21)

It was the middle of the night when the two of them carefully removed the metal mesh that kept the bugs out of the house while the windows sat wide open throughout the night. A pest ward would have worked better, but what few enchanters this world had would be low-level at best. And they had no one to teach them.

Boys, two of them, and little more than children. I could have set Envoy or better yet another squirrel after them, but Ivy might have known them. It could just be a prank of some kind on a beloved elder of the community.

"O man, look at the old shit box of a computer. Where is the stuff she ordered?"

“Quiet dork, we don’t want to wake up the old bag.”

Or not.

Buttercup lurked in the hall, quiet as a mouse as I sent Kelvin and Envoy up the hidden paths I had left in the walls. Then Iris suddenly sat up in bed. "What? Buttercup… Two of them huh? Just wait for now."

Groaning, she got out of bed and began to get dressed in an odd mix of her workout clothes, tight pants, and her tie-on shoes. As well as her normal house dress. "Tark, if you can hear me, let me handle it."

The two burgers meanwhile were searching the kitchen, and not being very quiet about it. All the while with Envoy watched them from below the fridge, while Kelvin had to lurk on the stairs.

Heh. I have minions too big to fit under the fridge now. That was a long time coming.

Iris crept out of her room and took a deep breath while standing out in the hall. Then she stepped around the corner into the kitchen. "Who? Who are you? Why are you in my house? Oh god, please don't hurt me..." As the two boys stood there frozen in shock, she rolled her eyes. "I'll give you anything you want, I'm just a harmless old woman..."

The two boys had a chance there to apologize, and hope to be forgiven. Instead, they took up the roles the old woman was spelling out for them.

The smaller of the two boys pulled a knife from a wooded block full of them on the countertop. One with a split point that would limit how deeply it could penetrate flesh. A poor choice but I don’t think it was deliberate.

You might be reading a pirated copy. Look for the official release to support the author.

“Shut up old lady, and show us where the good stuff is.”

Iris raised her hands in the air. "Oh no. Don’t stab me. It’s down in the basement.”

The larger boy looked a little dubious but he still followed the smaller boy's decision. The small boy poked the knife in the air between him and the old woman. “Show us, and don’t try anything.”

Iris led them down the stairs. Taking the chance bar her teeth in an evil grin while they couldn't see her face.

As she made her way downstairs I considered moving my core to the attic to keep them from getting an alert that they were walking into a dungeon. But as she walked over and gestured down the dungeon steps I began to get a clue as to what she was up to.

The boys looked at the sign. “Dungeon?” They looked at a grinning Iris.

“Sex dungeon. Not that I use it anymore at my age, but I do hide my Christmas shopping down in the storage room. The kids refuse to go down there.”

Both boys looked a little aghast. But the bigger one also seemed a bit suspicious. “You’re doing Christmas shopping this early?”

Iris shrugged. “We do Christmas in august when they visit. I refuse to go north in the winter anymore.”

The boy with the carving knife waved it at Iris again. "You first." Iris slowly nodded, then started to head down a little nervously. I wonder how she thought this was going to play out, I don't think the plan was for her to go down there first.

She paused at the bottom of the room as Buttercup perched at the top of the stairs, ready to leap.

Then she held her breath as she stepped into the room, and breathed out as nothing happened.

[Your dungeon has its first visitor. Reward 10 BP ]

Looking around she saw the matching arch on the other side of the room leading to the as yet unused stairs going down on the other side.

“It’s all over there, just inside the storage room.”

That was enough for knife boy who eagerly began to cross the room. His larger friend grabbed Iris by the arm to pull her along as he stepped into the room.

Knife boy made it two steps before the alert that he had entered a dungeon brought him to a stop.

Iris gave him a hard kick in the rear that sent him staggering forward two steps before he fell. As she did so she grabbed the larger boy’s arm to keep her balance. Then she swung her fist back into his giblets, hard. This caused the boy to let go of her arm as he struggled to not drop to his knees.

Then she was shuffling at her best speed for the exit. “Kill ‘em Tark, kill ‘em. Eat them up.”

Really? Basrician trap detectors? A rather disappointing move from Iris. I expected better out of her.

Basically, you recruit a few would be adventures and send them into a new dungeon first, you know because they need the experience points the most. Then you let them bleed while you find out what you’re up against in the dungeon. All for when you come back with your real party.

But I guess I have to give her credit as well. Well played Iris. A bit evil, but it's not like you went out to recruit them for this. So let's say a bit vindictive and opportunistic. I'm still not sure I approve, but I’m glad we’re on the same side.

Since she had no way of knowing it was there. I don't think she planned on kicking the boy past the unseen line halfway across the room that activated the attack squirrels.

Or that since she had been in the room when she sent the boy flying, that the room would send in seven squirrels. Two for each adventurer, in addition to the first one.

I mean, she couldn’t have. Right?