Donny

I have to say I was nervous. Even the sound of rain falling outside that I loved was not helping my mood at all.

The issue at hand was that Professor Zacharius was dead serious. The only time I’ve seen him like this was when he was grading papers. That was also when he was strictly to be left alone.

Not to mention this was probably the first time I was alone in the lecture hall like this. Yes, being in his office was a normal thing... but being here, that was new. The Chrono-Haven university was the top learning institution in this part of the world. You could go from a simple course about farming to the more demanding branches like medicine and even Void research. What made it even more impressive was that each branch had its own lecture halls, each seating up to 150 students . And I’m not talking about being packed in sardines and pushing every moment of the lecture, each seat was a top grade luxury red leather chair that made even the top gaming chairs feel shame. From the integrated laptops to the cupholders... Yeah, nobody likes coffee or coke spilled over their keyboards, especially the school board. Now take all of that, imagine about 80 branches and each branch having at least 4 to 5 lecture halls... the university was big, the biggest in the world, and it still was just the western part of the city..

So the professor calling me to the lecture hall instead of his office was definitely not improving my anxiety, not to mention it was definitely activating a few alarms in my head. It was even worse since as soon as I approached the podium he just pushed a cup of coffee into my hand and pulled out his cigarettes, offering me one- something he's never done. He is always taking or, “borrowing” as he puts it, from me.

“Donny”

My brain was frozen trying to process things until he said my name, kicking it back into gear.

“Yes professor?”

Professor Zacharius was every bit not the classic look of a highly certified and well educated man. He was more of a crazy 80's mad scientist who was on the verge of either making some life changing cancer curing device or a nuclear bomb. He was a short man about 140cm with his crazy unkempt hair and beard that made only his eyes visible. Now combine that with four different types of reading glasses hanging off his neck and those long black leather boots and you got yourself a crazy bastard look. I think one of his parents was actually a rodent beast-kin, which would explain the height and all the hair.

“I presume you understand that I summoned you today for a reason?”

Unfortunately I’m a huge smartass when I start to panic, and he had a serious, no-bullshit tone. I could only feel a grin forming on my mouth as my self-defense mechanism activated and, as usual, my mouth started to work before my brain.

“Well I assume that you finally got embarrassed for taking your students cigarettes these past two years and decided to share some. I mean seriously! Don’t you have tenure? It’s kind of despicable, I have to say… By the way we still have about two hundred to go! And oh, I mean packs, not single digit cigarettes! But of course don't worry! I will make sure to mark down this date September 17, 2012 as the day you finally offered one of your smokes.

My comment clearly hit home as Zacharius was staring at me wide eyed clearly doing everything in his power to stop himself from laughing.

The prof. was one of the few people at this university that I actually felt comfortable with. I’m actually an extremely shy person when I meet new people or when I'm in new places. You know one of those people that gets embarrassed to go into a store just because it’s new, and let’s not even mention clothing boutiques. My friend took me to one once, and the way those ladies were looking at me made me so nervous and sweaty that I have nightmares about it. Thank the Void for whoever thought up the idea of call-in delivery for pizza.

A few moments of deep breathing and clear silent cursing, the prof. was finally able to calm down and start again. Of course he tried to throw in a few shots as well but unfortunately for him, he didn’t have my talent.

“You know, I am amazed what you can do with your mouth.”

“That’s what she said!”

He was just asking for it with that comment, practically set himself up.

*Pfffffff! *cough* Hahaha *cough*”

The prof. finally broke and started laughing, only I wish he hadn’t taken a sip of coffee at that exact moment. The spit take was a very fun scene to watch… until you're on the other side of one, then it's not so fun.

After a few more moments the prof. finally calmed down, breathed in deep, and I knew he was back to being serious. There was no more messing around, there was no more joking. We were finally about to get to the root of the problem.

“Listen Donny… there is… there is no easy way to say this.”

Every fiber of my being was screaming in me to stop this conversation. To stop his next words. I knew where this was going- what he was going to say!

“Then don’t say it professor. I know you want to comment about my dashing good looks but I don’t play for that team, so how about we-”

“DONATELLO!”

It wasn't him slamming his hand on the table. Nor was it even the yell or the look of desperation in his eyes. It was the use of my full name that finally made me shut my mouth. He knew how much I hated my full name and how I despised hearing it. Not to mention how nerdy as hell it was, it was also the name that was given to me by that bitch of a mo- shit… I really hated it. He actually took the time to talk to the other professors to make sure they don't use it during attendance. I mean I am a nerd but that is not the point, and this is definitely not the time since the prof was actually pulling out a piece of paper and pushing it in front of me.

“I am sorry Donny, but this is for the best.”

The form read: Chrono-Haven University Dropout Form

My whole world came crashing down as I read the title. To say that I was shocked was an understatement. I spent the last two years at the Chrono-Haven University, working hard to get my masters in linguistics, and teach at this very university.

