molly grabbed Ernesto's arm as he reached for it. "One, check it for traps. That's a thing now. Two, do not test it by shooting yourself this time. ”

“...or anyone else."

The boy shined a handheld light inside the hollow chamber then slowly picked up the weapon. As he examined it, he looked a bit thoughtful, then turned and held it out to Bee.

“I’m offering you this because you can only do the fire magic so many times a day, and you can use something else to attack with at range, not because of what just happened.”

Bee’s shoulder slumped a bit, but she still seemed pleased with the gift.

They smashed open several other columns, but the crossbow was the real prize. Other pillars and spots on the wall contained food and drinks, some kitchen knives rebuild into daggers, as well as a few other fun surprises.

Giant spiders, which caused some girlish shrieks, hollow spaces filled with snail slime, and some random junk from Iris’s house.

Which caused some confusion for Iris. “I have a chess set?”

After trying out every spot in the room that seemed to hold something, Ernesto made his way up the steps to report that the smoke had cleared out and it was safe to head back upstairs.

I admit it took me a while to realize I could just absorb the smoke.

The four of them sat down to eat and I picked up that both Molly and Ernesto weren’t that far from leveling up, then again so was I. Although I didn’t bother to mention it. I liked surprises.

After eating, Molly cleared everyone’s lungs with her spell before leaving, while Ernesto hesitated as if to stay longer before Iris remained him he need to catch his ride to the charity kitchen.

After he headed out, Bee turned to her aunt. “What’s going on with him?”

Her aunt gave her a dry look. “He gots the hots for you. Duh.”

Bee went beet red and began to sputter. “No he doesn't! I mean what does he act like you're his boss?”

Iris explained. Bee got angry.

Like Molly, she seemed very forgiving of people who chose to break into people’s homes and threaten them with violence in order to steal their possessions. The two of them started to have a bit of a fight before Iris held up a hand. “Me and Molly already had a go round on this. I believe people like him have to face consequences for their choices regardless of who they are, or how their life has gone. Because they made a choice. You don't. We are not going to change each other's minds. So let's just drop this instead of getting angry with each other."

Bee didn't seem happy but seemed to swallow her resentment down. She headed up to her room on the second floor with one last cutting remark. "You're more like mom than I thought."

Iris was unhappy and went into the kitchen where she grabbed her half empty bottle of tequila, before looking at it with a glare. Opening the cap, she began pouring it down the sink. “Tark, please don't put any more of this in the dungeon. I had to quit drinking when it began affecting my career, and I never started again because it seemed healthier. But it had been a problem for me, so even with my health score going up, it would be best if I stay dry.”

She threw the bottle in the trash and then took a shower before trying to nap.

Done. I had known a lot of people who turned to drinking as a relief from the stress and pain of adventuring. It had never been an issue for me but for others… Let's just say that if Iris thought it was a problem for her the least I could do was to not put it right in front of her.

Shortly after her charge settled into playing with her phone, my wife joined me in my core. I must have given her a look as she threw up her hands in surrender. "Easy big boy, I told you to go hard on her and you did exactly as requested. The girl is dramatic as hell and it takes a disaster level event for her to learn anything."

I let out a huff and held my arms out for her to close in so I could wrap them around her. After snuggling in for a moment or two, she asked. “Better?”

I grunted an affirmative.

She looked up at me. “Now can I mock you?”

I sighed, and she began her taunts. I tried to choke them off by squeezing her a bit, but she slipped free and danced away. “I knew you were going to take some steps, but I didn’t think you were going to take them with burning oil.”

That got me trying to catch her, and after a bit, she let me.

At least the rest of my night went well.