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54)

54)

The lime green winged angel seemed a little surprised to see the condition of our prisoner, then held up one of his hands as if to stop us from explaining. “Please hang on to him, he slipped free of the last place we had him.”

I looked at the sniveling man whose bloody and broken face was rapidly healing. “Who is this guy? He’s a dead guy like us right?”

Clement hesitated for a moment. "Do you want the long story or the short one?"

Alelan managed to snap out “Long.” before I could even get out “Sho-”

My employer nodded at her and then took a moment to choose his words. Which I will sum up for brevity.

Even before anyone ever died, the primordials had a place for their souls to go to. But it was really boring. Just a place for the dead to be, rather than float around in a formless void.

So they started to remake it into a place for themselves. Problem was, what to do with the baddies.

You know, murderers, robbers, and all the rest of the people who would make a heaven into a hell.

Well, what you did was make a real hell. Not a place of torment, but a place where people who think you can be a better person try to convince you to get along with others.

For centuries at a time, or longer. They didn't so much reform people as just bore them into behaving. Then they got to go to a very simplified afterlife with strict limits on what they got to do. It sounded like they had hoped the released would choose to be reborn out of boredom, and they just hoped they would be better people in their next lives.

But the baddies, the gods have them too. As well as tricksters. They made places for their own to go to after death, and they recruited others.

Such as the sniveler, Afar Grestledam. Thief, swindler, and would be god.

Earth. with so little magic, was only now developing the capacity to have local gods. The same society which had collected me, Alelan, Clement, and even Afar would place people who had proven themselves into those positions and hold them against all comers.

Or a recently released Gresledam could seize the chance to take a position such as a trickster deity before it could be claimed by causing trouble until people prayed to be spared from his attention.

There were some other details, way too many in fact. But that covered most of it.

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Clement shook his head sadly from behind his desk at our prisoner. "Afar, you had done so well in your rehabilitation. Now we have to send you back until the world of Earth is more developed and there are no more spots in their pantheons.”

The now fully healed little man had begun staring off into the distance during the angel's lecture now seemed to focus in on the conversation again. "How about I do the reborn thing instead? I always had the option before, even when you lot had me locked up tighter than a virgin's as-”

Alelan set one of her daggers to the back of his neck.

My employer tilted his head questioningly. "Why now? You spent ages in the Waiting halls and could have done that at any time?”

The shabbily dressed man rolled his eyes. “Because I failed the Twister, and she can’t get to me if I’m reborn as a mortal again. Besides the halls are worse than torture. Torturers don’t try to make you suffer and expect you to be grateful for it.”

He shook his head. “I’m done being me. Nothing I’ve ever tried has ever worked. I just want to be someone new. Let me out of this damned system.”

The angel stood up. “A choice had been made. A choice has been witnessed. So be it done.”

The room began to be filled with a bright light. Bright enough the dark shabby cloths on Ajar seemed to turn white before he faded away along with the light.

I blinked for a bit. He had gone after me and mine, right after I got my wife back, and he just skips out on any punishment. Well, aside from what me and the wife did.

At least he would be shitting himself for the next few years.

Alelan started to take over the reborn man's seat, then stopped with a grimace remembering who had been sitting there. Instead, she sat on the edge of Clement's desk.

“So, you want my husband, that guy?” She pointed at me. “To become a god?”

I blinked a few times… Oh right, the guy came right at me when he was trying to claim a job as a god. As usual, Alelan was several steps ahead of me. But me? What was I supposed to become the god of? Mild annoyances, superficial injuries, or maybe adventurer abuse?

Clement shook his head slowly. “I only realized he was becoming a focus for faith when I started to get notices. A prayer to ease pain, for the ability to help others, to survive. Three people not looking for wealth, but putting themselves in danger ten times a week for something wealth can’t buy them.”

It took me a second to get the words out. “So, some kind of god of adventure?”

Clement gave me a shallow nod. “That what it may shape up to be. It would be a huge promotion for someone who only died several weeks ago. But it will take a very long time before becoming a god on Earth to mean anything with so little free magic there. No one wants to spend centuries locking down the position with such a limited payout.'

He flicked his hands. “Disbelief and disregard from those who already have beliefs in their faiths and those who believe in nothing. Prayers made out of desperation rather than an offering of service. The only ones who would take such a job would have to be willing to dedicate themselves for lifetimes in thankless service for others.”

“I’m supposed to be retired!” I began to pace. “This was supposed to be the time for me and my wife to have young bodies again, to spend time with each other with no worries about what we would do when we got old. All the fun for as long as we cared to enjoy it without any responsibilities.”

I look to my wife. Would she stay here with me? Watching her ward age and die. Would she stick around for years and years of watching my back until someone else slipped in to take over in time for whatever good stuff that a one world local god would receive?”

My wife was looking thoughtfully at Clement. “So, the position of god of trickery is open?”

He slowly nodded. “Yes, if you can claim it, you can have it for so long as no one can take it away from you.”

She got up and turned to me, taking both of my hands as she looked up into my eyes. “I want this. Something for me, something meaningful. Because this time I can have this, and you. Are you with me love?”

I nodded. “Always.”

She grinned like a little girl, one of those scary ones. "First we need your three to know my name, then fear it. Please stop being so mean is sort of a prayer, right? Oh, we going to need symbols. Can I have some of your kobolds? I need someone to be my hands."

Well, at least I don’t have to worry about her getting bored. That's usually when bad things start to happen to people, like arson, being murdered in their sleep, or having something slipped into their food that causes a violent reaction involving one end of their body or the other.

It's better for her to have a project.