I’m not saying I’m the smartest guy or the best student, but that’s why I was focusing on the linguistic course. I actually spoke a few different languages. Apparently had the rare talent to learn languages just by listening. But this? This was a nightmare come true. I was expecting some bullshit, some speech, some idiocy about courses or therapy or support groups... but this!

“Wait… you can’t be serious? I know my grades are not the best! But I am still in the top fifty of the 300 total students that are on this course! I know more than six languages and I can learn even more! Not to mention who else would know old Voitlan! We have been translating those manuscripts for the past year and the only rea-”

Professor Zacharius stayed calm during my ranting. It felt like an eternity, but truthfully it was probably only fifteen minutes. Fifteen whole minutes of me ranting, raving, and throwing a tantrum trying to give my story and make my case. And the prof…. He just stayed quiet and listened to me, he didn't speak a word even when I was trying to provoke him by using some choice insults. He was completely silent, listening to my every word. That was probably the worst part about his silence, because it meant he already made up his mind.

“Listen Donny, there are other jobs, other paths. This is not the end of the world you can-”

The story has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.

I didn't even let him finish, my rage came out and cut him off as slammed my hand and threw his cup from the table...

“PROFESSOR! JUST TELL ME WHY?!”

But I knew why. That was the worst part of the whole conversation. I knew why this was happening- why any of the bullshit in my life was happening... but I hoped... I hoped it was different this time. I hoped that destiny took pity and that it was something else.

“It’s because you’re a Gray my boy.”

But destiny, like always, was a bitch.

“You are a smart kid Donny, still young... but you are alone and considering your situation I really do understand it. But I also know you are bullied and ignored every day. In the name of Void, when was the last time you went to a party!? For fucks sake, 70% of the university life is getting drunk, high and poking everything that walks! And you do none of that!”

I was looking down now, staring at the wet spots that were forming in front of me. I was kind of hoping that the roof was leaking because of all the rain, but life was cruel and this university had too much money to have a leaky roof. And the prof. was clearly a long way from finishing since he began to speak again.

“As a professor you need to be confident, strong, proud, and interesting! You need to be an inspiration for the younger generations, somebody they can look up to! Somebody they can relate to, and you my dear boy have none of that. The students would eat you up and destroy you. So I am sorry but I cannot keep telling this white lie anymore.”

Then after a few moments of silence he let out another sigh as he stood up and approached me. The prof. put a hand on my shoulder and started speaking in a soft voice, like a father comforting his child.

“I know it is not your fault Donny. Being born powerless is a cruel fate that nobody can predict. It has left scar’s that will last a lifetime, and I can’t even begin to understand what you went through in your life or even what cruel hardships await you down the line.”

My tears were flowing nonstop. I was crying like a baby, hearing these things... things that I knew they were true, things that I have to deal with on a daily basis. Coming from somebody I respect especially made it hurt… It was like torture.

“I am sorry Donny, I thought you would change, or things would get better. Unfortunately two years have already passed and you're still the same. But at least let me help you one more time. I failed as your professor so let this old man do one last act of kindness.”

It took some strength but I finally decided to look up at him. And I could see it behind his eyes. It was guilt. Did he feel guilty for lying to me all these past two years… or was he feeling guilty that he failed. Truthfully I didn’t care about his situation… my life was the one that got ruined again.

But ignoring my internal debate of self-loathing and pity, the professor continued to speak clearly hoping to raise my spirits, even if just a little.

“My friend Tilse owns a Library in the Southern part of Chrono-Haven and I called in a favor. You will at least have a job. Use this as a new beginning.”

Zcharius then smiled. It was that all knowing “I'm a professor” smile. A smile that he made whenever he was about to give some words of wisdom that would change somebody's life in some way.

“I had two different dreams fail before I finally found this one, and let me tell you I don't regret it. So let me give you one more important piece of advice, something that I believe will help you. Are you listening Donny?”

I weakly nodded my head, doing everything in my power to try to pay attention, not to think about my situation again.

“No matter how hard things get! Now matter how difficult it becomes. You must remember there is always and I mean always a l- *BEEEEEEEEEEP*”

“Wait what?” As I looked up at him in confusion.

“I said *BEEEEEP*!!! *ALAAAAAARM*!!! *BEEEEEEEP*!!!”

*****************

*BEEP!!! BEEEEP!!! ALAAAAAARM!!! BEEEEP!!! BEEEEP!!!*

“GOOOOOOOOD MORNING CHRONO-HAVEN!!! IT'S A LOVELY TUESDAY MORNING! TODAY IS THE 13TH OF APRIL AND ITS STILL 2022 SO LET'S GET UP AN-”

“IN THE NAME OF THE VOID STOP!!! I GET IT, I GET IT! SHUT THE FUCK UP!”

I was moving my hand like crazy trying to hit the *Cancel* button on my phone. Crap, I hate this new update! It changed the interface completely with the button in a different spot and automatically connecting to the morning radio. Fuck these touchscreen phones and give me a good keyboard anytime!

After a few more failed tries trying to hit the life saving red button button, I finally gave up and got out of bed. It took me a few moments to find my way to the bathroom. Even though I spent more than nine years in this one bedroom apartment I still needed a few moments every morning. I was never a morning person, and getting older just made it worse.

After a few moments of washing my face and removing all the crust from my eyes I looked upon myself in the mirror. Still the same though. Short dark brown hair, with brown eyes and no distinguished facial features. Average height and average build was the best way to describe me. Yes, that's how un-important I look, like a filler NPC in a video game that doesn't even have any lines. Just standing on the side of some tavern as a simple decoration- wait, did I say tavern? Nah, probably at the market with the other less important fillers who are just there for you to ignore.

I could only sigh in exhaustion as the dream came back to me, fresh on my mind.

“Again with that specific nightmare… this is getting ridiculous!”

That nightmare was a recurring process for me. It tends to happen at least once or twice a week. I even went to a therapist about it, but of course they just gave me sessions once a month and told me to take aspirin because my head was killing me every time I woke up.

Unfortunately, I never went again since I knew what was going to happen. He was just going to focus on me being a Gray and how my lovely childhood is the reason. Yeah, I know all of that already. And I don’t have money to throw away for something I already know.

“Why can’t I dream of something nice like a monster made out of coffee candy or maybe some Cat Beast-Kin in my bed?”

I hated that dream that was just a memory from ten years ago when my favorite professor told me to drop out of the University. Even though he made me drop out, I stopped blaming him after a couple of years. Professor Zacharius was a man of principle and wisdom, and I understood why he did it. Doesn’t mean I have to like it though- fucking hated it, actually. I haven't even spoken to him since that day, even though he sends me a message every couple of months... like I said. I understand, but I don't like it.

Being a Gray tends to scar you in our world. Even though Zohoron has more than 14 Billion people of different races, the number of powerless is less than 0.01%, and guess who drew the lucky number. We are constantly discriminated against and bullied throughout our lives. I mean I know a guy whose fucking ability is basically to be a walking lighter and he is living a normal life, while yours truly is apparently useless and pathetic.

I looked to my side and saw a picture of my dad, my brother, my step-mom, and her two daughters… Oh boy is that a fucked up combination if you ever saw one.. Don't get me wrong, I was never abused, it’s just a simple rule when you’re the oldest brother and your parents work twelve hours a day. You've got to be the one in charge, take the responsibility.

My younger brother had a communication disorder, who is only two years younger than me. My two step-sisters, who were more than twelve years younger than me, came after my father remarried. My dad who has always been there for me, and where I learned to be such a smartass. And although he doesnt talk about our birth mother, apparently she couldn't look at my brother and me. She was disappointed in us, so she left a powerless older son and a mentally disabled younger one.

This meant I had to take care of my younger brother while my father worked, and then those two brats came and my plate was already full. I’m still not happy that I had to learn how to change diapers at such a young age.

It’s been more than eleven years since I left my family to go to the university and I only stayed in contact with my father and step-mother and of course my brother who always joined the call just to hear my voice. I can’t even remember the last time I had a proper conversation with my sisters or my birth-mother... When I think about it, it was about thirteen years ago when she actually called me to congratulate me on my 18th birthday, after that I never heard back from her again. Luckily my step-mom is an amazing person even though she tends to try too much.

Shit! I always enter memory lane after the nightmare… Wait- since I’m thinking about my birthday! I quickly finished washing my face and went to my phone and the number of messages was in double digits. I turned on my laptop, the only expensive thing in my apartment. I don't mind spending 3000$ on a SSSx gaming laptop but I have a heart attack when I need to pay 40$ for a jacket at the flea market.

“Yes, all my clothes are from the flea market and the people can deal with them.”

This comment just made me raise my eyebrow and contemplate what I just did…I really need to stop talking to myself in the morning. Luckily before I could actually start to question my sanity I noticed that the number of notifications and messages on my Discord and Skype account was also in double digits.

“Good thing I’m off today so let’s put on some coffee, grab a smoke, and go through all of this.”

But lady luck struck again... The first thing I noticed was the giant puddle in my pseudo kitchen/living room, which means my upstairs neighbor had another one of his pipes burst. The worst part was that it dripped all over the container holding my coffee and now it was all ruined.

“For the love of the Forgotten seals that hold the Void how many times has this happened ALREADY!!! How many fuc...no! Calm down Donny, it's OK Donny, we can deal with this Donny… And stop talking to yourself in third person Donny!” I took a deep breath to control my rising blood pressure. After a few moments I exhaled and started getting dressed, off to the corner shop to buy some supplies. Shit!

Just my luck! I just had to start my birthday like this!